Raise your hand if you think life is unfair, stressful and you can never ‘catch a break’?
If you’re raising your hand right now, and you’re convinced that you’ve been given a ‘bad hand’ at life because nothing seems to go your way.
The good news is that, with a bit of self-coaching online, you could turn your life around and be the winner you’ve always wanted to be at work and at home!
It’s possible to be your own coach, as your coach in high school, giving yourself great advice and ‘pep talks’ so that you go out and do your best?
Well, sort of. See, that coach was teaching you things you still didn’t know, things about sports and life, but in a very generalized way.
Today, however, you’ve got years of experience and ‘know yourself’ better than anyone.
The only problem is, you just don’t always listen to the ‘good stuff’ and always focus on the negative, and that’s why you never seem to succeed as you desire.
So self-coaching online is more you being the coach, and giving yourself the advice that you know works for you.
Plus, if you know how to do it the right way (which I’m going to show you) you can effectively coach yourself, sort of like your own cheerleading squad, and start making positive changes that lead to positive things happening for you!
In short, self-coaching online can help you break old, unhealthy habits and replace them with new, positive habits, and lead you to a bigger, bolder and better life where you don’t have to raise your hand when someone asks if you think life is unfair!
Below are 9 Effective Strategies to Self-coaching Online that will get you out of your rut, boost your confidence and allow you to take back control and lead the life you deserve.
Let’s dive right into it.
1.How Do You Coach Yourself to Success? First, Take a Test
2.How Do You Self Coach Yourself – Write Down Your Thoughts, Feelings, Pains and Plans
3.Stop Thinking All Those Negative Thoughts
4.Self-coaching Questions – You Must Ask About the Limiting Beliefs that are Holding You Back
5.Stop Reflexively Reacting Based on Emotions
6.The Benefits of Self-coaching – Question Yourself to Create the Best Answers
7.Own Up to Your Mistakes, Foibles and Bad Habits – The Power of Self-Coaching
8.Self Celebrate Small Accomplishments and Wins
9.Nourish Your Soul with The Things That Make You Feel Best
10.Nourish Your Soul with The Things That Make You Feel Best
#1 How Do You Coach Yourself to Success? First, Take a Test
Here’s the thing; a very small proportion of people who are always negative, down, sad or ticked off might actually need therapy from a trained professional.
You can’t do that yourself, but you can coach yourself if you’re just ‘in a rut’. The best way to find out which side of the fence you’re on is to take a test, or in this case, a questionnaire, and see what the results tell you.
Personal development guru Joseph Luciani has developed a short questionnaire that’s great, and free to use, and you can find it here.
Take the test, see where you stand and, if you do fit the bill for self-coaching online, keep on reading!
#2 How Do You Self Coach Yourself – Write Down Your Thoughts, Feelings, Pains and Plans
To change yourself through self-coaching online, there’s one small task you need to do first; know yourself and what you’re thinking better.
The best way to do that is to be able to actually see those thoughts on paper (or a computer screen), so writing them down in some type of journal is a must. (Again, on paper or computer.)
See, writing things down has been proven for decades to create many positive outcomes. You can define your thoughts and see them more clearly.
You can motivate yourself, get your creative juices=flowing once again and, in many cases, you’ll see solutions to problems that you hadn’t seen before, and all because you simply write your thoughts down.
The best thing about writing down your thoughts and feelings is that it increases the likelihood that the positive things you want for yourself will actually happen because you’re putting it out there to the universe that you’re worthy of positive things.
#3 Stop Thinking All Those Negative Thoughts
This is easier than it sounds but, if you truly want to change your life, you have to change your thinking first.
Imagine a song that played over and over, singing about how much of a loser you are, how nobody likes you or how ugly you are.
At first, you would laugh but, after hearing that song 100, 1000 or 10,000 times, you would start believing it.
That’s what negative thoughts do, they slowly but surely convince you of that the negative things you keep repeating over and over in your head are true, and that’s why you need to stop them at the source.
I love this video explaining the critical inner voice and where it comes from more in details:
When a negative thought starts, nip it in the bud.
Think of something else, change what you’re doing, listen to a different song, anything you can to stop that negative voice in your head from rambling around in there, causing chaos.
Remember, it’s your head, and you can make it think whatever you like, so think positive thoughts instead, and toss those negative thoughts to the curb.
#4 Self-coaching Questions – You Must Ask About the Limiting Beliefs that are Holding You Back
As a negative thought, a ‘limiting belief’ is a belief that is false in some way due to a negative experience you’ve had or conclusion you’ve made that blew up in your face.
Once that belief is set in your mind, it’s very hard to shake, but shake it you must to grow and move forward!
To self-question these limiting beliefs, you must scrutinize them when they arise. For example, let’s say that you blame yourself for not getting that promotion at work because you think you ‘suck’ at your job and the boss hates you.
Is that really the truth? Are you bad at your job, or did you lose that promotion because the person who did get it had seniority?
Does the boss really hate you, or were they simply making a decision in the best interest of the company?
In most cases, you’ll see that, in reality, you are good at your job and your boss doesn’t have time to hate you because they’re running a company.
Here are a few examples of self-limiting beliefs.
