How To Seduce A Married Man: 21 Proven Tips That Work (2024)

Want to know how to seduce a married man? While it’s not the most ethical practice, this guide lists 21 tips proven to work.

In my role as a life coach, I am often offering advice and discussing certain things regarding marriage, dating and relationships. 

So, let’s dive into this guide.

How To Seduce Married Men: 21 Ideas

The more of these tips you put into action, the better the chance you have of seducing a married man.

1. Subtlety Is Key

Throughout your pursuit of this guy, you need to be subtle. If you’re too forward in your initial steps, it’s going to be too obvious what you’re doing, it’ll ruin the tension and he’ll find it more difficult to justify getting closer to you.  

What’s more, if other people begin to notice the tension between you, they might start gossiping and it could be enough to scare this man away.

So, remain on that line which divides confidence from presumption. 

2. Become His Friend 

Develop a friendship with this guy first. This will help you create innocent-looking reasons to spend time alone with him. What’s more, the qualities that make him want to be your friend will also help make him want to sleep with you. 

3. Find Reasons To Spend Time Alone Together

It’s during this alone time where he’ll feel more comfortable opening up to you. He’ll also feel more comfortable accepting your flirtatious vibe and flirting back, without the fear that someone will notice. 

Essentially, he’ll be more comfortable with everything that happens between you – and that’s a great thing when you’re trying to make a man fall in love with you. 

Seducing A Married Man
Photo by Alexandru Zdrobău on unsplash

4. Listen To Him 

Cheating often occurs when men don’t feel valued in their marriage. So, be a good listener. By becoming that person who appears to listen with genuine interest when he’s talking, he’s going to feel valued by you. This is an important step in your attempts to seduce him. 

5. Tell Him Your Secrets

When you tell any person something sensitive about yourself that others don’t know, it’s a powerful move that’ll usually create a stronger connection between the two of you. As has been proven countless times in human psychology, it’ll likely encourage a man to trust you with his secrets in return.

If you’re in an unhappy relationship yourself, this could be an especially useful secret to stoke the fires of lust between you.

6. Pry Into His Marriage

When you feel he’s close enough to you to tell the truth, ask how his marriage is going. Remember, it’s key to keep your intentions subtle, but if he admits that things aren’t going great, that’s a massive green light for you to keep up your pursuit of this guy.

Related: Clear Signs A Married Man Is Using You & How To Get Over It

7. Be Young At Heart

A common downside of married life is that things become very serious. A husband and wife become too bogged down with household responsibilities to feel young and free at heart. If you can be that adventurous person who makes him smile and reminds him how fun life can be, that can often be very attractive to a married guy.

8. Create In-Jokes

This is something else that serves to boost the connection between you and bring you closer.

9. Wear Skimpy Clothes

Another side-effect of married life is that men and women often stop dressing to impress each other. If you show a little skin around him, this can work wonders and take his desire for you to another level. This is something that men can’t resist in the opposite gender, even if they are married.

This is something that makes men weaker than their female counterparts. You can simply walk past in the right pair of shorts and his desire to talk with you will skyrocket. What’s more, if you feel confident in that revealing outfit, it’s going to make your personality more attractive to the other side in general.

Perhaps you’ll become that person who ruins several long-term relationships with your undoubted attractiveness!   

10. Apply Perfume So You Always Smell Good Around Him

This is another magic trick proven to boost your appeal.

11. Compliment Him

This can be a powerful tip, particularly if his woman has stopped peppering him with compliments. He might be wedlocked, but this guy still wants to feel like a desired married man.

Men want to feel good too! If he’s not being made to feel like that at home, but he is from you, it’s going to stoke his desire even further. 

12. Do Favors For Him

This is another way to make him feel valued, particularly if his wife is only ever asking him to do favors for her.

13. Keep Eye Contact

Don’t underestimate the power of eye contact during the seduction process. You can be talking about the most monotonous subject but undressing him with your eyes, and he’ll usually feel that intimate energy-burning hot inside him.

You can flirt with your body language too, whether that’s standing in a way that shows off your assets or giving his bicep a casual rub. 

14. Make Him Feel Important

If there’s one feeling a man wants to experience, it’s that they’re having a positive impact on their woman’s life. This is a very natural male instinct. 

If he’s not getting that feeling from his wife but he is from you, that’s something else to help him think he wed the wrong woman. Before long, he might want out of his marriage altogether.

There’s an online course called The Hero Instinct by relationship psychologist James Bauer, which teaches women how to unlock this feeling within men. I wrote an in-depth blog post about how women can unlock a man’s Hero Instinct, which you can read if you want to learn more.

