24 Signs When To Call It Quits In A Relationship & Important Questions To Ask Before (2024)

Are you wondering whether to give up on your partner or keep working to make things better. This guide will advise you on when to call it quits in a relationship. 

In my role as a life coach, I am often helping clients learn how to connect better with the important people in their life. 

That’s why I’m keen to share this guide with you. 

24 Signs It Might Time To Call It Quits In A Relationship

These are some of the most common reasons people decide it’s time to call it quits in a relationship.

1. You’re Always Fighting

There will always be disagreements in a relationship, but if it seems like you’re fighting with your partner more than you’re getting on, that could mean it’s time to call it quits.

2. The Relationship Is One-Sided 

If it feels like you’re putting in all the work to the relationship and your partner is putting in none, that could be a reason to call it a day. They should be putting in their fair share of effort. 

3. You Have Nothing To Talk About  

Perhaps the lust and the butterflies of the honeymoon period have disappeared and now you’ve realised you have very little in common.

4. You’re Unhappy Around Them 

A long-term relationship is supposed to make you happy. If you’re mostly unhappy around your partner, it could be time to end the relationship. 

When To Call It Quits In A Relationship
Photo By cookie_studio On freepik

5. You Never Communicate About What You Want 

If your partner is the type of person to do what they want without speaking to you about it, that’s certainly one of the relationship red flags that need fixing. Communication is one of the major keys to a healthy relationship.  

If you never talk about what you want in a relationship, this needs to be fixed too. If your partner refuses to communicate, perhaps it’s time to call it a day.

6. They Make No Effort

Your partner might say they love you, but if they don’t do anything to show that, you might feel like your partner never values you. A lack of effort on either side can drive your relationship into a dead end.

7. They Show No Appreciation For Your Efforts

This can hurt your feelings and make you feel unloved even worse than their lack of effort. You have every right to want to share your life with a partner who values and appreciates you.

8. They Show No Commitment 

If your partner refuses to do anything to show their long-term commitment to you, that’s likely to hurt your feelings and make you feel insecure in the relationship. It should be obvious they want you as a mainstay in their life. 

If they don’t show that, it could be that they’re emotionally unavailable, but it’s still reasonable that you’d be thinking about calling it quits with this person.

9. They Rarely Support You 

A sense of support is what most people want and expect from their relationships. It’s one of the basic needs. If your partner doesn’t support your major life decisions or personal projects, that’s a clear sign to think about terminating your relationship.

10. They Drag You Down

This is one step beyond showing no support. If your partner is actively discouraging you from making the best of your life, that’s another clear sign this person is not right for you. It’s little wonder that you’d feel unhappy in this type of relationship. They should be helping you become your best self. 

11. There’s A Lack Of Trust In The Relationship

Trust is one of the most important relationship pillars. If two partners don’t trust each other, the relationship is doomed to fail.

If your partner doesn’t trust you and this leads to conflict, they need to address this with individual therapy if they don’t want to break up. Of course, if you’re giving them reasons not to trust you, that’s something you need to work on. 

It works the opposite way around if you’re the one who doesn’t trust them too.

Related: Why Does He Keep Me Around If He Doesn’t Want A Relationship?

12. They Always Lie   

If they’re always lying to you, this will give you fair reason not to trust them. Of course, this is going to cause conflict in a relationship, make issues arise and make you want to break up. It can be harmful for your mental health to have a serial liar in your life. 

13. They Neglect Their Reponsibilities

Is your current partner the type of person who will not do what they promised to do? It’s completely normal for you to not want to continue a partnership with this person. After all, how could you trust a person like this to be a parent to your child? 

14. They’re Always Trying To Control You  

If your partner is always trying to control you, it’s fair that you would want to break off the relationship. This is supposed to be an equal partnership, not one where your every move is controlled. It’s fair to want freedom within your relationship. A relationship without this is not a healthy relationship.

15. There’s No Intimacy  

This is considered a huge deal-breaker in most relationships. Sex does matter to most people  in relationships! It’s a natural human desire.

16. You Have Different Plans For The Future 

If one of you wants children and the other doesn’t, what’s the point of staying in a relationship? If one of you is committed to moving to Australia and the other is committed to staying in the United States, why continue to spend time together now? 

Partners should gain clarity on each other’s life goals before getting into a relationship. You should have the same values and plans for the future. 

17. Your Partner Is Immature   

A partner’s immaturity is something that can grind you down and make you want to walk away from a relationship. This is especially true if their immaturity causes them to hurt you or treat you badly. 

Mutual respect is important in a relationship and it’s difficult to respect an immature partner. You deserve a partner with the same emotional maturity as you.

18. They Have Emotionally Abused You 

Gaslighting, poison-dripping, bullying, psychological manipulation. These are all forms of emotional abuse and should be considered major red flags in any relationship.

Related Content: Push-Pull Relationship – How To Break The Cycle

19. They Have Unresolved Issues

Does your partner have old wounds that haven’t closed? Maybe they have unresolved issues with anger, addiction, substance abuse or another mental health problem? 

