Why Do I Catch Feelings So Fast? 21 Reasons & Ways To Change (2024)

You know how it goes. You meet a new person and you start to get all giddy like a teenager with a crush.

Why Do I Catch Feelings So Fast
Photo by Wolfgang Hasselmann on Unsplash

Then, you realize you’re falling for them way too fast and before you know it, you’re already in love.

Here are reasons and ways to change why you catch feelings so fast.

Let’s dive in.

1. A Fear Of Loneliness

When you fear loneliness now or in the future, you might lower your expectations. You’ll magnify the details of the attraction you’re seeing in the other person and express promises of love in advance.

Those people who link the concept of happiness with life as a couple may be more vulnerable at the risk of falling in love quickly.

2. In Love With The Idea Of Love

Infatuation with the idea of love can be a philosophy of life rather than a truly grounded experience.

The butterflies in the stomach and the heady feeling of a new attraction are what some people live to yearn for and when those sensations settle down, they move onto another attraction that can bring those feelings again.

3. Not Learning From Experience

Many people live the same experience over and over at different times with different protagonists.

Love is not only a feeling, but it is also a reflection. After a disappointment in love, it’s beneficial to meditate on what happened in order to draw some conclusions about vital lessons that can be put into practice from then on. 

Although, when you avoid this reflection phase, you prolong past mistakes over and over..

4. Low Self-Esteem

When you love yourself less, you look for happiness externally. You try to reaffirm your own value by feeling attracted to someone.

It confuses attraction and liking with love itself. This low self-esteem promotes the bonds of emotional dependency.

5. No True Friends

As humans, we’re social by nature, you require this environment of belonging to develop fully on an emotional level. The bonds of friendship fosters self worth.

However, when you feel alone, you’re more vulnerable to the risk of falling in love quickly by confusing love with infatuation.

6. Parental Neglect

When your needs don’t get met as a child, you might spend your life looking for someone to compensate you for the affection and love you didn’t get in your childhood.

You’re dealing with abandonment issues, and you’re constantly trying to find someone to represent parental figures who’ll love you honestly, protect you from the rest of the world, and most importantly, someone who will never go away and leave you. 

7. Physical Appearances

It’s okay to feel attracted to someone’s physical appearance, but you should never fall in love with those things you see on the outside.

Physical appearance is what draws you to a person, but character and personality are what make you fall honestly in love with that person. And it takes time to know those other qualities. You can’t get to know them immediately after the very first date.

8. Choose To Think With Your Heart – Not Your Butterflies

When there’s a battle between your heart and your mind your heart often wins. However, tuning into the truth your heart gives you is a skill.

Take into consideration what your logic is telling you, however learn to weigh it in your heart. Catching feelings with all those butterflies in your stomach can be confused with your heart saying it’s love.

Just because they’re nice to you and they look truly amazing doesn’t mean they’re your soulmate.It’s not okay to fall in love immediately with that person.

So practice the skill of tuning into your heart. If it’s not right, your heart will let you know that.

Related: Why Do I Zone Out So Much? 12 STOP Strategies

9. Learn The Difference

Know the difference between falling in love with someone and simply liking someone, between true love and infatuation, sharing strong feelings for someone, and being attracted to someone.

Just being attracted by a guy’s physical appearance, then texting your best friend that you fell in love at first sight is not real love.

More than likely it’s nothing more than just pure attraction, infatuation, and lust.

10. Needing Someone To Complete You

If you feel like you’re incomplete, like there’s a part of you missing, or how you need to find someone to fill that gap, you’re looking in the wrong place.

That’s too big a void for any human to be expected to fill. God made us complete and He made us perfect just the way we are. What you’re looking for is actually within you.

Another person can only be there to love, support, and encourage you to be a better person and to help you fill your own void.

11. Emotional Insecurity 

It might be hard to admit to yourself but if you’re emotionally immature it can be one of ​​​​the reasons you’re catching feelings so fast and jumping from relationship to relationship so often.

Understand your own feelings before you can ever understand anyone else’s feelings.

12. Not Knowing Yourself 

Know and understand yourself before you can attempt to know or understand someone else. Don’t look for your ‘other half’ because that doesn’t exist outside yourself. 

Put your focus on what you require to feel whole and grounded first.

13. Mental Health

If you’re struggling with depression and anxiety, making you feel very empty inside, understand that no one will be able to fill that feeling.

If you found someone who makes you feel good about yourself and your life, that doesn’t mean you must catch feelings for that person.

The  peace, joy, and inner calmness you’re missing can only be brought back into your life by you.

