Are you wondering why your husband looks at other females online? Does it bother you? This guide presents 20 ideas for what to do in this situation.
In my role as a life coach, I am often helping clients discover the best way to tackle personal problems with those closest to them.
That’s why I’m keen to share this guide with you.
So, let’s dive in.
Why My Husband Looks At Other Females Online?
Don’t panic. This might not be a threat to your marriage.
If you’re worried it might be, it’s important to remember that men are very visual creatures.
Men like to look at other women, even if they’re completely satisfied in their relationship.
It’s a completely normal thing for guys to want to look at half-naked women, whether that’s online, in a magazine or on the beach.
It’s not an easy impulse for men to turn off.
Women typically need to be stimulated by a man’s personality and have an emotional connection to be attracted to them, and that’s why some don’t understand this obsession that men have with looking at sexy pictures online.
As such, a lot of women would only begin paying attention to men if they were unhappy in their relationship.
But that’s not the case for men!
Guys will get caught ogling women even if they’re completely besotted with their partner. It’s part of the male instinct. Straight men will never stop finding women attractive.
Perhaps you’re wondering: “Why does he need to look at other women when he’s got me!”
Allow me to answer this by repeating: just because he looks at other women, it doesn’t mean he’s dissatisfied with your marriage.
For some men, scrolling through pictures of hot women online is just a quick dopamine hit, like eating a chocolate bar might be for you.
On a grander scale, it might be a form of escapism from his tough day-to-day life, like watching a trashy rom-com with a glass of wine is for you.
“Why can’t he unwind with me?!” you may be wondering.
I’m sure he loves to unwind with you in his free time, sometimes. If he doesn’t, that’s a conversation worth bringing up (and I’ll be giving you tips for how to do that later).
But, either way, staring at attractive women is usually nothing but a quick and fun distraction for him.
A lot of guys still watch adult movies and masturbate even if they’re in a happy relationship. A lot of women enjoy drinking wine with their female friends, even if they have no problems to run away from. These scenarios really aren’t too different. So, in most cases, you have nothing to worry about if you catch your husband looking at other women online.
Still, in my personal experience as a life coach and relationship coach, I’m aware that simply telling someone to not worry isn’t always enough to stop them from stressing.
That’s why I’ve written a list of expert ideas for what to do if your husband looks at other women online.
You’ll also find some suggestions for scenarios that your husband is showing signs of dissatisfaction in your marriage.
What Should I Do If My Husband Looks At Other Females Online?
The more of these steps you can follow, the more likely you’ll be to bring this issue to a satisfying resolution.
1. Don’t Panic
As I’ve explained, there’s usually no threat to your marriage when your husband is looking at other women online. It’s going to be hard to stay calm and think rationally if you’re worried he wants to replace you with one of these girls online.
2. Consider The State Of Your Marriage
Is there a possibility that this issue is upsetting you because of other problems in your marriage?
Is there something more alarming that’s annoying or upsetting you? When this happens, other smaller problems can blow up in our minds.
Has your intimate life been suffering over the past year? Has he not been the same loving person you married? Has he been engaging in other more unhealthy behavior?
Whatever the problem is, take it as a wake-up call to address the major issues in your marriage. Once you do that, you might see that the women he follows on Instagram are less of a big deal.
3. Work On Your Relationship
There’s not always a link between a man’s relationship satisfaction and whether he looks at other women online.
Still, if you use this stress about other women as a catalyst to work on your relationship, everyone wins.
He gets a loving and more attentive wife – and you’ll usually find your husband is happy to reciprocate this affection.
4. Define Cheating
What’s your definition of cheating? Has he overstepped that mark? Do you know each other’s definitions of cheating? If not, this might be an important conversation to have with your husband.
5. Set Healthy Boundaries
If your husband’s actions are upsetting you, it’s always good to mention that. That doesn’t mean you need to blame or scold him. This rarely leads to a healthy productive conversation.
It’s better to frame the conversation as “This behavior makes me feel like this, for this reason.
If he has crossed your boundaries for what’s acceptable in a marriage, don’t hesitate to let him know.
6. Don’t Nag
If you attack or scold him, your husband will most likely respond by suggesting that you can’t tell him what to do on his phone.
Indeed, whenever you frame relationship feedback as a you vs. him battle, it’s likely to create conflict.
Start the conversation from a place of love where it’s two teammates battling against the problem.
7. Make It About How You Feel
Do this rather than blaming or scolding him, and you’re more likely to get a positive response.
8. Sandwich The Feedback In Compliments
This is a classic tip that any relationship expert would share about giving constructive feedback to your partner.
So, for example:
“Darling, I know you work so hard to provide for this family and you want to unwind after work.
“But, it really bothers me when I catch you looking at all these women online. It makes me feel like I’m not a beautiful woman in your eyes and this really gets me down.”
“I love you and I’ll do anything to make you happy, but I’d really like to know why you have to do this.”
9. Ask Him Why He Does It
There might be a reasonable explanation that you haven’t considered. Either way, this is more likely to lead to a productive conversation about his habit, compared to you telling him to stop.
Related Content: Tips “My Husband Misinterprets Everything I Say”
10. Tell Him To Do It Away From You
If this is all it would take for you to be happy, go ahead and ask him for this. It’s an easy compromise for him to agree to, and you’d imagine he’d have the self-control for this task. Plus, you’re not telling him to stop altogether. He can stare at as many women as he wants when you’re not around.
