22 Insights – When A Guy Says He Wants You Sexually (2024)

This can be confusing for you as a woman, depending on the way he’s talking, or acting, and how well you know him. You want to know his true intentions about you and your relationship.

Popular culture paints a picture about sex that doesn’t always match the reality of what happens behind closed bedroom doors. 

Read on for 22 insights for when a guy says he wants you sexually.

Let’s dive right into it.

When A Guy Says He Wants You Sexually
Photo by Michael Prewett on Unsplash

1. Next Level

The length of your relationship could be one of the signs to determine what he means. If you’ve reached a level where you can be comfortable being in a sexual relationship then maybe he’s trying to take it to the next level.

2. Compliments

Compliments make it obvious he finds you attractive. However, when the compliments are always about your body or body parts rather than your personality traits as well, these are signs you know it’s really just physical attraction.

Signs that this man is not interested in dating, he’s really just fueling his sexual hunger.

3. Have Sex Vs. Make Love

Focus on the words and how they make you feel. There is a difference between wanting to have sex or making love.

The first represents a physical act or a booty call. If he wants to make love he’s taking your relationship seriously to move to the next step and maybe even fall in love. 

4. No Strings 

Him telling you he wants you sexually indicates there’s an attraction, however, he’s looking for a no strings attached relationship. It’s just physical. Then, it is up to you to decide what you want to do.

Remember, no strings attached is not for every woman. A lot of people are unable to keep their emotions off the table with this arrangement.

Related: Clear Signs A Married Man Is Using You & How To Get Over It

5. Invitation To His Place

Guys who want to learn more about you as a person won’t immediately invite you straight to their place to have pleasure and make things really awkward for you.

On the contrary, they’ll focus on dating by inviting you out to movies, having you meet their friends, and making sure you feel comfortable around them before they start to plan one-on-one time with you.

Guys who respect you as well as themselves will do their best to gain your trust first and then gradually and naturally take things further.

6. Calls Only In The Evenings

When a guy wants to spend the night with you and calls you in the evenings to make plans for that night it’s a big sign that possibly he’s inviting you over for a booty call.

It’s up to you if you want to go and if not, say something that will tell him you’re not interested in that kind of relationship.

Conversely, that guy who’s only after pleasure could also invite himself straight to your place that night. 

7. Overly Sweet But Fails On Promises

Easily throw compliments from guys that are very good at talking and making promises, yet when it comes to acting upon them and proving their loyalties, they often fall short.

They try to win girls’ trust in the quickest way possible – by telling them things they want to hear.

Young, inexperienced girls often fall for such sly guys, however, mature, experienced women usually don’t.

8. Confirmation 

The guy wants you to want to have sex with him as confirmation of acceptance. This is more serious than before because he’s wanting the satisfaction of knowing you want him as much as he wants you. 

Simply put, men have a biological drive to feel needed, to feel appreciated, and to provide for the woman he cares about and physical contact feels like that confirmation for many guys.

9. Friendzone

He’s letting you know that he doesn’t want to be just a friend to you and is interested in you for the future.

When A Guy Says He Wants You
Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash

10. Object

He finds you to be an object of desire. Make sure you read that important word. Object. 

He will not put any more value on you passed getting a roll in the hay. Unless you’re looking for a one-nighter and not a serious partner as well, avoid this one.

11. Family And Friends

If you haven’t met any of his family or friends, it’s not a good sign.

If the guy is interested in you, he will show you off to his loved ones. He’ll want their opinion, which is why you meet family and friends.

But if he’s going out of his way to make sure you’re not meeting anyone he knows, it’s clear he’s not looking for a relationship with you.

12. He’s Seeing Other People

This should be one of the largest red flags. If the guy is indecisive, he could be seeing other people.

While dating around isn’t something to be ashamed of, it’s going to hurt you in the long run though if you want a more serious relationship and he doesn’t.

If you find out the guy is seeing other people, say something and take it as a sign that he’s not quite sure about what he’d like or he’s just using you for pleasure.

13. He Avoids The Talk

If you need to know whether he considers it a serious relationship and your guy is avoiding the conversation with you like the plague or doesn’t respond about defining your relationship, it’s a bad sign.

