21 Facts – What Does Cheating Say About A Person? (2024)

You know the cliche, “Once a cheater, always a cheater”.

If a couple isn’t suitable for each other, leave the relationship before you develop feelings for someone else and begin a new relationship. It’s the morally right thing to do.

Read on to learn 21 facts for what does cheating say about a person?

Let’s dive right into it.

What Does Cheating Say About A Person
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1. Impulsive

Not all affairs are planned out, some are spontaneous experiences that even the cheater couldn’t have anticipated.

Now, lacking in impulse control might just be a trait of someone’s personality, but it could also stem from a mental health issue leading to a propensity to cheat. It’s also known as Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD).

The truth is, anyone who lacks control over their impulses generally doesn’t give much thought to the consequences.

2. Emotionally Immature

Some people cheat because they’re emotionally immature to handle the commitment of a long term relationship and responsibility that comes with being in a relationship.

Without the maturity to deal with it, they look to escape and that generally takes the form of messing around in secret.

They act on impulse rather than a rational and conscious decision. This often means they struggle to take accountability for their actions.

Related: How To Forgive Yourself For Cheating: 21 Helpful Perspectives & Tools

3. The Victim Role

Even though they’re the one who cheats, they still see themselves as the victim.

They feel sorry for themselves if something’s not going their way in the relationship and look to someone else to tell their sob story to.

They won’t accept their role in breaking up the relationship or hurting their partner, and that can be very tough for their SO to deal with.

4. Commitment Issues

Commitment-phobes seem great until the relationship starts heating up, and then they dash for the door.

Sometimes that door leads to another person. This is a destructive behavior because deep down these people crave security, love and affection.

5. Insecurity

To feel insecure leads some people to constantly seek approval and attention.

If you’re not giving it to them in spades and buckets, they’ll soon be looking for validation elsewhere.

Some individuals still carry scars from past relationships, and this is a standard and sad part of a cheater’s personality.

These insecurities are such a big deal, they feel trapped with their demons. They may want to do the right thing, but there’s an urge, a need, to feel the validation they so crave. Even to the point where they jeopardize future relationships.

Related: 21 Signs To Know When To Walk Away After Infidelity

6. Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem and insecurities walk hand in hand.

This is one of the most common reasons why men cheat, even though most of them would never admit it. They hook up with another woman thinking about how it’ll boost their ego.

We all have some insecurities and imperfections but you don’t need to be reassured by others that you’re worthy. 

They don’t realize that every time they ruin a relationship or the trust of a loved one, their self-esteem sinks even lower.

7. Narcissistic

Narcissists crave attention and validation from others, which also means that they have fragile and low self-esteem and that’s why this person’s character is prone to cheating.

If you have healthy communication and a healthy relationship, your partner will be your biggest support in improving your self-worth.

They’ll embrace your flaws and imperfections, showing that you could do the same.

8. Unhappy In The Relationship

It’s not an excuse, yet it is a common reason that cheaters admit when they get caught.

Unhappiness can lead to a breakdown in communication, affection both physical and verbal, and then to resentment and frustration.

Instead of leaving the relationship respectfully, some seek comfort in the arms of someone else.

9. Selfishness

A selfish person can have a strong sense of entitlement.

The cheating partner puts themselves first, in every situation and is willing to hurt those they claim to love, if it means satisfying their own needs.

There will be plenty of other warning signs that come before that. Look at how they treat people daily, their interactions will give away this cruel trait.

10. Lying With Ease

Depending on the length of their affair, it’s probable that they’ve become expert liars to hide all the evidence.

They don’t only lie to their romantic partner, they also lie to their family, best friends and co-workers. They lie to the people who mean the most to them.

It takes a lot of energy to keep up with hiding the fact that they’re meeting up with someone else. Plus all the text messages, phone calls, receipts from dinners out, the changing of clothes to get rid of lingering perfume/aftershave smells!

A careless, clumsy person wouldn’t get away with cheating. 

Related: Common Marriage Reconciliation Mistakes To Avoid After Infidelity

11. Respect

Some people cheat when they lack self respect. That’s why such people seek comfort from others, people who’ll praise them and help them with those self-respect issues.

When it comes to their partner, they also don’t have respect for them. It’s simply not possible to respect someone and still do such a thing behind their back. 

Knowing they’ve lost some of their values will lead to losing more of their self-respect too.

They’ve stopped believing in themselves. They feel worthless. Even if you’re the best partner in the world to them, they’ll look down on themselves.

12. Thrill Seeking

Some people get a kick out of the unpredictable nature of sneaking around. A one night stand playing with fire, getting close to being caught but then evading the truth one more time.

