Why Am I Sexually Attracted To Older Men? 21 Reasons (2024) & Psychology

This guide will answer the question: “Why am I sexually attracted to older men?”.

Why Am I Sexually Attracted To Older Men
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In my role as a life coach, I am always helping clients better understand themselves and those around them. 

That’s why I’m excited to share this guide with you. 

Let’s dive in.

What Attracts A Younger Girl To An Older Man?

There are psychological theories surrounding what makes young women attracted to older men – and we’ll explore these in this guide.

However, it’s not always that deep!

Often, it’s simply that older men are more likely than younger men to have the qualities that women find attractive.  

With that said, let’s dive into my list of 21 reasons why younger women feel attracted to older men. 

1. Attracted To Older Men Psychology

It’s often suggested that women with ‘daddy issues’ seek to replace an absent or uncaring father figure with an older lover.  

This idea was first brought up by Sigmund Freud. You can look up his work on the ‘father complex’ if you want to learn more. 

I don’t want to dwell on this too much because ‘daddy issues’ is such a common conclusion for people to draw without even examining the father/daughter relationship.

There are so many other reasons why younger women are attracted to older guys, so let’s explore those instead.

2. Older Men Are More Likely To Be Successful

Let’s be real here.

The majority of older men attracting younger women are successful. It doesn’t take a relationship coach to realize this. 

Success is an honest signal, proving that a man has developed a number of the attractive traits listed in this guide.

Most younger guys simply haven’t had the time to develop these qualities or build a high level of success yet.   

3. He Showed Interest In You

Older men who are single and successful mostly want a young partner.

They value the youth and beauty of younger women more than whatever older women bring to the table.

The simple fact that an older man chose to show his interest can be enough to make younger women at least consider dating him.

4. They’re More Masculine

Today’s generation of younger guys are generally less masculine than previous generations. They’re less likely to have a father figure at home or at school. The media and society-at-large is teaching them that masculinity is ‘toxic’. It’s a mess.

Whatever your views are on this, the fact is: feminine women are more likely to be attracted to hyper-masculine men. 

5. They’re More Dominant

Older men were raised in an era where men were more dominant in their relationships. This is a key trait of masculinity. A naturally submissive feminine woman is likely to find this to be an attractive trait.

6. They Know How To Treat A Woman

Older men typically have more dating experience. They were raised in a time before all of this ‘woke’ dating advice was spread by the media. They’re more likely to know how to treat a woman and make a relationship work.

7. They’re Emotionally Stable 

Older men are more likely to be in control of their emotions. They have built up their emotional intelligence over time. Their younger counterparts are more likely to let their emotions get the better of them, especially in romantic disagreements.

8. They Don’t Play Mind Games

Being less emotionally mature, younger men are more likely to play games in their relationships. An older guy is more likely to be honest and upfront about what he wants. 

9. They’re More Confident

Social confidence mostly comes from being comfortable with who you are. This comes with time and that’s why men are typically more grounded and secure at an advanced age. Younger men are the complete opposite. Most of those in their teens and early 20s are still trying to figure out who they are and struggle to feel secure without the attention of women. 

10. Power And Status

Power and status are extremely attractive traits. Older men are more likely to have acquired these, because they’ve had more time to climb the career ladder and develop the personality needed to gain status.

11. Leadership Skills

Women love a strong leader. Again, older men have had more time to develop leadership skills, build a successful business or climb the corporate ladder. Most younger guys have a boss at work, some still live with their parents, while many are still learning to lead themselves.

12. Freedom

Younger guys have to study and work a lot. If a successful mature man is retired, he has all the time in the world to treat a younger woman to fun dates.

13. Wealth

Yes, there are gold diggers out there who only want a sugar daddy to buy them material things, not a serious relationship.

Perhaps a younger woman will be unfairly labelled as a gold digger when seeking relationships with older men. It’s another easy buzz phrase for people to use when they don’t understand or appreciate relationships with an age difference.

However, the truth is: all women want to feel financially stable. That’s why most women choose to date a financially stable man. That way, they can guarantee financial stability for themselves and their future children.

Financial security is something all women want in a relationship – and it’s time to stop pretending otherwise. 

