50+ Signs He Knows He Hurt You & Feels Guilty (2024)

Romantic relationships are not always roses and rainbows and butterflies in the stomach. Sometimes those that love you most will hurt you the most. And relationships are often where you get hurt or let down the most. 

But it’s human to make mistakes. So if your man has hurt you, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a bad guy.

That said, what matters is how he handles the damage he’s caused. Does he take full responsibility for his actions, or does he just ignore the problem, hoping it will go away?

In this article, we’re going to talk about the most obvious signs he knows he hurt you and feels guilty for it. Let’s dive in.

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Do Guys Feel Guilty for Hurting You?

Guys are human beings too. Of course, they feel guilty when they hurt someone they care about. Most of them don’t want to hurt you on purpose but somehow end up hurting you anyway. 

That’s often because they don’t know how to communicate, they’re either scared of commitment or they’re insecure about themselves. 

Most men will want to work on their issues if they truly love you and they will do everything in their power not to hurt you again.

Unfortunately, there are other men who are not willing to process these regretful emotions and possibly don’t even feel guilty for causing you pain. 

That’s why you need to learn to recognize the men that are worth your time and stay away from those that hurt you on purpose. 

50+ Clear Signs He Knows He Hurt You and Feels Guilty

Here are 50+ most obvious signs he knows he hurt you and is feeling guilty now. 

1. He’s Constantly Trying to Talk to You

If a guy is feeling guilty, he will constantly try to talk to you to see if you’re angry at him. That usually means he regrets hurting you and wants to make amends. If you want to fix things, tell him how you feel and see if you can work things out.

2. He’s Showering You With Gifts

Another way to tell if he regrets hurting you is if he starts showering you with gifts. He may try to win your trust back with meaningful gifts or show you how much he loves you with grand gestures. It’s up to you to decide on the next step.

3. He Gets Extra Lovey-Dovey

When he gets extra lovey-dovey, that means he knows he hurt you and feels guilty about it now. All those kisses, cuddles, and hugs mean that he truly regrets hurting you and wants to show you he loves you.

4. He Chooses His Words Carefully

If he’s extra careful with the words he uses when he talks to you, it means he knows he hurt you and doesn’t want to repeat the same mistakes again. That’s why he chooses his words carefully and wisely.

5. He Tiptoes Around You

When a guy feels guilty, he will start tiptoeing around you to avoid getting into another heated argument. But if you want to have a healthy relationship, you shouldn’t ignore the elephant in the room and learn to communicate with each other.

6. He Is Doing Everything in His Power to Avoid Another Argument

Besides tiptoeing, he may also go even further to avoid getting into another argument. He may try to change his behavior altogether or become more open to changing himself. The bottom line is he will go above and beyond not to hurt you again.

7. He Express Sudden Interest in Your Hobbies

If he suddenly starts showing interest in your hobbies, it’s probably because he feels guilty for hurting you. This will be particularly obvious if he’s never been interested in your hobbies before.

8. He Apologizes for Hurting You

Mature men know how to apologize for their mistakes. So if you’re dealing with a mature guy, he will probably tell you loud and clear that he is sorry for hurting you. This is a good sign because it means he knows how to communicate and is not afraid of being wrong.

9. He Tells You He Doesn’t Deserve You

Signs He Knows He Hurt You
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Another obvious sign that he feels guilty is when he tells you he doesn’t deserve you. He probably means it and wants you to know that he is very lucky to have you. That being said, actions speak louder than words. He should treat you right if he thinks you’re a gift in his life.

10. He Tries to Make You Feel Better

When a man loves you, he doesn’t want you to feel sad. So if he does something to hurt you, that will probably crush him and he will go above and beyond to make you feel better. 

He’ll make a fool of himself to make you smile. He’ll shower you with gifts. He’ll tell you the nicest things. These are all signs he’s very sorry for hurting you.

11. He Listens to You More Carefully

If he feels guilty, he will try to make amends. One of the most common ways to do this is to be more present at the moment and give you all his attention. He will listen to you more carefully and enjoy every second with you.

12. He Gets Defensive

Everyone is different and everyone deals with emotions differently. Your boyfriend may be the type to get defensive when he knows he’s guilty. He probably doesn’t know how or doesn’t want to apologize. So he is the type to go about it in a different way; he may become defensive and isolated.

13. He Shuts Down

Some guys will shut down and become much more distant when they feel that they’ve let you down. If you know your guy deals with confrontation by shutting down, this will probably be his response to feeling guilty.

14. He Learns His Lesson

If your boyfriend realizes how much he hurt you, he will probably feel guilty for it. If he’s the more self-aware type, he will definitely step back and reflect on the entire situation. All this self-reflection will make him understand what he did, he will learn his lesson and probably never hurt you again.

Related: Letter To Boyfriend Expressing Hurt Feelings

15. He Tries to Do Better

When a guy is ready to work on himself and make amends, it makes all the difference. So if your boyfriend tries his best to do better next time and treat you how you deserve to be treated, he feels guilty and won’t probably repeat the same mistakes again. 