Maybe he doesn’t want to have that talk because he just doesn’t know himself well enough or he doesn’t want a deeper relationship.

The fact is that it’s natural for men and women to be on the wrong wavelength about the status of a relationship since men and women have different ways of communicating.

14. Afraid Of Commitment

There are multiple reasons a guy could shy away from commitment. Whatever it may be, although it’s obvious he likes being around you he may seem scared of starting a deeper relationship with you.

So, he’ll show he likes you through small things—like being all in when he’s around you. But then he pulls away or even says things that may hurt.

This indecisiveness can leave you confused and anxious about the relationship. This is where it’s up to you to start the conversation and tell him about your confusion.

15. Possessiveness

Don’t confuse love with possessiveness. Keeping you around is less about keeping you to himself and more about making sure other guys don’t get you.

While his possessiveness can seem to be a little flattering at first. Once you understand that he doesn’t really see you as a serious partner or your protector.

Rather, he sees you more as his property. You’ll see his idea of love is skewed.

16. Afraid Of Being Alone

Do you ever feel like you’re only there to fill his time?

Some people (and it’s not just specific to guys) use physical encounters to fill up the silences in-between work and waking up. Dating provides a temporary sense of purpose and fulfillment, which people mistake for actual contentment.

If it feels like your guy is only half-present when you’re together, it could be that he’s unconsciously using you as background noise.

He just doesn’t want to be alone.

17. Afraid Of Change

One of the simplest reasons why he wants to have physical intimacy even though he doesn’t want a relationship is because he’s afraid that things will change.

Your guy has gotten used to reaping the rewards of dating you and is likely worried that taking things to the next level is going to put more pressure on him.

Simply put, he’s not ready to go above and beyond and would rather keep on coasting with you.

18. Texts And Emails Are Explicit

You can tell so much if a guy is using you just for pleasure by the content of his communication. 

Clear Signs He’s A Player who only wants intercourse is when he uses texts and emails as opportunities to turn the discussion into sexual conversation. Questions like, “What are you wearing right now?” or “Wouldn’t it be hot to do it right there among the strawberries?”

By contrast, a man who’d like to get to know you will ask how you feel. How’s your work project coming along?

They’ll ask about the big account you’re trying to close or how your annual review went with your boss, etc.

19. Pizza At Your Place

If he chooses to spend time getting to know you, he’ll be happy to be out in public, doing things with you, whether it’s going to a gallery opening or a chic new restaurant for a romantic dinner.

When a guy only wants you for pleasure, he won’t invest time or money in developing a relationship with you on a real date.

He’ll look for what’s convenient and the easiest way to gratify his needs. Be wary of the guy whose idea of getting together is, “I’ll just pick up a pizza…”

20. Anger Flairs

When a guy chooses to just be with you because he loves your company- he just likes to be near you. 

He’s happy you hung out together and satisfied just being in your company. He’s fine that you haven’t been intimate with him so far and is content to share a hug and a passionate kiss.

But when you tell a guy who only wants pleasure, “Thanks for coming over tonight but I have to wake up and drive to the airport for a very early flight,” – he may still pressure you to have a quick encounter.

If you aren’t receptive, he may become extremely angry at not getting his way.

21. Foreplay Is Over Quickly

When a guy is truly interested in you, respects you, and sees you as a prospect for a long-term relationship, he begins to have intimate feelings for you.

He moves from having pleasure with you to wanting to make love to you.

Foreplay can last a long time because it’s so enjoyable to hug, kiss and touch everywhere. The joy is in the journey – not the destination of an orgasm.

The guy who only wants you for pleasure doesn’t need much kissing or touching. His body is ready for it quickly and he’s not thinking about your satisfaction only his gratification.

22. Simply Doesn’t Want A Relationship

No games, no mystery. It might be that all this romance is just in your head.

Maybe he’s set his cards on the table being he just wants to have pleasure with you and you choose to ignore it.

At the end of the day, you can’t force a guy to be in a deeper relationship he clearly isn’t ready for.

He Wants You Sexually
Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash

What Does It Mean When A Guys Says He Wants You Sexually?

Popular culture emphasizes the strength of libido, the importance of physical attractiveness, and the desire to chase. