11 Helpful Strategies – When He Pulls Away Do Nothing! (2024)

Are you a woman whose love interest has been distant? Are you wondering what to do when he pulls away? I’m here to tell you: when he pulls away, do nothing!

Below, we’ll explore the “do nothing” strategy and why it’s the best strategy for when men pull away. 

In my role as a life coach, I am often helping people find the best decisions to make in their romantic, personal and professional lives. 

That’s why I’m excited to share this guide with you. 

So, let’s dive in.

1. Should I Pull Away When He Pulls Away?


If you notice his interest in you has dropped significantly, there are no excuses. He doesn’t want you!

Fighting for his attention isn’t going to make him want you more. If anything, it could push him further away.

When He Pulls Away, Let Him Go

There are many things that can be difficult in romantic relationships, but him asking to spend time with you shouldn’t be one of them. You asking to see him and him agreeing shouldn’t be either. 

He might say he’s busy. We’re all busy! But we all make time for the people who are most important to us. 

If he can’t make time to see you or respond to your messages, he’s just not that into you.

How are you meant to get through the tough parts of relationships with a guy who shows such little interest during what is supposed to be the honeymoon period? 

Related: Why Do Guys Pull Away Before They Commit

2. How To Be High-Value When He Pulls Away

By definition, a high-value woman is desired by a lot of high-quality men.

So, how would a woman like this react when one particular man pulls away? Most likely, she wouldn’t give it a second thought, because she knows her worth and realizes another great opportunity will present itself soon enough. 

So, if you’re keen to respond like a high-value woman when he pulls away, do nothing! Don’t block him, don’t talk trash about him, don’t be reacting intensely in any way. Just continue focusing on yourself and building a high-value life.  

3. How Do You Take Your Power Back When He Pulls Away?

I’m not a big fan of focusing on who has the most power in a relationship. This is more likely to create a toxic relationship than an enjoyable one.

Would a strong woman focus on having more power than a man who didn’t want her? Or would she move on and focus on finding someone more suitable?

4. How Do You Act When A Guy Pulls Away?

How would you act if a distant cousin bailed on your birthday party? Sure, you might be disappointed for a moment or two. But, in an ideal world, the party would be so awesome and you’d be surrounded by so many great people that it wouldn’t affect your mood for too long.

In this metaphor, the birthday party is your life. If this guy is not in a serious relationship with you and he’s not showing interest in one, there should be no reason to get too upset. Your life should be so awesome and packed with good friends that it doesn’t matter.

In such a case, you wouldn’t be inspired to seek revenge, find out who he’s dating or to make a plan to win him back. 

So, if you are considering any of these actions, ask yourself why. Are you trying to fill another hole in your life with this new guy you barely know? Do you rely on male attention for your own self-worth? Are there bigger problems in your life you should focus on, other than his man pulling away?

When He Pulls Away Do Nothing
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How Do You Act When Your Boyfriend Is Pulling Away?

In this case, your best bet is to calmly ask why he seems more distant lately. If it has previously been a healthy and passionate relationship, he should be able to have an honest talk with you about it. This conversation could even make your relationship stronger.

However, if he avoids the question, the sad truth is: he might not have been as committed to this relationship as you thought. Either that or he’s an emotionally immature boy who can’t handle conversations about his own feelings. At this point, he’s now in the driver’s seat as far as whether this relationship continues. At least you’ll know where you stand. 

You can calmly ask this question to a man you’ve been casually dating too, if you prefer. This might be a nice alternative to immediately pulling away yourself. Once again, if he avoids the question, you can be sure that he’s not that into you.

Related: Push-Pull Relationship – How To Break The Cycle

5. Do Guys Come Back After Pulling Away?

Yes, they do. 

But it doesn’t mean they’re suddenly interested in a committed relationship.

Why Do Men Come Back After Pulling Away?

Here’s a list of what it usually means when a man comes back after seemingly having pulled away. 

He’s Looking For Some No-Strings Attached Sex

Then, most likely he’ll pull away again, especially if you hit him up trying to arrange a romantic date.

His Other Women Abandoned Him

When a man pulls away, it’s often because he’s dating many women and prioritising at least one woman over you. If his other love interests suddenly pull away from him, he might then decide to re-engage with you.