16. He Spoils You

Another sign he knows he hurt you and feels guilty for it is when he spoils you. Whether that’s with small acts of service, breakfast in bed, or grand gestures, he will want to spoil you to make up for what he did.

17. He’s Quieter Than Usual

If he’s not the quiet type but becomes suddenly too quiet and calm, he definitely knows he did something wrong. He might be still processing his emotions and trying to find a way to make amends, but you can rest assured he knows he hurt you.

18. He’s More Romantic Than Usual

Even if he’s not the romantic kind, he might change that about himself if he feels guilty for hurting you. So if your boyfriend starts surprising you with romantic surprises all of a sudden, this is a sign he knows what he did.

19. He Plays the Victim

Some people are great manipulators. They always play the victim and blame you for their own poor behavior. He might try to convince you that you’re the one to blame, tell you you’re wrong, or gaslight you. Those are all signs he knows he hurt you and is not able to take responsibility for his actions.

Signs a Guy Knows He Messed Up

20. He Tries to Make You Laugh

If your boyfriend truly loves you, he doesn’t want to see you sad. So if he’s the one who messed up and made you feel that way, he will go all out to fix that. He will make a fool of himself in front of you, tell you jokes, and send you funny pictures to make you laugh.

21. He Makes Promises He Will Change

The first thing he will probably do when he realizes how much he hurt you is tell you that it won’t happen again. He will make promises that he will change. What matters is if he will own up to his mistakes and truly amend his behavior. 

22. He Is Overly Honest

To make up for what he did, he will become too honest and open up to you more. In return, he will not talk about his betrayal whatsoever. He will change the subject completely but talk more openly about other things. 

23. He Takes Full Responsibility for His Actions

The most honorable thing he can do is take full responsibility for his actions and own up to his mistakes. That’s a clear sign he knows he messed up and wants to do well by you.

24. He Initiates Fights and Lets You Yell at Him

He might try to initiate more fights with you so that you can yell at him and let it all out. This is because he thinks you will feel better, therefore he will feel less guilty for hurting you.

25. He Is Insecure About You

Boyfriend Feeling Guilty For Hurting You
Photo by Duminda Perera on Unsplash

Hurting someone you love, especially if it’s the first time you did anything similar, is tough. You lose their trust. You start to worry about the morality of your actions. Are you a bad person? All these are signs he is insecure about your relationship and feels guilty for hurting you

26. He Looks Miserable

When you’re in a healthy romantic relationship, you never want to hurt your loved one. But somehow it still happens. So if your boyfriend did something to hurt you, he will be completely depressed and miserable about it.

27. He Doesn’t Rush You to Forgive Him

A mature man will understand that forgiveness takes time. If he knows he messed up, he will give you all the time you need to forgive him and learn to trust him again.

28. He Takes on More Responsibility Around the House

You can tell that your boyfriend feels guilty for hurting you when he starts doing more chores and helping you around the house. Even if you share all those responsibilities equally, he might take on even more shores to make up for what he did.

29. He Texts and Calls More

Another sign he knows he messed up is when he starts texting and calling more than usual. He wants to check up on you and see if you’re doing better. This is his way of saying sorry.

30. He Wants to Make Sure You’re Okay

Whether that’s by text, calls, or in person, he will want to make sure you’re doing well. He doesn’t want you to suffer. He regrets hurting you and wants to do everything in his power to make you feel better.

31. He Puts on a Cute Face

He might also try to make you feel better by giving you the puppy face and putting on a cute face. Of course, this will only work if his betrayal wasn’t that bad. 

32. He Cooks for You

If his love language is food, he will cook for you and spoil you with delicious meals. It’s his way of cheering you up.

33. He’s All About Grand Gestures

Grand gestures are a common sign he knows he messed up. So if he starts surprising you with weekend getaways or expensive trips, not only does he regret hurting you, but he also wants to cheer you up.

34. He Wants to Travel With You

Trips are the best way to take your romantic relationship out of a rut. It’s also a sign he knows he hurt you and wants to start fresh.

35. He’s Nicer to Your Friends

He may try to win your love back by being nicer to your friends and inviting them over more frequently. He’s hoping this will make you eventually realize that he is sorry for his actions and win you back that way.

36. He Talks About Your Future Together

He may get scared of losing you so he will start talking about your future together more and more. He’ll bring up kids, marriage, living together; whatever is needed to win your trust back.

37. He Takes Things Less Personally

He will take his guard down when he knows he hurt you. He won’t take things so personally anymore so that you can feel as relaxed as possible around him.

38. He Makes You His Priority

Another sign he is afraid of losing you is when he makes you his top priority all of a sudden. He stops spending so much time with his friends and starts giving you his utmost attention. 

This is not such a healthy way of dealing with relationship problems so it would be best to talk to a certified relationship coach about it.

39. He Can’t Sleep

If he’s losing sleep over you, it’s very obvious he feels guilty and is now miserable. The sooner you talk things through, the better.

