Relationships aren’t just twosomes and more. The relationship you build with yourself might be the most important you’ll ever have.
Knowing how to date yourself as a single person can be essential to cultivate a sense of independence, confidence and self-worth.
This is how you can get the most from it.
How To Date Yourself
The voice in your head is the loudest, most important voice. It’s the closest to your ear. So the place to start is to be kind to yourself.
Pay attention to your thoughts and whispers as you explore what makes you happy. Be kind to yourself as you refocus from problems to solutions. Be kind to yourself and remember you’re always doing the best you can.
Go Outside Your Comfort Zone
Comfort comes from the avoidance of drastic change, heightened stress, or uncomfortable situations. In order to not get carried away with fears of the unknown, it helps to endeavor to change this mindset.
This is where you learn and evolve, get stronger and more adaptable to all that life throws at you, thereby cultivating self-confidence.
Consciously disconnect from the buzz and chaos of your week when spending time with yourself. Be sure not to get lost in your earphones, book or phone – no matter how tempting.
Think quality over quantity. Recharge your mind, build mental strength, and even spark your creativity, all the while knowing you’re on an important life journey.
Take Your Time
Next, take a deep breath and don’t rush. This time on your own is for you to alleviate stress, not elevate it.
Solitude might be one of the best gifts you can give yourself, so don’t be afraid to wallow in it for a while. Allow yourself to simply be in the moment instead of rushing through it.
Have A Warm Bubble Bath
Indulge in a warm bath and let your worries float away. Bonus points for a luxurious bath bomb or essential oils.
Write A Love Letter To Yourself
Remind yourself how awesome you are and refer back to your love letter over and over again so you can remember in case you forget that.
Quality Time With Your Pet
If you’re struggling to give yourself some self-love, a cuddle session with your pet might just do the trick.
They’ll give you unconditional love to help you remember how worthy you are.
Prepare A Special Dinner
Make or order your favorite dinner and make it special. Light some candles, lay down a table cloth and use proper utensils. Enjoy this time alone in your own company and savor the food.
All this for no other reason than a nice meal on a solo date is good for your self esteem.
Related: Are Some People Meant To Be Alone? 21 Signs You’re That Person
Solo Dance Party
Pump up the volume and sing along. Dance like nobody’s watching.
Have A Picnic In A Park
Soak up some sunshine and enjoy a delicious snack at the park. Lay down a blanket with some fun food and listen to some cool tunes or read a great book. Enjoy the grounding.
Hit The Beach
Another idea of how to date yourself is by going to the beach. Whether it’s for a suntan, a swim or just a walk.
Being by the water can cleanse the harsh thoughts or bring clarity to a situation. Could be the best self love you can do.
Buy Yourself Some Flowers
Give yourself some well-deserved self care by buying yourself flowers. Not only are they pretty, they also clean the air and boost your mood.
Try An Art Museum
Another solo date idea you can try is going to museums. They can help you understand how society evolves and they’re quiet – perfect for an introvert.
Whether you’re into nature photography or street photography, this is a solo date idea you can definitely do. Even if you don’t have a fancy camera, this is something you can still do with a good smartphone.
If you’re an artist, either budding, aspiring or experienced, try sketching or painting outside in nature. Find a quiet spot with an interesting surrounding. Set yourself up and indulge your creativity.
Find A Local Market
Going to a local market is a great way to get involved with the community and meet new people. You might even begin a new relationship.
Pick up a nice looking journal and begin to dream. Write it all down and add doodles, color or magazine clippings. Indulge in this self pleasure and see what manifests.
Play Tourist In Your Own Town
How often do you go out and enjoy the sights your own town has to offer? Be the tourist and spend time appreciating your town.
Meditation can be a great way to calm your mind. There are tons of benefits for your mental health such as reducing anxiety, being more self-aware, and managing stress.
Whatever you focus on grows, so focus your meditation on self love and attract the kind of loving partner you really desire.
