How A Man Feels When He Hurts A Woman? 13 Regret Signs (2024)

Want to know how a man feels when he hurts a woman?

Below, you’ll discover the answer to this question, plus 13 signs that this guy regrets his actions.

In my role as a life coach, I am often helping guys and women better understand and collaborate with the opposite sex.

That’s why I was keen to publish this guide. 

So, let’s dive in.  

Signs He Knows He Hurt You

It can be difficult to know if a guy realizes he emotionally hurt you. Some guys might remain poker-faced about it in an attempt to ‘win’ an argument. Some might apologize just to get the argument over with, without realizing why they upset you. Other men might simply be oblivious to other people’s feelings.

With that said, there are signs to help you understand whether a man knows he hurt you. We’ll be focusing on romantic relationships in this guide, although the signs are the same for male friends who have emotionally hurt you.

So, let’s explore 13 of these telltale signs now.

1. He Admits It

The most obvious sign of all. A real man feels guilty for hurting his woman and will admit it the moment he realizes he hurt you. 

How A Man Feels When He Hurts A Woman
Photo By cookie_studio On frrepik

2. He Tries To Make Things Right Immediately

This is the obvious next step if a guy truly values your relationship. He’ll try to amend his errors either by backtracking or making it up to you some other way. 

3. He Asks For Forgiveness

A guy won’t apologize unless he knows he has said or did the wrong thing and hurt you.

4. He Promises To Change  

If a man loves you or cares about you, he’ll do his best to convince you that he won’t do whatever hurt you again. You’ll hear plenty about his commitment to treat you better and  become a better man.  

5. He Expresses Sympathy

An important part of any sincere apology is to show you feel bad for upsetting them. A guy might verbally express this, but you should be able to see this in his body language too. 

6. You Hear Emotions In His Voice

If he apologizes, is it a dead-pan apology with no emotion in his voice. You should be able to hear some sort of anguish or sincerity in his expression. That’s how you know that he’s serious about apologizing.

Related Content: Clear Signs That She Is Scared Of Her Feelings For You   

7. He Tries To Make You Feel Better 

After apologizing, a nice guy will do more to help heal the pain. This might be a simple gesture like making you laugh with his lame jokes, something bigger like buying a gift. If he feels he’s going to lose you, he might even try a desperate move to try and prove his love.   

8. He Rationalizes His Behavior And Make Excuses

This is the opposite path that some guys decide to take after saying or doing the wrong thing. Rather than admit his mistakes and apologize for his behavior, he’ll explain why he was right to do those things. In trying to get his own way, this makes it harder to resolve the conflict, but it still makes the list because he won’t do it unless he realizes he hurt you.

If your partner does this all the time, he may be gaslighting you. This is one of the biggest red flags to avoid when choosing guys to get into a relationship with. 

9. He Checks Whether You’re Feeling OK

Someone who really cares about you will double-check that you’re feeling OK after hurting you. Depending on how severely his actions hurt you, he might continue checking days or weeks after the event. 

10. He Prioritizes You

When someone hurts you, it can make you feel like you’re not important to them. In a romantic relationship especially, a good guy will realize and go the extra mile to prove how special you are to him.

11. He Goes Quiet

This is the most frustrating response to your partner knowing he emotionally hurt you, because this is also what a guy might do if he has no idea he hurt you. Still, it’s true that some guys will turn quiet and seek solitude, because they feel so guilty about hurting you.

Related Content: Do Narcissists Feel Guilt? 4 Key Insights

12. He Tells You To Toughen Up

This is another action that does little to resolve conflict in romantic relationships. He might decide to take this path if he doesn’t want to admit his role in you being upset. On the flip side, he might also truly believe that you need to be less sensitive and stop crying like a little girl. 

13. He Doesn’t Do It Again

This is perhaps the ultimate sign that a guy knows he hurt you. If he really feels bad, he will stop the hurtful behavior. Rather than hearing empty words, you’ll see a noticeable shift in his behavior. 

