In this article, we’ll explore the reasons why men are giving up on dating women.
In my experience as a professional life coach, this is an idea that crops up now and again.
So, I will take this opportunity to explore the reasons why men are giving up on finding a woman, then share what I think about making this choice in your own life.
Let’s dive right into it.
Who are the guys who give up on dating?
First, let’s mention a community of men called MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way).
This group of men claim to have voluntarily given up on pursuing relationships with women – and we’ll explore the most common reasons why below.
This community would appear to be growing a good deal larger in recent years.
The forums on mgtow.com have clocked up more than 750,000 messages. Its sub-reddit had around 150,000 subscribers before it was quarantined by the website in early 2020.
There are several MGTOW YouTube channels to have attracted hundreds of thousands of subscribers too. These YouTubers make videos sharing news stories and their own personal experiences with women, so others can learn something from them
There’s also a online community called ‘incels’, which stands for ‘involuntarily celibate’. This community is more aggressive and hateful. They hate women because they are unable to successfully pursue romantic relationships with them.
Still, both communities give similar reasons for not dating women, whether that’s voluntarily or involuntarily.
Why do guys give up on relationships?
Here are the main reasons that men in these communities have given up pursuing loving partnerships – or even spending time – with women.
It’s not for me to say whether they are right or wrong, but I will back up their points with data where possible.
A fair amount of men in these communities feel that women are too picky when it comes to choosing a man to settle down with.
This is often backed by studies of online dating data, including this one, in which women rated 80% of men as below average looking.
In recent times, it has become easier than ever to meet someone new, using online dating or social media.
This is likely to have made it easier for attractive women and men to meet new people, develop ‘grass is greener‘ syndrome, and only settle for the ‘perfect’ partner. Good is no longer good enough.
For those in the bottom 80% of men, this pickiness could be more apparent than ever.
This is the idea that someone would give up their relationship for something better when given the chance.
These aforementioned men’s groups tend to think that women are naturally hypergamous and that they’d have little to no chance of stopping a woman leaving them for someone else.
A lot of men bemoan that beautiful women are now too entitled. They suggest that this is due to the barrage of attention they receive every day on social media and online dating apps.
Many are accused of expecting the world on a silver platter, while putting in no effort to make things work themselves.
This attention and entitlement has supposedly served to make women more demanding of the men they choose to date.
The rise of sugar dating and online platforms like Twitch and OnlyFans – where men routinely make huge financial donations to women they’re attracted to – could also be playing a role.
When women continuously make demands that men don’t want to meet, it would make sense for them to eventually stop trying to make things work with the opposite sex.
The trend of women posting raunchy and salicous pictures online is more prominent than ever.
With the rise of platforms like OnlyFans, this trend isn’t looking like it’s going to stop any time soon.
Some of the men who are giving up on finding a woman say they don’t want to date anyone who shows off their body like this.
Many of these men would like to date someone who was more modest about their sexuality in front of the public eye.
#6 A lack of Femininity
Men in these groups tend to complain that third-wave feminism has left Western society with far less feminine women.
They suggest it has become really difficult to find a woman with traditional feminine values and that they have no interest in spending time with this new breed of masculine women.
#7 Divorce Laws
Men are wary of losing more than their fair share of their net worth if they end up divorced.
Also, the odds are stacked against single dads receiving custody of their children after a divorce. The latest United States census revealed that one in six custodial parents are men.
#8 The #MeToo Movement
When the #MeToo movement first gained popularity, there was a sharp rise in sexual harassment claims of all kinds reported by the media.
The regulations surrounding harrassment in the workplace or in public also appear to have tightened across the world.
This new legal environment has made some men wary of approaching or dating women.
On top of that, many men are even refusing to spend time alone with female colleagues in the office, lest an accusation be made against them.
#9 Women Only Want “Bad Boys”.
This is a cliched reason to be giving up on finding a woman. Not everyone agrees it’s an accurate one.
Nevertheless, many men feel like finding love is impossible, unless they adopt some “bad boy” habits that they are not willing to try out.
They say it’s tougher than ever to find love if you are a kind person with a good heart.
