Why Does My Boyfriend Hate Me: 21 Telltale Signs & Why It’s Not True 2022

It feels like a punch in the gut!

After dating for a while, your boyfriend’s behavior has suddenly changed. You start to sense hateful feelings. He’s abusive, doesn’t listen to you, is critical of your faults, and now makes zero effort.

This behavior change is driving you crazy. When you think about all the signs your partner is giving off, you start wondering:

  • “Why does my boyfriend hate me?”
  • “What did I do for him to treat me that way?”

But before you jump to any conclusions, it’s essential to take a step back and look at the situation objectively. In most cases, it’s not true that your boyfriend hates you. There are usually other explanations for why things may seem this way.

In this article, we will discuss 21 telltale signs your boyfriend may hate you, as well as why it’s not always accurate to read into them too deeply.

Here’s what you’ll learn:

Let’s get right into it. 

Why Does My Boyfriend Hate Me

21 Signs That Your Boyfriend May Hate You

#1. He Starts Picking Fights With You More Often

One of the main reasons you might ask yourself the question, “why does my boyfriend hate me” is that he’s picking fights with you more often.

Everything you say or do sets the stage for a fight. 

It might seem like he gets some sick satisfaction from getting into arguments with you, and that’s why he’s doing it more often. 

But the reality is that picking fights often shows something else going on.

Maybe your partner is feeling overwhelmed and stressed. Perhaps there’s something else going on in his private life that he’s dealing with, and he’s using you as a punching bag to relieve some of that pent-up frustration.

#2. He Ends Every Fight By Threatening to Leave You

Unlike when he used to try and work things out after a fight, your partner now threatens to leave you whenever you argue.

It’s like he’s using the break-up as a weapon, and it’s becoming his go-to move whenever things get heated between the two of you.

This behavior can be confusing and hurtful. After all, why would he stay with someone he hates?

But the truth is, your partner probably doesn’t actually want to leave you.

More likely, he’s just trying to scare you into submission. He wants to control the situation by making you think he’s ready to walk away at any moment.

#3. He Blames You For Everything

It doesn’t matter what it is. If there’s a problem, he’s quick to point the finger at you. Every time something goes wrong, it’s because of something you did or didn’t do.

He never takes any responsibility for his actions, and everything is always your fault.

This type of behavior can be challenging to deal with. After a while, it starts to feel like he‘s harboring hate feelings towards you, and you can’t do anything right in his eyes.

But the reality is that he’s probably a narcissist avoiding taking any responsibility for his actions.

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#4. He Puts You Down in Public

Your boyfriend used to be your biggest cheerleader. He always told you how proud he was of you and loved showing you off to his friends and family.

But now, it feels like he’s embarrassed by you. He puts you down in front of other people and always points out your flaws.

This behavior can be hurtful and have a negative effect on your self-esteem. This could be why you might start thinking that your boyfriend hates you.

But the truth is, he’s probably just insecure.

#5. He’s Overly Critical of Your Flaws

It’s one thing to be critical of your flaws, but it’s another to focus on them obsessively.

Your partner used to overlook the things that bugged him about you, but now it seems like he can’t let anything go. He’s constantly pointing out your imperfections and makes you feel like you can’t do anything right.

This behavior is a red flag and could be why you may think your boyfriend hates you.

But the truth is, he’s probably just feeling insecure about himself.

Related: Signs Of A Love-Hate Relationship & How To Fix It

#6. He No Longer Wants To Do Things Together

One of the main things that helped you feel close to your partner was that you liked doing things together.

You loved going on adventures, exploring new places, and hanging out with friends.

But now, it feels like he’s avoiding spending time with you. He’s always busy and has an excuse for why he can’t hang out.

When you do spend time together, it feels like he’s not present. He’s always on his phone or is distracted by something else.

This behavior can be hurtful and could be one of the main reasons you think your partner hates you.

But the truth is, he might just be feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. It could also mean that he may be planning to end the relationship.

boyfriend hates me
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#7. He Stops Putting in Any Effort

In any healthy and solid relationship, both partners always work to improve things.

But if it feels like your partner has stopped putting in any effort, it’s a red flag.

He doesn’t put any thought into date night, he doesn’t bother trying to make you happy, and he doesn’t do anything to improve the relationship.

It’s like he doesn’t care anymore, which can be hurtful.

But the truth is, he might just be feeling hopeless. He could feel like no matter what he does, it’s not going to make a difference, so why bother?  

#8. He Starts Excluding You From His Future Plans

Your partner used to include you in all his plans. He would talk about the things he wanted to do and the places he wanted to go and always ensure you were included.

But now, it feels like he’s excluding you from his future. He talks about the things he wants to do without even considering if you would like to do them too.

It’s like he doesn’t see you in his future, and this can be hurtful.

But the truth is, he might just be feeling lost. He could be unsure of what he wants and might not know how to include you in his plans.

#9. He Emotionally Pulls Away From You

Your partner used to be open with you. He would share his feelings, tell you about his day, and always wanted to hear about what was going on in your life.

But now, it feels like he’s emotionally pulled away from you. He doesn’t want to share his feelings and seems disconnected from you.

This behavior can be hurtful and is one of the main signs that your partner may hate you.

But the truth is, he might just be feeling overwhelmed. He could be dealing with something else in his personal life and is using you to cope.

Why does your boyfriend hate you
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#10. He Changed His Passwords & Started Hiding Things From You

One of the most hurtful things a partner can do is start hiding things from you. It’s a sign of distrust, and it makes you feel like he doesn’t think you’re worthy of his trust.

