11 Insights In No Contact Rule Male Psychology (2024)

The no contact rule + male psychology is a cataclysmic combination. When the two combine, expect a reaction.

The no contact rule is highly recommended after a break-up, especially if you’re hoping to get your ex back. 

Let’s explore exactly why this rule is so powerful.  

1. What Is The No Contact Rule? How The No Contact Rule Works

To follow this rule, you must engage in absolutely no communication with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend after a break-up.

No Contact Rule Male Psychology
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This means no phone calls, no messages, no social media interaction. In fact, it’s recommended to unfollow them on all social media accounts and to keep a long distance, avoiding the same places where there’s a high chance of a surprise reunion.

The no contact period should be indefinite with no exceptions. 

Some relationship experts suggest a 30-day no-contact period, but that’s based on the idea that this is how long it takes to get used to a new habit. So, the 30-day no contact rule is essentially to prime you for permanent silence, without overwhelming you.

It might sound difficult, especially when the only thing you want is to be together. However, the no contact rule is very powerful for getting what you want from the post break-up period, whether that’s getting your ex back or just moving on with your life without feeling so heartbroken

2. Psychology Of No Contact On Male Dumper

The no contact rule psychology is based on the fact that men and women tend to want exactly what they can’t have. This is more than simple reverse psychology. It also takes advantage of the fact that scarce items (and people) tend to be valued more than those that are abundantly available.

But there are other possibilities going on in the male mind when you engage the no contact rule, so let’s explore those now…

3. He Starts To Doubt That You’ll Come Crawling Back

Maybe there was some doubt in his mind before and during the break-up. It’s not always easy being single if you’re the dumper either.

However, when their ex is constantly contacting them, they fall back on the idea that they can come crawling back if they get too lonely.

But the no contact rule makes them doubt this possibility.

This can make them feel anxious. Your ex will often start to wonder if you’re still romantically  available. 

This doubt can often spark a sudden change of heart in your ex-partner, causing them to try and re-establish a relationship with you. 

4. He Will Start Missing You

When you continue to contact your ex-boyfriend to tempt him back, he continues to get some of the validation of being in a relationship, while remaining free to find someone else. Depending on your behavior, he might also be getting reminders of why he broke up with you too.

The no contact rule helps him to miss you. Now he misses out on those feel-good chemicals that come when you validate him. On top of that, he no longer stays updated on how you’re doing and what’s going on in your life.

Your absence gives him a chance to experience some romantic loneliness. It also allows him to forget just what inspired him to dump you. That’s why it’s said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. 

Related: Getting Over A Breakup Is A Chance – Get Over Your Ex Fast

5. He Gets To Witness Your Independence

Let’s suppose that he dumped you because he felt you were too needy or dependent on him. A period of no contact helps him to see that you may not be as clingy as he thought. 

Of course, the no contact rule should give you a chance to actually learn how to become independent as a single woman. 

6. Some Guys Prefer Unavailable Women 

Some men just can’t help but pursue unavailable women. Perhaps they adore the thrill of the chase, or maybe they fear the potential heartbreak that comes with true intimacy. The video below explains this very concept in more detail.

These types of guys aren’t the best candidates for a committed relationship, not unless they finally realize the errors in their mindset.

So, while no contact works often to tempt these guys back, it’s worth questioning whether you actually want a guy like this. 

7. Pride And Ego Will Be Damaged

In the male mind, he’ll feel like he ‘won’ the break-up if he left you. But when you don’t contact him, the radio silence can dent his ego. Some guys will try and get you back if only to fix their dented pride. At the very least, they may become passive-aggressive and try to make you feel guilty for ceasing contact.     

Related: Stages Of Getting Back Together With An Ex Slowly

8. Will The No Contact Rule Work?

Only time will tell. 

There are no concrete solutions to win your ex back – and that includes the no contact rule. 

A big factor that determines the success of no contact is whether he’s started dating someone else. Most people will be less tempted to go back to their ex if they’re happy in a new relationship. 

Another factor is whether you’re working on improving yourself since cutting communication. A lot of guys will ask friends about you or snoop on your social media before reaching out. If they see signs of improvement, that might motivate them to go through with it.

So, make a point of working on your self-esteem, self-respect and other aspects of your mental health. Give your appearance a post-breakup glow-up too! 

It might feel tough to do this when you’re heartbroken, but it can do a lot to help you get over ex-boyfriends. More importantly, it can positively transform what the future holds for you.   

Related: Does My Ex Miss Me? 21 Clear Signs

9. When Does No Contact Work? How Do I Know No Contact Is Working?  

There are a few clear signs that the no contact rule is working. Here are some of the most common ones to look out for.

Men Respond To No Contact

If they’re sending text messages or trying to call you, that’s a good indicator that no contact is working.

He’s Trying To Find Out About You From Mutual Friends

An alternative to texting you, which shows the curiosity that the no contact rule has created within him.

He’s Trying To Make You Jealous

Perhaps he starts to play tricks by posting content with other women on social media, or starting rumors and hoping you hear them. This is another sign that his emotional state towards you has changed since your no contact rule was engaged.  

He’s Trying To Win You Back

The clearest sign that no contact is working. Perhaps he even comes to your house to try and make your love story continue.  

You’re Thinking About Him Less

This is a different definition of the no contact rule ‘working’. But it’s a powerful way to get closure from your break-up, even if it doesn’t persuade him to come back to you. 

10. Male Dumper Psychology

I could type for one week about the psychology that leads men towards a break-up, and still have a few days worth of content remaining.

So, rather than telling an exceptionally long story, let me point you towards some of my most important related blog posts instead. 

Related: The INFINITE Power Of Silence After A Breakup

11. No Contact Rule: Female Psychology

When you’re the one who was dumped, the no contact rule has the same capacity to tempt your partner back whether they’re a man or a woman. The principles of the no contact rule are the same for female and male psychology. If you’re a man reading this, you can expect the no contact rule to work on most women too. 

Female Psychology
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Still, I want to make a final point to emphasise its impact on the recovery of the dumped party.  

The no contact rule provides your best opportunity to focus on personal growth and recovery after a breakup.

By making a conscious effort to keep your previous relationship off your mind, you’re free to focus on becoming a stronger, happier person.

It might not seem like that’s possible right now. But over a long period, it’s possible to move on to a better place in a healthy way.

You can hire a dating coach or read an online step-by-step guide to get back on your feet. But the first phase of this recovery process is choosing to purposefully ignore your ex. 

Any More Questions About The No Contact Rule & Male Psychology?

Thanks for reading my guide on the no contact rule. 

Hopefully, it helps you to get what you want from the post-breakup period, whether that’s getting your ex back or moving on for good.

If you have any questions or other words to add about the no contact rule, feel free to leave them in the comments section.

It would be great to hear from you. 

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About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.