Why Does My Dad Hate Me? 13 Reasons Why It Looks Like It, But He’s Not! (2024)

‘Why does my dad hate me?’ If you’ve ever asked yourself this question, you’re in the right place because we’re going to dive deep into this issue. 

Even though it might not seem like it right now, your dad might not hate you after all. He might be going through something at work. He might have financial concerns that are making him scared for your family’s well-being. Or he just might be a poor communicator.

But you shouldn’t feel like your dad hates you. Nobody should feel like that.

So, to help you out, we’ve gathered some helpful information about the possible reasons you think your father hates you, but in reality, he doesn’t. Hopefully, you’re going to learn a lot about communication and mutual understanding so that you can talk to your dad about your problems and fix your troubled relationship.

So, without further ado, let’s dive in.

Why Does My Dad Hate Me All of a Sudden

You feel like your dad hates you. You feel like a terrible daughter. This family dynamic is taking a toll on your mental health, and you can’t take it anymore.

You want a better life for yourself. You want a happy life. You feel like you’re lacking your dad’s love. You ask yourself: Why does my father hate me all of a sudden after being a great parent to me my whole life?

First of all, verbal abuse and physical abuse are never acceptable. They are and never will be okay, especially from parents of their own children. So, if you’re experiencing any kind of domestic abuse, anger issues, or drug addiction, you should report it to someone. 

Whether that’s your best friend or a family relative, don’t be scared to speak up. If you need any support in the meantime, please feel free to reach out to me, and I’ll gladly navigate you through this challenging and emotional process.

But sometimes, you might feel like your dad dislikes you when in reality, he doesn’t. He’s just a human being. Parents tend to project their worries and fears onto their children. We sometimes forget that they are also human beings with their own complexities. 

Whether you’re a full-grown adult or still in your teenage years, your family relationships are very complex. There are a lot of emotions involved, so it’s difficult to see things clearly. Try to talk to someone who’s not your younger brother or older sister. You might be surprised about what you find out. This might help you change your point of view moving forward and realize that it’s not that your father hated you; he was just going through something in his life.

Signs That You Think Your Father Hates You but Is Not!

Why Does My Dad Hate Me
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If you want to improve these toxic relationships in your life, you should first determine whether you have a narcissistic parent, a father with a dysfunctional parenting style, or your lack of emotional distance is clouding your judgment. Here are the most common signs you think your dad hates you, but he actually doesn’t.

1. Your Father Might Have Emotional Trauma

Your father is a human being, just like you are. He has his own emotional baggage, childhood trauma, and bad life experiences. Sometimes he might do things that hurt you or let you down. This doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t love you; he just might be trying to deal with his emotional trauma. 

He might not even be aware of these behaviors, so you should tell him how he makes you feel. The chances are he loves you very much and will do everything for you, but he lacks self-awareness. Don’t be afraid to open up to him.

2. He Might Not Know How to Communicate

Another reason why it might look like your father hates you is that he doesn’t know know how to communicate. If he’s worried or even afraid for your well-being, his lack of communication skills might get in the way of telling you what’s bothering him. 

It may turn out worse than it seems when he tries to tell you about it. It may look like he’s crossing your personal boundaries (which he’s probably doing unintentionally), but it’s mostly because he doesn’t know how to put his concerns into words. 

3. Your Father Might Have Issues at Work

Being a parent isn’t easy. Not only are you responsible for another human being, but you’re also still responsible for yourself. Unfortunately, some parents tend to neglect their own well-being, focusing too much of their energy on their kids. So, when a job issue arises, they fail to own up to it, and they project their stress onto their kids. 

Your father might be dealing with some hardships at work that you’re not even aware of. If you feel like he’s taking it out on you, make sure you talk to him or someone else in the family about it.

4. It Might Be Tough Love

Everyone has a different parenting style. Some parents are gentle, while others are harsh and strict. If it seems like your father doesn’t love you at times, it might be because he’s using tough love parenting to prepare you for the world. 

He might mistakenly believe you will have a much better chance in the world if you’re tough and disciplined. While it’s true that the world is not fair, you don’t need to feel that tough love from your parents. His authoritative parenting might get in the way of your relationship, making you think he doesn’t love you. 

5. He Might Be Just Annoyed With You

Just like you can get annoyed at your parents, they can easily get frustrated with you, too, even more often than you think. They’re usually very good at hiding it, so you’re not even aware of it half the time. 

But some parents don’t know how to hide their true feelings. So your father might be acting the way he does out of frustration. He might be annoyed at your behavior. Instead of talking it through, he comes out harsh and angry, which is why you might believe he doesn’t love you.

