27 Clear Signs That She Is Scared Of Her Feelings For You (2024)

If you’ve ever encountered a woman and wondered “Is she scared of her feelings for me?”, this is the guide for you.

As an experienced life coach, I can confidently say it’s very common for people to be scared of how strongly they feel towards a partner. 

This guide will help you know when that’s happening to you.

Let’s dive right into it.

Is She Scared Of Her Feelings For Me

How Do You Tell If A Girl Is Scared Of Her Feelings For You?

A good courtship will involve pulls (showing interest) and pushes (showing disinterest). This is the foundation of flirting. The dance between masculine and feminine.

If one person just pulls, it can ruin the thrill of the chase. If one person just pushes, the other will stop pursuing altogether (as they should). 

However, as you’ll notice in the list below, people tend to deliver heavy pushes when they’re scared of falling in love. 

So, how is a man supposed to find the truth about a woman’s feelings?

The first step is to notice some signs she loves you. If she’s just pushing you away, this isn’t a partnership worth pursuing. However, if she’s pushing and pulling, it’s your role as a man to be patient with her anxious side. 

Comfort her, talk about her fears and work together to create a stronger bond of trust. It might feel like hard work, but this is what it takes when an anxious girl loves you. 

With that said, let’s now explore my list of signs she loves you, but is scared to admit it. 

1. She Avoids Being Vulnerable

A great relationship is about sharing the good times and bad times. However, when a girl is scared of her feelings for you, it’s common for her to hide all negative emotions, because she’s secretly afraid that being sad or frustrated will scare you away.

2. She’s Emotionally Distant

Does it seem like she’s constantly lost in negative thoughts, rather than enjoying the present moment with you? If so, ask why. If she refuses to tell, it may be that she’s afraid of showing too much emotion around you.

Alternatively, she might be worried about something else, and not want to burden you with her stress.

3. She Fidgets

Unrelaxed body language is another sign that something is on her mind. Again, if she refuses to tell you what’s up, it’s likely she’s scared of revealing her true emotions.   

4. She’s Not Expressive

Can she smile and laugh around you without filtering herself? When she laughs at your jokes, can she truly ‘let go’, or is she hiding something?

If she filters her emotions – whether positive or negative – that’s another indication of being  stuck in her head, maybe worrying about revealing her feelings.  

5. She’s Always Playing Mind Games When Texting

Most girls are aware of the idea that being too keen can scare men away. For that reason, a girl will often deliberately push you away in an attempt to keep your interest. 

A frustrating example of this is when they wait a long time to reply every time you message them. Or when she happens to ignore your message altogether. 

This is arguably one of the most annoying signs on this list! 

Related: Signs A Male Coworker Likes You

6. She Pretends Her Thoughts Are Elsewhere 

Ever had a girl ‘forget’ to message, call or meet for a date when she said she would? 

Yes, it’s possible that she’s absent-minded. It’s also possible that she ‘ghosted’ because she  doesn’t care enough about you.

However, if you two have already become close, it’s more likely that she’s playing games to keep you at arm’s length.  

7. She’s Fiercely Independent

If she refuses your help with various tasks, that’s another sign she’s scared to admit her feelings for you. Instead, she’s trying to show you (and herself) that she doesn’t need a man in her life.  

8. She Reacts Horribly To Rejection

How does she react to rejection from other people? Can she take it on the chin, or does it spark an emotional breakdown? If she has issues dealing with rejection in general, it’s more likely she’ll take care to be more guarded around romantic partners.

9. She Accepts Or Pushes A ‘Casual Relationship’ 

When a woman says she isn’t ready for a monogamous relationship, that’s one of the biggest signs she’s trying to protect her heart, especially when it would otherwise seem like she’s in love with you.   

Related: 31 Clear Signs That A Scorpio Man Has Feelings For You

10. She Doesn’t Say ‘I Love You’

The ‘L’ Word should be music to her ears. It’s one of the most obvious signs you love each other. If she refuses to say it – even though her behaviour shows signs she loves you – she could just be hiding her feelings.

11. She Doesn’t Post Your Pictures On Social Media

If a girl likes you, she’ll usually be excited to post the photos you took together. 

If you took a lot of photos together but she doesn’t post them, that could be another sign she’s trying to fight her feelings for you.   

12. She Avoids Introducing Her Family And Friends

It might feel like a big deal to introduce a beau to your family and friends, especially if you’re trying to hide your emotions. To let someone meet your inner circle means you have to admit that the relationship is serious. 

If you’re not meeting her family and friends, that indicates she’s worried about taking that leap. 

13. She Avoids Serious Conversations

Whenever you bring up something related to the relationship, your feelings or the future, an anxious girl will often search for a way to dodge the topic.

This is another part of her overall strategy to protect herself by keeping things casual.  

