21 CLEAR Signs You Really Hurt Him (2024)

Not sure if you hurt a guy’s feelings? Want to know how he feels about you? This guide lists the 21 telltale signs you really hurt him.

In my role as a life coach, I am often helping clients better understand the behaviors of those closest to them. 

That’s why I’m excited to share this guide with you. 

So, let’s dive in. 

How Do You Know If You Hurt A Guy’s Feelings?

It is common for men to hide their true feelings when they’ve been hurt by a woman. This is because men are often told it’s weak to feel pain or show it, especially in front of other women.

While it’s not conducive to a healthy relationship for men or women to spend time hiding their true feelings from each other, it happens.

As a woman, it’s therefore useful to be able to read the signs you really hurt him. That way, you can begin making moves to fix the problem. 

Below, you’ll find a list of 21 telltale signs that a man is hurt emotionally. These are categorized into different types of emotional pain, although truthfully men tend to react similarly regardless of the exact reason why their feelings are hurt.  

Signs A Man Is Hurt Emotionally

1. You Can See It In His Eyes

He might deny his pain and try to hide it in his body language, but if you can make eye contact, you’ll usually be able to notice if something is wrong.

2. He Stops Talking To You

One of the most obvious signs he really hurt you is when he refuses to talk to you. It might be that he wants to get over his pain before talking with you about the problem, or perhaps he decided to punish you with his radio silence.

3. Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Passive-agressive behavior is one of the biggest signs that someone is hurt, but they don’t want you to know. Examples of passive-aggessive behavior include sarcastic comments, changing their tone of voice, ‘accidentally’ forgetting to do you a favor or deliberately doing it wrong.

Signs You Really Hurt Him
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4. Depressing Posts On Social Media

Keep an eye on his social media accounts for telltale signs that he’s upset. If he’s making posts that are more miserable than usual, that’s a clear sign of bad feelings. If he’s making an extra effort to appear super-happy, that is an even bigger (and arguably more depressing) sign that something is wrong.

5. He Tries To Numb Himself

If he engages in bad habits like drinking, taking drugs, over-eating, watching adult movies or playing video games even more than usual, it’s likely he’s trying to escape from bad feelings. Most likely, he’s having such a hard time, he can’t even bear to be alone with his negative thoughts. 

6. He Tells You

Out of all the signs you really hurt him, this is the most obvious. It takes a lot of bravery for a man to do this and it saves you from a lot of guessing, so you should respect that he had enough power to do so.

Signs You Hurt His Pride

Pride isn’t the healthiest of emotions. It’s pretty much based on just a pure desire to look cool in front of other people. Still, like it not, we all have an element of pride within us. If you hurt someone’s pride in the past, there’s a good chance you’re no longer friends now, especially if this person had low self-esteem.

With that said, let’s look at some of the biggest telltale signs you hurt a man’s pride. 

7. He Gets “Triggered”

This has become a psychology buzzword in recent times. When someone massively over-reacts to a seemingly meaningless comment, they are said to be “triggered”. It’s called this because the comment is believed to have “triggered” a hidden trauma within them.

8. He Stops Talking About That Topic

If you hurt his pride during a conversation about a certain topic, it’s common that he’ll avoid bringing it up again and desperately try to change the subject when you do it. That bruised pride damaged his self-esteem enough the first time around. 

9. He Over-Corrects

Hurt pride can be an effective catalyst for self-improvement. Let’s say you made a comment about him being out of shape; perhaps this inspires him to spend all his free time working out, such is desperation to not be seen the same way by you again. Perhaps he won’t stop until he has changed forever. 

It’s also possible that he over-corrects deliberately as a way of proving a point that he was fine before. This is an immature way to react to hurt pride, but perhaps it’ll end up doing him some good in the long run.  

10. Fake Smile

A lot of men are embarrassed to admit that their pride has been hurt. The forced smile and overly positive behavior are therefore a common side-effect of it.

Signs You Hurt His Ego

If you say or do something that doesn’t paint him in the best light, it can hurt a man’s ego. Here are the most common signs you’ll see from him if you’ve done so. 

11. He Argues His Point Ferociously

If a person makes a point that hurts someone else’s ego, that hurt person will often argue back as if their life depends on it. Often, their entire sense of identity might depend on being right in that argument. In such a case, they will defend their opinion even if it means completely  abandoning logic and reasoning.

12. He Demands An Apology

Following on from the last point, the man with a hurt ego will demand an apology from his opponent, even if that person has conceded the battle. To fix their bruised ego, they need the ego high of officially being right. 

13. He Stops Inviting You Out With His Friends

If you hurt a man’s ego in front of his friends, you can often expect not to be invited to hang out with him and those friends again, such is his fear of having his ego destroyed in front of them for a second time.

14. He Blocks You On Social Media

If you’re in a romantic relationship and he blocks you on social media, that’s a reliable sign that you’re no longer going to be an item. In fact, this is one of the signs that you’re no lnoger friends, even.

Still, if you’re just friends and he blocks you, this is an indicator of a bruised ego, especially if he’s often posting about the thing that you hurt him about.   

Related: Letter To Boyfriend Expressing Hurt Feelings

Signs You Broke His Heart

At some point in your love life, you’re probably going to experience a broken heart. You might never feel pain in the same way as your first heartbreak. Most people who have suffered the awfully hard feelings that come with a heartbreak will do their best to not make anyone else feel like that. But it does happen.