6. He Might Be Angry, but That Doesn’t Mean He Doesn’t Love You

Just because your father is angry at you for breaking a rule, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. He’s just angry. But he probably stresses you out when he’s yelling at your or giving you the silent treatment. So it’s only natural to assume he doesn’t love you. Try to talk to him about how he’s making you feel or ask your family members for support.

7. He Might Show less affection than Before

What Is Toxic Dad
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Your father used to be a loving person. He used to tell you he loved you all the time, and he made you feel safe. But now he’s not as affectionate as he used to be. He seems cold and distant. 

This naturally makes you feel he doesn’t love you anymore, but that’s not true more often than not. Your dad might be going through a rough patch in his life or dealing with stressful things at work.

8. Your Ideologies Might Be Different

When you don’t agree with your parents on political and religious views, that might cause a rift between you. And how could it not? Ideologies are a sensitive area for everyone. As a result, you may think your father hates you for it. But the truth is, he probably doesn’t. It’s just that you have totally different views of the world.

9. He May Not Understand You

Another reason why you think your dad hates you is that he just doesn’t get you. You’re probably completely different than what he used to be at your age. And that’s normal. It was a different time back then. 

There’s always a generational gap between you and your parents. Your father probably had a completely different upbringing than you. So, the key is to find the common ground and mutual understanding. Family therapy might be of great help.

10. His Ego Might Be Getting in the Way

A big ego can be a good thing, but it can also stand in the way of effective parenthood. Your father might have a huge ego and a strong attitude. He might not realize that he’s wrong, or even worse, doesn’t want to accept that he’s not right. If he’s constantly pushing his beliefs onto you, it doesn’t mean he hates you; it’s just that his big ego is getting in the way.

11. His Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Your dad says he loves you, but then he yells and screams uncontrollably. He apologizes and says he won’t ever do it again, but it happens again and again. Of course, this behavior makes you think he doesn’t really love you. But it’s probable that he lacks self-awareness and needs to work on his emotions so that they don’t get a hold of him.

12. He Projects His Own Fears Onto You

Your father has his own insecurities, trauma, and fears. That’s why parenting is difficult for people who don’t know how to take responsibility for their emotions. And your father might be one of them. He might be projecting his own fears onto you instead of dealing with them by himself.

13. Consider the Fact That You Have a Toxic Father

Unfortunately, some people are not good parents. Whether that’s because they’re emotionally unstable, toxic, or immature, they simply don’t know how to be good parents to their kids. As a result, children feel hurt, guilty, and unloved. 

And that might be your case; you might feel your dad hates you because he’s toxic. If you want to work on your mental health and improve your self-esteem, I recommend you talk to a professional coach about it.

Signs My Father Hates Me

Reasons It Looks Like Your Dad Hates You But He Doesn't
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Being a parent is no walk in the park. And when you grow up and reach a certain level of maturity, you realize that nobody has any idea what they’re doing. Not even parents. While that’s a wonderful thing, it’s very scary at the same time. 

Some parents try their best, but unfortunately, there are some exceptions to this rule. Some parents become toxic figures who hinder their child’s development and neglect them altogether. 

You might feel your father is one of those parents. So to help you figure out where you are, here are the most common signs your dad hates you:

  • He’s verbally abusive
  • He’s physically abusive
  • He’s a narcissist
  • He never cares about your feelings
  • He intentionally and repeatedly hurts you
  • He controls you using guilt
  • His feelings always come before yours

FAQ: Why Does My Father Hate Me?

What Is a Toxic Dad?

Toxic people are everywhere, but when it’s your parents who are toxic, that’s an entirely different thing. If you have a bad relationship with your dad, you might not be still sure why. And there are many possible reasons you can’t find the middle ground in your relationship. But another reason could be that your father is toxic. 

So, what is a toxic dad? A toxic dad is manipulative, selfish, and narcissistic. He does what he wants without ever thinking about how he makes his son, daughter, or wife feel. 

He always insists on being right even when he clearly isn’t. He either compares you to your siblings or to other people, never fully accepting you for who you are.

A toxic dad is impossible to please. You always feel like you have to win over his love and affection. You often feel emotionally drained after spending time with him because he sucks all of your energy and positive vibes. 

Another trait of a toxic father is that he always plays the victim. No matter how much he hurts you, he’s always the victim, and you’re always to blame. He might also indulge in drug use, express anger toward your mother, or anger toward the whole world. 

Related: 150+ Toxic Family Members Quotes Walk Away, Let Go & Move On

Is It Normal to Dislike Your Father?

