16 Principles How To Be A High Value Woman In (2024)

Do you want to know how to attract a high-quality man into your life? Of course you do.

But, to attract a high value man, you first have to learn how to be a high value woman.

Here are 13 principles you can apply to your life today.

Let’s dive right in.

#1 Know Your Value

First of all — men don’t get to determine your value. You do.

The truth is, you already are a woman of value — even if you lack confidence in yourself.

Being a woman of value is not about how attractive you are. It’s about your attitude and how you treat yourself and others.

It doesn’t matter if men have treated you as a low value woman in the past. It just means they weren’t the right men for you because they couldn’t see your value. 

If you struggle with low self esteem, try using the affirmation, “I am enough.” 

You can write it out in your journal 50-100 times or stick it on your mirror and repeat it to yourself every day.

#2 Own Your Value

This isn’t about bragging — that impresses no one. In fact, it has the opposite effect. 

When you try to show off by bragging about your achievements, you are seeking external approval and validation. You’re lowering your value by asking others (in this case, a man) to confirm it. 

This means you are putting your value in his hands and letting him decide for himself. And he doesn’t get to do that (see the previous point).

Instead, don’t just talk the talk — walk the walk. Show him, don’t tell him.

The best way to do that is to go on being your awesome self. 

If he’s interested in you, he’ll stalk your social media to find out more about you, and when he does, he’ll be even more impressed by your achievements — and your humility.

Related: Why Do Guys Pull Away Before They Commit

#3 Be Self-Sufficient

Repeat after me — you don’t need a man to complete you. 

You are responsible for your own happiness and wellbeing first and foremost, and a high value woman knows that.

In fact, this is one of the traits of a high value woman that men find irresistible. 

A relationship should be a nice addition to a well-rounded life, not a requirement in order for you to feel happy and fulfilled.

This also goes for your emotional wellbeing. You are responsible for taking care of yourself emotionally, and you can’t expect someone else to do it for you.

how to be a high value woman
Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

#4 Don’t Be Entitled

Men don’t owe women anything. You may have grown up believing that a man “should” do something for you — such as buy you flowers — but really, that’s an outdated belief about gender roles that creates unrealistic expectations. 

A man doesn’t owe you flowers any more than you owe him sex.

That’s why we use dating — to determine which partners will earn certain privileges and which ones don’t.

Through dating, as we get to know each other, we have the chance to prove our value to the other person. 

Believing they owe you something doesn’t make you a high value person — it makes you entitled. And that is not the trait of a high value woman.

Related: How To Communicate with an Avoidant Partner

#5 Set Your Standards High

A high value woman always looks for high value traits in a man.

She knows she doesn’t need a man to take care of her, but she also won’t accept anything less than being treated the way she knows she deserves.

If you set your standards high, you will quickly be able to sort the men who see your value from the ones who don’t.

Men (subconsciously) put women into three categories:

  • Women they’re not interested in.
  • Women they are interested in.
  • Women they are head over heels for (these are the rare ones).

Not all men will see your value, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have it. 

It just means you have to keep looking for the one who sees you as the goddess you are and not settle for anything less.

#6 Demand His Respect

If a man doesn’t see your value, he won’t treat you with respect.

Remember that not all men see the value in all women, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t respect you.

Demand respect from every man you meet. Not all of them will give it to you, so you can weed out the ones who aren’t worth your time.

When a man disrespects you, it hurts. It can even make you doubt yourself as a high value woman.

But don’t let it get you down because he’s actually doing you a favor. By disrespecting you, he’s telling you that you’re not the high value woman he’s looking for.

That leaves you free to keep living your life until the man comes along who will treat you with the love and respect you’ve always deserved.

Related: Push-Pull Relationship – How To Break The Cycle

#7 Maintain an Air of Mystery

When you meet a man you like, it can be tempting to dive right in and get to know each other.

But don’t tell him your life story on the first date.

A high value woman knows that men love to chase a mysterious woman, and she lets him.

If you have plans with your girlfriends when he wants to see you, he doesn’t need to know the details. 

Just tell him you’re busy and let his imagination run wild about all the things you could be doing with your oh-so-mysterious and interesting life.

#8 Set Healthy Boundaries

A high value woman doesn’t let anyone cross her boundaries — especially not a man.

Setting healthy boundaries from the beginning will quickly establish if a man is of high quality or not. 

It’s also one of the best ways to earn his love and respect, so don’t be afraid to be firm with him.

Related: When He Pulls Away Do Nothing

#9 Manage Your Emotions

Does this story sound familiar? You meet a new man, and the two of you go on a date.

It goes great, you find you have a lot in common, and the sexual chemistry is there, so you go on a couple more dates.