It’s a deep rooted behavior controlled solely by the thrill of the risk. It turns them on as much as getting physical with someone else.

Thrill-seekers like this will usually take risks in other areas of their lives, too. They’re reckless, and they feed off the emotional gratification.

Related: Falling Out Of Love After Infidelity: 21 Easy Ways

13. Indecisive

Making concrete decisions requires one to have a strong willpower. This is something many individuals lack.

Many human beings cannot decide on which individual to stay faithful to.

Their moral values for what’s right and wrong doesn’t kick in when they’re faced with a steamy situation involving someone outside of their relationship.

Quite often, if alcohol is in the mix, the lack of self awareness may make it even harder to make good decisions, leaving people badly hurt.

14. Appreciation And Gratitude

Betraying the trust of someone you love shows that you don’t appreciate the faith and time they’ve invested in you.

You don’t have gratitude for all this person’s relationship has done to support you on an emotional, even physical level.

When your partner cheated, the emotional burden of feeling like your partner truly doesn’t care about you or value you can be heavy.

Sometimes a partner’s infidelity is because they don’t feel appreciated by their partner.

Just as they crave affection and admiration, they may also yearn to feel appreciated. If they don’t get it from their partner, they’re more likely to start looking elsewhere for it.

What Does Cheating Say
Photo by Khamkéo Vilaysing on Unsplash

15. Sincerity

No matter how many times a cheater apologizes, their love isn’t as sincere as you thought, especially if they cheat multiple times.

Mistakes happen, even though it’s not condonable, if it’s a one time incident and admit it straight away, their feelings may be genuine. Even so, they’ve crossed the line.

16. Self-Centered

It is no secret that all cheaters are mighty inconsiderate.

Before, during, and sometimes after they cheat, they don’t think about how cheating is going to affect their loyal partner’s feelings or how long the damage caused can last.

They usually see themselves as victims and believe that they’ve been wronged and robbed of any opportunity they could’ve used to do what’s best for them.

17. Cowardly

The sheer act of cheating is cowardly. If you can’t break up with your partner before you decide to be with someone else, it’s not because you love your partner, it’s only because you don’t have the guts to do that.

You cheat on them in secret, hoping they’ll never find out. However, don’t think that you’ll get away with it because sooner or later, the truth comes out.

Related: 21 Best Ways To Deal With Guilt Of Cheating

18. Avoidance

If you’ve found some evidence of cheating, then try to confront them about it, they’ll try to divert the topic or avoid the conversation.

It’s a major red flag that they’re absolutely hiding something that they don’t want you to know.

19. Blame Game

Cheaters try to justify their actions and as a result, they won’t hesitate to blame their partner.

They might say it was just a one-time thing and avoid taking responsibility but don’t let a cheater put rose-colored glasses on your eyes because they will definitely try to.

It would better benefit them to take responsibility for what they did and to learn that actions have consequences.

20. Secretive

Every cheater is great at keeping secrets, since their primary instinct is to keep every detail of their personal life private, with all their individual information guarded securely.

The primary reason cheaters do this flawlessly is that they don’t want to leave traces of their actions behind.

Furthermore, research shows hiding is a significant tendency for cheaters. Hiding involves acts like avoiding social media or using social media under fake names.

Related: Gut Feeling He’s Cheating No Proof: 31 Critical Signs

21. If They Did It Once, They’ll Do It Again

The old adage ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’ has unfortunately, often proven to be true.

People who cheat on their partner once and get away with it could be repeat offenders, thinking how their other half won’t find out about it, like they didn’t the first time.

If they show this kind of disrespect even once toward the person they’re in a romantic relationship with, they won’t stop cheating because it satisfies one of their other needs above.

What Personality Traits Do Cheaters Have?

The biggest indicator showing just what does cheating say about a person and their ability to cheat are personality traits that make the individual feel entitled to cheat.

1. Narcissism

To the narcissist, maybe you haven’t met a need of theirs, you might not even know about it, so they feel entitled to get this need met somewhere else regardless of your need to not be cheated on.

2. Lack Of Empathy

A person lacking empathy may be unable to even consider how they would feel if the roles were reversed. 

3. Grandiosity

A person who thinks they’re way better than they are, so much so that they think can get away with cheating.

This is usually rooted in the need for validation of one’s sexual abilities, that needs to be validated with more than one partner.

4. Impulsiveness

Impulsiveness leads to not thinking things through. So, instead of considering the consequences of an affair, they may give into exciting situations spontaneously.

