In my life coaching sessions, it is reasonably common that a client tells me something along the lines of “my husband misinterpets everything I say”.
Sometimes it’s someone’s boss or best friend who misinterprets everything. It could be a man or a woman.
Either way, there are several tips that can help you handle these types of scenarios better.
You’ll find some useful advice about this situation below.
Let’s dive in:
1. Accept That Misunderstandings Happen In Life
It can often feel so annoying when your husband misinterprets everything because you think he’s doing it on purpose. That’s not always the case though.
Get in the habit of considering your husband innocent until proven guilty.
2. Explain Things Clearly
We’ll explore what to do if your husband misinterprets everything deliberately later on…
However, you can aid the situation either way by explaining yourself clearly.
Your words matter. Speak in a way that can’t be misinterpreted. Try to avoid explaining things in as few words as possible. An extra moment of explanation can save a lot of trouble.
3. Don’t Expect Him To Read Behind The Lines
Women tend to be more socially savvy than men. They are naturally very good at reading sub-communications.
Men typically aren’t as good as women at that. They would prefer you explain exactly what you want without expecting him to read between the lines.
4. Try To Understand Where He’s Coming From
Before you lose your temper, use your head and try to understand why your husband may have misunderstood you.
If you’re not sure, ask him: “what made you think I meant it like that?”
This simple action can save you from a heated argument.
5. Encourage Active Listening
At a very basic level, active listening means looking at someone when they’re talking and not interrupting them as they speak. It also means asking questions to get a better sense of what they’re trying to communicate. You can learn more about how to actively listen in this guide.
6. Learn To Be More Patient
Don’t worry! We’ll get to what to do when your husband misinterprets everything deliberately!
Still, you’ll be able to keep your temper with him a lot more easily when you teach yourself to be more patient.
My guide on how to be patient in a relationship is packed with advice about that.
7. Explain How It Makes You Feel When Your Husband Misinterpets Everything
We’ll explore how to do this in a calm way that doesn’t cause another argument later on…
For now, please know that your husband probably doesn’t want to have a fight.
Make it clear how much it frustrates you when he misinterprets something, and you’ll probably find he makes more effort to hear and understand what you’re saying in future.
Try and explain why it upsets you. Does it feel like he’s doing it deliberately to be selfish, nasty or vengeful? Tell him this in a calm way…
It’s possible to do this without having to blame him. Focus on how you feel. If he’s a loving husband, he’ll want to help his wife feel better.
Related Content: TIPS How To Deal With No Emotional Support From Your Husband
8. How To Argue Productively
There are ways to argue which productively, and there are ways likely to cause a bigger fight.
Here are some healthy habits to bear in mind when disagreeing with your husband.
- Criticize the action, not him as a person.
- Don’t change the subject.
- Talk without raising your voice.
- Try not to interrupt.
- Be clear about what you want to happen and why.
- Sandwich your feedback in between two compliments.
9. Don’t Get Too Frustrated About Disagreements
It’s unrealistic to expect to never disagree with your partner, so don’t feel bad about bringing up the fact your husband misinterpets everything. It’s better than bottling up your frustration for months, only to inevitably explode later on.
10. Learn To Forgive And Let Go
Once a conflict has been solved, learn to forgive your husband and let go. It’s good for your relationship and your mental health. It’s also a great way to stop you losing your head if a similar misunderstanding happens again.
11. Ignore The Urge To Punish Your Husband
You might feel the urge to punish your husband for misintepreting what you say, especially if you feel he’s doing it on purpose. Perhaps his actions make you feel the need to prove you’re not a pushover, or as if you have to get revenge for the pain he’s putting you through.
But first, ask yourself: what will this really achieve? Usually, it’ll only start another argument and make your problems worse.
Sometimes, it’s useful for a husband and wife to remember they’re on the same team. They’re both fighting for the same goal: a happy relationship. Find a solution to your problem with this in mind.
Related Content: Reasons Why A Punishment Of Your Husband Isn’t A Good Idea
12. Make Sure You Stick To The Same Conversation Topic
Sometimes, a partner might deliberately misinterpret to deflect away from an uncomfortable conversation. Maybe you’re trying to make a point about one of his weaknesses or trying to blame him for something.
If your husband tries to deflect the conversation, calmly remind him that you want to focus on the topic you brought up for now.
13. If He’s Being Passive-Aggressive, Calmly Call It Out
Are you sure he’s getting the same things wrong just to annoy you? Is it clear he’s misinterpreting your words to get revenge? If so, calmly communicate this.
