Behold my grand list of 31 reasons why it’s OK that not everyone is going to like you.
As a certified life coach, I spend a lot of time teaching this lesson to clients.
Honestly, the benefits of understanding this lesson extend way beyond 31 reasons. I could have gone on and on.
So, let’s jump into the list.
1. It Means You’re Doing Something With Your Life
As Elbert Hubbard famously said: “There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.”
2. You Can’t Please Everyone, So There’s No Point In Trying
This means you can focus on being yourself and enjoying your life. As the list goes on, we’ll explore why trying to be liked by everyone is harmful.
3. It Means You’re Being Genuine
If you occasionally upset people, this means you’re being genuine, honest and true to your personality. Most people will sense that energy and find it attractive.
4. You’re Not Withholding Your True Personality
Your best shot at trying to be liked by everyone would involve filtering all unique aspects of your personality, taking no risks and agreeing with everything that everyone says. All with a big fake smile on your face. This is no fun, you’re not free and you’re probably not comfortable. It can quickly get exhausting too.
5. It’s Better To Have Some People LOVE You
Ultimately, you have two choices. You can alter your personality to try and gain everyone’s approval. Or, you can be yourself, pick up some haters, but also attract people that absolutely ADORE you. We’ll explore why the latter is a better option later on.
6. It’s Easier To Find Your Tribe
When you accept that not everyone is going to like you and choose to be true to yourself, a lot of good things will happen.
Not only will those who don’t vibe with you disappear a lot faster, but those who are on your wavelength will realize that a lot quicker!! This makes it so much easier to build a tribe of true friends who absolutely ADORE you.
7. You Can Make A Difference With Your Unique Message
When you choose not to filter your personality or your beliefs, you can make a positive impact on the world. Your words are going to hit differently, compared to all the other sheep just trying to fit in.
8. No-one Likes People-Pleasers Anyway
So, you’ve chosen not to be a people-pleaser who bends over backwards trying to satisfy everyone. Maybe you think it’s a brave move, because everyone will like a people-pleaser.
Well, the truth is: no-one likes people-pleasers! When someone is being ‘fake’ trying to please us, we humans can sense that. Their energy feels a bit ‘off’ and it makes us uncomfortable. Perhaps we’ll tolerate that person, but we’ll never be EXCITED to hang out with them
Being yourself is actually the ‘safer’ move if you want to be liked.
9. You’ll Make An Emotional Impact
If you’re polarising, not everyone is going to like you. Most likely, you’ll either be LOVED or HATED. But you are going to make an emotional impact.
An emotional impact is essential if you want to inspire someone to date you, buy something from you, or even to remember you.
If you’re just trying to play it safe and be liked by everyone, you won’t get any of this. You’ll just have a bunch of acquaintances who think you’re ‘kind of okay”.
10. Most Haters Won’t Say A Damn Thing
The majority of haters won’t actually say or do anything to affect your life. So, who cares?
11. Criticism Makes You Stronger
That 1% of haters who do talk trash will make you emotionally stronger.
12. A Bit Of Criticism Is Good For The Ego
If you grew up getting everything you ever wanted, you turn into a bit of an egomaniac. You also tend not to appreciate the good times as much. Also, it’s common that you won’t be able to handle anything not going your way.
Haters, failure and criticism keep you grounded, making you a far more likeable person in the long run.
13. Haters Might Inspire You To Succeed
Some people are inspired by the idea of succeeding to ‘show the haters’. That’s not the healthiest mindset, but if it lights that fire you need to succeed, embrace it.
14. Most People Who Like You Won’t Say A Damn Thing Either
The truth is: most of us are too self-obsessed to take time out of their day and compliment someone, especially if we only think they’re ‘kind-of okay’. So, most people who like you will have no impact on your life either.
15. Most People Sit On The Fence Until You Show Your Hand
It’s rare for people to open up and be super-friendly within the first few moments of meeting you. Often, they’re going to wait for you to do that first. It’s a weird game of chicken we play to protect ourselves at the start of a new personal relationship.
This idea suggests that most people only don’t like you because you haven’t shown them enough friendliness.