Try A New Restaurant
Why not look up a new restaurant in your area and try something new? It’ll take you out of your comfort zone and may offer you new food choices to discover.
The night sky is full of beautiful sights and stars, all you need is a clear sky. To get the best view of some of the stars and planets in the sky, it’s best to get away from a populated area where light pollution can make it hard to see all the stars up there.
Schedule A Massage
A massage can be great self care to work out your muscles and help your body relax. Find a spa that will help you indulge and really make you feel cared for.
Try A New Coffee Shop
Take a break and try out a local coffee shop for a great way to support local business, and you may just find that the coffee tastes better too!
There are tons of benefits to exercising regularly, and doing yoga can get your body moving and calm your mind. If you find a class you could meet new interesting people or find a video and still get the benefits.
Write To Your Future Self
The future can be uncertain. A great idea can be to write a letter to your future self. It can be a creative way to talk about your solo dates and express uncertain feelings and thoughts. It gives you something to look back on and reflect down the road too.
Plant A Garden
Offer love and care to other living things to reflect what’s inside you. All you need is some dirt, mulch, and some flowers or shrubs to create a garden that you can call your own.
You can also get some potted plants to love and keep in your home to talk to and share love with.
Watch The Sunset
Indulge in self love by marveling in the splendor of a sunset. Find an optimal place away from trees, or by a body of water so you can have a clear view of the colorful horizon as the sun is setting.
Related: Best Boosting Self Esteem Questions
Give Yourself A Makeover
Love yourself no matter what, although you might be ready for a new haircut or look. Try out a different hairstyle, find some new clothes, and a new look that is really “you.”
Organize Your Room
An organized room can clear space in your room and in your energy field. It’ll bring new life into any space.
Decluttering your room and reorganizing it provides lots of potential for self love. You could even change your whole room layout!
Go For A Bike Ride
Take a bike ride around your neighborhood, town, or city and explore the sights on your own. Many local park areas also provide trails that you can ride on and explore nature as well.
In your journal, make a list of things you are most grateful for. None of us do it nearly as often as we could, so making a list of what you’re grateful for can give you a new perspective on your life, your family, your friends, and boost your personal development.
Traveling or exploring a destination alone is totally different than with a partner, or a friend. And just like eating or going to the movies, doing it alone can uncover a lot of wonderful things you didn’t even know about yourself.
Make Room For Healthy Habits
Start some true self care by mirroring that in what you eat, how you exercise, and what you spend time doing.
Do stuff, not to just “get it done” or because you “have to,” but because you care about you.
What It Means To Date Yourself?
Dating yourself means treating yourself like you would a romantic partner. It involves giving yourself love, care, and a little bit of indulging at times.
To date yourself, you give yourself consideration to the most important relationship – that’s you, your own needs and desires. You prioritize yourself and your own wellbeing.
Is It OK To Date Yourself?
What most people don’t really talk about is the importance of continually deepening your trust and connection with yourself.
How you need to constantly unfold fostering time to nurture the deep, dark, emotional parts of your relationship with you is super important.
That’s where solo dates with yourself are so helpful for getting to know yourself, in order to have a healthy, joyful, and intimate relationship with who you are. Be your own best friend and truly enjoy life.
How Can I Be Romantic With Myself?
For some of us, romance can mean beautiful flowers or a fancy dinner. For others, it’s a coffee in bed and a handwritten note.
Perhaps the best part about romance is you don’t necessarily need a partner to fall in love with your life.
Here are some solo activities to bring romance into your life.
Get some candles, essential oils, bath salts, treat yourself to some nice body wash and warm bath, even a bath bomb. Run a heck of a bath, and relax in candlelight with some of your favorite calming music. Self care to the max!
Treat yourself to a spa day. Have a steaming hot shower, use hair conditioning masks and nice smelling gel. Shave all over and when you get out apply a face mask, do your eyebrows, moisturize and do your nails.
