Getting back together with an ex can be a tricky process. You must be careful because if you move too fast, you might scare them away for good. If you move too slowly, they might get impatient and find someone else.
How do you approach your reunion?
While there’s no specific formula for getting back with your ex, there are several steps you can take to ensure a successful reunion. These include going through stages of no contact, defining yourself and your goals, and the doubt stage, among others, before finally reconciling.
In this article, we will go over the 13 stages of getting back together with an ex slowly. We will provide tips for each step so that you can make the process as smooth as possible!
But before we get into the stages of getting back together with an ex, let’s look at why you may want to get back together with an Ex.
Why Do You Want To Get Back Together With Your Ex?
Before starting the stages of getting back together with your ex, reflecting on why you want to get back with them is essential. Are you truly in love with them, or do you just miss the comfort and familiarity of being in a relationship?
If it’s the latter, this may not be a good reason to get back together with your ex-boyfriend.
It’s important to find fulfillment and happiness within yourself before getting into a relationship. Otherwise, you may end up in the same circumstances that led to the breakup.
If you feel it’s true love and worth trying again with your ex, it’s crucial to communicate this honestly with them during the stages of getting back together.
Does Your Ex Want To Get Back Together With You?
Other than understanding your reason for wanting to get back together with your ex, it’s essential to ensure that the decision to get back together is mutual.
Before starting the stages of getting back together, have an open and honest conversation with your ex about their thoughts on getting back together.
If they aren’t interested in giving the relationship another shot, it’s essential to respect their decision and move on for the sake of both parties.
Stages Of Getting Back Together With An Ex
#1. No Contact Stage
After a breakup, it’s essential to have some time away from each other. This first stage entails establishing and maintaining the “no contact rule,” where you don’t communicate with your ex for a certain period.
This stage is crucial because it allows both parties to reflect on the relationship, work on themselves individually, and process their emotions.
Without this stage, you risk jumping back into a relationship without properly addressing any underlying issues that may have caused the breakup in the first place.
To successfully go through the no-contact stage, avoid reaching out to your ex via phone calls or texts. If you see them in person, don’t initiate conversation and remove any reminders of them from your social media accounts.
This may be a difficult stage, but it’s necessary for the stages of getting back together to go smoothly.
Related: Insights In No Contact Rule
#2. Finding Yourself
During the no-contact stage, it’s important to focus on finding yourself as an individual.
Take a few weeks to reflect on what you want in a relationship and evaluate your emotions and behavior in the past relationship. It’s also crucial to work on any personal issues, such as low self-esteem or trust issues, that may have played a role in the breakup.
By working on yourself and addressing your issues, you can start a new and healthier relationship with your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend.
It’s also during this stage that you define yourself devoid of your exes’ opinions. Take up new hobbies and interests, hang out with friends, and focus on your career or education.
This will not only make you a stronger individual but also make you more attractive to your ex.
#3. Going Back to the Past
After the stages of finding yourself and addressing any personal issues, it’s time to go back to the past and reflect on the relationship. Some of the questions you might ask yourself during this reflection stage include the following:
- Were you happy in the relationship?
- Why did the relationship end?
- Did your partner treat you with love and respect?
- What were some issues and conflicts within the relationship?
- Did you try to address these issues appropriately, or did they go unresolved?
It’s vital to uncover any patterns in the relationship that may have led to the breakup and determine if they can be resolved.
If there are patterns of abuse, infidelity, or other major red flags, it may be better to move on rather than try to get back together with your ex.
But if the problems seem manageable and both parties are willing to work on them, it may be worth giving the relationship another shot.
#4. Fear and Anxiety Stage
After reflecting on the past, it’s perfectly normal to feel fear and anxiety about starting a relationship with your ex again.
You may be worried about getting hurt again or not knowing how to fix any previous issues.
It’s important to acknowledge and address these fears before moving forward in the stages of getting back together. You can try talking to a therapist or close friend about your worries and come up with potential solutions.
But if the fear and anxiety become overwhelming, it may be a sign that getting back together is not the right decision for you.
In this case, listening to your gut instinct and prioritizing your mental health and well-being is essential.
#5. Re-establishing Contact
After the stages of reflection and addressing fears, it’s time to re-establish contact with your ex. Start slowly by sending a casual text or meeting up for coffee.
During this stage, it’s essential to set boundaries and discuss any issues from the past relationship. Make sure to communicate openly and honestly with your ex about what you both want from the relationship moving forward.
It’s also crucial to take things slow, as jumping back into a full-fledged relationship without properly addressing past issues can lead to future problems.
Remember to listen attentively to your ex’s thoughts and feelings and be willing to compromise.
This stage is all about rebuilding trust and communication in the relationship.
#6. Testing The Waters
After re-establishing contact, it’s time to test the waters and see if getting back together is the right decision for both parties.
During this stage, don’t expect much; otherwise, you might end up disappointed. Try out small things such as holding video calls, going on casual dates, and hanging out with mutual friends.
Pay attention to how you feel during these interactions and if the relationship still brings you joy or causes more pain.
It’s important to be honest with yourself and your ex about any concerns or issues that may arise during this stage.
If things progress positively, it may be worth giving the relationship another chance.
But if there are still major red flags or unresolved issues, it may be better to move on for your well-being.
Related: Does My Ex Miss Me? 21 Clear Signs
#7. First Post Breakup Date
After testing the waters, it’s time for the first post-breakup date.
During this stage, it’s important to communicate expectations for the date and ensure both parties are on the same page.
Try to plan something special or out of the ordinary to add excitement and keep things interesting. But also remember to take things slow and not put too much pressure on the date.
