This guide explores the idea of ‘true love is when he ignores you’.
It’s somewhat of a popular cliche, but it makes no sense in real life.
Below, you’ll discover what makes a man ignore women they like and what to do when a guy you like ignores you.
Most importantly, you’ll find out why it’s not true love when a guy ignores you.
In my role as a life coach, I am regularly helping clients better understand themselves and those closest to them.
That’s why I’m keen to share this guide with you.
Let’s dive in.
Why Do Men Ignore The Person They Love?
Here are the two most common reasons why guys may ignore the person they supposedly love.
It could be that he’s playing ‘hard to get’ to entice a woman he’s not in a relationship with, or maybe he’s upset with the woman he is in a relationship with.
What Does It Mean When He Purposely Ignores You?
He’s trying to get your attention or change your behavior towards him – and it can work.
People don’t like when their love interest ignores them, so they might change their behavior to win that person’s attention back.
Can Someone Who Loves You Ignore You?
Although it’s a somewhat effective strategy to change the behavior of the person you love, the silent treatment certainly isn’t a clear sign of affection.
If it’s ‘true love’, this guy would surely struggle to ignore you for any significant amount of time.
Psychology Of Ignoring Someone You Love
The psychology of ignoring someone you love surrounds the idea of ‘punishing’ behavior that we don’t like.
So, if a guy’s crush isn’t responding well to his attention, he might try playing hard to get instead.
If a man’s wife is withholding sex, he might try to ignore her to get what he wants.
But, if you think it’s right to punish someone you love, you’ve got the wrong idea of what true love is.
This isn’t the key to a healthy relationship at all. If you’re playing games like this in your romantic relationships, it’ll usually encourage the other person to do the same.
Now, you’ve got two lovers ignoring each other instead of making each other happy.
If you’re unhappy with how you’re being treated by someone you care about, the best solution is to talk about it and hopefully reach a compromise.
Do Guys Test You By Ignoring?
Yes, a man can test how much a woman cares about him by ignoring her. It could be argued that if she truly cared, she would fight to regain his attention.
But again, this isn’t the way to create a healthy and trusting relationship.
A man can measure a woman’s feelings by talking to her and he’ll save a lot of his precious time this way too.
How Do You Treat A Man That Ignores You?
Below, I’ve listed 11 ideas for what to do when a guy ignores you. Consider it a step-by-step guide. Start with the first suggestion and work your way down if he keeps ignoring you.
The list assumes that this is someone you have strong feelings for, or at least want to remain in contact with.
So, let’s dive in.
1. Start A Conversation
If you think this guy is constantly ignoring you, start a conversation with him. Ideally, you’ll be able to talk face-to-face, rather than sending missed calls or text messages.
Maybe he’ll treat you like a best friend once you meet him – and you’ll realize that him ignoring you was all in your head. If he gives you the cold shoulder or he’s not interested in talking to you, at least you’ll know you’re not imagining things.
You might be tempted to ignore the guy who ignores you – and try to win this battle of nerves. But no-one wins when men and women play these mind games. It’s better to be the bigger braver person who breaks the silence, so you two can explore what’s really going on.
2. Ask Him: “Are You Ignoring Me?”
When you straight-up ask if he’s ignoring you, he has two options.
He can deny it, in which case you’ll explain why his recent behavior has made it seem like he’s ignoring you.
Or he’ll admit it and you can talk about why he’s decided to ignore you.
Either way, that’s progress.
3. Explain That It Hurts Your Feelings When He Ignores You
You don’t need to get too emotional or try to make him feel guilty about ignoring you. Simply make it clear that it hurt your feelings when he gave you the silent treatment.
If it’s ‘true love’, he won’t want to hurt your feelings like that again.
4. Ask What You Did Wrong
Again, you don’t need to get angry or emotional. You just need to find the truth about why he’s ignoring you.
It takes some self-confidence to ask this question and deal with the answer, as you’re essentially inviting criticism.
But it’s better than being left to wonder about the many reasons he might give for ignoring you and the different things that could have annoyed him.