16. People Can Change Their Mind
Whether someone likes you or hates you, it’s never set in stone. If someone doesn’t like you, it may just be they haven’t spent enough time with you yet.
17. Haters Are Usually The One With The Problem
What happy and emotionally healthy human would take the time to focus on someone they didn’t like? I don’t know any!
No, those who speak out to hurt others are generally suffering from low self-esteem themselves. They may think they’re helping. Deep down, they know they’re projecting their negative feelings to try and make someone else feel as bad as they do.
18. You’re Lucky To Be Alive And Healthy!
The odds of being born are considered to be one in hundreds of trillions. Imagine beating those odds and still being annoyed that not everyone is going to like you!
19. Consider The Odds Of Being Liked By Everyone You Meet
I’m not good enough with numbers to give a reasonable estimate on this, but it’s got to be way less likely than winning the lottery. So, why get upset?
20. It’s Nothing But A Lack Of Chemistry
Ice-cream and pizza do NOT taste good together. Does that mean ice-cream is awful? Does that mean pizza is terrible?
NO, they’re just a bad match.
You’re as awesome as a chocolate ice-cream on a hot day.
21. Self-Love Conquers All
Self-worth should come from within. When you learn to love yourself, others’ opinions pale in comparison.
22. You’re Probably On The Cusp Of Greatness
As Shannon L. Alder famously said: “You will face your greatest opposition when you’re close to your biggest miracle.
23. It Makes Our Friendships More Meaningful
If it was guaranteed that everyone loved you, would you appreciate each individual friend as much?
24. Winners Don’t Have Time To Focus On Haters!
If you have time to focus on a hater’s opinion, you’re probably not working hard enough!
25. We Wouldn’t Have Time To Appreciate Everyone Anyway
According to Dunbar’s Theory, the human brain only has the capacity to help us maintain 15 good friends, 50 friends and 150 meaningful contacts. There’s not enough room to have a strong personal relationship with everyone.
26. It’s The ‘Good Friends’ That Matter Most
A good friend can often make a far greater impact on our lives, then all your casual acquaintances or even those in our outer ciricle. As you long as you have a few ‘ride or die’ friendships, you should be all good.
27. The World Is Made Of Ying and Yang
If you cover your colleague’s shift, you annoy your family at home.
If you give your employee a raise, you annoy the guy who didn’t get one.
If you give everyone the day off, you annoy the customers.
Please realize and accept that not everyone is going to like you, no matter what you do! To help anyone feel happy, you’re inevitably going to tick someone else off.
The best we can do is what we feel is right.
28. If Someone Hates You, You Can Choose To Like Them Anyway
Imagine your five-year-old son is crying because you wouldn’t give him a second helping of ice-cream. Maybe he’s cursing or calling you names.
At this moment, he’s probably annoying you a bit, but of course you still love him. He’s just being a silly little kid.
A self-confident person could give their haters this same energy. Do you believe you’re strong enough to do that? It would free you and completely disarm them. At this point, it would be impossible to steal your happiness, no matter what they say.
29. All Publicity Is Good Publicity
The idea behind this phrase is that people will inevitably cultivate their own opinion about you and your product. So, anything that brings attention is a good thing, even if it’s negative.
30. You Are The Main Character In Your Own Story
The protagonist in any good story has an antagonist. It’s inevitable.
It’s also inevitable they’ll have some sort of problem they have to solve. But you don’t want anything like this in your own life?
The alternative is to play the background character who nobody really cares about. But is that a life worth living?
31. Playing It Safe Sucks
One of the most common regrets of the dying is ‘playing it safe’ and not living the life they really wanted.
A lot of participants in ‘regrets of the dying’ interviews admit they were too busy worrying what others would think. That’s heart-breaking. Don’t let it be you.
Any More Questions About Why It’s Okay That Not Everyone Is Going To Like You?
I hope you enjoyed this blog post – and that it has given you a new perspective on being disliked.
If you want to ask a question or express an opinion related to these words, please feel free to leave a comment below.
It’s great to hear from anyone who reads my writing – and it would be truly amazing to know your thoughts on this topic.
I’ll try my best to reply to everyone.