Why Did He Kiss Me If We Are Just Friends? 21 Reasons (2024)

A male friend kissed you and now you’re wondering: “why did he kiss me if we are just friends?” What a dilemma.

Why Did He Kiss Me If We Are Just Friends
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The potential reasons are numerous, but I’ve listed 21 of the most common explanations below.

In my role as a life coach, I am often helping clients better understand themselves and those closest to them. 

So, let’s dive in.   

What Does It Mean If A Friend Kisses You?

1. He Has Always Been Attracted To You And Was Waiting For The Right Moment To Make His Move

I would guess this is the most likely reason he kissed you. A lot of men are too afraid to admit they’re attracted to a girl straight away, so they opt to become friends first, flirt subtly and see if you reciprocate.

Most guys will give you mixed signals at best. Often, they’re so afraid that their subtle flirting is non-existent. Sometimes, they’ll wait for you to make the first move.    

Anyway, these so-called friends will always be waiting for the perfect moment to make things happen. So, maybe he decided that his moment arrived – and that’s why he kissed you now after all these occasions talking and spending time together.

Related Content: Clear Signs Your Male Friend Has Feelings For You

2. You Were Flirting And He Couldn’t Resist

Maybe he genuinely saw you as just a friend, until you started flirting with him.

When a woman does that, it can help a guy see her in a different light.

A lot of men will settle for women who make it easy for them, especially if they’re already friends.  

3. He Was Horny

When a guy is super-horny, the scope of people who he’s willing to kiss widens dramatically.

4. He Was Lonely  

When a guy is feeling lonely, he’s more likely to kiss a woman he’s ‘just friends’ with to try and get rid of that feeling.

5. He’s A Player

Players will kiss friends, enemies and most women they meet in the bar, even if they have no real feelings or desires to cultivate long-term relationships with them. It’s just what players do.

Related Content: 27 Clear Signs He’s A Player 

6. Kisses Are Not A Big Deal To Him

Kisses mean different things to different people. To some guys, kissing is just a fun thing to do whether you have serious feelings for the other person or not. For him, your feelings don’t matter. He might think if it makes both people feel good, then why not?

He’s almost definitely a player if he has the attitude, by the way.

7. He Was Bored

Maybe you were at a party. Perhaps he was bored of people chatting about mundane topics and asking him random questions. So, he decided it would be more fun to make out with you. Another clear sign of a player, but go figure!

8. You Managed To Win Him Over

It’s possible that he genuinely wanted to be ‘just friends’, but you grew on him over time. 

Wait a go! 

These are the purest types of romantic relationships and maybe that’s what he wants from you now.  

Related Content: CLEAR Signs Your Guy Friend Is Falling For You

9. He Wants A ‘Friends With Benefits’ Relationship

Perhaps he kissed you to test whether you’re down for a friends with benefits arrangement. This is a less romantic type of relationship, but they’re becoming more common in today’s ‘hook-up culture’.

10. He Thought You Were About To Kiss Him

Maybe there was a body language mix-up, you surprised him and he decided that kissing you was the right thing to do. Now that happened, you need to talk to decide where you want to take your friendship.

11. He Thought You Need A Self-Esteem Boost

Could it be that he kissed you to boost your confidence? That’s a real friend right there! This idea is more likely in the movies than in real life, but it’s in the list anyway.

12. He Gets A Kick Out Of Rebellious Kisses

There’s something a bit taboo about kissing a woman who is supposed to be just a friend. Some men get a kick out of taboo-busting behavior and maybe that’s the only reason why he kissed you.

13. He Was Drunk

Alcohol messes with your perception and your inhibitions, sometimes causing you to kiss people you would never dream of trying to kiss.

“I was drunk” is a common excuse used by people who regret kissing someone, but there’s usually a deeper reason why it happened on top of that. 

14. You Were His Last Resort

This is a sad one. But some guys will dramatically lower their standards for who they’ll kiss when they really want to have sex with someone.

This answer is essentially a mix of “he was drunk, he was horny and he was lonely”, but these are not good excuses to mess with a friend’s feelings.

Honestly, these aren’t good excuses to try and kiss anyone you’re not attracted to.  

Related: What Makes A Man Want To Kiss A Woman? 17 Traits & Qualities

15. He Is Looking For A Rebound

If a guy is going through a break-up, he may be willing to hook up with a wider range of people to try and get over his ex.

