While it’s normal to get into a serious relationship and get married as an adult, some people are born to pursue a different path.
So are some people meant to be alone? How can one know once and for all?
If you’ve been asking yourself these questions, come with me as I explain the signs you’re meant to be alone and more!
Let’s dive in!
1. You’re Willing to Focus On Something Worth Giving up Intimacy
If you’re willing to follow the examples of Isaac Newton, Florence Nightingale, and Nikola Tesla, you’re likely meant to be alone your whole life. These famous people, although having much success in their careers, chose to stay alone to focus on their work.
And they did an amazing job at their professions. That’s why we talk about them to date.
If you want to follow the same path, that is, you find a project, invention, or quest so intriguing that time with a partner isn’t appealing anymore, perhaps you are meant to be alone indeed.
In such a case, I’d tell you to unashamedly chase after your dreams. Life is worth living if you live it the way you want anyway.
2. You’re an Aromantic
Perhaps you haven’t heard the term but know what it’s like to be aromantic. Here are signs you are one:
- You don’t experience romantic attraction
- You feel you don’t need romance to feel fulfilled in your life
- You don’t have a crush or have never felt “in love” with anyone
- Romantic stories are unrelatable to you
While being aromantic doesn’t mean you never want to have sex or are incapable of loving someone platonically, you might be meant to be alone. And it’s totally okay to choose to live that way.
Societal norms may push you to live in a way that doesn’t resonate with you (meaning romantically), but it’s you to decide to live your reality and your choice. As long as you don’t have romantic desires, you don’t need romance to fulfill what doesn’t exist.
And there are plenty of amazing things to do on this earth besides getting involved in romance.
3. You’re an Asexual
Asexuality is little or non-existent sexual attraction to others. An asexual may or may not be attracted romantically to others but commonly, asexuality goes with aromanticism.
So if you aren’t turned on by others and see no point in getting into relationships, then you might be meant to be alone. No one has to pressure you into getting into a relationship – even someone who says they like you a lot.
You can fulfill your need to belong in other healthy, non-sexual relationships and be an amazing part of human existence that way.
Related: Needs Vs Wants In Relationships
4. You Enjoy Being Alone Than With Anyone Else
Is time on your own much more important and fun than time spent with others? You might be a natural loner and don’t mind spending the rest of your life alone – except with socialization with friends from time to time.
If this is you, then you might be meant to be alone.
Just make sure this is your character and that it has nothing to do with mental health issues like depression and social anxiety. If you have all the “health” boxes checked out and still enjoy your own company more than any other, staying alone could just be your portion in this life.
5. You Don’t Like Company Completely
If you enjoy living alone and avoid having company other than your close friends, then serious relationships may not be for you.
In case you get into a committed relationship, your partner’s friends and family become your own and therefore, might frequent your home and you might also need to visit them from time to time.
If this idea is dreadful to you, then you might be closing your chances of having anyone in your life forever.
6. Most if Not All of Your Role Models Are Lifelong Singles
Your role models are people who’ve led a life you want to live. So you can pretty much tell what kind of life you’ll end up living just by studying your idols.
Are they social rebels who led single lives? Were they into casual relationships, shunning the idea of happily married lives?
If the people you follow keenly and love mostly led single lives, you might as well be meant to live a single life all your life.
7. You Want to Explore Life Against Norms
Are you interested in being a social rebel? Are you curious to know what you can discover by living a life of singlehood? Then you might just be meant to be alone.
The way you’re interested in living life makes up how you’re meant to live it for the most part. So if you find yourself desiring to live a single life for the sake of learning about your life, I’d say go for it!
If you live life the way you always wanted to, you’ll have no regrets. Maybe you’re meant to stay alone.
8. You Value Freedom More Than Anything in This World
Once you get into a relationship, you have to give up missing out on a “free” life. Your partner has their dreams and you have your own – for a happy relationship where both your needs are met, you often need to give up some of the things you could have done alone.
Settling down in a particular town could hinder you from traveling everywhere you wanted. Having a committed relationship could mean you’d have no casual relationships. And so on.