14. Intelligence

In most cases, more life experience equals more intelligence. This isn’t as easy for younger women to find in someone their own age. Indeed, it’s often said that many young girls mature much faster than young guys.

15. They’re Better In Bed

It typically takes a while for young men to ‘find their feet’ in the bedroom. Many have no idea what they’re doing until they’ve racked up their fair share of partners, or at least one experienced older partner.

An older man might not have the raging libido of a younger guy, but you’d imagine he has learned how to please a woman when he’s in the mood.   

16. They Have More Interesting Life Stories

Older people with more life experience have more interesting life stories. An older guy might not be able to gossip with you about Tekashi 69, but he’ll be able to teach you a lot about life and the world.

17. It’s Rebellious

Despite this mammoth list of reasons why mature men are attractive, it still goes against social norms to date with a huge age gap. This might appeal to younger women who are naturally rebellious.

18. Some Women Like The Attention

Because they go against social norms, age-gap relationships will get people talking. The thing is: many women will enjoy this attention, even if it’s negative from some quarters. 

19. Women Enjoy The High Life

Successful older men have the time and money to take you on all the dream date locations in your city – and maybe around the world. The stereotypical younger dude will invite you for Netflix and Chill – or maybe drinks at the local bar.

20. They’re Well-Dressed

Sure, a lot of older men ‘dress like dads’, which is hardly attractive to most women.

However, successful older men tend to be aware of how important their appearance is. First impressions count in the business world and in dating, and these guys can afford to dress like the successful champions they are.

21. They’re Different

A guy who is ‘different’ will often spark a woman’s curiosity at least. This might be enough to land him a first date. At this point, he can begin to show all the attractive traits that make him a good partner.

Frequently Asked Questions

Let’s round off this guide with the answers to some frequently asked questions about younger women dating older men. 

Attracted To Older Men
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What Is It Called When A Woman Is Attracted To Older Men?

It’s simply called attraction. Hopefully, this guide has clarified how normal it is for younger women to be attracted to older men.   

What Does It Mean When You Are Attracted To Older Guys?

It means you’re attracted to traits like power, status, financial security, confidence, intelligence and masculinity, rather than boyish good looks. 

Why Am I Attracted To A Man 10, 20, Or 30 Years Older Than Me?

There are psychological explanations surrounding ‘daddy issues’ and women wanting to replace their absent father’s attention. However, in most cases, it’s simply because this man has more attractive traits than the younger men you know.

Why Do Some People Disapprove Of Age-Gap Relationships?

Are you being pressured to only date men who are a similar age to you?

Sometimes, people do this because they’re worried you’re not mature enough to make your own decisions in this dating game. Older men are often accused of manipulating younger women into relationships, which seems unfair presuming it’s grown women they’re persuing, not little girls. 

The main reason women and men talk badly about these relationships is jealousy. Older women are trying to build a narrative that it’s ‘creepy’ to date younger women, because they want the successful older men for themselves. Younger men might adopt the same narratives if they’re being looked over by women their own age.

You may notice that it’s rarely younger women or older men themselves talking smack about this type of relationship.    

How Do I Know If An Older Man Likes Me?

Unlike younger men, an older guy is more likely to come out and say it. Successful older men don’t have time to play games or drop subtle hints in their search for the right partner.

However, if they don’t want to put too much pressure on you, there is a list of signs you can look for.  

See my list of Powerful Signs Of Male Attraction – Including Subconscious.

Where Can I Find Single Older Men? 

There are dating sites specifically for age-gap relationships, so sign up for these if that’s the type of relationship you’re looking for.

In real life, successful older guys will be seeking dates in the spots where younger women like to hang out. An older man will often buy a table in the city’s hottest nightclub. He might host his own events and slide into women’s Instagram DMs to invite them. 

Indeed, in this new world of digital dating, a successful older man will usually find you if you’re attractive enough.  

Any More Questions?

Thanks for reading my guide on why women date older men.

Hopefully, it will help you understand why you prefer mature men over guys your own age.

Typically, it’s not the wrinkles or the gray hair, but the personality and lifestyle that an older man brings to the table.  

If you have a question about age gaps in relationships, feel free to leave me a comment below.

It would be great to hear from you – and I’ll do my best to reply to as many comments as possible. 

About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.