Related: 43 CLEAR Signs He Caught Feelings For You

Frequently Asked Questions

Let’s round off this article with some eye-opening answers to frequently asked questions about a man’s feelings when he hurts a woman. 

What Makes A Man Hurt A Woman?

In the moment, it might feel like a man hurts you because he doesn’t care about you at all. Perhaps he has low self-esteem and is trying to bring you down to his level of self-hate. But, no matter how much you’re hurting, it’s not always that tragic or immoral.

Oftentimes, a guy might not realize how a woman feels about certain actions, nor that his actions or words are wrong.

It might be that he valued the benefits in his own life over potentially hurting your feelings, and didn’t have the willpower to act selflessly. 

In some situations, if you hurt a man’s feelings, you may have sparked an urge to seek revenge. Again, this occurs due to a lack of will power on his part.

That’s not saying you have to deal with it. If your partner is continuously hurting you and not making a visible commitment to treat you better, you have the power to decide to walk away and find a new relationship.

Staying with a guy who always hurts you can make you feel insecure, ruin your self-esteem and cause low self-worth. In this case, don’t feel bad about trying to forget about this guy. He’s in the wrong. Let the next woman deal with him. Often, that’s the only a bad partner will learn the error of their ways      

Related article: 21 CLEAR Signs You Really Hurt Him

What To Do If A Man Hurts You?

The best course of action is to tell him you’re hurt and explain why. Ideally, you’ll be able to do this in a calm manner without resorting to screaming or insulting him.

A lot of women choose to keep quiet, perhaps due to fear of confrontation, or because they want their partner to understand the problem and fix it without being prompted.

However, the quickest way to overcome this conflict is to explain how you feel. At this point, a good guy will make steps to talk and resolve things. 

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How Do You Make A Man Understand He Hurt You?

It’s as simple as explaining what he did and why you’re upset. The difficult part is doing this without being aggressive towards him.

If you’re interested in resolving your differences, it’s best to avoid aggression. If you’re insulting or belittling your partner during a disagreement, he’s more likely to dig his heels in and become defensive, rather than work to solve the problem. 

Why Do Words Hurt?

Human beings all want to be loved. We all want to be perceived well. When someone says hurtful words, they’re confirming that this isn’t the case. Naturally, this can be upsetting. Even more so if we subconsciously believe the words we hear. 

Related: Letter To Boyfriend Expressing Hurt Feelings

When Someone Says Hurtful Things To You

Your natural reaction might be to hurt them right back. That’s a lose-lose situation. It doesn’t achieve anything positive. Most likely, it’ll spark the conflict even further and make you just as guilty as them in the eyes of others.

A better resolution is to calmly point out that they’re being hurtful. If they’re a good person, they’ll backtrack and try to talk and resolve things. 

Even if they don’t, you maintain your dignity and they look like the guilty party in the interaction. Mutual friends will all know that person was in the wrong. It might take a while, but this person is more likely to reach out to right these wrongs, especially if these mutual friends intervene ine situation.  

This guide should help you react in the right way: Don’t Let People’s Words Affect You

What If A Man Hurts Me Physically? 

There are no excuses for a man physically hurting a woman, other than self-defence. If your partner or any other guy has deliberately hurt you, get out of the relationship at this moment. This is wrong of him and he shouldn’t be able to talk his way out of it. 

Most women who stay with guys like this tend to have very low self-esteem. You deserve better than being in a relationship with a partner who is hurting you physically. No guy or girl deserves this. 

It might be necessary that you talk to the police about his actions too. 

Any Questions About How A Man Feels When He Hurts A Woman?

Thanks for reading my article about what happens when a guy hurts a woman. I want you to realize that most good guys feel bad when hurting their partner. It’s a big deal to us! 

With that said, relationships are so emotionally charged that hurting each other’s feelings is inevitable. True love hurts sometimes. I hope this guide helps you to make your relationship work, no matter what situation you’re in.

If you have a question on this topic, don’t forget to take a moment to leave it in the comments section below. Failing that, feel free to let me know if you want more articles surrounding dating and intimate relationships. 

It will be great to talk further about this subject.

About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.