120+ Best Savage Ex Quotes & Captions (2024)

Welcome to my list of 121 savage ex quotes.

Savage Ex Quotes
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I hope this list of savage quotes will help you to get some closure over your last break-up.  

In my role as a life coach, I am often helping clients to feel better about who they are, their  relationships and their life situation. 

Hopefully, this list of quotes will help you do that.

Let’s dive in.

What Is Most Savage Quote?

Savage quotes are those that cut deep into someone’s deepest insecurities. They therefore need an element of truth to them. The most savage quotes tend to insult and hurt people so deeply that they’re considered incredibly rude.   

The savagery is said to be increased when they’re directed at a specific person, especially if it’s likely that this person will read it and know it was aimed at them.

I’ve listed some examples below. The most savage quotes will be the ones most relatable to a person you’re upset with. 

120+ Best Savage Ex Quotes

Savage Ex
Photo By Brock Wegner On Unsplash
  1. “If you line up all your ex-lovers in a row, you can see the flowchart of your mental illness.”
  2. “It’s not you. It’s that I finally realize, you’re terrible.”
  3. “I’m in my own lane, you ain’t in my category.”
  4. “My ex is living proof of how stupid I can be.”
  5. “I miss my ex-boyfriend like how a rich man misses the days when he was poor. He remembers them fondly but would never want to go back there.”
  6. “If I swallow scrabble pieces and barf it out, that would still make a better statement than what you speak.”
  7. “The good news is that my ex set the bar low enough to make my new boyfriend’s ordinary accomplishments seem impressive.”
  8. “Anybody who told my ex to be himself simply couldn’t have given him worse advice.”
  9. “All I’m saying is I’ve never seen my ex and satan in the same room.” 
  10. “I am Fiji water. You are toilet water.”
  11. “Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.”
  12. “You are just like a fart. Your presence stinks.”
  13. “Good luck finding someone who will put up with your bullshit as well as I did.”
  14. “My ex had one very annoying habit: breathing.” 
  15. “I laugh so hard at the fact that I loved you.”
  16. “Ever looked at your ex and wondered, “Was I drunk the entire relationship?”
  17. “My heart has no room for you, but the trunk of my car definitely does.” 
  18. “Whoever said money can’t buy happiness clearly never paid for a divorce.” 
  19. “What doesn’t kill you disappoints me.”
  20. “My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Except, this time, it would be with a car or a baseball bat.”
  21. “Taking your ex back is like going to a yard sale and buying back your own mess!” 
  22. “When I’m angry, I make ugly cartoonish images of people, and I guess God was in the same mood when he made you.”
  23. “It’s funny how you’re nice to my face. It’s hilarious how you talk s*** behind my back. And it’s downright comical that you think I’m unaware.” 
  24. “When your ex says, “You’ll never find anyone like me,” just smile and reply, “That’s the point.”
  25. “Our breakup was due to religious differences; she thought she was God, and I didn’t.” 
  26. “Bro, you have an entire life to be stupid. Take a day off.”
  27. “I get so emotional when you’re not around, and that emotion is called happiness.”
  28. “You were my cup of tea, but I drink champagne now.” 
  29. “The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Better get ready.”
  30. “Don’t cry because it’s over; smile because that asshole is finally someone else’s problem.”
  31. “Men or shoes? Honestly, shoes last longer, and they’re more dependable.”
  32. “It’s hard to do epic stuff with basic people like you.”
  33. “What’s a queen without her king? Well, historically speaking, more powerful.”
  34. “It’s funny when you realize that karma messed up who once destroyed you.” 
  35. “Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.”
  36. “I cried when you left me, but I laughed when I saw what you left me for.”
  37. “I wanna slap you, but I don’t know in which face.”
  38. “No need to block you; I want you to see what you have lost.”
  39. “I was raised to become an independent woman, not the victim of anything.”
  40. “You look like something I drew with my left hand.”
  41. “Fall in love with the person who enjoys your Madness. Not an Idiot who forces you to be normal.” 
  42. “Today is National Animal Day. Please take a moment to remember your ex-boyfriends.”
  43. “These men only want to waste your damn time.”
  44. “The best revenge against a woman who steals your man from you is to let her keep him.”
  45. “My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.”
  46. “The uglier the Snapchat, the closer the friendship.”
  47. “She got mad hustle and dope soul.”
  48. “Make haters jealous. Give them another reason to hate!” 
  49. “The hottest love has the coldest end.”
  50. “It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.”
  51. “Turn ya savage up and lose ya feelings.”