Don’t get scared since you can work freely within a relationship. But to be honest, you won’t live as freely as you’d have when you were alone. And that’s okay for anyone who treasures the value of having a partner above the value of singlehood type of freedom.
But what if you treasure your independence above the joys of a romantic relationship? Then you’re probably destined to be alone.
9. You Want to Reach Personal Mastery Alone
Personal mastery is the process of living purposefully, working towards a vision aligned with all your interests while continually learning about oneself concerning the world one lives in.
While this can be done as a single person and as one in a relationship, some people prefer doing it alone.
If this is more important to you than anything else in the whole world then maybe you’re meant to be alone.
10. You Identify More With Religious Abstention
Whether Christian, Buddhist, Taoist, or in another religion, there’s a belief that abstaining from certain things like a romantic relationship can help someone reach great spiritual highs that others living a normal life of indulgence in world pleasures can’t.
There’s some sense in this since the more undistracted you are from a particular purpose, the faster you fulfill it.
If you believe you’re meant to follow abstinence paths to your life purpose and are willing to follow through with it, then this is one of the signs you’re destined to be alone.
11. You’re Unwilling to Compromise Your Lifestyle for Anyone
Perhaps you love your work so much that your life revolves much around it. Or you enjoy traveling more than anything and are thus a solo nomad. Or maybe you have a bizarre schedule you like to keep and would want no one to meddle with it.
In short, your schedule is worth more than having a partner who wants to shift things up. You are ready to give up a romance than compromise the nature of the life you’re leading.
If this is you, then you might be one of the people meant to be alone.
12. You Dread the Idea of Someone “Influencing” Your Life
We all know that the people around us influence the way we live by a great deal. And romantic partners, they’re the most influential in our lives since they’re with us most of the time.
But if the thought of someone suggesting changes in your life, and shaping who you are henceforth is a nightmare to you any day, then you might have been meant to be single all your life.
13. You Don’t Ever Mind Thirdwheeling
Most people feel uncomfortable as a third wheel and wish they could have someone by their side for spending time with couple-friends. But not you.
You don’t mind spending time with any couple no matter how intimate they get. You simply shrug off the romance as something they do that you’re not a part of and never wish to be a part of.
If this describes you, then you probably are destined fo a single life.
14. Your Loved Ones Tell You You’re Meant to Be Alone
One of the telltale signs you’re meant to be alone is obvious: people tell you about it as if they see it in you.
If you receive comments like, “You’re not made for this man” or “You’re hopeless,” it could just mean you’re meant to stay alone.
15. You Find Yourself Looking For Non-romantic Relationships Only
Do you only seek friendships in all social connections? Perhaps in your social interaction, nothing rings in your mind except, “This human seems interesting to hang with/ I’d like her/him to be my friend.”
Thoughts of spending a life let alone a date together never occurs to you. You struggle to take hints when others like you and you often wonder, “Am I meant to be alone?”
If you relate to this sign then it might be true you’re meant to be alone.
16. You Feel in Your Gut You’re Meant to Be Alone
We are all social creatures but despite your okay self-esteem and high self-worth, deep down, you feel you’re meant to be alone. It’s just a feeling you can’t seem to shrug off and you feel comfortable with it.
But could it be true?
Yes, this gut feeling is one of the warning signs you’re meant to be alone.
17. You Aren’t Ashamed of Doing Social Things Alone
While everyone else thinks it’s bizarre to spend Saturday night alone, go on a solo trip, or get a drink alone, you think it totally makes sense.
You feel no shame, you don’t feel lonely, and definitely find happiness in your alone time any day.
If this describes you, then you might just be destined to be single all your life.
18. You Only Want to Have Responsibilities on a Whim
Getting into a serious relationship comes with responsibilities. You have to take care of your partner’s needs which means you might have to do stuff you don’t feel like doing often.
But if you’re the kind that doesn’t like being strapped down by responsibilities for whatever reason, lifelong relationships may not be your portion.
19. You Don’t Feel the Need to Have Anyone in Your Life
Many people made for romantic relationships have felt the need for someone at some point in their lives.
But if you don’t relate to this need and feel self-sufficient as far as intimacy is concerned, then you might just be destined to be alone.