14. Low Standards

Low self-worth can mean you think you’re unworthy of being loved, making you lower your standards. 

If someone behaves nicely and treats you well, you might instantly catch feelings for that person. Your need for validation from others could be the main culprit of your catching feelings so fast.

15. Afraid Of Commitment

If you jump from relationship to relationship and fall in love way too soon, maybe it’s all because you’re actually afraid of commitment.

A long-term relationship can feel scary. So some people will catch feelings, get scared, break up and get back into the dating pool to start the same cycle over again.

16. Love At First Sight

Perhaps you always believed in love at first sight, kind of like a fairy tale. Maybe you believe everyone’s destined to find their soulmate and that every person has their own better half.

But ask yourself this, do you know the difference between falling in love with someone and simply liking someone?

Love is accepting their flaws and being attracted to them the way they are. It’s about connecting with the other person on a deeper, more emotional level and having the spark that makes you see yourself with that person long term.

17. Nurture Your Relationship With You

Neglecting the relationship you have with yourself can really affect your self-love.

You’ll always look for someone who will love you unconditionally and honestly and who’ll accept you for who you are and that’s fine. But while you’re looking for that true love, you’re missing the one place where it has always existed – inside you.

Rediscover it again by shifting the focus back onto yourself. Find ways to fall in love with yourself again.

18. Take A Step Back When You start Catching Feelings

It’s fairly easy to lose yourself when you’re in love. If you want to stop catching feelings fast, you pause for a second and pull away to give yourself enough time and space to think about your emotional state.

Taking a step back can sometimes be a step forward. You can achieve that by focusing on the things that attracted you to that person in the first place and think about whether that and the other person’s values are valid enough for you to fall in love with them.

19. What Does Love Actually Mean To You

What’s the first thought that comes to your mind when you think about love in general? Do you think about the qualities your partner must possess to make you love him or her, or do you think about a specific way that falling in love should be?

Answering these questions is a process and everything depends on you. You need to fall in love with yourself before you fall in love with someone else.

20. Delay Physical Intimacy

Delaying physical contact until you feel comfortable to be yourself around that person can certainly improve and strengthen your shared emotional connection

Being intimate can only lead to more confused feelings. By holding off, you can build some important foundations of a healthy relationship, such as effective communication and loyalty.

21. Take It Slowly

Don’t jump the gun and catch feelings with someone before you have the opportunity to get to know the person inside.

Otherwise, if you end up hurt or disappointed, there’s no one to blame. There’s simply no need to hurry anything.

What Does It Mean When You Catch Feelings Fast?

Catching feelings is slang for having or developing romantic feelings for someone. The term usually implies unwelcome romantic attachments from one of the parties in the relationship.

Catching feelings is more than just taking a shine to someone—it’s doing so in an unexpected, even unhealthy way. Here are some signs you’ve crept into the catching feelings territory.

  • Daydreaming: Thinking about the person after only messaging on a dating app.
  • Planning a future after only one date: Thinking about how you’ll spend their birthday or the holidays together.
  • Stressing about texting: Or, asking others how to respond and sweating the other person’s response before a real relationship has been established
  • Missing their company: Spending your time counting down the hours or days until you see them again, even if you’ve only met a few times.
  • Buying gifts: Picking up small items you think would bring them joy, even if you only know a few of their interests.

How Do I Stop Catching Feelings Easily?

Giving and receiving love are some of the most magnificent experiences you can have. Just be cautious not to rush things. 

Stop Catching Feelings
Photo by Nadine Shaabana on Unsplash

Here are some tips to help you avoid catching feelings too fast and can definitely help you from getting hurt again.

1. Know What You Want

Make sure that you’re clear about what you want before jumping into a relationship. 

Have an idea of what you’re looking for in a partner and what you want out of a relationship. You don’t want to get too attached too soon only to find out that the person doesn’t share your values or beliefs in life.

2. Don’t Be Desperate

When you want to know why do I catch feelings so fast, it could be because you’re too desperate to find it.

Wanting to be in a relationship doesn’t mean you should get yourself into one as soon as possible. Instead, balance between what you want and what’s right for you first.

3. Don’t Have Expectations

The thing about first dates is that you tend to expect so much from them, and if things don’t go according to plan, you’ll feel like a failure.

You don’t have to immediately be catching feelings for your date because you had a good time with them or because they are compatible with you.

4. Stop Looking For Your Soulmate

Let your soulmate come to you. You could start to think that everyone you date might be the one.