You Over-Reacted Too Quickly. He Never Lost Interest

It’s possible that you were too quick to presume he was pulling away, when he was genuinely just busy.

Men and women tend to make the mistake of panicking too early about unanswered texts, when they don’t have other exciting things going on in their lives.

Thankfully, if you adopted the ‘do nothing’ strategy, you won’t have done anything to ruin this guy’s impression of you.

If questioned, most guys will try to suggest that you over-reacted too quickly. It’s not easy to tell whether they’re being honest though. This list of signs he has caught feelings for you might help.

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder? 

It does in some situations, yes.

However, it’s rare that ignoring an uninterested man would suddenly make him realize all the value you have. A high-quality man isn’t going to suddenly want you back because you ignored his texts.

I’ve seen more than one relationship expert suggest that pulling away will make him want you more. That’s wrong, in my opinion. 

In most cases, he either lost interest in you, or he didn’t. This is why playing hard-to-get is mostly a waste of time when seeking a healthy relationship.

The only case where playing hard-to-get works is: if you were overwhelming him with attention before. This is common if you have an anxious attachment style and he has an avoidant one. The following guides will help you reel a man back in this situation.

6. How Do You Make Him Miss You When He Pulls Away?

Don’t focus on making him miss you. Focus on enjoying your life without him. By all means, work on yourself and become a more attractive partner for the next man.

This other guy might come back, he might not. Either way, doing your own thing is the best next step. 

7. He Pulled Away, But Still Contacts Me

If he ignores you for long periods, then contacts you periodically, he’s more than likely only interested in a casual hook-up. It’s best to ignore guys like this if you’re after a long-term relationship.

8. Develop Your Own Interests Outside Of Dating, Make Time For Friends,  Enjoy Your Life

I can’t reiterate this point enough. When you have a life you truly love, you won’t make the big mistake of worrying about men who pull away.

The women who fall into this trap tend to lack self-esteem, hobbies, passions and friends. Women with a strong sense of self-love and enjoyment of their own life rarely need to be told to stop chasing a man who withdraws from it.

Related: Emotionally Unavailable Man Keeps Coming Back

9. Is He A Bad Guy For Pulling Away?

Not necessarily. A man might have plenty of innocent reasons to pull away.

While it is still considered wrong by a lot of people, ‘ghosting’ has now become so common that good men and women go radio silent without thinking they should feel guilty.

Forgive him and move on. 

He might not be a bad guy for pulling away, but he’s the wrong guy for you.   

Related: Psychology Behind Cutting Someone Off: 15 Insights

10. If He Doesn’t Want You, He’s Not Your Type

It’s normal to get upset about a man pulling away – even if you’re a high-value woman with a great life – when your gut feeling told you he was your perfect match. A lot of high-value women have high standards during the dating process, so their ‘type’ is hard to find.

Here’s my message for these women: if a man doesn’t want you, he’s not your type. Surely, the number one thing you want in a loving relationship is a man who desires you. 

If a man doesn’t have that desire, he’s not the right man for you.  

So, stop worrying. It’s not a big deal. Soon enough, you’ll find a real relationship with a guy who feels the same way as you. 

11. When Should I Pull Away?

It’s too simplistic to say you should pull away when he does, no matter what.

Sometimes, you’ll feel the urge to fight for the relationship when you notice men pulling away in the early stages.

This isn’t such an awful thing to do, although it’s usually the wrong step if you want a committed relationship. 

In some cases, he’ll feel horny enough to sleep with you a few more times. Then, he’ll probably  pull away again later on. It takes more than great sex to make men fall in love with you. 

The worst-case scenario is that you continue to chase a man like this for months or years. That’s one of the biggest mistakes you can make in your dating life. It’ll only lead to endless suffering. 

Worse yet, it can consume you to the point you miss out on opportunities to start dating other guys who would actually want you. That should be your goal if you’re looking for a real relationship.  

Related: How To Give A Guy Space Without Losing Him

Any More Questions About What To Do When Men Pull Away?

Thanks for reading my guide. I hope it found its way to you at the exact time you needed it!

If you have any questions about the ‘Do Nothing’ strategy or what to do when a man withdraws, feel free to leave a comment below. 

It would be great to hear from you.

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About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.