In some cases, he won’t give you the real reason, especially if he realizes he made a mistake by ignoring you. Instead, he’ll rattle off the classic excuses. The most common ones that most men give include: he has a busy life, he has been feeling bad, he forgot to call you back etc.
It doesn’t really matter if he does this. It only matters that you repair your relationship and improve your communication moving forward.
5. Tell Him He Doesn’t Need To Play Games
Sometimes, a guy will ignore a woman because he’s afraid of true intimacy.
If a man is scared of being hurt by his lover, he’ll often protect himself by never truly giving himself to her. This is particularly common if a guy has been hurt in his previous relationship or he has the avoidant attachment style.
You can avoid this situation with your true love by assuring him he doesn’t need to play hard to get. Say those exact words. Convince him he has nothing to be afraid of.
My guide on how to communicate with an avoidant can help women progress in this type of relationship.
6. Earn His Trust
Sometimes, a guy will ignore his love interest because he’s going through a tough time and is afraid to share his feelings with her. Indeed, a lot of guys are taught that they shouldn’t talk with their partner when they feel sad or upset. They’re often told to deal with their problems themselves, although it’s widely agreed that this advice is part of ‘toxic masculinity’ culture.
The best way to earn a man’s trust is to be vulnerable with him first. Share your feelings with him and trust him to keep your secrets. Hopefully, he’ll find the courage to do the same with you instead of ignoring you whenever he feels down.
7. Make It Clear That Your Relationship Won’t Work If He Ignores You
If you’ve reached out to him and he continues to ignore you, it’s worth spelling it out that your relationship won’t work in these circumstances. You don’t need to get emotional or threaten him. Simply make it clear that a relationship between you two won’t work if he continues to spend all his time ignoring you.
8. Give Him Space
Once you’ve made this ultimatum, the next step is to give him space. This is a matter of self-respect. You’ve told him what you need. Now, you need to wait and see if he’ll reach out and give it to you. A relationship is a two-way street, after all.
9. Hang Out With Friends And Family
This is an important step for everyone, but especially for those who are heart-broken or unhappy with their relationship. By spending time with friends and family members, you remind yourself how people will treat you when they truly love you. It’s easy to forget this if you only spend time with a man who ignores you.
10. Live Your Own Life
It’s no good for your mental health for you to wait by the phone and hope this guy calls. It’s much healthier for you to get out there and enjoy yourself without him. Hang out with your friends, keep busy and stop thinking about this guy for a while.
11. Have No Regrets If He Continues Ignoring You
If this guy continues to ignore you after you’ve taken all these steps, it’s clear he’s no longer interested in a relationship with you. Maybe he was never interested in a relationship!
Either way, you know the truth now. You made all the steps to test whether he was interested, so you should move on without any regrets. A woman with any sense of self-worth would forget about him and move on with her life.
A lot of men tend to turn completely cold when they’ve lost interest in a woman. Perhaps this is because they don’t want to hurt their feelings. Maybe it’s so they can leave the door open for a casual encounter later on. Either way, a woman with any sense of self-esteem won’t entertain such an encounter.
At this point, it should be clear that this guy isn’t interested and he definitely isn’t your true love. He might have been the most important person in your life, but he doesn’t feel the same way about you. To say that ‘true love is when he ignores you’ after witnessing these warning signs would make you a woman in denial.
Once you’ve closed the door, keep it closed. Now, it’s your turn to ignore him.
How To Get His Attention When He Ignores You
You can’t force a man to give you his attention, but these steps are your best shot at strengthening your relationship.
As tempting as it might be to ignore the man who’s ignoring you, that isn’t the most effective path to a happy relationship.
Sometimes, you need to be the bigger person and make the first move to patch things up and create the committed relationship you want.
However, once you’ve made that move, it’s up to the guy to show he feels the same way. If this person sees the good in you, he will make an effort to talk and progress the relationship.
Best of luck!
Any More Questions About What To Do When A Man Ignores You?
Thanks for reading my guide. I hope you have a better understanding of why men ignore women, what to do in this situation and what ‘true love’ really is.
If you’d like to ask a question or share some final thoughts on this topic, take a moment to leave a comment in the box below.
I’d be interested to talk further about this matter – and it would be great to hear from you.