The truth is, you can waste a lot of time and emotions with people who you’re just not compatible with. 

5. Fill Your Time Focusing Elsewhere

If you don’t have anything to do then you’ll spend all your time thinking about them. Then, you’ll become infatuated and you’ll start to obsess.

So to avoid becoming too attached, have other interests to focus on and other friends to spend time with..

6. Lighten Up On The Pressure

If you put pressure on the relationship, there’s a big chance you’ll make them feel smothered.

For example, if you’re texting your date all the time and giving off signs of being desperate for them to like you back, then there’s a big chance that they’d feel suffocated by all the attention.

7. Nurture Your Relationship With Yourself

It can be as simple as taking a breath with a focus on dissolving stress and boosting inner peace.

But with the turbulence of emotions that come with facing the pain of falling in love so easily, your self-esteem and confidence could be pretty low. So reconnect with yourself through the breath, inquiry and curiosity.

What Is The Average Time To Catch Feelings?

Every individual’s pacing will inevitably be unique to them and the particular relationship they’re in.

However, here’s what research and experts say about how long it takes to fall in love on average.

According to a 2013 survey conducted by YouGov and eHarmony, men take an average of 88 days (about three months) to tell their partner they love them, whereas women take an average of 134 days (four and a half months).

They also found 39% of men say “I love you” within a month of dating someone, compared to 23% of women.

A 2011 study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology surveying small groups of undergraduate students found similar results. On average:

  • Men think about confessing love 97 days (a little over three months) into a new relationship.
  • Women think about confessing love 149 days (about five months) into a new relationship.
  • Men think it becomes acceptable to confess love starting one month into a relationship.
  • Women think it becomes acceptable to confess love starting six months into a relationship.

Why Do I Catch Feelings So Fast Guy?

Some men fall in love quickly because it is easier for them to know they have found the right partner. Compared with women, who are biologically predisposed to be pickier when selecting a partner.

When a man’s falling in love he’ll let you know. You’ll notice: 

  • He cares about you more
  • He wants to spend more time with you
  • He’s genuinely interested in getting to know you better
  • He’s also emotionally available and willing to share his feelings with you

Physical contact plays a huge part in creating a special connection with someone. Although, neither guys nor women fall in love just by kissing someone. 

For a guy to stop catching feelings so fast, try taking more care of yourself, practice more self love. You tend to fall in love quickly when you love yourselfs less, therefore you need a partner to help you fill that void.

Why Do I Catch Feelings So Fast For A Girl?

There are so many of us who just hate to be single and who are jumping from relationship to relationship only to fall way too easily in love.

There is something missing in your own life that you’re trying to have filled by someone else. Think of what a tall order that is for someone, basically a stranger, to be expected to fill.

In order to stop catching feelings too quickly, and avoid a possible heartbreak, have the self awareness to realize what triggers your heart to catch feelings for another person so soon.

Why Do I Catch Feelings For Everyone?

If you’re the type that catches feelings fast it could be for a variety of reasons. However, if you catch feelings for a friend or someone you’ve known for a long time, it could be a genuine love connection.

If you often catch feelings for people after only knowing them for a very short time, you likely derive your self-worth from your relationships.

You might subconsciously believe you’re worth more as part of a couple, and become excited and hopeful of the idea of becoming more worthy when you decide on the person who will do that for you.

Catching feelings is absolutely normal and is a sign of feeling attracted to and connected to another person, however, catching feelings can be problematic if a person chronically feels attracted to people yet is unwilling to pursue a healthy relationship.

So having honest feelings about taking care of your own well being first, without paying too much importance on having a partner can help you retain your own self respect and realize you aren’t a child anymore.

Also, people who tend to daydream about the future have a tendency to catch feelings because they also believe in the promise of a brighter, happier tomorrow as a married man or woman, which drives them to attach their happiness to a potential partner very early on.

This is part of an emotional emptiness which you’re trying to fill with another person.

Thinking you can’t live a day without your partner is just your head playing tricks on you. Genuine, real love is much more than just the honeymoon stage.

Any relationship coach will agree that falling in love is a process, and like any other process to be beneficial, it needs time. So take things slowly.

It’s a journey with many obstacles in the way that can be rather challenging and difficult. The beauty of it though, is overcoming those hurdles with your partner and growing together as a couple.

If you catch feelings so fast that your emotional immaturity interferes with a true romantic connection and you’d like to change that, consider a relationship coach to guide you.

We invite you to share this post with someone else who could benefit from this information, if you’ve enjoyed it. Please also, leave us a comment.

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About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.