5. Thrill Seeker

Those with a thrill-seeking personality trait are more likely to get bored and crave the excitement that cheating can bring.

6. Avoidant Attachment Style

This one is just the stereotypical fear of commitment.

7. Masochistic

People with self-destructive tendencies stick to poor habits around their health and financial decisions. They can also ruin their relationships with self-destructive cheating behaviors.

Instead of being emotion driven, find the BEST Ways – How To Stop Him From Cheating.

Do You Really Love Someone If You Cheat On Them?

People “make mistakes”. We’re “all human.” However, simply put, straying isn’t something you do when you respect and care for your partner.

If you cheat on someone, here are reasons that say you don’t love that person:

  1. You Aren’t Being Selfless

Honestly love is selfless and sacrificial in a happy relationship. People involved in only using their primal instincts deliberately sabotage the trust of their loyal partner.

  1. You Aren’t Solidly In The Relationship

True love is solid. It is stable and complete. It can be filled with hopeless romantic opportunities.

When your partner lacks self control and cheats that love cannot be consistent and stable and it’s not true love and doesn’t really mean much.

  1. You’re Not Confrontational When Required

When you have deep feelings and emotional strength, you don’t run away from the person you care for or look for another outlet to gain pleasure.

If your partner cheats it could be because they use it as an outlet, a means to avoid dealing with some issue.

If you love your partner truly, you deal with those issues head on and as a team. Both sides need to be present to make their voices heard in a working relationship.

  1. You Don’t Accept The Positives In Your Relationship And Partner

Positive thinking comes with the power of love. Joy, richness, depth, and trust are born out of love. 

What cheaters fail to consider is that the consequences of cheating are all negative — guilt, mistrust, lies, and betrayal.

  1. You Aren’t A Believer

When you love someone, you trust what the person tells you and expect the same in return. This is how trust is built.

Cheating is a violation of this. If you take away this trust and belief, the relationship is built on falsehood. 

Look at these STAGES Of A Healthy Relationship.

Do Cheaters Suffer?

Despite the initial thrill of an affair, cheating can negatively affect the cheater emotionally. 

These are some ways they suffer emotionally:

  • Anxiety
  • Feel guilty
  • Shame
  • Worry
  • Regret
  • Confusion
  • Embarrassment
  • Self-loathing when they contemplate how their actions impact their significant others and what their thinking patterns were to begin with.

All of these thoughts swirling through their heads and the rollercoaster of their emotions can lead cheaters to live two completely different lives while the emotional affair continues.

What Cheating Does To A Person?

Both people in the relationship will have trouble trusting others to be loyal. You know you are a good person at your core, with some stellar qualities deep down, and if you or your loved one did this, anyone can.

If you could violate a sacred trust and hurt someone you love in such a deeply damaging way, what’s to stop them or anyone from doing it to you?

As the betrayed spouse struggles to figure this out, they may lash out at the cheater both directly and indirectly as they come to terms with the betrayal. The cheater will feel the brunt of their anger and distrust which may even become abusive.

How Do Cheaters Feel About Themselves?

You won’t be able to step outside the stigma. Constantly worrying, they’ll find that email, or see the other person at a party. Something may trigger my spouse to remember I messed up before.

You feel unworthy of love since the one person who said they would love you in good times and bad doesn’t love you anymore because they are busy protecting themselves from being hurt by you further.

Living with the fear that just being yourself, at ease and having fun will be met with suspicion and resentment. You are responsible for placing yourself in this position.

How Do Cheaters Feel After Break Up?

In many cases, cheaters don’t feel remorse unless they are caught. Even when they are caught, the remorse they feel is for being caught.

If they can get away with it, it becomes another feather in the cap. Here are some feelings cheaters have expressed:

  • Prison of Guilt
  • Shame
  • Affairs become a burden
  • Unforgiving of self
  • Remorse
  • Pain
  • Guilt
  • Sadness
Photo by Henri Pham on Unsplash

Is It Possible For Someone To Love You And Still Cheat On You?

Anyone who cheats while in a committed relationship doesn’t truly love them.

Love goes hand in hand with respect, and if there’s no respect, infidelity can thrive. What’s more, if someone loves you, they see you and only you, and as such, no one else exists or matters to them.

What does cheating say about a person to the loyal spouse? That both of you weren’t right for each other from the beginning.

You can easily spend nights wondering where you went wrong. What you did to deserve this. What you could have done differently.

The truth is, you couldn’t have done anything to prevent this. Unless you’re a terrible partner who never pays any attention to your SO, yet even in that case, the right thing to do is to break up, not cheat.

Why Do Cheaters Want To Stay In Relationships?