Here are the clearest signs you have destroyed the heart of someone in close contact with you.  

15. He Completely Cuts You Out Of His Life

Funnily enough, this is one of the clearest signs you really hurt him. Indeed, if he engages the no-contact rule, that’s also one of the top signs you broke his heart. You’re not “just an ex”. For now at least, he needs you completely erased from his life to get over this broken heart.

If you’re looking for more articles on this topic, try this past guide I wrote on How Does A Guy Feel When You Block Him or this one on How To Initiate Contact After A No Contact Period.

16. He Bounces Into A Rebound Relationship

Some guys bounce immediately to the next girl in a bid to avoid the pain caused by a failed relationship. 

This isn’t always the sign of a broken heart though. It might just be that their self-esteem is too low for them to enjoy being single. In such a situation, you’ll often find guys bouncing from one girl to the next instead of healing from the pain of losing previous relationships. 

If he doesn’t jump into new relationships, you might find he ends up in no-strings attached arrangements with several other girls. That’s presuming he’s attractive enough to live his dating life this way. 

Either option is nothing more than a method of avoiding their true feelings about a break-up. 

17. He Doesn’t Date Anyone For A Long Time

Has he completely stopped dating? That’s a much healthier reaction to a broken heart when a man recognises his own suffering and stops spending time looking for new relationships until his pain has healed.

18. He Has Less Energy

Studies have shown that a broken heart has physical symptoms. It can cause physical discomfort, ruin their appetite or result in a person losing sleep. This can destroy the energy of even the healthiest human beings. It’s really not great for their overall well-being. 

19. He Hasn’t Been Seen Out By Anyone  

Heartbroken guys might not feel like going out and socialising for a few weeks, even with their best friend. He’s essentially a wounded animal at this point and needs some time alone to recover.

20. He Reaches Out

When a heartbroken man isn’t strong enough to accept a break-up, he’ll often resort to desperate reconciliation attempts. Drunk calls are common or (god forbid) turning up at your front door with a teddy bear and your favorite food. Try to let him down gently if this happens to you. At the same time, make it absolutely clear that you want to stop dating.

Related: The Infinite Power Of Silence After A Breakup

21. He Tries To Get Revenge

It’s nasty when an ex-boyfriend tries to get revenge to heal his hurt feelings, but it does happen. It might be that he talks badly about you behind your back or in aggressive late-night drunk calls. Perhaps it might be something more sinister. Needless to say, an ex-boyfriend would only do this if he’s really hurt. 

What To Do When You’ve Hurt Him?

Let’s assume you want ro repair the relationship, or at least help him to get over this pain. In such a case, a great first step is to sincerely apologise for hurting his feelings and show a pure desire to fix things.

Hurt Him
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Even if you think he’s silly or weak for feeling hurt by whatever happened, it’s not going to help to mention that. 

Presuming you want to remain as his partner/best friend or whatever relationship you have, it’s best to take the blame for upsetting him and insist it won’t happen again. If he respects you at all, he’ll accept a portion of the responsibility too. Let’s hope he apologises for any over-the-top reaction that he may have engaged in.

Hopefully, there will be no hard feelings and you two can move forward with your relationship, instead of dwelling on the past.

While perfect fairytale relationships sound nice, this is real life and you’re going to hurt each other occasionally. The key is to move past that with minimal long-term resentment. That’s what’s best for the well-being of your relationship.      

Frequently Asked Questions About The Signs You Really Hurt Him

Let’s round off this article with some answers to frequently asked questions about the signs you really hurt him.

Do Guys Ignore You When They Are Hurt?

It’s common for guys to ignore you when they are hurt because they don’t want you to see them in a moment of weakness. A lot of men are taught that it’s weak to show your hurt feelings to a woman.

It might be that he wants to wait until he has pulled himself together before he discusses how you made him feel. That’s actually an emotionally mature move that will help to prevent further conflict between you. 

With that said, he might also choose to ignore you as a way of punishing you for hurting his feelings. This is incredibly immature and likely to put more strain on your relationship.  

Related: 50+ Signs He Knows He Hurt You & Feels Guilty

How Do You Know If A Guy Is Damaged?

Damaged is a harsh term to use to describe someone affected by emotional trauma. After all, we are arguably all affected by this to some extent.

The best way to know a man’s behavior is being impacted by emotional trauma is to talk to him about his past. Discover what hardships he’s been through in a previous romantic relationship or with his parents.

Once you’re aware of these painful experiences, it becomes easier to spot if they’re playing a role in his current actions. It still takes a fairly deep understanding of psychology to understand when someone is being run by their pain body though.

The best way to understand one’s inner self is to work with a therapist or a life coach. These professionals are trained to understand their own feelings on a deeper level. Many of these professionals specialise in working with couples too.  

Any More Questions About The Telltale Signs You Really Hurt Him?

Thanks for reading my guide. I hope you can repair your relationship with the man in your life, with the help of this list of important signs you really hurt him.

If you have a question about one of the signs, getting over an argument or how to deal with an ex-boyfriend, feel free to ask it in the comments below. If you just want to share your feelings about the article, the comments section is great for that too. 

Either way, it would be brilliant to hear from you.

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About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.