Some people think confidence is about talking over everyone, being openly bold, brash, or the center of attention. But that’s not true.
Deep, genuine, and lasting confidence is often quiet. And with the following strategies, you can develop quiet confidence too.
Let’s jump in!
1. Understand You’re Uniquely Purposed
Everyone has a purpose in this world. And a truly confident person knows that. That’s why they’re not afraid to express their true selves.
So before anything else, you must seek to truly understand that you’re here to benefit humanity.
It matters not that you’ve clearly defined your purpose. What matters is knowing you’re on the journey of discovering it day by day. And for that reason, you ought to be confident in your identity.
When deep down you know you have something to give to the world, you’ll seek to give it your all. You won’t try to compete with anyone but to compete with yourself to give your best.
And that my friend, is what gives you deeply assured quiet confidence.
2. Drop the Dignity-Self Mindset
As you might have realized from the above School of Life video, the way to confidence isn’t to put a spotlight on your amazing abilities, no. It’s about accepting your dumbest self.
Sounds counterintuitive, right? But that’s a surefire way to quiet confidence.
When you focus on your strengths, you tend to blow up your ego so much so that when it’s even slightly challenged, the ego-based confidence drops to zero.
But true confidence doesn’t backfire when challenges crop up. Genuine confidence can never fail you.
And to get such confidence, you ought to look in yourself and around you to see the truth – that humanity is filled with fools trying to live their best lives. And you’re no exception.
That revealing your foolery to others from time to time is not only okay but also a way of living a truly confident life.
Related: Characteristics Of Low Self-Esteem And Solutions
3. Accept the Good Bad and Ugly Parts of Yourself
Come with me on this acceptance exercise and master how to boost quiet confidence. But before we do this, commit to being honest with yourself. Okay, let’s go!
Which parts about you are good? Think of your strengths and see which of these apply to you as well:
- I have a great sense of humor
- I have a stunning body
- I tend to be influential
- I can be trusted with friendships
- I am creative at X
- I am patient with people
- I respect other people’s opinions
- I’m open-minded
- I’m generally flexible
- When I choose to commit, I never look back
Which aspects of you are bad?
- I am quite ugly
- I compare myself with others too much
- I tend to be lazy too often
- I am a people-pleaser
- I often start projects but fail to finish them
- I’m broke
- I am a chronic procrastinator
- I’m afraid of commitment
- I talk way more than I listen
What is plain ugly about you? It’s okay – everyone has their ugly sides.
- I’m racist
- I’m greedy
- I am willing to step over people to make it in life
- I am mean
- I can be very cruel to my enemies
- I usually have dark thoughts
With acceptance comes a willingness to change the changeable and learn to let go of the unchangeables. With this comes quiet confidence.
Related: The Ultimate Step-By-Step Guide to Gaining More Self-Confidence
4. Follow Your Interests
Many people follow the wrong things for the wrong reasons to please the wrong people. This basically means seeking things out of life that don’t bring fulfillment to yourself just because you want to please others.
For example, you might go to law school, study your brains off and get a luxurious corporate job just to prove your disbelieving family wrong while all you wanted was to build a successful hotel business to reach the souls of people with food.
See, that’s time wasted doing the wrong things and instead of giving you genuine quiet confidence, it eats your conscience with people pleaser anxiety.
Therefore, instead of wasting your time on things you don’t need, go after what stirs your heart.
5. Get To Understand Your Insecurities
True confidence comes with coming face to face with our worst monsters: insecurities.
Instead of fulfilling the wishes of your insecurities, ask yourself why they’re there in the first place.
Are you afraid of looking poor because your bullies made fun of your poverty?
What do you lie most about to protect your image? Why?
What’s the one thing you’re scared to own about yourself? Why?
Everyone at some point has had insecurities. But if you want to overcome yours and exude quiet confidence, you must understand the secrets behind the insecurities you experience.
Related: Best 15-Day Confidence Challenge
6. Naturally Express Your Interests
Do you love singing? Sing out loud and get criticized. Do you have boundaries you’re scared of enforcing? Tell those around you about them and stand your ground when they cross them. Wish your spouse could make love to you the way you like it? Tell them what you need.
Confidence comes from putting our interests out there whether there’s a guarantee they’ll be fulfilled or not. It’s about being honest about our needs, wants, ambitions, dislikes, and imperfections so we may attract those who truly want to be in our lives.
And this builds quiet confidence.
Related: Best Confidence Building Exercises Backed By Science
7. Surround Yourself with Quietly Confident People
You’ve probably heard it already. That you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
This also applies to gaining quiet confidence. If you spend time with people who exude quiet confidence, you’ll over time, with practice gain the ability yourself.
Here are signs of quietly confident people to emulate:
- They’re willing to share their opinion but are ready for correction from others
- They are willing to ask for what they want or need regardless of the response
- They don’t find the need to compare themselves to others
- They accept their vulnerabilities and aren’t afraid to show them
- They take responsibility for their mistakes
- They don’t crave external validation but celebrate their efforts and gifts themselves
- They’re ready to listen to others whenever it’s their turn
- They’re willing to take risks on goals they deem worthy
- They compare themselves mostly to the person they’ve been and who they wish to become
- They’re willing to ask for help
- They admit they don’t have all the answers
Whether you’ll find people confident in their own skin or be part of an online community pursuing and living confidence, you’ll have greater chances of developing quiet self-confidence yourself.