Sometimes, it’s in both of your best interests for you to leave. Often, it’s the only way they can move forward, so don’t feel guilty about it. If you remain in a relationship with a person like this, you can often end up enabling their toxic behavior.

20. There’s No Romance In Your Relationship

Romance is an important part of a relationship for a lot of people. If your partner is never romantic, it can make some people not feel valued.

21. They Cheat On You   

Infidelity can cause irreversible damage to your feelings. Of course, you wouldn’t want to keep a person like this in your life. A relationship rarely finds solid ground after one partner is made aware of the other’s infidelity. Most men and women can’t help but wonder if their partner is going to do it again, no matter how much they try to forgive them. 

22. They Physically Abuse You   

There’s no excuse for physical abuse in any relationship. Get out as quickly and safely as you can.

Related: Therapist Hacks – How To Stop Fighting With Your Partner

23. Their Family Is Unbearable

If your partner has unbearable family members who keep interfering in your relationship, it’s natural to not want to be in it anymore. Why would you want to marry into this family?

If your partner insists that you need to be spending time with people you can’t stand, that could wear you down in the long run. There needs to be some sort of compromise reached, so you at least feel heard about this issue.

24. You Are No Longer In Love

A lot of the entries in this list might sound obvious. Yet, a lot of people will try to jump these hurdles if they’re truly in love. 

If you look deep down in your heart and feel as if you’re not in love anymore, that’s arguably the clearest sign that it’s time to call it quits. 

When To Call It Quits With Your Partner?

You’ve read the signs that you’re probably in an unhappy relationship, but every relationship has its ups and downs, right?

Call It Quits
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So, how do you know it’s time to call it quits on your relationship, rather than working to improve it? 

Below are some useful questions to ask yourself to find the answer. 

Questions To Ask Before Calling It Quits

These are some important questions to ask before deciding it’s time to call it quits.

  • Have you told your partner what’s bothering you about the relationship? Have you given them opportunities to improve?
  • Does your partner agree that they need to improve in these areas? Have they shown indications that they’re able to grow, even if they’ve slipped up a couple of times? 
  • Can you imagine life in the future where you’re happy with this person, perhaps if they change certain things?  
  • Have you considered what YOU can do to improve the relationship? Have you spoken with your partner about this?
  • Have you considered couples counseling or a similar alternative where you speak to an unbiased third party like an online therapist about your problems? 

The answers to these questions should make it clear if there’s hope remaining for your relationship, or if you’ve exhausted all possible options for improvement.

Related Content: Expert Tips To Consider Before Leaving A Relationship

When To Call It Quits In A Marriage

It’s true that most couples fight harder to save their relationship after getting married, whether that’s because of the vows they made in front of God and their loved ones, the deeper love they once had for each other or the complications of getting divorced.

But the questions above should help you know when it’s time to call it quits with your partner, whether you’re married or not.

If you’ve exhausted all possible options to improve your relationship and you still can’t get on with your partner, it’s best to go your separate ways.

You deserve a partner that doesn’t make you feel so awful, regardless of whether you’re married to them. The social stigma surrounding divorce is long gone, so there’s really little reason to stay married to the wrong person.

Related Content: How To Prepare For A Breakup – A Complete Guide  

3 Things To Remember Before You Call It Quits In Marriage

A quick disclaimer to remind you that divorce isn’t easy. 

  • There are financial consequences.
  • If you have children, you’ll need to make custody arrangements.
  • If you don’t agree on the terms of your divorce, you may have to go to court.

These facts shouldn’t stop you from splitting up with your spouse if you married the wrong person, although it might encourage you to fight harder to save a rocky marriage with your true love.

Most importantly, this should serve as a reminder not to rush into a marriage until you’re absolutely sure it’s the right person.  

Related Content: Unveiling The Grass Is Greener Syndrome Regret In A Relationship

Frequently Asked Questions About When To Call It Quits In A Relationship

Let’s round off this article with the answers to some frequently asked questions about when to call it quits in a relationship.

Sexless Marriage: When To Call It Quits?

If the lack of sex is deal-breaker for you, it needs to be discussed with your spouse and you need to reach a resolution. If all possible options have been exhausted and there’s still conflict here, calling it quits might be the best way forward.

When To Call It Quits In A Long-Distance Relationship 

Long-distance relationships present extra hurdles, but the signs you should call it quits are the same. Perhaps there are extra reasons to call it quits based on agreeing when to see each other next.

Related: Harsh Facts About Long Distance Relationships & Benefits

How Do You Know When A Relationship Is Really Over? 

If they’re the one that calls the relationship quits, there’s not much you can do. A successful relationship requires two people that want to be in it, after all. This list of signs that your ex will come back to you should help you work out if your relationship is truly over.  

You can also check out this guide on Can A Relationship Work After Several Breakups?

Any Questions?

Thanks for reading my guide. Hopefully, this professional advice has made you feel more aware of whether your relationship is worth saving or if it’s time to call it quits. 

If you have a question to ask or some stories to share about your ex-partners, feel free to leave a comment below. 

You don’t have to be a relationship expert to make your point. It would be great to talk further about this subject.

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About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.