Remind him that this will do nothing to fix the problem. Tell him you just want to return to a happy relationship.
Most men will respond well to this, provided you remember the earlier tips for a productive argument.
14. Address The Bigger Issues In The Relationship
If you’re getting frustrated with your husband misinterpreting everything – or if he’s doing that as a way of dealing with his frustation – this is normally a symptom of a bigger issue in the relationship.
Perhaps you get so upset about this because you feel like he never puts you first.
Perhaps he’s misinterpreting deliberately because he feels you always try to control him.
If you get to the root of these issues and resolve them, you’ll often find the occasional misinterpetation doesn’t seem like such a huge problem.
15. What Does It Mean When Your Husband Constantly Criticizes You?
If your husband finds fault in everything you do or misinterprets everything to make you feel bad, this is usually a symptom of a bigger issue in the marriage. Maybe he feels insecure, jealous, resentful or unvalued as your partner.
The first step is to communicate and recognize the real issue that’s making your husband act this way. Then, you can begin dealing with the problem. A professional counselor can certainly help to mediate in this situation.
16. Why Does My Husband Turn Everything Around On Me?
If your husband turns things around on you constantly, this could also be a symptom of envy or resentment.
It could be that he’s a narcissist who can’t stand to be proven wrong. It may be that he’s a controlling person. Indeed, controlling behavior is a sign of insecurity in a relationship and could be a common reason why your husband turns things around on you.
My guide on how to talk to a narcissist could prove useful here.
17. What Does It Mean When Your Husband Blames You For Everything?
Blame shifting could be a symptom of insecurity, envy or resentment. It could be a sign that he’s a narcissist who can’t accept he’s wrong, or simply that he has low self-esteem.
Again, the answer is to find the real issue causing the behavior and to tackle that.
18. How Do You Deal With A Husband Who Always Thinks He Is Right?
This is similar to when a husband turns things around on you. It could be due to narcissism, insecurity or low self-esteem.
It’s important to talk to your husband about how this behavior makes you feel. A marriage is supposed to be a team that moves forward together.
The solution is to find the underlying issue of why he can never be wrong, then to address that.
19. My Husband Makes Everything About Him
Is your husband the type of person to make everything about him, no matter what you talk about? Does it feel like he won’t ever listen or consider your feelings? This is one of the clearest signs that he is a narcissistic person. Either that or he doesn’t value your input into the marriage at all. Again, my guide on how to talk to a narcissist is a good starting point.
20. I Can’t Talk To My Husband Without Him Getting Angry
The key to solving anger problems is to resolve the deeper internal issues causing them. My guide on signs a man has anger issues also includes useful steps to fix this problem.
21. Husband Takes Everything As Criticism
If your husband misinterpets everything you say as criticism, this is a clear indicator that he’s insecure in your relationship. If he can’t help but feel attacked, you must take steps to address these insecurities and reassure him of your love.
The tips above about clear and effective communication should help.
It’s not just you to blame for this. He needs to be taking responsibility to boost his own self-esteem. Maybe there’s past trauma he needs to address. Still, a few extra gestures to show your appreciation for your spouse will only serve to aid the situation.
22. Talk To A Relationship Counselor
Don’t be afraid to seek professional help to overcome your marriage trouble.
A relationship counselor will be used to married couples coming to them with problems such as: “My husband misinterprets everything I say.”
These relationship experts are trained to mediate disputes between couples, listen to both arguments and recognize the underlying problems causing the conflict. They’re trained to communicate in a way that makes you both comfortable communicating your feelings with total honesty.
One of the best things you can do to solve a dispute with your partner is to seek advice from these professionals. They won’t favour one partner over the other. They’ll be able to help you introduce clear communication into your marriage.
As a certified life coach, I don’t have a bad word to say about this service.
If you’re interested in learning more about marriage counselling, click to check out my extensive guide.
My Husband Misinterpets Everything I Say: Any More Questions?
Thanks for reading my extensive guide on “My husband misinterprets everything I say.” I hope it made sense.
Let me finish by saying: both halves of a couple have to accept responsibility to fix their relationship. If one person thinks it’s just the other person to blame, nothing will be resolved. Hopefully, you can get your partner on board to want to fix this issue.
If you’d like an answer to a question or to share an idea on this topic, feel free to type a message in the comments section.
It would be great to keep talking about this subject. I want to hear what you have to say. So, write your message below and I’ll do my best to provide a solution.