15. Don’t Talk About The Stressful Elements Of Daily Life

The key to a successful affair is being the woman that takes him away from the monotony of married life. Let his wife hear those depressing conversations about bills, chores, and his long hours at work. With you, the conversations should be positive, fun, and exciting. Focus on having a laugh and making him smile whenever he is around you. 

16. Don’t Talk About His Kids

If he’s talking about his kids too much, he might be reminded of how an affair would probably demolish his family. It’s better to move the conversation onto more fun topics if you do this. Remember, you’re trying to be his escapism. Only encourage him to talk about his marriage if he’s complaining about his wife’s weak points.  

17. Tease Him

Light-hearted teasing is a fun flirting technique that can make him laugh and encourage him to chase you. Combined with flirtatious arm brushes, lingering eye contact, and suggestive body language, it can drive him wild.  

Related: 140+ Best Seduction Quotes To Fuel Your Relationship

18. Create Physical Tension

The physical tension of “will we, won’t we” is enough to drive most men and women insane with lust. There are plenty of men who have abandoned happy romantic relationships, because other clever women have managed to build up the physical tension to an unbearable level. You can be that clever woman.

The key to building tension is stay subtle. Don’t make it too obvious that something could happen, until you’re in a position where it can happen.

19. Encourage Spontaneity  

Any conversations which encourage the idea of living in the moment and enjoying life while you’re young are great. These can subtly encourage married men to ‘spontaneously’ cheat on their wives.

20. Gain His Trust

This is an essential step to seducing a married man, because he needs to be super-confident that you’re not going to tell anyone what happened. You’ll never get beyond the flirting stage until a guy feels he can trust you. 

21. Create A Scenario Where It ‘Just Happened’ 

The secret to seducing married men is to create a scenario that gives him plausible deniability up until the last second.

If you’ve been sending him flirty texts, then suddenly ask him to meet you in a hotel room, that’s going to be a hard sell. In this situation, he knows he’s on his way to doing a bad thing for a long time. The guilt can take over and dissuade him from taking the leap.

But what if you gave him an innocent reason to be alone somewhere private? A reason that allows him to plausibly deny that he’s traveling for extra-martial intimacy? 

Then you built his desire slowly…

As you talk, you put an occasional hand on his thigh. As you smile, you take a little peek down at his lips. Perhaps there’s a sensual brushing of your bodies as you walk together. With the music hitting the right chords, you grab his hands to show off your dancing skills. Then as you dance, you plant a soft kiss on his neck.

Do this properly and his lust will take over.

Frequently Asked Questions About Seducing Married Man

Seducing a married man
Photo by halayalex on Freepik

Let’s round off this guide with the answers to some frequently asked questions on this topic. 

What Do You Call Someone Who Sleeps With A Married Man?

There are various words that suit that definition including: mistress, adulterer or homewrecker. Perhaps if you’re the wife of that man, you would think of several ruder words to call this woman. 

How Do You Hook A Married Man Up?

If you’re trying to help your wed-locked friend hook up with someone else, the first step would be to take him somewhere that’s full of women with loose morals. From there, it’s about helping him display his attractive traits. Once again though, it would again be worth questioning the morality of your actions before you do anything.  

How Do You Get A Married Man To Chase You?

Even if he’s desperately attracted to you, it might be hard to get a married guy to chase you, because of the guilt he probably feels about wrecking his marriage. 

He also doesn’t want the awkward situation where he’s caught flirting with a woman who doesn’t want him. In the workplace especially, this could lead to a misconduct allegation. Most guys have the good sense not to risk their job and their marriage, no matter how attractive they find you. 

With this in mind, the best way to seduce a married man is to do the chasing yourself.

Still, if you’re hell-bent on having him chase you, it’s definitely necessary to: 

  • Stop pursuing him so aggressively, so he has the space to chase. 
  • Be a high-value woman worth chasing
  • Sprinkle just enough of the flirting tips above into your interactions with him that he feels unable to resist you.  

How Do You Tell If A Married Man Is Trying To Seduce You?

Married men are more likely to be subtle in their attempts to seduce you, because they have a lot more to lose if these attempts are discovered. They need to know you’re on the same page before making any bold moves, otherwise they run the risk of you telling the world what a dirty dog they are.

This guide on Most Effective Ways – How To Seduce Women With Words includes some of the more subtle flirting techniques to look out for.

Better yet, you could react to his supposed seduction by flirting back with him. This will give him the courage to flirt in a more obvious manner until his intentions become undeniable. 

Any More Questions About How To Seduce A Married Man?

Thanks for reading my tips on how to seduce a married man. For what it’s worth, they could probably work to seduce a married woman too.   

I’d like to reiterate that you should question the morality of your actions before you interfere in someone’s relationship. Indeed, a lot of women end up regretting their attempts to seduce a married man. It turns out that ruining a marriage doesn’t feel too fulfilling in the long run. 

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About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.