Girls do this too – but this isn’t the healthiest way to process your emotions, especially when you’re potentially jeopardising a friendship.  

16. He’s Trying To Impress His Friends

A lot of men are impressed if their friend can attract a lot of girls. Perhaps he kissed you to try and get some other guy’s validation.

17. He’s Trying To Prove Something To Himself

A lot of men base their own self-esteem on how skilled they are at attracting women. So, maybe he just kissed you to boost his own ego.

18. He Kissed You To Make Another Girl Jealous

If some other girl is choosing to ignore him, he might try and kiss you to get her attention. Could it be that you got caught in the middle of this pair’s silly mind games?

19. He Wants To Scare Another Girl Away!

Perhaps he was trying to fool an unattractive girl into thinking you were his girlfriend? It happens.

20. He’s Having Troubles In His Relationship

Sadly, a lot of people react to relationship troubles by seeking affection from other people. It’s the wrong thing to do – but you shouldn’t feel bad if you didn’t know he had a girlfriend.

21. Maybe He’s Never Kissed Anyone Before

Perhaps he saw you as the opportunity to get that monkey off his back. 

Why Did He Kiss Me
Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

Frequently Asked Questions: When A Guy Kisses You Who’s Just A Friend

What Does A Kiss Mean To A Guy?

It usually means he’s attracted to you, although there are a few exceptions in the list above.

However, it might not mean that he’s looking for a relationship with you, or even to kiss you again.

To find out his real feelings, you’re going to have to talk to him.   

Does It Mean A Guy Likes You If He Kisses You?

Most guys will kiss a girl they’re attracted to, even if he doesn’t like her personality. However, since you were close friends already, it’s fair to assume he likes you as a friend and is probably attracted to you too. This isn’t something guys do as just a friendly gesture.

Related Content: What Does His Kiss Say About His Feelings?

Why Would He Kiss Me If He Wasnt Interested?

There are many selfish reasons why a friend would kiss you if he wasn’t interested in a relationship.

Maybe he just got caught up in the emotions or the circumstances of that night. Perhaps he finds you attractive, but he’s not looking for a relationship with anyone. Could it be that he regrets kissing you, but wants to remain friends? These are all common scenarios.   

Will A Man Kiss A Woman He Is Not Attracted To?

There are some rare situations when a man will kiss a woman he’s not attracted to.

This could happen when alcohol is messing with his perception and inhibitions. It may also happen when he’s feeling exceptionally lonely or desperate.

Related: 23 Real Signs The Kiss Meant Something To Him

How Do You Know If A Guy Friend Wants To Kiss You?

Listen to the words he says. Is he subtly trying to flirt with you? Does he treat you better than his other female friends? If he’s a shy person, these might be the only signs he’ll give that he wants to kiss you.

The most obvious body language signs are that he moves into your personal space, touches you unnecessarily and stares at your lips. You can learn about more subtle body language cues in my list of signs he wants you badly sexually.  

Why Did He Kiss Me On The Lips?

While a kiss on the head or the cheek is a sign of friendship, a kiss on the lips is motivated by physical attraction. A passionate French kiss with tongues is a romantic indicator of sexual desire. 

How To Know If He Enjoyed The Kiss?

When a man initiates a kiss, he will enjoy it 99% of the time. He’ll only really regret kissing you if you have bad breath or if your kissing technique is truly awful.

The clearest sign that a man enjoyed kissing you is that he tries to kiss you again. Two good kisses are always better than one, after all. 

Related: How To Tell He Loves You By His Kiss

Why Did He Kiss Me If We Are Just Friends: Any More Questions?

Thanks for reading my guide. I pray that these words bring more clarity to your situation. 

I realize that some of these answers don’t paint men in the best light. Many of these reasons for men kissing a friend don’t consider the woman’s emotions at all – and that’s a shame.

A kiss should be a romantic gesture only. If a man wants to be friends with a woman, he should respect that boundary forever, unless his feelings change genuinely.  

I hope for the sake of your friendship that this guy kissed you because of genuine affection. However, the only way to know for sure is to talk to him – and hope he gives you an honest answer. Have this conversation in person. 

If you have any questions on the topic of kisses between friends, don’t forget you can write me a comment in the box below. 

I’d love to hear from readers of my site and would like to continue talking about this topic, so it would be great to hear from you.

About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.