- Extreme statements about yourself that are severe or harsh, like “I’m an idiot” or “I don’t deserve to be happy.”
- Generalizations like ‘Everyone is against me.”
- Using ’emotional reasoning’, where you make a conclusion that’s wrong when your emotions are running high
- Distorting the truth. Seeing the facts but believing something different.
- Downplaying positive things about yourself or others.
To change these self-limiting beliefs, you must question them.
- Is this an assumption or a fact?
- Do I have all the information I need to make this conclusion?
- If I asked someone I trust, would they agree with my conclusion?
- Do things really have to be like this?
- Is there something here that I’m not seeing or acknowledging?
#5 Stop Reflexively Reacting Based on Emotions
It’s true that nothing good ever comes from arguing with someone when you’re angry or upset.
The reason; words tend to fly out of your mouth rapid-fire and, sometimes, they are the worst words you could use in the situation and only serve to make it worse.
It’s much better to step back, take a breath and let things calm down first. Then, scrutinize your thoughts and choose your words based on the facts, not the fiction that boiled over in your angry mind.
For example, if your thought is ‘There’s no way I can do that job!”, step back, look at the situation and ask yourself the facts.
- Do you have the right training?
- Do you have sufficient experience?
- Do you know the subject matter and have a grasp on the basic concepts?
If you answered ‘yes’ to those questions, there’s a very good chance that, yes, you can do that job, and do it well, you were just reflexively reacting based on your emotion.
#6 The Benefits of Self-coaching – Question Yourself to Create the Best Answers
Normally, a coach will ask questions and wait for someone to give the correct answer.
In self-coaching online, however asking yourself questions (and, yes, writing them down) helps you focus on the solution, not the problem, and move towards that solution.
In effect, you become ‘solution-focused’ rather than focused on any negative aspects of a situation, asking yourself questions that lead to solutions rather than stress.
Here are a few great examples of questions you can ask yourself that will lead you towards solutions rather than conflict and stress.
- If I wasn’t afraid of what might happen, what would I do first to solve this problem?
- In the next 5 minutes, what can I do to get this started, finished or solved?
- If failure wasn’t an option, what’s the one thing I would do right now?
- What would I say if I knew that there wouldn’t be any repercussions?
#7 Own Up to Your Mistakes, Foibles and Bad Habits – The Power of Self-Coaching
Here’s another written list for you; write down all the mistakes you’ve made, all the bad habits you have and all your (perceived) shortcomings. Don’t hold back, just let them flow out.
The interesting thing that will happen here, if you’re being honest with yourself, is that you’ll start to let go of them.
It’s an interesting thing about humans that, when we keep something bottled up inside like a secret or a perceived shortcoming, they hold us back from achieving greatness.
On the reverse side of that however is, by writing them down and seeing them there on the page, the more we realize that they weren’t nearly as bad as we thought, with positive feelings being the result.
Ironically, the more you own up to not being perfect, the better person you become.
#8 Self Celebrate Small Accomplishments and Wins
Some might say that it’s never a good idea to pat yourself on the back, but the exact opposite is true.
In these hectic times, you can go for days, weeks and months without hearing a positive word from someone, even if you’re doing a heck of a job.
This can lead to self-doubt and self-loathing, both of which you do not need in your life, ever.
That’s why, when you finish a project, land a new customer, learn a new skill or something else where your work and dedication paid off, celebrate.
Treat yourself to a nice meal, buy yourself a small gift, treat yourself to a movie.
If possible, celebrate with your significant other and, if you really want to go all-out, write down your accomplishments and successes so that, when you’re feeling down or unappreciated, you can look at them to pick yourself right back up.
#9 Nourish Your Soul with The Things That Make You Feel Best
When your life is a hectic mess and you’re feeling stressed, sometimes you need to get away from the entire world and immerse yourself into something that soothes your soul and relaxes your mind.
From reading a good book to listening to your favorite album, taking a walk in the park or playing with your dog in the yard, if it makes you feel good, relieves your stress and puts a smile on your face, do it!
Now That You Know, How Do You Coach Yourself?
So, there you have them, 9 Effective Strategies to Self-Coaching Online.
All of these strategies answer the question ‘How do you coach yourself to success’, which is great, but what are the actual benefits of self-coaching online?
To answer that, here’s a shortlist of the excellent, life-changing, forward-thinking, powerful benefits of self-coaching.
- You become self-aware, by learning more about who you really are, what you truly believe and what your core values truly are.
The benefit here is that, the better you know yourself, the better you can handle negative situations, and the more opportunities will open up for you.
- Your focus, energy, and effectiveness increase significantly.
Without all that ‘garbage’ floating around in your brain, you’ll be far better equipped to handle everyday problems, get things done and improve your place in the world.
- It costs nothing but can give you everything.
The strategies I’ve given, if you put them into action, will change your life for the better.
Not bad for something that costs nothing.
In conclusion, self-coaching online is the key to turning your attitudes, and your life, around, expanding your mind and creating the kind of life that you want, and deserve, to live.
If you use the strategies I’ve given you today, positive results will follow in every facet of your life.
So, go ahead, coach, get in the game!