  52. “It’s not necessary for everyone to like me. Not everyone matters!” 
  53. “There is always a wild side to an innocent face. I’m sunshine mixed with a little hurricane.”
  54. “The best revenge after a breakup is showing your ex that you are thriving even without them.”
  55. “Never get jealous when you see your ex with someone else because our parents taught us to give our used toys to the less fortunate.” 
  56. “My heels are higher than most people’s standards.”
  57. “I don’t hate you. I’m just not necessarily excited about your existance.”
  58. “You just kinda wasted my precious time.”
  59. “Mirrors don’t lie, and lucky for you, they don’t laugh.”
  60. “You made my heart break and that made me who I am.”
  61. “Know yourself, know your worth.”
  62. “Since I left you, I found the world so new.”
  63. “Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.” 
  64. “I’m a scuba diver in a sea of idiots.”
  65. “When your past calls, don’t answer.”
  66. “If I wanted to hear from an idiot, I would’ve watched Sarah Palin videos.”
  67. “One day they’ll realize they lost a diamond while playing with worthless stones.”
  68. “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
  69. “I just figured if I’m going to be a mess, I might as well be a hot mess, right?”
  70. “My mascara is too expensive to cry over stupid boys like you.”
  71. “You are the puzzle piece to my Lego house. Basically, useless.”
  72. “Roses are red, violets are blue, we’re breaking up because I never loved you.”
  73. “I hope your air conditioner breaks this summer.”
  74. “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”
  75. “You let go of a diamond. Good luck collecting rocks.”
  76. “Every rejected lover deserves a second chance, but with someone else.”
  77. “My only regret is that none of the objects contain his signature.”
  78. “I love that pleasant sound which you make when you shut up.” 
  79. “Never apologize for burning too brightly or collapsing into yourself every night.”
  80. “I started to understand why all my past relationships ended: so that we could start.”
  81. “In my dream, my lover reconciled with his ex. I laughed when I awoke because you don’t pick up a rock after finding a diamond.”
  82. “Your ex was just a stepping stone to something better.”
  83. “When a monkey puts on makeup. It’s still the same monkey.”
  84. “Why was my sanity paying the price for your mistakes?” 
  85. “I’m in training to be the hottest ex-girlfriend you’ve ever had.”
  86. “If you treat me like an option, I’ll leave you like a choice.”
  87. “Tell me not to do something, and I’ll do it twice and take a picture.”
  88. “Even my middle finger is bigger than your heart.”
  89. “World Ex Day is celebrated on 11th January; Animal Day.”
  90. “My girlfriend said she wanted me to be more like her ex. So I dumped her.” 
  91. “Dating an ex is the equivalent of failing a test you already had the answers to.”
  92.  “Let them keep underestimating you cause you’ll have more than enough knowledge to embarrass them.”
  93. “Fake friends are like costume jewelry: They look great for a while, then all of a sudden, their true selves ‘shine’ through.”
  94. “Sweet as sugar, cold as ice hurt me once I will break you thrice.”
  95. “No boyfriend, no problems.”
  96. “You don’t deserve my tears. I guess that’s why they ain’t there.”
  97. “Cancel my subscription because I’m done with your issues.”
  98. “Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan.”
  99. “I’m cool. PS: You’re not.”
  100. “No, I checked my receipt. I didn’t buy any of your bullshit.”
  101. “If you’re happy and you know it, thank your ex!”
  102. “Bitch, you’re so fake you make Barbie look real.”
  103. “I don’t miss him. I miss who I thought he was.”
  104. “There is always a wild side to an innocent face.”
  105. “The way my ex-boyfriend used to lie…even when he texts me “Good morning”, I had to go outside to see if it is really morning!”
  106. “I have more potential in my left hand than you have in your entire body.”
  107. “I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.”
  108. “I’ve learned from the pain. I turned out amazing.”
  109. “Don’t come back when you realize that I’m rare.”
  110. “My ex-boyfriend was not a smartass, but he is definitely a ‘trying to be smart, but actually, I am an ass’ kind of person.”
  111. “Don’t feel special because, apparently, my ex f*cks everyone.”
  112.  “R.I.P to the feelings that I had for you.”
  113. “Life goes on.”
  114. “I would love to insult you, but I’m afraid I won’t do as well as nature did.”
  115.  “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
  116. “This queen doesn’t need a king.”
  117. “My ex-boyfriend’s Facebook status said, “Suicidal and standing on the edge”…So I poked him.”
  118. “If lying was a job, some of my exes would be billionaires.”
  119. “Don’t test me. I have screenshots.”
  120. “Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness, bitch.”
  121. “They are like shadows, those fake friends. When you are in the sun, they are around you, and when you need to step into the dark, they immediately leave you.”

