This guide on how to seduce women with words is not for creeps.
It’s for genuine guys who are looking for a healthy, loving relationship and want to know how to establish an initial connection with the object of their affection.
If that’s you, read on to discover the 23 most effective ways to seduce the woman of your dreams.
23 Ways to Seduce a Woman With Words
Before we dive into the tips, let me start with a caveat: there is no guarantee this will work.
I know that’s not what you want to hear, but hear me out.
Women are complex beings with their own desires and free will. A woman never owes you anything just because you put a few seduction moves on her.
So, while these strategies will work if she’s into you, you can’t force a woman to be with you.
That said, if you’re ready to seduce a woman with words, read on for my 23 proven strategies.
1. Be Honest and Genuine
Women hate fakeness — they can smell it a mile off. A woman’s experience in the dating world consists largely of men trying to trick and con them into sleeping with them, so they have overdeveloped senses when it comes to spotting a liar.
Plus, what’s the point in being fake if you want someone to like the real you? Lying or not being genuine will get you caught out eventually, and when she catches you, the game will be over.
Not only will she realize you’re not who she thought you were, but you will also lose her trust. It takes courage to be yourself, but she will appreciate you for it.
2. Be Vulnerable
In western culture, we tend to think of being vulnerable as synonymous with being weak — especially for men, who are supposed to be “strong and silent” (this is one of the many ways patriarchy also hurts men).
But according to researcher Brené Brown’s now-legendary Ted talk, it actually takes great strength to be vulnerable. To be vulnerable means to admit to your human shortcomings without wallowing in self-pity or dwelling on negative thoughts.
It’s part self-awareness, part self-compassion, and it’s incredibly attractive to women. An example could be admitting you were nervous before the date. Watch this video to learn more:
3. Pay Her Compliments
Women love to be paid compliments. When complimenting her, keep it varied and specific. Bonus points for creativity!
Try telling her you like the color of her dress, or ask her where her earrings come from. Throughout the conversation, give her compliments based on the things she says. If you like the way she thinks, tell her!
Similarly, make sure to comment on her great taste, viewpoint, sense of humor, intelligence, and bravery. Yes, women are brave too, and they love it when you notice. They don’t want to be treated as fragile.
4. But Don’t Go Overboard
There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Don’t overdo it with the compliments, or you will come across as ungenuine.
Women are aware of their own flaws and imperfections, so treating them like they’re the best thing since sliced bread comes across as a bit too much.
What women really want is for you to see them for who they really are and accept them exactly as they are — with all their strengths and weaknesses.
A little bit of lighthearted teasing can be a nice way to balance out the compliments.
5. Be Empathetic
If you really want to connect with a woman, the best way is to use empathy. Empathy is the act of putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and imagining how they must feel.
Empathy creates connection between people because it recognizes the human experiences that are common to us all yet which make us feel isolated and alone.
So when she tells you a story about something that happened to her — let’s say she accidentally walked out of a shop without paying for something, and they accused her of shoplifting.
Empathy would be saying something like, “You must have been mortified.” This shows that you understand her feelings, making her feel seen and understood.
6. Ask Her About Herself
This might be stating the obvious, but remember to make sure you ask her about herself.
There’s nothing more boring than someone who dominates a conversation, talking nonstop about themselves and not letting the other person get a word in edgewise. And if you want to seduce a woman with words, it’s something you’ll want to avoid.
Plus, people love to talk about themselves, so be an attentive listener to her stories — comment on details and ask follow-up questions.
It doesn’t have to be like an interview, but give her plenty of opportunity to showcase different aspects of herself.
7. But Don’t Pry
The flipside of asking her questions is knowing when not to pry. We all have things we don’t feel comfortable disclosing right away to someone new.
You’ll know if you touch on a subject she doesn’t feel comfortable with — she’ll hesitate and look away or down at the floor.
If this happens, don’t feel bad — you can never know which topics are sensitive for a woman you don’t know very well.
But if you notice she seems uncomfortable, change the subject and don’t pursue that line of inquiry any further.
8. Avoid Sarcasm
If you want to seduce a woman with words, you must avoid sarcasm at all costs. They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, and it will certainly make her feel uncomfortable if you’re overly sarcastic.
But what should you use instead of sarcasm? Try making humorous observations about the place you’re in, people around you, or even some recent topical event.
9. Tell Her You Feel Nervous
This one ties in with being vulnerable. Everyone feels nervous on a first date, so there’s a good chance the woman you want to seduce feels nervous, too.
But before you protest — no, this won’t make you look weak. Quite the contrary, she will be impressed that you were able to admit to and own your nerves (see point two on vulnerability).
But, more importantly, it’s going to make her feel less nervous and put her at ease, which is essential if you want to seduce her.
10. Be Humorous
One of the most effective tried-and-true ways to seduce a woman is to make her laugh. Women like to be with men who are witty and humorous.
Just be careful to keep it light and inoffensive. Avoid any kind of humor that relies on prejudice, such as racist or sexist jokes.
Women want to be with a man who’s funny, so if you can make her laugh, you’ll be well on your way to seducing your woman with words.
11. Keep Your Voice Low
This might sound weird, but keeping your voice low and soft throughout the conversation will help you seduce a woman with words.
Women are naturally attracted to men with deep voices, and by keeping the tone low and volume soft, she’ll have to lean in to hear what you’re saying. This creates an atmosphere of intimacy between you and will help you with the seduction process.
But it doesn’t mean you should start speaking like Barry White, or you’ll take it too far. Just lower your natural tone a bit and keep the volume low. Remember, it’s not about being fake, just using what you’ve got.
