Female-Led Relationship (2021) 11 EASY Ways How To Find A Balance

7 min read

If you’re unhappy in a female-led relationship (FLR), this guide is for you. It suggests 11 things you can do to shift the power balance.

As a life coach who has assisted plenty of people through their relationship problems, I’m confident in saying that a woman is just as likely to be unhappy in a female-led relationship as a man.

However, for reasons we’ll explore, it’s the male who has to take action to shift the dynamics of his relationship in this scenario.

So, let’s explore what men can do to alter this kind of relationship.  

Female-Led Relationship
Photo by vahid kanani on Unsplash

How To Shift The Dynamics Of A Female-Led Relationship

I’ll begin this list by exploring whether the dynamics of your female-led relationships needs to change at all. 

Then, I’ll explore what a male can do to start leading his relationship, followed by what he should encourage his woman to do.

1. Understand The Importance Of Sexual Polarity

Sexual polarity is the theory that a masculine being will be attracted to a feminine being, and vice versa.

Men and women both have masculine and feminine energy within them, although men tend to be more masculine and women are typically more feminine.

The more polarised these energies are in a relationship, the more attraction there’ll be. This is true in homosexual and heterosexual couples.

However, throughout the course of a relationship, a man or woman may stop exhibiting the behaviours that attracted their partner in the first place. 

When this happens, attraction wanes. 

Sexual polarity is key to sparking and maintaining a satisfying relationship. 

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2. Identify You And Your Partner’s True Nature 

It’s entirely possible that the woman in a female-led relationship has always had more masculine energy and is happy being the leader.  

If that’s the case (and the man is also happy), there’s no need to shift the dynamic of a relationship like this. 

However, it’s more likely that the woman in a FLR relationship has taken the leadership role begrudgingly. In this scenario, she’ll be resentful of her partner. This resentment often leads to bitterness, arguments and low libido. 

If these are features of your relationship, your woman is probably desperate for you to step up and take the lead. 

The following tips will help you to do that. If your partner shows strong resistance to them, it might be that she is a naturally masculine woman who wants a female-led relationship. 

However, in most cases, she’ll be delighted to make less decisions and relax into her divine femininity. 

3. Take Some Work Off Her Hands

Taking charge and getting things done is a key component of masculine energy. Every relationship needs at least one person to do that, or chaos ensues. No dates are planned, no bills are paid, the kids don’t have their needs met etc.

If a feminine woman deems her man incapable of leading the relationship, she’ll usually leave him. 

However, in many cases, notably if marriage and children are involved, she’ll resentfully step into the leadership role. 

It’s not in her feminine nature to take charge and get things done though. Even if she’s a perfectly capable leader, she’ll rarely be happy in a female-led relationship

She would much prefer for you to take control, so she can focus on being the playful, loving, caring symbol of femininity you fell in love with. Both partners would be much happier that way.

I’m not saying it’s right to dominate every aspect of your relationship. Your woman might genuinely like to make some decisions. Even in an old-school traditional relationship, the female would make decisions surrounding social engagements and the family home. 

The most important thing is proving you are capable of taking the lead and making decisions when necessary. 

4. Help Her Relax 

When stressed and fatigued, the feminine being tends to become more masculine, and vice versa.

Indeed, a woman needs to be relaxed to truly connect with her joyful, free-spirited nature.

Once a woman is dealing with the pressures of the triple shift, it can be hard to find time to relax. 

As her man, do what you can to create that time for her. Give her a relaxing massage. Run her a warm bath with her favorite salts and essential oils. Book her a spa day. Whatever it takes for her to unwind.  Do whatever you can to stay relaxed too. 

5. Stand Up To Her

A female-led relationship is characterised by the woman complaining and bossing her man around.  

Not wanting to start an argument with his partner, the man bows to her demands, thinking that will appease her.

The problem is: it also confirms her suspicions that he’s weak, spineless and unfit to lead the relationship.

Women will often act up in order to test their masculinity of their partner. When you stand up to her and refuse to buckle under her tests, it’s deeply satisfying for her. She feels safe in the power of your masculine presence. If you fold, it’s a huge turn-off.

So, if she’s making petty and unreasonable demands, it’s in both of your best interests for you to stand your ground. 

Of course, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to disagree with your partner. See this guide for help if your disagreements tend to escalate into fights. 