#10 Dating is Expensive
A 2018 study from Match.com revealed how much an average date costs in the United States. The costs varied wildly by state, costing from as little as $38 in South Dakota up to around $297 in New York. It’s likely to cost more in the modern day and it’s going to cost more in the future. That’s how inflation works…
Indeed, some men out there already think that looking for love is not worth the money.
#11 Dating Distracts You From Your Goals
There are some people out there who say they don’t have time to date because of their other goals. Perhaps these are professional goals. Maybe they are already committed to looking after other family members.
It’s reasonable to believe that searching for ‘Miss Right’ is going to distract you from these goals. It’s going to take time and emotional energy to find ‘The One’.
Then, even when you find the right person, a relationship will always take a fair amount of time and effort to maintain. And some men have decided they don’t have much time or enough patience to be giving to a partner.
#12 Some Men Prefer Sleeping Around
Some men, including those in the MGTOW community, have decided to stop looking for a monogamous partner, but still want to spend time engaging in hook-ups and casual arrangements.
A common argument is that men are biologically driven to seek sexual variety – and if they don’t want to get married or have children – it makes no sense to look for a monogamous relationship. Instead, it’s best to sleep with as many women as possible.
Indeed, this new era of digital dating has made it easier for men (the top 20% anyway) to live like this if they want to.
#13 Dating is Painful
Although people in the MGTOW community are far less likely to mention this one, I wanted to include it anyway.
Looking for love is painful. Being rejected many times by many women is painful. Having your heart broken by someone you trust is painful.
Getting divorced, losing your assets and access to your children is even more painful.
For most guys, it’s only after the pain of losing someone that they decide they don’t want to find someone else.
Some men aren’t strong enough to dust themselves off to try and fight again another day. It’s easier to stop looking for love. Some instead choose to look for solace in online communities that explain why giving up on finding a woman is the right choice.
#14 Enjoying Quite Time
Especially after a breakup often men prefer to stay for themselves for a while.
This is healthy and a sign of maturity.
#15 Tired Of Dating
Often men are tired of dating.
Especially if they dated a lot in the past.
#16 Too Many Dissapointments
If men got disappointed several times in a row, they may decide to take a break as well and rather stay for themselves.
When should you give up on finding love?
I truly believe you should never ‘give up’ on finding love.
To ‘give up’ incinuates you wanted it, but found it impossible to obtain.
Love is the reason you exist on this planet. To love abundantly is to live abundantly. To spread love is to feel alive.
Maybe you’re struggling to connect with a good woman right now. But all hope is not lost for you.
One of the female’s beautiful gifts is to inspire men to improve. Women want the strongest partner they can find, so men strive to become stronger. When we strive to become stronger, we are happier. And the world around us becomes better too.
As a man, you can improve your intelligence, charisma, assertiveness, bravery, leadership skills, self-esteem, status, sense of humor, your inner and outer strength, your ability to provide a stable life for a family.
These are all qualities that drive women wild with desire. When a man shows these traits in abundance, his physical limitations become an afterthought.
A lot of women have flaws, just as men do. They may routinely take advantage of weak men. But, in my experience, when a woman falls in love with a strong masculine man, she becomes the most well-behaved lovable innocent symbol of femininity.
It is in our masculine nature to be drawn to this.
The best way to find a great woman is to become a great man. When you do this, everybody wins.
Sure, it might be hard work to reach this point. No, you may not have it as easy as a beautiful woman. But the struggle is worth it. Because love is what makes life worth living.
What happens if you never find love?
MGTOW members point to close male friendships, hobbies, artistic work, travel and professional pursuits among the things that make them happy. They like putting themselves first. They may enjoy loving relationships with their family, including children from previous relationships. Some still like to partake in casual arrangements with women.
So, yes you can still enjoy a fulfilling life if you never find that one special person.
But to give up on finding romantic love with another person is to give up on your human nature. There must be an emptiness that comes with closing that door.
There is no ‘right’ way to live your life...
But I think you’d be happier endlessly spreading love into the world – and keeping your heart open to receiving it in return.
Do you have any questions about giving up on finding love?
I really hope you were able to learn something from this article on why men are giving up on trying to find love.
If you feel like there’s something else you want to know about this topic, you can always leave a message in the comments section below.
It would be good to hear what you think about this topic.
I’ll make sure to take a look for new comments as often as I can – and I wish you the best of luck in finding your one special person.