The Ultimate Step-By-Step Guide to Gaining More Self Confidence

Simple Psychological Methods to Grow Your Self Confidence Instantly

How do you want others to believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself?

If you’ll agree with me, gaining more self-confidence will be more important to your success than any other thing.

You can have all the skills and talents of this world, it’s fine!

Still, lacking self-esteem will be like driving through life with your handbrake on, and that’s according to Maxwell Maltz.

What if you’re lacking in this regard?

As it turns out, gaining more self-confidence is something you can build.

In this article, I’ll show you some simple psychological methods that will help you grow your self-confidence.

Want to unlock your inner genius for real success in life?

Well, here you go!

More Self-Confidence
Source: (johnhain)

Related: 32 Characteristics Of Low Self-Esteem And Solutions

Self-Confidence: Definition Matters

What is Self-Confidence?

Well, there are several ways to describe what self-confidence really is, but I love this Dr. Ivan Joseph’s TEDxRyersonU definition.

Dr. Ivan is the head coach and athletic director of the varsity soccer team at Ryerson University. While speaking on The Skill of Self Confidence, he simply described self-confidence as

the ability or belief in yourself to accomplish any task, no matter the odds.

Here’s the deal;

In the face of adversity and difficulty, self-confidence will empower you to push on.

Without a substantial level of self-confidence, you’ll be hearing things like;

  • Oh! I’m shy!
  • I can’t do that!
  • I’m not that good!
  • I’ll never do good, etc

On the other hand, self-confidence brings out your inner powerful person.

It reminds you of the go-getter that you are.

It brings you back to the right path when you’re about losing it.

It spurs you to success in

  • business,
  • sports,
  • academics, and
  • life, in general.

More Self-Confidence

Related: Best Boosting Self Esteem Questions

Self-Confidence Can Be Learned

Are you struggling with self-belief? No problem!

As it turns out, self-confidence is not a talent.

It is more of a skill because you can actually learn it.

It can be trained to become a part of your life.

If you are able to grow more self-confidence successfully, you’ll be able to reach new heights you never assumed were possible.

You’re probably wondering what the magic is?

Good news! It’s no magic!

It all comes down to a few simple, mind-blowing psychological methods.

Here they come.

More Self-Confidence
Source: (johnhain)

Related: Best 15-Day Confidence Challenge With Lasting Results

Repetition! Repetition! Repetition!

Don’t expect to be self-confident until the task at hand no longer seems novel or new to you.

Malcolm Caldwell called it the 10,000-hour rule.

Repeating tasks repeatedly means you’ll be going through pressure, and you know what they say?

Pressure builds diamonds.

The more you practice over and over, the nearer you get to perfection.

But, wait, there’s even more;

Never Give Up!

The problem with repetition is the fact that many of us bail out after the first experiences with failure.

Rumor has it that Edison tried between 1,000 to 10,000 times before the first light bulb could glow.

JK Rowling is another worthy example, 12 or 13 tries before one publisher agreed to publish her Harry Potter book that turned out a best-selling series.

Maybe it shouldn’t be repetition alone.

Without being able to persist, it will be difficult to continue trying.

Here comes another secret to becoming more self-confident; Persistence!

Related: 102 Hypnotic Affirmations For Self-Confidence

Persistence is Key!

You were probably wondering how hard it is to continue trying in the face of failure and obstacles.

The thing is that being persistent is makes all the difference.

You see;

Aside from repeating things one or two times,  only a few will really persist and keep it going after repeated failures.

We’ll try and fail at different points in our lives.

Rather than quit in the face of adversity, confident people look back at these and see them as learning experiences.

Far more than repeating tasks and projects a few times, persistence will keep you growing in self-confidence until the day everything becomes all too natural for you.

Related Articles on Self Confidence

The Secret to Self-Confidence – Positive Self Affirmations

Here is another secret to growing more self-confidence;

Positive Self Affirmations!

We all seem to have this self-tape that plays in our head.

As an example, anyone who has put on a pair of pants to go shopping this week can testify to this. For most women, they are like;

Damn, I look kinda fat in these pants

Men are like;

Look at my flabby, no-muscle shape

We all have this negative self-talk going on in our head.

These thoughts may come telling us we aren’t good enough.

Since it is a known fact that our thoughts wield great influence on our actions, negative self-talks like these will affect your self-esteem and self-confidence.

What’s good?

Related: Self Concept Vs Self Esteem And Self Efficacy

No More Negative Self-Talk

No More Negative Self-Talk
Source: (geralt)

To bolster your self-esteem and gain more self-confidence, you’ll need to rid your thoughts of all negative self-talk.

This is important because our actions are often a reflection of our self-image.

“Affirmations are a powerful tool to deliberately install desired beliefs about yourself.”  -Nikki Carnevale

Start by telling yourself.