11. Consider Your Own Social Media Content
If you’re posting audacious pictures that attract attention from other men, there’s a high chance he’ll bring these up when you confront him. Could it perhaps be hypocritical for you to complain about him giving attention to other girls when you’re potentially baiting other guys like this?
12. Work On Your Own Low Self-Esteem
If you feel insecure about him looking at pictures of other girls, an answer might be to address where these insecurities come from. There’s nothing wrong with doing that on top of the conversations you’re having with your husband. A relationship coach, life coach or therapist will be able to offer you professional help with this.
13. Be Your Best Self
There’s never a bad reason to focus on self-improvement and becoming the best version of yourself. If you take the steps, you’ll feel better about yourself and most likely attract more attention from your husband too.
14. Should You Ask To See His DMs?
How would you feel about your husband checking your DMs? Would it hurt that he didn’t completely trust you to be faithful? If so, asking to see his DMs might not be the best move. If you consider this an offensive breach of privacy, there’s every chance that he’ll feel the same way. This could cause more problems than it solves.
The same goes for asking to check his browser history.
15. Should I Ask Him To Delete His Social Media Profiles?
Again, would it hurt if he asked you to delete yours? Would you be willing to delete yours? If it seems like an extreme solution to you, it probably will to him too. Also, even if you are married, his social media profiles do not belong to you.
16. Should I Ask Him To Stop Posting Pictures?
If he’s a handsome man posting salacious pictures, you should absolutely talk about how this makes you feel. A lot of men and women don’t like their partners soliciting attention from the opposite gender, so it’s worth mentioning how it makes you feel when he does this. Remember the communication tips above.
17. Could He Put A Wedding Ring In His Bio?
This is a social media trend I’ve noticed recently; married social media users post the wedding ring emoji in their bio followed by their spouse’s tag. This is a nice way to ward off unwanted attention from the opposite gender.
It might make him think twice about sending racy messages to women too, since they’d have the means to forward those on to you.
18. Could You Indulge In Some Escapism Together?
If he admits that women’s photos provide escapism from the harsh realities of his everyday life, there’s no reason to get upset. We all have our vices for that from time to time.
Rather than scold him for that, perhaps you can explore how you can indulge in some escapism together.
Maybe there are some sexy outfits he sees on Instagram that you could wear for him. Perhaps there’s some roleplay you’d be happy to engage in. Have you watched adult movies together? Maybe this is something you’d both like to try? Use his habit as a conversation starter to improve your relationship, not a reason to get mad at him.
19. Praise Him
If your husband responds well to your talk about this topic and agrees to a compromise regarding this behavior, praise him! Treat him like a king. This will inspire him to keep it up.
20. How To Tell If Your Husband Has A Problem?
We haven’t discussed the real problem of adult movie addiction yet. If he refuses to compromise on this issue or simply can’t stop looking at other women online, there’s a chance he’s an addict. As with any other addiction, he’ll need your support to overcome it, not your shame.
Frequently Asked Questions About Why Men Look At Other Women Online
Let’s round off this guide with the answers to frequently asked questions on this topic.
What To Do When Your Husband Looks At Other Woman
If you catch him ogling another woman in real life, you’re within your rights to call him out on it. Plenty of women would find that disrespectful.
How Do You Tell If Your Husband Is Attracted To Another Woman?
There are plenty of signs that will reveal this. Click the link to check out my list of CLEAR signs your husband has a crush on another woman.
What To Do If You Catch Your Husband Checking Out One Particular Woman Online?
This might set more alarm bells ringing if you regularly catch him checking out one woman, especially if it’s a person who is a part of your husband’s life.
However, the same principles as mentioned above would apply to deal with this issue.
Talk about the matter calmly, explain how it makes you feel, ask him why he does it and try to reach a compromise where you can both move forward with your marriage without feeling resentful.
Related Content: When Your Husband Defends Another Woman
How Can I See What My Husband Is Looking At On The Internet On His Phone For Free?
I’ve seen adverts for products which supposedly track other people’s online communications and their internet history. However, I can’t recommend such things, since I’ve never tested them for myself.
Before you make such a move, I’d ask how you felt if your husband spied on you in this manner. Perhaps this could cause more arguments than it solves.
Why My Husband Looks At Other Females On Instagram
Instagram is the social media platform which is perhaps best-known for women posting thirst-traps.
If he’s following certain women posting provocative photos, it doesn’t necessarliy mean he’s lost interest in you.
Usually, it’s as simple as that men like to spend time looking at the female body. That’s the truth!
Still, you now have a step-by-step guide for how to act if you don’t like it.
Why My Husband Looks At Other Females On Facebook
Facebook is more of a platform for connecting with old friends or chatting about shared interests in groups than anything else.
If he’s spending time looking at other women on Facebook, it could be that she’s an old friend or it might be that he appreciates her body.
Either way, you now have a guide for how to react.
My Husband Looks At Other Females On Tiktok
As you scroll through TikTok, the algorithm will present new creators on his screen. If he’s a male, the chances of an attractive woman appearing in his feed are extremely high.
Signs My Husband Wants Another Woman
If your husband looks at other women online, that isn’t a reilable sign he wants another woman. For more reliable indiactors, see my list of Signs Your Husband Doesn’t Find You Attractive Any More.
Any More Questions?
Thanks for reading my guide. I hope you now have a deeper understanding of how the male mind experiences sexual attraction.
If you have any questions on this topic, feel free to leave a comment below.
It would be great to hear from you.