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6. She Vents, You Listen, You Solve. 

It often confuses a man when his woman seemingly only wants to vent about a problem, instead of letting him help to solve it.

This is her feminine energy in action.

Feminine energy runs off emotional connection. In many cases, when she’s venting, she wants to connect with her man. She wants to feel “seen” in her feminine form. Often, this is more important to her than fixing the problem.  

When you refuse to let her vent and insist on skipping ahead to solving the problem (which is your masculine energy in action), you’re refusing her feminine energy. She feels rejected and unseen, gets even more upset and probably refuses any help you try to offer.

Next time, she vents about a problem, listen fully. Validate her feelings. Only once you’ve done this, ask if she’s open to hearing ideas for fixing the situation. 

This process, without any skipped steps, confirms your role as the masculine and hers as the feminine. 

7. Buy Her A Dress

Our appearance affects how we feel.

Perhaps you’ve noticed how you feel like an alpha-male ready to kick ass in the workplace while wearing a new suit.

Well, when your woman is rocking a beautiful dress and a new haircut, she’ll usually feel more like a sexy symbol of femininity. 

This is partly why women spend so much time dolling themselves up. It’s not so much about impressing other people, as it is the joy of embracing their feminine nature. 

So, do what it takes to encourage your partner to do this. Buy her that new dress or that expensive make-up set she wants. Invite to a fancy dinner, so she has a reason to get dolled up.   

Just make sure not to push her too hard. That won’t work. In fact, she may regard this as a criticism of her everyday appearance. 

8. Encourage Her Femininity  

If she does want to cry, laugh, sing, dance or express her emotion in any way, encourage it! If she’s into any creative endeavours like writing or painting, encourage that!

Don’t dissuade her from these feminine behaviours. 

If you can become the masculine figure that encourages her femininity, she will love you for it. Do this well and she’ll be excited about maintaining traditional masculine and feminine roles in  the relationship.  

9. Take Control During Sex

Sex is the ultimate dance between masculine and feminine energy.

There’s no greater example of feminine energy wanting to submit, be led and express emotion. 

You might be surprised at the amount of women who love to be restrained, ordered around and  ‘punished’ during sex. The ‘50 Shades’ books and movies were extraordinarily popular for a reason. 

However, to do that, a woman needs a man she trusts to take control, put in the work and dominate her without judgement. 

If you’re not the one doing that already, you need to start.

Female-led sex does nothing to encourage traditional masculine and feminine roles. Nor would it be the most enjoyable sex for partners embracing these roles.

Yes, the female can take control during sex and have a great time. But this is not something her feminine energy desires. When the female fully trusts the male to dominate her, she can truly let go. That’s when the divine feminine is released, and that’s when the female experiences the most powerful orgasms of her life.

10. Let Her Be Vulnerable

Many men struggle to be openly vulnerable, especially in front of their partners. Indeed, men are often led to believe they must always appear strong. 

In recent times, this attitude has been labelled as one type of ‘toxic masculinity’, and rightly so. When one bottles up their emotions, it often leads to an explosion in the future. 

If your woman is showing this or any other aspect of ‘toxic masculinity’, it’s in everyone’s interest for you to talk sense into her. Let her know it’s OK to be vulnerable in front of you. Be that one ‘rock’ she can turn to.    

11. Encourage Introspection 

In some cases, the suggestions above may cause a power struggle.

If she’s resistant to transition from a female-led relationship, it might be that she really does want to be the leader.

However, it may still be worth encouraging her to explore why she always feels the need to be in charge. Why is she dismissing her femininity? Does she really want to boss you around all the time?

There may have been a past event that caused her to believe she must always control everything. A therapist or life coach is well qualified to help her explore why she feels this way. 

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Any other questions about dating or navigating a female-led relationship?   

I hope this article taught you something about what most women really want from a relationship. 

I’m not saying it’s right for every man and woman to embody the ‘traditional’ relationship, where a female stays home and the male makes all the decisions. I’m not saying one partner should have more power than the other. 

However, I do know that any woman with a feminine core will be happier with a man who can take charge and get things done. The tips above will help men prove they can be that guy.    

If you would like to ask a question about female-led relationships and how to navigate this type of relationship, you may do so in the comments below. Include details from your dating life, if you like. 

I’d love to hear what other people think about this type of relationship.

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