Positive Self-Affirmation
Source: (lavnatalia)

Related: Self Respect Vs Self Esteem – What’s The Difference?

Write Your Personal Self-Confidence Letter

I can do it because I can do it!

To begin with, there’s actually nothing holding you back from reaching that goal!

Muhammad Ali did it this way.

He needed nobody to tell him he was the greatest.

He told himself all the time.

This should not be seen as false pride. Rather, it is reminding yourself how strong and limitless you are.

Write your personal self-confidence letter in light of the above, you’ll, therefore, need to regularly remind yourself in the quiet moments.

Write it down on a list.

When life’s mistakes and challenges seem like they are getting to you, bring out and read your self-confidence letter to reaffirm your uniqueness and reassure your confidence.

Dr. Joseph Ivan keeps a self-confidence letter which he wrote to himself.

In this TED talk, he said;

“It was my own brag sheet. My own letter about the things I was proud of. Because, there are moments and we’ll all experience them in our career, in our life and our job hunting, in our relationships, when we are not feeling good about who and what and where we are.”

Similarly, you can try something like that too.

Positive self-affirmations and reaffirmations like these will boost your person to gain more self-confidence.

In addition to the examples above, Lance Armstrong, like other athletes, would usually keep a bandage on his arm.

His was not just a brand.

He would usually switch the ’Livestrong’ band from one arm to the next to remind him who he was; to live strong!

Related: How To Help A Man With Low Self-Esteem — Based On Science

Best Parenting Advice Ever

As parents, we tend to tell our kids what they shouldn’t do.

Don’t do this, don’t do that…

But with this behavior, we weaken their self-confidence tremendously.

Dr. Ivan Joseph counters this strategy with some of the best parenting advice I’ve ever heard.

He says to “Catch them when they are good!”

This means whenever a child behaves in a good way, praise them.

Point out what they did especially well.

This leads to a positive feedback loop where your child increases their good behavior and at the same time you boost their self-confidence.

Best Parenting Advice Ever
Source: (3643825)

Awesome or?

Related: 22 Best Confidence Building Exercises Backed By Science

Start to See the Fantastic You

Here is the part you have to examine how you visualize yourself.

Do you see the picture of an inaccurate, struggling person?

Or that of a strong person who is on the verge of achieving his or her goals?

Self-images matter a lot as we’ve said previously.

While people with low self-confidence usually have a poor perception of who they are, and what they do, these perceptions are usually inaccurate.

“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.”

-Malcolm S. Forbes

To gain more self-confidence, you’ll need to start interpreting information in your own way.

You’ll need to start visualizing yourself in a new light.

Particularly, you should start seeing the fantastic you achieving goals and breaking boundaries.

Related: Ways To Stop Depending On External Validation

Napoleon Hill’s Advice

What the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve

So, says the powerful quote

To begin with, start seeing yourself as equal to others rather than being disadvantaged or less deserving.

This shift will have to be on a mental level.

You don’t want to continue seeing other persons as better than you are.

Marilyn Monroe summed it up when she said;

wanting to be someone else is a waste of your time.

  • Start seeing in you the person you want to be.
  • Remind yourself how great you are and how you can do just about anything you set out to do.
  • Repeat and persist even in the face of the greatest challenges and difficulties.

To summarize everything, there’s no magic to achieving more self-confidence.

So long as you’re able to free yourself from the psychological bondage of negative self-talks and poor personal perception, the combination of repetition and persistence will help make the new, more self-confident you.

This way, it will be easier to tackle the greatest challenges and difficulties that life may bring for you.

Related: Self-Worthiness – 26 Ways To Boost Yours Backed By Science

Video of Dr. Ivan Joseph – The Skill of Self-Confidence

Dr. Ivan Joseph is a six-time coach of the year. He is an expert when it’s about self-confidence. His speech is highly motivating because he gives simple tools that you can easily implement into your daily life. Take care that you don’t go through the roof after watching. ?

Follow these psychological methods step-by-step and get more self-confidence immediately. It was never easier to boost your self-confidence.

If You Feel Stuck, Search Help

If you have one of the following thoughts after reading my article:

  • I feel overwhelmed
  • I can’t implement the techniques on my own
  • I feel too exhausted to start

You could think about hiring a online life coach or career coach to support you in making the right steps.

Important Note

Every article I write is intended to help you with:

  • questioning and reflecting your own view of the world
  • understanding why you are looking at the world like you do
  • finding different perspectives
  • going on a meta-level and reflecting on the consequences of your view

However, with every sentence of writing, I create another view of how things “really are”.

Even if I do this with the best intentions, please examine critically if this construction of the reality is helpful for you as an individual person in your special situation.

About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.