20. You Like Controlling Everything in Your Life
From the way you start your day to how you like your bed unfolded, you might be the kind of person who hates surprises. Perhaps you’re autistic or simply controlling.
Either way, having a romantic relationship with such habits is going to be difficult if not impossible. And maybe you’re meant to be alone that’s why.
If this character is much more important to hold than having a partner in your life, then this is a sign you’re meant to be alone.
21. You’ve Found Much Fulfillment in Staying Alone
While others feel they need a partner to complement them and make up a fulfilling life, you don’t share such beliefs.
And it’s nothing to do with low self-esteem, childhood trauma, lack of a potential partner, or suchlike things to work on. In fact, you feel incredibly fulfilled just the way you are, and life with someone else is nowhere on the list of things to make you happy.
If this is you, then singlehood could be your destiny after all.
Are You Lying to Yourself? False Signs You’re Meant to Be Alone
I’ve seen people advising around the web, giving false signs for those wondering, “Are some people meant to be alone?” But I’m here to clarify some myths.
Here are false signs you’re meant to be alone:
- You have commitment issues: While you may find it hard to commit yourself to someone right now, once you learn to work on your trust issues, you can, at last, have a lasting healthy relationship.
- You’re selfish: Like other negative traits we all hold at some point in our lives, selfishness is something you can work on and get into amazing relationships in the future.
- You’re happy and contented: Contentment and happiness is a state you can achieve whether single or in a relationship. You get into a relationship just because it’s aligned with your interests not because you’re unhappy.
- You don’t like surrendering in a battle: Again, whether you don’t listen, like being right above all things, and are stubborn in your own understanding, these are character issues you can fix consciously and do not necessarily damn you from having a relationship forever.
- You like things a certain way: While unwillingness to compromise forever may mean you’re meant to be alone, you can still have a healthy relationship with someone who understands and respects some of your boundaries.
The above signs are for someone not ready to date yet so don’t give up on relationships just yet.
There’s a difference between someone meant to be single for life and someone who’s just not ready to date yet. So just because you show some signs you’re not ready to date doesn’t mean you’re meant to be alone for good.
How Do You Know if You Are Meant to Be Alone?
We’re created for different purposes and therefore, some are meant to stay single to fulfill theirs. Here are some signs that show someone is meant to be alone.
- You’re willing to focus on something worth giving up intimacy
- You’re an aromantic
- You’re an asexual
- You only want to have responsibilities on a whim
- You don’t feel the need to have anyone in your life
- You like controlling everything in your life
- You enjoy being alone than with anyone else
- You’re unwilling to compromise your lifestyle for anyone
- You dread the idea of someone “influencing” your life
- You want to explore life against norms
- You value freedom more than anything in this world
- You want to reach personal mastery alone
- You identify more with religious abstention
- You don’t like company completely
- Most if not all of your role models are lifelong singles
- You don’t ever mind third-wheeling
- Your lifestyle doesn’t do well with a partner
- You find yourself looking for non-romantic relationships only
- You enjoy experiencing the world alone
- You aren’t ashamed of doing social things alone
- You’ve found much fulfillment in staying alone
Is It Ok to Be Alone in Life? Is Being Alone Good for You?
It’s okay to be alone in life as long as it’s for the right reasons and you’re happy, fulfilled, and are providing value to society. However, choosing to be alone in life just because you’re afraid of certain aspects of relationships means you’re avoiding growth and that’s not okay.
Am I destined to be alone forever? Are some people truly meant to be alone?
Some people were truly meant to be alone. However, if you don’t show any of the above signs you’re meant to be alone, you may be destined to be in a relationship but you’re not ready yet.
Maybe I was meant to be alone
While some people are truly destined to lead a single life, some choose to live such a life because of the ideas of singlehood that they embrace. Whatever signs you show, it’s you to choose whether you want to be alone or develop a successful relationship with the right person.
Are You Really Meant to Be Alone?
I hope after reading this piece, you’ve stopped wondering whether some people are meant to be alone and now have your answers.
Remember to spot the difference between the signs you’re meant to be alone and signs you’re not ready for a relationship just yet.
So do you still think you’re one of the people meant to be alone? Why? Let’s discuss this in the comments below!