Related: Best Boosting Self Esteem Questions
8. Follow Through With Your Promises
A quietly confident person is used to doing what they said they’ll do. Instead of letting things slide, these truly confident people strive to keep every promise they give to themselves and others as well to the best of their ability.
This boosts their confidence since they can attest to themselves that they possess integrity. That they are doers and not mere talkers.
One little step at a time, a little progress in a day builds up quiet confidence throughout your lifetime.
9. Be Patient with Yourself
While quietly confident people are promise keepers, they don’t beat themselves up on failing on some issues either.
Due to acceptance of their human self, they strive their best and let go of things that didn’t work.
So should you if you want to be quietly confident. Even when you fail in being this person you want to become, promise yourself to try smarter and harder next time and let it go.
This patience boosts quiet self-confidence like you never imagined.
Related: Is Talking To Yourself Bad? 16 Scientific Reasons Why It Isn’t
10. Celebrate Yourself
As mentioned earlier, someone who possesses quiet confidence practices self-validation as a form of self-love.
They know their self-worth and have enough self-esteem to acknowledge their strengths and wins way before someone else does. This helps them stay confident enough to let others shine in compliments.
Do you want to practice the same habits as confident people? It’s time to start celebrating yourself.
11. Take Responsibility
Confident people are responsible people.
From accepting your mistakes and doing your best to provide for the needs and wants of those around you, take responsibility for your lifestyle and watch confidence build in you.
12. Listen to Understand
The most confident people are avid listeners.
When someone is speaking, they commit to not only listening to what the person says but also understanding what they mean so they can respond in the best manner possible.
Learn more about the levels of listening to develop the best skills for developing silent self-confidence.
13. Stay Curious
Confident people know they don’t know it all. They might be aware they know much but also know the only way to know more is to be curious.
So they’re passionately curious. And the more they learn, the more they gain self-confidence.
It’s time to develop the same culture if you want to become silently confident.
Related: Hypnotic Affirmations for Self-Confidence
14. Complement Others
Confident people aren’t scared of letting others know they’re good at something.
In fact, they’re comfortable in their spotlight and they love spotlighting others as well to boost their confidence.
Start honestly praising others more and see your confidence level skyrocket.
15. Remember Someone Else’s Reality Isn’t Yours
To avoid comparing yourself to others (which promotes insecurity), start reminding yourself of how different people’s realities are in life.
This helps you refocus on your reality so you can find answers to challenges you face much faster. And hence gain self-confidence swiftly.
Related: How To Help A Man With Low Self-Esteem — Based On Science
More on Developing Quiet Confidence
Still have questions on silent confidence? Let’s explore more facts briefly here.
Quiet confidence meaning
Quiet confidence means you’re deeply self-assured that you are enough and you’re doing your best to live a fulfilling life around your interests. It isn’t loud or boastful but a self-belief that you are becoming a better self by actively listening and responding to your needs and those of others.
When in quiet confidence is your strength – Benefits of quiet confidence
- It inspires confidence in others as well
- It leads to a richer life through personal growth
- It breeds a growth mindset for more success
- People tend to trust you
- When you exude confidence, you can easily solve conflicts
- It keeps stress away
- It promotes self-regard, self-assurance, self-acceptance, self-awareness, and self-trust which all ensure self-love
- It helps you achieve natural expression, financial and all kinds of life freedom
Related Articles on Self Confidence
What are signs of quiet confidence? What are the signs of a confident person?
- They’re willing to share their opinion but are ready for correction from others
- They are willing to ask for what they want or need regardless of the response
- They don’t find the need to compare themselves to others
- They accept their vulnerabilities and aren’t afraid to show them
- They take responsibility for their mistakes
- They don’t crave external validation but celebrate their efforts and gifts themselves
- They’re ready to listen to others whenever it’s their turn
- They’re willing to take risks on goals they deem worthy
- They compare themselves mostly to the person they’ve been and who they wish to become
- They’re willing to ask for help
- They admit they don’t have all the answers
Can you be quite confident? Can you be confident reserved?
You can exude quiet confidence when you’re truly confident. You won’t need to be the center of attention, loud, or boastful but possessing the self-awareness that you are practicing the best version of yourself helps you sit back and enjoy the confidence you have within you.
Why is quiet confidence attractive?
Quiet confident people show strength and self-trust in themselves which allows others to feel comfortable around them. They don’t need to talk over others or be right always for them to feel content. For these reasons, others find them both physically and intellectually attractive.
How to have quiet confidence
Need a recap on the strategies for gaining quiet confidence? Here we go!
- Understand You’re Uniquely Purposed
- Drop the Dignity-Self Mindset
- Accept the Good, Bad, and Ugly Parts of Yourself
- Follow Your Interests
- Get To Understand Your Insecurities
- Naturally Express Your Abilities
- Surround yourself with confident people
- Follow Through With Your Promises
- Be Patient with Yourself
- Celebrate Yourself
- Take Responsibility
- Listen to Understand
- Stay Curious
- Complement Others
- Remember Someone Else’s Reality Isn’t Yours
Living in Silent Confidence
Quiet confidence is an admirable intellectual and emotional achievement anyone would love to attain.
Are you determined to be quietly confident? To not need anyone knowing or praising your abilities?
Then leave a comment below telling us which confidence-building tactic you’re going to focus on. Thank you for reading!