Start Dating Yourself
Spending time alone can be a game changer. Dress yourself up, take some selfies and take yourself out to dinner and maybe a show.
If that’s not possible, buy your favorite flowers, light candles, play a sweet playlist, then take a bubble bath and a facial with your favorite cocktails nearby.
Keep It Clean
There’s nothing better than a clean room, clean sheets and fancy candles.
Window shopping or all out buy yourself a new toy or something you really want that takes a while to ship. You’ll receive it when you forgot you even ordered it.
Write cute, positive notes to yourself and put them all over your house.
Related: Self-Love Workshop Ideas
How To Date Yourself While In A Relationship
Dating yourself is of the utmost importance. This is true when you’re with a partner or not. It’s true before you find the love of your life, and it’s true after you’ve been together for decades.
Dating yourself is not selfish, it is not weird, it’s not even difficult to start. And in the end, getting to know yourself and caring for yourself will help you get to know and care for others.
I truly believe that taking a step toward loving yourself more opens up a deeper well from which you can draw love for others. You have to nurture yourself first before you can fully nurture others.
- Go see a movie.
- Compliment yourself.
- Get dressed up for you.
- Treat yourself with respect and compassion.
- Take yourself out for lunch or dinner.
- Buy yourself some lingerie.
- Buy yourself flowers.
- Keep your boundaries firm.
- Make yourself laugh.
- Stand by you.
- Be curious about yourself.
How To Date Yourself After A Breakup
It’s common to shy away from getting out in the world again after a relationship breakup. You’ll know when you’re ready though. Letting fear of another heartache stop you from experiencing more love is not kind to you.
If it was a toxic relationship, you probably forgot to take care of yourself. There are several ways to practise self-love after a bad relationship has ended.
- Learn to let go and only keep the benefit of wisdom.
- Have some “me” time to do things you enjoy.
- Take control of your feelings and channel your energy into yourself.
- Avoid turning to bad habits, such as, drinking, smoking, drugs or casual sex.
- Focus on your health as a priority.
- Reach out to your circle of family and friends.
- Practice mindfulness.
- Be patient with building your confidence to start dating again.
How To Date Yourself As A Man
Rather than focusing on a lack of partnered love and falling down that spiral, consider time to focus on building up self love.
Shower, dress up, wear cologne. Take yourself on literal dates.
- Go to places you love.
- Do things you enjoy.
- Try new things that no one else has wanted to do with you.
- While on your own, ask yourself deeper questions.
- Explore things you’re too shy to ask someone else to do with you.
- Go to dinner, movies, lectures, and workshops.
Date Yourself Challenge
Want a challenge to bring you to a deeper level of self love? Follow this 30 day dating challenge created by Dr. Alyssa Adams, “Date Yourself”.
How To Date Yourself Book
If you’d like to read more about dating yourself during some time alone, here are some suggestions:
- “Date Yourself: A Practical Guide to Building Self-Confidence and Learning to Love Who You Are (The Change You Need Book 2)” by Sierra Melcher
- “How to Date Yourself and Fall in Love” by Dorothy C. Pincus
- “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire Universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha
- “To find yourself, think for yourself.” – Socrates
- “You cannot be lonely, if you love the person you’re alone with.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer
- “Truth is, I’m generally happiest when it’s just me. It’s okay to be madly in love with yourself.” – Richelle E. Goodrich
- “Schedule a sacred date with yourself. You deserve time for your life.” – Cheryl Richardson
- “Yes, I’m alone. But I’m alone and free.” – Elsa, Frozen
When you date yourself and give yourself self love, you’re telling yourself you matter and you’re complete as you are, with or without someone.
Even if you’re not in love with yourself yet, take the time to treat yourself better anyway 💜 and feel good about it.
If you like this post and find it helpful, please consider sharing it ✅ with another person so they can learn these fun and great ideas about self love too.