12. Use Your Body Language
Leaning in close to your dream girl creates an intimate atmosphere between you. It makes her feel special and like you have eyes only for her. But it’s not the only way to use your body language when seducing a woman with words.
Make lots of eye contact with her, and make sure you give long, lingering looks that let her know you’re into her.
You should also mirror her body language, which sends the signal to her subconscious that you are aligned and in tune with each other.
Physical contact is also important when you want to seduce a woman with words, but avoid being invasive or creepy. Lightly touching her arm is a great way to let her know you’re into her.
13. Avoid Boasting
If you’re trying to seduce a woman, it’s natural to want to impress her with your achievements and accomplishments.
But women like men who are humble, and listening to someone drone on about how great they are is boring and likely to turn her off.
So you have to find subtle ways to drop your achievements into the conversation without making it all about you.
14. Don’t Get Jealous
If she mentions another man, don’t confront her about it. You only just met her, so it’s natural that she has other men in her life.
Don’t jump to conclusions, either. The “Brian” she keeps referring to could be a cousin or gay best friend. Not every man in the world is your romantic rival, and jealousy is a big turn-off for women, so keep cool.
Even if she does have other romantic interests, it’s her prerogative and none of your business. Jealousy is deeply unattractive, and she’ll see it as a red flag for any potential relationship with you.
15. Don’t Focus Too Much on Her Physical Appearance
Women are beautiful, and sometimes it can be hard to focus on anything else.
But the thing is, she already knows she’s beautiful. She sees herself in the mirror every day.
Plus, you are definitely not the first man to notice her amazing eyes or how cute her dimples are. There’s no way you can tell her anything she hasn’t heard a million times before.
Tell her she looks beautiful, of course. Give her specific compliments about her dress or accessories. But leave it at that. Don’t keep banging on about her beauty, or she’ll be bored or even uncomfortable.
16. Encourage Her to Go After Her Dreams
Women face a lot more obstacles than men when it comes to going after their dreams. At work and in business, they face discrimination, prejudice, and lower pay rates than men.
And even in the twenty-first century, women still face pressures to get married, have children, and be homemakers in a way that men don’t.
The world tells women they can’t where it tells men they can. Women grow up learning to fight to prove they deserve what men take as though it was rightfully theirs.
So when a man shows a woman he believes in her and encourages her to go after her dreams, he’s showing her that he sees her talent and potential beyond her gender — he sees her as a whole person.
And that is incredibly seductive in a world where women are constantly objectified and judged against impossible standards.
17. Appeal to Her Intellect
Contrary to what many men seem to believe, women are not dumb. In fact, it’s often said that a woman’s most important sex organ is her brain.
Women want to be with a man who challenges and stimulates them intellectually — so it’s important to be able to hold up your side of a debate.
If you know which topics are important to her, you could even try reading up on that subject so you can prepare some talking points on it.
18. Don’t Pressure Her
It’s important for men to accept that no matter how many ways we try to seduce a woman, there’s no guarantee she will go for it.
A woman doesn’t owe you anything just because you buy her dinner and put a few moves on her.
If you start pressuring her or being in any way clingy or needy, it will be the opposite of seducing her — it will make her run a mile.
Plus, entering a relationship should be a mutual decision that both parties embark on willingly. If she’s not that into you, don’t force it. The relationship won’t work out, and there’s someone else out there who will fall head over heels for you.
19. Make Her Feel Comfortable
Similarly, it should go without saying that making a woman feel uncomfortable is not a good way to seduce her.
Avoid being intimidating, overbearing, pushy, or dominating. Be polite and courteous — not only to her but also to the staff of the bar or restaurant you’re in.
Show her that you’re one of the good ones by being on your best behavior.
20. Be Calm and Confident
When talking, speak in a calm and confident manner. Don’t get overly emotional or come across as desperate.
The best way to feel confident is just to be yourself (see point one). Pretending to be something you’re not will only make you feel stressed out and unsure of yourself.
Being yourself is freeing if you accept that the woman may or may not like you — and that’s okay!
If you’re someone who naturally lacks confidence, you might want to consider working with a coach to help you overcome this challenge.
21. Be Positive
Let’s face it — no one likes a complainer. Try to keep your conversation topics light and fun, and if you have to talk about something negative, find a way to put a positive spin on it or see the bright side.
Definitely don’t bring up all your problems, like why you hate your boss or that fight you had with your brother.
This will give the impression that you’re a negative person who’s difficult to get along with — which is not what you want if you’re trying to seduce a woman.
22. Confide in Her
Tell her something that you would only tell people you trust. It will make her feel like she’s part of your inner circle.
This doesn’t have to be some deep, dark secret. It should be a vulnerability or weakness that she can relate to.
This will show her that you have self-awareness about your shortcomings (something many men lack), but at the same time, you’re confident enough in yourself to be able to admit to them.
It will also appeal to her human and emotional side, which will make you more attractive to her.
23. Don’t Treat Her Like She’s Fragile
Women are often referred to as “the weaker sex,” but they are actually much tougher than most men.
Women go through life fighting against prejudice and discrimination and still achieve amazing things. They go through childbirth. Most men I know think they’re going to die every time they catch a cold.
Know that the woman sitting in front of you is not a damsel in distress — she’s more like a warrior goddess. And by recognizing her as such, you’ll be a refreshing change from the rest of society.
So, now you know my 23 coach-approved ways to seduce a woman you like. Which one will you try first?
And remember, whatever she decides, make sure you respect her wishes. If it doesn’t work out, think of it as a practice run for when you meet the right woman for you.