40. He Takes Action

The best way to make up for hurting someone is by taking action and doing things differently. If your boyfriend has attachment issues or he’s a cheater, he should consider committing to professional therapy.

Signs He Knows He Lost You

Check out these twelve signs he regrets losing you.

41. He Shares Sad Posts on Social Media

42. He Speaks Highly of You to Your Mutual Friends

43. He Asks His Friends to Reach Out to You

44. He Shows up Wherever You Go

45. He Stalks Your Social Media Accounts

46. He Pretends He Likes Being Single Again

47. He Finds Excuses to Talk to You

48. He Tries to Meet You in Person

49. He Gets Jealous When He Sees You Possibly Starting Over

50. He Wants to Stay Friends With You

51. He Tries to Make You Miss Him

52. He Gets Nervous Around You

Related article: 21 CLEAR Signs You Really Hurt Him

Does a Man Feel Bad When He Hurts You

How To Know If He Feels Guilty For Hurting You
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When a man hurts a woman he loves, he feels awful. He feels bad for hurting the person he loves the most, but he’s also angry at himself for what he did. 

Some men will lean towards redemption, while others might try to gaslight you and manipulate you into forgiving them. It all depends on the guy you’re dating. 

If he’s a nice guy, he will go all out to earn your trust back. If he has a temper, he might try putting the blame on you. 

It’s important to learn to recognize the signs of toxic behavior as soon as possible in a romantic relationship so that you can protect yourself early on. 

However, even if you’re dating the best guy in the entire world, sometimes life just happens. He may betray you or hurt you without even wanting to do it. What matters is how he deals with it later and if he knows how to own up to his mistakes.

Is He Avoiding Me Because He Feels Guilty

If a guy you’re dating hurts you and feels guilty for it, he might not bear being near you because the guilt is too overwhelming. He might avoid you because he feels guilty. 

This is not such a healthy way of dealing with confrontation so if he wants to make your relationship work, he should try to be more mature and learn to take responsibility.

If you realize your ex boyfriend is avoiding you after hurting you, take some time to reflect on your relationship and understand if he’s truly the right guy for you.

How to Make Him Feel Guilty for Hurting You

If he doesn’t feel guilty already for hurting you, it will be hard for him to change. You can’t really make someone feel something that they don’t feel or that doesn’t come naturally to them. 

First of all, ask yourself if this guy is worthy of your time and energy. Does he deserve your attention? Does he deserve that you try to make him feel guilty? 

If you still want to pursue your ‘revenge’ after all that self-reflection, you could try posting happy posts on social media to make him realize what he had lost. 

You could try to throw out everything he ever bought you or even worse, ask a mutual friend to give all of his stuff back to him. This might make him realize that he should have treated you better.

How a Man Feels When He Hurts a Woman

When a man hurts a woman, he feels bad. He feels like he’s made a huge mistake. He gets angry at himself. 

He wants to make amends, but doesn’t know how. Most men will feel desperate after hurting a woman. 

For some men, it takes time and self-reflection to realize that they did the wrong thing. And some (toxic) men never realize that their actions have consequences, so they always place the blame on others.

Related article: How A Man Feels When He Hurts A Woman? 13 Regret Signs

How Do You Tell if He Will Hurt You?

He Knows He Hurt You And Feels Guilty
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You can never know for certain if a guy you just started dating will hurt you, especially if you’re head over heels for him. 

After the honeymoon period, it might become easier for you to recognize red flags and spot toxic behavior. But in general, it’s never easy to tell if a man will end up hurting you. 

The best way to protect yourself is to confide in your close friends. Stay close to them even during the honeymoon stage because they will be able to tell if you’re stuck in a toxic unhealthy relationship. 

They love you and want nothing but the best for you so they will usually spot red flags before you do. 

Don’t isolate them if they try to tell you something bad about your boyfriend. Listen to them and see if there’s something there. 

How Do You Know a Guy Is Sorry for Hurting You?

When a guy is sorry for hurting you, he will tell you he’s sorry for hurting you. Not only will he own up to his mistakes, but he will also take action and make sure it never happens again. 

He will also talk to you directly about your feelings. He will try to make you laugh, make you feel better, and surprise you with gestures of affection. 

If you’re with the right guy, you will be able to go through this challenging period together and come out of it even stronger.

Final Thoughts

Thanks for taking the time to read my article. I hope you found this article helpful and that you’ll be able to recognize the signs he knows he hurt you and feels guilty about it now.

Relationships are emotional rollercoasters, to say the least. And even though your boyfriend loves you, he may end up hurting you.

What matters is whether he knows to own up to his mistakes, take responsibility, and make amends. You deserve to be in a healthy and happy relationship where there’s no pain. So if your man can’t give you peace, he may not be the one for you. 

If you have any additional questions about this topic, I’m here to help!

Don’t hesitate to reach out or leave a comment in the section below. Let me know your thoughts and I hope I hear from you soon!

About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.