14. She’s Easily Triggered By You 

Does she constantly take things to heart and lose her temper at some of your smallest mistakes? There are a few explanations why she would act like this…

She’s either consciously pushing you away because she’s scared to fall in love. Or she’s insecure enough to take this mistake as a sign you don’t love her. 

15. She Becomes Controlling

If a deep connection has been built and she senses you slipping away, she may respond by trying to control your behaviour.

Maybe she begins to make ultimatums, or forces you to make promises. If you’ve noticed this happening, start talking about it with your partner immediately.

Yes, it’s one of the signs she loves you, but that doesn’t mean you should let it happen.

16. She Constantly Seeks Reassurance

This is another common behaviour within a long-term partnership. Even when a boyfriend does all he can to show he loves her, it’s never enough. She constantly needs more reassurance. 

17. She Accuses YOU Of Not Caring

As soon as she spots any potential evidence that you don’t care about her, she’ll jump on this and run with it, ignoring all evidence of supporting the opposite argument. 

As frustrating as this can be to deal with, it’s one of the clearest signs she loves you. If she wasn’t in love – and she really believed you didn’t care – she’d surely walk away.  

Related: 42 Signs He’s Pretending Not To Like You, But Really Does!

18. She Asks About Your Past Relationships

Often, when she wants to know about your previous relationships, it’s to find evidence that you can be a loyal guy.

Did you hurt your previous girlfriends, or were you sweet and loving the whole time? 

If she wants to talk about this, that’s a clear sign she’s worried of being hurt by you. For what other reason would she want to know? 

19. She Talks About How ‘Men Are Trash’

When we are scared of being hurt or disappointed, we protect ourselves by refusing to raise our expectations in the first place.

That’s what women are usually doing when they start talking about how ‘all guys are trash’. It can only be a self-preservation mechanism, as the point itself makes no logical sense. 

20. She Talks About How She Doesn’t Want Marriage Or Kids 

Yes, some women genuinely don’t see the point in getting married these days. Some hate the idea of having children. 

But most women are biologically wired to raise a healthy child in a stable family. 

When they go against this, it’s usually their fear of commitment talking.  

21. Her Actions Don’t Match Her Words

Don’t listen to what she says. Pay attention to what she does. Look at her body language too.  These are the best ways to know her intentions. 

22. Watch Her Eyes

Look in her eyes when you talk to her. They’ll reveal the truth, even more so than body language. 

Eye contact grants you the window to her soul. It’s a good habit to keep eye contact with everyone, for this reason. 

23. She’s Been Hurt By Previous Partners

We’re more likely to fear something that’s happened to us in the past.

So, if her previous partner did break her heart, she’s more likely to be guarded the next time she falls in love.  

24. She’s Been Hurt By Her Parents

Our parents are the first people we learn to love and trust. If they abuse us, abandon us or do anything to destroy that trust, it can be extremely traumatic. 

What’s more, it’s common to bring that trauma – and the fear of it reoccurring – into our romantic relationships too.   

25. Her Best Friend Is Extremely Welcoming To You

Girls talk a lot! If your woman truly loves you, she’s probably constantly talking to her best friend all about you. And you can bank on her telling the TRUTH about how she feels.

They probably know every intimate detail of your partnership, including how difficult their friend has made things for you.

So, if you do meet any of her best friends, watch how they treat you. If they’re cold, she’s probably told them you’re a piece of trash. 

If they’re welcoming, they know you’re a good guy and she’s the one being difficult. In this case, they may even pull you aside to reassure you that her friend really loves you.  

26. She Cheats

You might think it’s ridiculous to even suggest that someone could even think about cheating on a true love. But it does happen.   

Many of the behaviours in this list are a form of relationship self-sabotage. As silly as it may sound, a woman may engage in such behaviours to ensure that she’s not the one hurt by you.  Cheating is the ultimate self-sabotage – and it happens for this reason more than you might expect. 

I’m not saying you should put up with any of the frustrating behaviours in this list, especially if she’s messing around with someone else. These things matter! You have the right to set and stick to your own personal boundaries.  

However, I hope this article will at least help to increase your understanding of why women could be engaging in such actions.

27. She Tells You!

The most emotionally healthy of the signs that she loves you, but is scared.

It’s the fear of losing you that’s most likely to stop her from telling you how she feels.

Perhaps she fears being labelled as ‘crazy’ or ‘insecure’. But, in reality, owning your fears and sharing them is the most secure thing you can do.

If you’re a woman (or a man!) and you feel this insecurity within you, I urge you to face the music and tell your partner about it. 

Any Questions About These Signs She Loves You But Is Scared? 

Thanks for reading my list of 27 signs she loves you, but is afraid to admit it. I hope this advice can play a useful role in your personal life.

If you have any questions about these signs, leave a comment below. 

I would love to know what you think about this topic – and will try to respond every time someone leaves a comment.

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About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.