When you have a toxic father, it’s very much possible to feel hatred or dislike toward him. In most cases, children dislike their fathers because they make them feel unworthy and unloved. So if you’ve ever felt like you’re not good enough, you probably don’t like your father now.

These feelings typically appear in childhood, progressing over time into hatred and disgust toward your father. If your dad never tries to make your relationship better, it’s possible that you will never stop disliking him. 

However, you should try to put those negative feelings to rest for your own sake. A professional coach might help you find the peace you need to live your life to the fullest.

What to Do if Your Dad Is Mean?

If your dad is mean to you, you should talk to him about it. Tell him how he makes you feel. It might be hard at first to verbalize your feelings and be open with your father, but things will never change unless you do. 

If you’ve already tried everything and your dad is still mean to you, talk to your close family members. A professional therapist might help you heal yourself and set healthy boundaries with your father. Don’t let his mean attitude affect you. You should live your life and let him be, especially if he doesn’t want to change his behavior.

How Do You Deal With a Hatred Father?

How To Deal With Toxic Father
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If you have a toxic father, you might feel hatred or disgust toward him. So, how do you deal with these feelings? 

First of all, I suggest you talk to a professional therapist who will help you heal your inner child and set strong boundaries. With the help of a specialist, you’ll be able to understand your past experiences and move on from the past. 

Then, you should find a way to not let your father’s toxic behavior ruin your life. Whether that’s setting personal boundaries or cutting ties with him, you will feel much better when you learn how to deal with the hatred you feel toward your dad.

Why Does My Father Blame Me for Everything?

Your father might blame you for everything because he never learned to take responsibility for his own actions. Maybe he became a parent too young. Maybe he never matured. 

Whatever the reason is, you are absolutely not to blame for everything that’s gone sideways in his life, and don’t let him make you feel that way. He still has a lot of growing up to do, despite his age, so focus on yourself instead of trying to heal him.

How Can I Make My Dad Like Me?

Let’s be honest, you can never make anyone do anything that they don’t want to do. So if you’re wondering how to make your father like you, the truth is you probably can’t. And honestly, that’s your father’s responsibility, not yours. 

Good parents don’t make you feel unworthy of love or desperate for approval. So, instead of chasing his approval, focus on yourself. You should learn to love and accept yourself for who you are.

Why Does My Dad Hate Me but Love My Sister

If you feel like your dad hates you but loves your sister, you should talk to him about it. Tell him that you feel this way. He shouldn’t compare you to your sister at all, let alone hate you but love her. This is a concerning sign, and it probably means you have a toxic parent. 

Why Does My Dad Hate Me but Love My Brother

Every parent has a favorite child, but that has nothing to do with love. They always love every child the same, so don’t let their preferences make you believe they don’t love you as much as they love your older brother. It’s simply a thing of similarities they share with some children. Your father might have the same hobbies as your brother. 

However, if you feel your father hates you but loves your brother, this is a major issue, and you should address it as soon as possible. If you can’t talk to your dad or mom, make sure you talk to a professional.

Why Does My Dad Hate Me and My Mom

Feeling like your father hates both you and your mother is a huge cause for concern. Your family dynamic is not healthy. 

Whether that’s because your dad has his own issues or that your parents are going through a rough patch, they shouldn’t let these family problems reflect on your family dynamics. I suggest you confront your parents about it and tell them how you feel. 

Final Thoughts

Thanks for taking the time to read my article. I hope you found it helpful and that you understand these thirteen reasons why it looks like your father hates you, but in reality, he doesn’t.

As you can see, parents are just as flawed as any other human being. They have their own insecurities, fears, and emotional baggage. And these issues don’t magically disappear when you become a parent. Quite the opposite; they become bigger and more realistic.

However, a parent should never make you feel like you’re to blame for any of this. They should not make you feel like it’s your job to fix them. And they should definitely never project these fears onto you.

But unfortunately, some people are not capable of owning up to their mistakes and taking responsibility for their actions. They don’t even know how to be responsible for their feelings. This is a sign of emotional immaturity which naturally reflects on children.

If you feel like your father hates you, you should not ignore those feelings. Try to dig deeper and understand if your father is just going through something at work. Maybe he’s not ready to see you grow up. Whatever the reason is, you should try to talk to your dad about it. Communication is the key to a healthy father-child relationship. 

If I can help you in any way, don’t hesitate to ask. I’d be happy to provide some specific advice on improving your relationship with your parents. Also, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below; I hope I hear from you soon!

About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.