Rather than having a conversation to end the relationship, which may feel uncomfortable, people cheat and break hearts in the process.

Here’s what does cheating say about a person wanting to stay in relationships:

  • No exit plan
  • No back-up plan
  • Ashamed of getting caught, but saving some face by staying
  • Unique feelings
  • Decide they have options, so they’ll choose later
  • You haven’t taken a stronger stance
  • They still love you and realizes their life is better with you

If you are seeing signs they are not committed, don’t hang on until they cheat. Here are some Expert Tips To Consider Before Leaving A Relationship.

Characteristics Of A Cheating Woman

A woman will rarely cheat on the man of their dreams. If a man can keep his woman happy and satisfied, his partner is likely to stay loyal. 

However, it does happen. Here are some reasons for what does cheating say about a person when it’s a woman.

1. A Habit Of Breaking Taboos

A cheating woman has a personality with a penchant for rule-breaking.

This kind of personality thrives on living free. A Wild Child is more interested in living life to the fullest or her emotional gratification in that instant.

2. Dominates The Relationship

The female version of the Alpha male. Both male and female versions of this are susceptible and actively looking for ways to cheat. 

They are always hungry, greedy, and willing to use underhanded means to get what they want. Hence, they cheat on their partners.

3. The Victim

This is a common characteristic of a cheating woman. 

Many women feel they’re not being treated fairly in a relationship. A few feel that they have sacrificed too much of their individuality and dreams to keep their partner happy. 

They won’t actively look for a different partner but are receptive to men who are willing to provide a shoulder to cry on.

4. Very Good Liar

These women know what to say when to say and how to present it. They might cheat on you, and when caught, they will cook up some story so believable that you won’t know what hit you.

Rather than blaming her, you would be compelled to understand her situation.

5. The Jealous Type

Female cheaters are mostly the jealous kind. They’ll only cheat if they’ve already been cheating on. 

They hate to be cheated on, but if their partner betrays them, they will become a woman who cheats to give their partner the taste of their own medicine.

Characteristics Of A Cheating Man

The rollercoaster of their emotions can lead cheaters to living two completely different lives while the affair continues. One where they feel the addictive ecstasy of love and one where they feel hatred.

Here are some male characteristics of what does cheating say about a person:

1. No Mama’s Boy

If he lies or speaks unkindly to his mom, they have a dysfunctional relationship. 

Men who disrespect their moms tend to disrespect their wives too. Assume that he’s able to lie to you just as easily.

2. Insecure 

Insecurities feeling threatened can be a trigger to seek validation with physical intimacy. That’s because cheating can make him feel like a man again.

If you’ve got a guy who’s down on himself, encourage him to reach for his goals and desires.

3. Narcissistic

Men who are immature and self-centered, are primed for serial cheating.

“Narcissists lack empathy and view women as objects. Plus, they believe they have a right to do whatever they want

4. Vices

Whether he drinks too much, dabbles in drugs or has a gambling problem, he doesn’t understand self control, so he believes he can get away with things.

Take good emotional care of yourself, and stop pretending he’s your knight in shining armor.

5. He’s Powerful

Studies show that men who perceive themselves as powerful are more likely to be unfaithful. Power, it appears, can be a strong aphrodisiac and make men feel invincible.

Here’s some help. It’s a Relationship Test – Proven by Tony Robbins.

Psychological Facts About Cheating

Dr. Kenneth Rosenburg delves into the latest research on what causes most cheaters to be unfaithful to their partners.

Most research suggests that rather than there being one reason a person cheats, there is a common set of characteristics, personality traits and behavior patterns that set serial cheaters apart from their non-philandering counterparts.

The sooner you can recognize these traits about what does cheating say about you, the closer you will be to protecting yourself.

1. Brain

More accurately, the way your brain works chemically. In fact, Dr. Rosenburg thinks that roughly 50 percent of what distinguishes a cheater from a non-cheater is biological differences in brain chemicals.

2. Psychology

The way you think based on the way you experience, or experienced the world and how you feel you fit into it. And how this developed the way you think about your romantic life.

3. Culture ​

The way your cultural background, or environment as a whole, shaped your beliefs on your sex life, love life, and infidelity.

If you’re currently experiencing heartache caused by a cheater, remember, only one person is responsible for cheating, and that is the person who engages in the act.

It may be easy to take love for granted, but those who take love seriously understand that all its greatness outweighs any immediate pleasure gained from cheating.
I hope you found this article “What Does Cheating Say About A Person” helpful ✅  if so, drop your comments below and feel free to share with close friends.

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About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.