Wondering why people are always too busy for you? The answer is: they’re too busy for you. People make time for what they want.
This is one of the most important lessons to be aware of in life.
Below, we’ll discover why people make time for what they want, what that means for your life and how to encourage people to make time for you.
In my role as a life coach, I am often helping people make decisions for their priorities in life.
These lessons can be difficult to hear, but can make a big impact on your life. That’s why I’m excited to share them with you.
Let’s dive right into it.
1. You Make Time For The Things That Are Important To You
Maybe you’re confused when someone says they’re too busy to spend time with you.
After all, you’re busy too. Maybe you feel like you’re far busier than them. Yet, you found a way to make time for them.
So, what’s going on?
The truth is: the people who say they’re too busy are filling their time with more important things. Although they’re busy, if they wanted to make time for you, they’d find a way.
You don’t have more important things than them. They do have more important things than you.
It can be tough to hear when worded so bluntly, but this honest truth will encourage you to reassess your priorities more accurately.
If Someone Wants To See You, They’ll Make Time
If someone’s parents or children were hit by a car and taken to hospital, you’d imagine they’d do everything they could to be there. Nothing else in their life would be more important than that.
This is an extreme example, but it illustrates the fact that if someone wants to see you, they’ll make time.
The matter simply has to be more important than whatever else is going in their life.
2. People Say They’re “Too Busy” To Be Polite
Often, people will be too polite to spell out that they have a list of things more important than you. So, they just use the “B” word and hope you’ll understand.
However, you’ll notice when people truly do want to talk to you later, they do explain the list of things currently taking up their time.
If that list contains unimportant things like scrolling Facebook, this person doesn’t want to talk to you so badly, but they know you wouldn’t like to hear that. So they’ll either lie or just say they’re “busy” and leave it at that.
3. Some People Need More Alone Time Than Others
If you’re an extrovert, you might be surprised or even offended when someone says they’re too busy to hang out with you, only for you to find out they’re at home alone.
But, before you respond angrily, take a moment to consider the difference between introverts and extroverts.
Extroverts tend to gain a lot of energy from socialising. They love it. It refuels them after a tough day of work.
Introverts tend to lose a lot of energy from socialising. It drains them. They need more time to refuel at home, ready for the next tough day of work.
So, if someone doesn’t want to talk to you, it could be that recharging is more important to them. There’s every chance they don’t want to talk to anyone.
4. Don’t Underestimate The Amount Of Time That People Spend Procrastinating
If you’re a productive hustler who can consistently avoid the tempations of social media platforms like Facebook, that’s amazing. You’ll go far in life.
But, please know that most people are not like this. The amount of time that the average person spends procrastinating is staggering, especially in this new smartphone-obsessed era. We’ll take so many breaks to text, call and reply to our friends on Facebook. It sucks so much time out of our day.
Still, people make time for what they want.
If someone truly wanted to make time to talk to you, they would log out from Facebook, eliminate all distractions and finish their tasks. Anyone who has ever left a college essay to the last minute can relate. Or, more likely, they procrastinate by texting you rather than their other Facebook friends.
5. The Most Important People In Our Life Often Need A Lot Of Our Time
When someone says they’re too busy, it’s often with the same handful of people. In many cases, it’s their wife, partner or other family members.
In most cases, these are the people we want to talk to more than anyone. If you’re not linked to someone by blood or romance, you may often find they’re too busy for you.
It’s not necessarily that they don’t like you. It’s just that it takes time to build strong relationships with loved ones – and people want to spend time doing that more than most other things.
If this person also has kids, take this advice and 10x it. When you’re a parent, you have to put your child’s needs before anyone, even yourself. Believe anyone who says they’re “too busy” when they’re a parent.
6. When Someone Says They’re “Too Busy”, They Might Not Want To Spend Money
Perhaps this person wanted to be around you, but they want to save money even more.
It’s rare for someone to admit this, because it’s embarassing to admit you can’t afford things.
Also, this opens the door for you to argue that it doesn’t cost that much, and this is probably an argument they don’t want to waste energy on.
7. It Takes More Energy To Text, Call And Reply Than You Might Understand
You might not believe anyone who says they don’t have time to text, call or reply to your Facebook messages. It only takes two seconds, right?
While that is true, there’s more to it than that.
- Some people get A LOT of messages. Business owners. Attractive people with a Tinder account. Any woman posting semi-provocative content on Facebook, Instagram or TikTok. These people may literally not have the time to text, call and reply to all their messages.
- The time adds up. Most likely, if they reply to you, you’re going to respond to that message. Now, that’s another message to reply to and more time they have to invest.
- People don’t want to lead you on. In most cases, the people you’re messaging will have an idea of what you ultimately want from them. If they don’t want to give you that thing, they’ll often ignore your message completely. This is less stressful than taking the time to explain why they don’t want to talk to you. Indeed, if they did explain that, you might get upset and send even more messages arguing your case.
8. People Are Always Seeking Value
When you’re trying to take up someone’s time, they are always thinking “what’s in it for me?”. Don’t believe anyone who says otherwise.
We are all inherently ‘selfish’ in this way. It doesn’t matter that you want to talk to them. They need to see the value in engaging with you. Period.
Therefore, one of the best life lessons you can learn is to lead with the value you’re presenting. People are less likely to be busy if they want what you have to offer.
9. It’s A Turn-Off If You’re Always Too Available
Most intelligent people expect that you’ll sometimes be the one who says they’re too busy, especially if you’ve just met.
If you always wanted to be around them, they’d usually take that as a sign you don’t have other important things in your life.
That’s a huge turn-off, especially in the world of dating. Most people want to date someone who has an active and fun life. Subconsciously at least, they want to chase the love interest who says they’re too busy.
If someone says they’re too busy to talk to you, the best next move is therefore to give them some space. Have other things going on in your life. At the very least, make it seem like you have other things to do.
When you do this, you may be surprised how often that man or woman decides to contact you later on.
10. Make Time For Those Who Value You
Of all the lessons learned in this article, the main one to take away is to: make time for those who make time for you.
If you put yourself out there enough, you will find people who want to talk to you. The more value you offer, the more of these people you’ll find.
If you want to live a happy and fulfilling life, repay these people by making time for them. This is an act of respect for yourself and for those who truly value you.
You don’t need to chase the man or woman who says they’re too busy. Often, it’ll prove to be a fruitless pursuit. They wouldn’t always be so busy if they wanted to be around you.
“I’ll Make Time For You” – Meaning
When someone says: “I’ll make time for you”, they’re saying they will prioritize you over other things. These are the people you want to make time for.
“People make time for who they want to make time for. People text, call and reply to people they want to talk to. Never believe anyone who says they’re too busy. If they wanted to be around you, they would” – Unknown
People Make Time For What They Want: Any More Questions?
Thanks for reading! I hope the lessons from this guide made sense and that you can apply them in your own life.
If you have any questions about what to do when someone says they’re too busy, I encourage you to leave it in the comments section.
I want to talk to you and share more lessons about this topic – and will respond to as many comments as I can – so please do get in contact!
It will be great to hear from you.