This change in behavior could be why you think that your boyfriend hates you.

But the truth is, he might just be feeling paranoid. 

#11. He’s No Longer Caring and Attentive

Your partner used to be so caring and attentive. He always went out of his way to ensure you were happy and did things to make you feel loved.

But now, it feels like he doesn’t care about you anymore. He’s no longer as attentive and doesn’t seem to care about your happiness.

#12. He No Longer Notices Your Accomplishments

Your boyfriend used to be so proud of your accomplishments. He would always brag about you to his friends and family and always made sure you felt appreciated.

But now, it feels like he doesn’t even notice your accomplishments. He doesn’t say anything when you achieve something and doesn’t care about your successes.

This is why you might think that he’s harbouring resentful feelings towards you.

But in reality, he might just be feeling insecure, and your accomplishments could be making him feel worse about himself. Or, he could be going through something difficult, and your successes remind him of what he’s struggling with.

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#13. He’s Stopped Defending You

Another reason you might feel like your boyfriend hates you is that he’s stopped defending you.

In the past, he would always stand up for you and defend you when someone said something mean or hurtful. But now, it feels like he doesn’t care about you anymore.

He’s stopped defending you, making you feel like he hates you.

#14. He Compares You To Other Women

Comparing you to other women is a huge red flag and is one of the signs that your boyfriend may hate you.

Comparing you to other women makes you feel like you’re not good enough for him. It makes you feel like he’s always looking for someone better and that he will never be satisfied with you.

But the truth is, he might just be a terrible human being who gets off from putting others down.

Related: Why My Husband Looks At Other Females Online? 20 Tips What To Do

#15. He’s Spends More Time With Other Women Than He Does With You

Other than comparing other women with you, your partner might also start spending more time with them.

He would rather go out with his female friends than spend time with you, and he always seems to be texting or talking to other women when you’re around.

This could be why you think that your boyfriend may hate you.

Probably he doesn’t hate you. However, his flirting with other women could indicate that he may be planning to leave you.

#16. He Stops Apologizing

Your boyfriend used to be so good at taking responsibility for his actions. He would always try to make things right after he did something wrong.

But now, it feels like he doesn’t care about your relationship anymore. No matter how much he hurts you, he’s never sorry.

While he might not necessarily hate you, this could indicate him being tired of the relationship. It could also show signs of narcissistic personality disorder.

#17. He Doesn’t Want to Have Sex With You

Another reason you may ask yourself, “why does my boyfriend hate me?” is that he no longer wants to get intimate with you.

He doesn’t kiss you as passionately as he used to and always makes excuses not to have sex with you. It’s as if he’s no longer interested in you.

Thanks to this lack of sexual interest, you end up thinking that your boyfriend hates you.

However, that may not be the case. Sometimes, his lack of interest could be because he’s preoccupied. It could also be because he no longer finds you sexually attractive. But this doesn’t mean he hates you.

why does your boyfriend show signs of hate
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#18. He Doesn’t Look At You The Same Way

When you started dating, your boyfriend couldn’t stop looking at you. He always looked at you in awe and with love.

But now, it seems like he can’t even stand to look at you. And if he looks at you, it’s with disgust or resentment, which is why you may think he hates you.

However, while he may not hate you, a shift in how he looks at you could indicate a lack of interest in you.

#19. He’s Consistently Giving You The Silent Treatment

When you’re in a fight or he’s upset about something, your boyfriend will give you the silent treatment.

He won’t respond to your texts, he’ll pretend like you don’t exist, and it makes you feel like he hates you.

However, silent treatment is actually a form of emotional abuse and could have a negative impact on your mental health.

#20. He’s More Secretive Than He Used To Be

Your boyfriend used to be an open book. You knew everything about him, and he would tell you anything you wanted to know.

But now, it feels like he’s got one foot out the door. He’s more secretive and doesn’t share as much with you.

This could be a sign that he’s losing interest in you. Or it could be a sign that he’s cheating on you.

#21. He Doesn’t Say I Love You Anymore

The final reason you might ask yourself, “why does my boyfriend hate me,” is that he no longer confesses his love to you.

He used to say “I love you” all the time. But now, those three little words have disappeared from his vocabulary.

However, the lack of these words doesn’t necessarily mean he hates you.

It could probably be because he doesn’t feel the same way anymore or is getting ready to break up with you.

Now that you know some signs that your boyfriend may hate you, let’s look at why he’s acting that way.

Does my boyfriend hate me
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Why Does My Boyfriend Hate Me?

There are several reasons why your boyfriend may act like he hates you. Some of the most common include:

  • You’re a control freak
  • You take him for grated
  • You don’t respect his boundaries
  • You don’t have enough time for him
  • You flirt with everyone
  • He’s an abusive person
  • You’ve just told him your pregnant.

What To Do When Your Boyfriend Hates You?

One of the first things you should do when you suspect your boyfriend hates you is to talk to him and try to find out why he’s acting that way and see if there’s anything you can do to improve the situation.

You could also suggest going to couples therapy with him to find out what’s driving his behavior change.

If you’ve tried everything and nothing seems to work, it might be time to consider breaking up with him.

Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Necessarily Hate You

There you go.

Twenty-one signs that may indicate that your boyfriend hates you. I hope this article helped you understand why your boyfriend may hate you and why it’s often not the case.

Sometimes, these signs could indicate other issues in what you thought was a healthy relationship or with him.

Do you know of any other signs to look out for>? Please tell us in the comment section below.

And if you have any questions about why your boyfriend may be acting this way, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us. We’re here to help. 

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