Should I Use These Savage Quotes As Savage Instagram Captions?

When you break up, you might feel an urge to post the best savage Instagram captions as a means of getting revenge on your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, but is this really a good idea?

Savage Instagram Captions
Photo By Guilherme Stecanella On Unsplash

Savage Ex Captions For Instagram

Posting savage Instagram captions might feel fulfilling, because you’re broadcasting your savage captions to a potentially huge audience. If your ex made you feel stupid or embarrassed, it might feel like posting savage Instagram captions is fighting fire with fire.

However, I should warn you: if you post savage captions like this, it won’t aid the process of getting over your ex. In fact, every time you receive a notification about your posts with savage captions, you’ll be reminded of your ex and how emotional you felt when making that post.

On top of that, it’s always possible that your ex responds perhaps by berating you privately, or by posting savage Instagram captions of their own. Is that what you want? If you miss your ex, this form of contact might feel better than nothing, but it does nothing to help you gain closure over your break-up.

How about you take that energy and focus it on finding the right person instead? 

Honestly, a somewhat intelligent ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend will realize you’re posting these savage Instagram captions because you’re still upset about the break-up, even when you post savage captions about having moved on. If you had truly moved on, you wouldn’t be posting about your ex at all. 

How Can I Make My Ex Jealous Quotes?

Quotes about having moved on with your life might work, but that’s also too obvious to have an impact on intelligent ex girlfriends or boyfriends.

If you’re hellbent on posting quotes, perhaps some general quotes on gratitude or how much you love your friends.

Also, consider this list of seduction quotes to hint that there is a potential new romance in your life.  

What Can I Post To Make My Ex Jealous?  

Anything that shows you’re having a great time without them. The more awesome activities you can post, the more it will look like you have moved on. If there are attractive people of the opposite sex in your posts, that can pull at an ex’s jealousy strings too.

I’d recommend not mentioning or even hinting about your break-up in your Instagram captions at all. This is the most effective way to show that you’ve moved on. 

Captions To Make Your Ex Jealous   

Your Instagram captions don’t have to be a quote to make your friend jealous. They don’t need to be about your relationship at all. Any Instagram captions which show that you’re having a great time can potentially make your ex jealous. Not everyone will fall into the trap, but it’s worth a shot if you’re determined to instill jealousy in your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. 

Related Content: Best Statuses That Make Your Ex Jealous  

How Can I Impress My Ex?

The best way to impress your ex is to show that you’ve moved on from the break-up and you’ve found a way to keep enjoying your life. If you can also show you’ve got over the problems that caused the break-up, even better.

Social media is a great tool to passively show this. Social media posts suggest you’re too busy enjoying life to even think about messaging your ex directly. 

What Is The Best Message For Ex?

The best message for your ex is no message. Historically speaking, the ‘no contact’ rule has been proven to make people more curious about their exes. It’s just the rules of human psychology. We desire something we feel like we can’t get.

Perhaps you’ll want to extend the ‘no contact’ rule to avoiding shady captions on your social media.  

Any More Questions?

Thanks for reading my list of savage quotes. Hopefully, it helped to add some humor to the situation.

Before you go, I’d urge you to make sure you didn’t skip the section about using these quotes as Instagram captions.

If you have any questions on this topic, feel free to reach out in the comments section of this article. 

It would be great to hear from you.

About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.