You feel excited. You tell your best friend about this guy, maybe even your mom (if you get carried away).

By the third date, you’re sure he’s as into you as you’re into him. You can see this going further; you’re already picturing introducing him to your friends and going on vacation together.

So you tell him how you feel.

The night ends well, but, after the date, his messages become less frequent until he eventually ghosts you.

You’re left wondering what went wrong. 

The answer is — you told him too soon.

This is a psychological trick to keep in mind with men. Because they love the chase, you can’t tell him how you feel about him until he’s already invested in the relationship.

Once he tells you he’s fallen for you, feel free to share your feelings with him. But until then, keep making him work for it and let him make the first move.

Photo by vjpratama from Pexels

Related: Emotionally Unavailable Man Keeps Coming Back

#10 Don’t Validate Him Too Soon

Even if you’re dating an amazing man, a high value woman knows she doesn’t deserve anything less.

Don’t gush over him and his achievements. Respect is a two-way street, but there’s no need to fawn over him.

If he’s that great, women probably do that to him all the time. Be the one that doesn’t, and you’ll rise above the rest in his eyes.

#11 Be Vulnerable

High value women are able to own their vulnerability because they understand it’s a strength, not a weakness. 

Everyone is vulnerable, but most people spend a lot of time and energy trying to look like everything is under control.

What they don’t realize is that vulnerability is attractive.

This doesn’t mean you should overshare or constantly talk about your feelings (a healthy amount of that is good, but there’s a time and a place). 

Being vulnerable means showing the other person who you really are.

This could mean letting out your playful, goofy side.

Or it could be deep conversations in which you share your thoughts on life, the world, and everything in it.

#12 Manage Your Expectations

Not every man you meet is going to be boyfriend material for you.

When you’re dating a new man, don’t immediately start measuring him up against your plans for the future.

Instead, go into it with an open mind and heart and the best of intentions, but without expectations about the end result.

It may be that this relationship doesn’t work out, but something good could come from it anyway.

At worst, you might learn a lesson or two. At best, you could have some fun.

High value women go in without expectations and have enough self love to not take it personally if he’s not the right fit.

Related: 11 Tips How To Give A Guy Space Without Losing Him

#13 Communicate your Expectations clearly

Clear communication is a sing of you being a mature person.

It makes it also easier for others to meet them.

This makes it more likely that you end up happy. 🙂

#14 Remember You Can Always Walk Away

A high value woman knows she always has the power to walk away from the relationship if it no longer serves her.

And she makes sure her man knows that, too.

If he disrespects her or crosses her boundaries, she has the confidence to leave. She knows she’s worth more and can find someone better.

#15 Be Mature About Your Emotions

To show emotions is ok. But don’t overdo it.

In some situations it might be smarter to hide them and to give yourself a little bit more time to process.

Then you can act from a place of awareness instead of impulsive reaction.

#16 Be Reliable

Reliability is key, if you want others to respect you.

Being on time at meetings and sticking to what you have said are important traits you should aim to develop.

Related: Ways To Stop Depending On External Validation

What Makes a High Value Woman?

Being a high value woman has nothing to do with traits like how attractive you are, how much money you make, or how intelligent you are.

What makes a woman high value to a man is emotional intelligence — someone who knows her worth and how to take care of herself, but also knows how to treat her man well.

High Value Woman Boundaries

High value women need to set boundaries. These could include:

Try these boundary-setting exercises to make your own high value boundaries.

Habits of a High Value Woman

High value women know what they want in life and love.

They know they are enough, but they also put in the work every day to be the best possible versions of themselves.

They’re only interested in dating men who recognize their value and don’t let them treat them like anything less than a queen.

Photo by Vinicius Altava from Pexels

How to Be a High Value Woman When He Pulls Away

A high value woman will never act desperate or clingy when a man pulls away. 

You’ll never catch her breaking into his social media accounts to find out who he’s dating. She knows that would give her power away.

Instead, she’ll take the moral high road and surround herself with people and things she loves.

She knows she doesn’t have to make him want to be with her and that the best strategy is to give it time. If it’s true love, he’ll be back.

How to Be a High Value Woman After a Breakup

The best way to be a high value woman after a breakup is to do all the things that put a smile on your face.

This is a good way to forget about him while also showing him you don’t need him.

Don’t go chasing after him or trying to get him back, as he may have already moved on, and it will make you look desperate.

How Do You Become a High Value Person?

Being a high value person is about how you treat yourself and others. 

You have to have the confidence to set good personal boundaries, but you also have to give as much respect as you want to receive and treat others as you would like to be treated.

I hope you enjoyed the 13 principles how to be a high value woman.

Thanks for stopping by and reading my guide. Share this piece with a friend to help them too!

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About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.