Enjoy each other’s company and try to have fun during this stage. Pay attention to how you feel after the date and communicate with your ex about any concerns or issues.
During this date, pay attention to your ex-girlfriend/ boyfriend’s body language and how they act around you.
After this first date, take care not to end up in bed with your ex.
#8. Walking on Eggshells
During this stage, it’s common to feel like you’re walking on eggshells around your ex. You may be trying to avoid any conflict or not wanting to upset them.
However, it’s essential to communicate openly and honestly about any issues that may arise during this stage. Avoiding conflicts or sweeping matters under the rug can lead to future problems in the relationship.
It’s also important to set boundaries and not let your ex walk all over you or take advantage of you.
Make sure you treat each other with respect and kindness during this stage.
#9. Deja Vu
During this stage, it may feel like you’re experiencing the same patterns from a past relationship.
It’s essential to pay attention to any patterns or red flags that may have existed in the past and address them before they become major issues again.
Communicate openly with your ex about these concerns and try to come up with solutions. Avoid getting stuck in the same negative patterns and try to make positive changes in the relationship.
At the same time, try to appreciate the positive aspects of the relationship and enjoy happy moments together.
#10. Feeling A Little bit weird
During this stage, it’s common to feel a bit weird or uncomfortable in the relationship.
This could be due to past hurt, unresolved issues, or just the feeling of getting used to being back with your ex.
It’s important to communicate any concerns and address them as best as you can. Don’t be afraid to seek outside help or advice from trusted friends and family members if needed.
Try to work through any uncomfortable feelings and move forward with a positive attitude.
#11. Relearning Your Partner
During your breakup, both you and your partner underwent your own individual transformations. Your ex-boyfriend isn’t the same person you knew. You’ve both evolved.
This is why it’s essential to relearn each other. Get to know your partner’s new interests, habits, and thoughts. Try to discover new things about each other and cultivate a deeper understanding of one another.
Be open to embracing change in yourself and your partner during this stage.
#12. Experiencing a New Relationship
Even though you and your partner have been through a past relationship together, it doesn’t mean everything will be the same as before.
You are both different individuals now, and it’s important to experience this new and healthy relationship with fresh perspectives and open minds.
Allow yourself and your partner the opportunity to make mistakes, grow, and learn from them.
Continue to communicate openly about any issues or concerns that may arise during this stage.
Appreciate the unique dynamic of this new relationship and enjoy creating new memories together.
#13. Building a Stronger Foundation
During this final stage, it’s crucial to work towards building a solid foundation for your renewed relationship.
Continue to communicate openly and honestly with each other about any issues.
Make sure both parties are willing to work on the relationship and address any problems healthily and constructively.
Focus on creating a positive dynamic in the relationship, appreciating each other’s differences, and supporting one another’s growth.
Stages of Getting Back Together With an Ex: FAQs
How Long Does It Take For Exes to Get Back Together?
There is no set time frame for exes to get back together. For some, it may take a few months, while for others, it may take years before they get back. It can vary greatly depending on the individual circumstances and stages they go through in their journey of reconciling.
It’s essential to take as much time as needed to ensure that both parties are ready, willing, and able to work on the relationship and address any past issues.
Can Getting Back Together With an Ex Work Out?
There is no guarantee that getting back together with an ex will work out in the long term. However, going through the stages of reconciliation and addressing any past issues can increase the likelihood of success for the renewed relationship.
It’s important to communicate openly and honestly and be willing to work on the relationship.
What Are Some Red Flags When Getting Back Together With an Ex?
When getting back together with an ex, some red flags to watch out for include
- Constantly repeating past negative patterns or unresolved issues,
- One partner not being fully committed to the relationship,
- Jealousy or possessiveness, and
- A lack of trust or communication.
It’s essential to address any red flags and ensure both parties are willing to work on any issues healthily.
How Often Do Exes Get Back Together?
There is no definitive answer for how often exes get back together. Some may never reconcile, while others may attempt to multiple times before finding success in their renewed relationship.
Taking time apart and addressing past issues is essential before considering reconciliation and being fully committed.
It’s also important to ask yourself if you’re willing to work on the relationship moving forward.
How to Take It Slow When Getting Back Together With an Ex?
Taking it slow when getting back together with an ex can help both parties adjust to the renewed relationship and address any past issues.
This can involve taking time apart before reconciling, going through stages of getting to know each other again, and being open to experiencing a new dynamic in the relationship. Communicating openly and honestly about any concerns or issues can also be critical in taking it slow.
It’s essential to ensure both parties are committed and willing to work on the relationship to increase the likelihood of long-term success.
What Are the Signs You’ll Get Back Together With Your Ex?
Some signs that you may get back together with your ex can include:
- Increased positive communication between you and your ex
- A willingness to address past issues and work on the relationship.
- An understanding and appreciation for each other’s differences, and
- A strong commitment to the renewed relationship.
However, there is no guarantee that getting back together with an ex will be successful in the long term. It’s essential to take time apart and communicate openly before considering a reconciliation.
Overall, it’s essential to ensure both parties are willing to work on the relationship and healthily address any past issues. This can increase the likelihood of success for the renewed relationship.
To learn more about the signs that your ex will come back to you, check out our article on definite Signs Your Ex Will Eventually Come Back.
Any Further Questions
There you go.
A guide on the 13 stages of getting back together with an ex. By going through these stages slowly and intentionally, you and your partner can work towards a strong, healthy, renewed relationship.
Remember to be patient with yourself and your partner during this process and always prioritize open communication.
Do you know of any stages we might have skipped? Please tell us in the comments section below. And if you have any questions about getting back together with an ex, feel free to ask them in the comments.
We’re here to support you on your journey toward reconciliation.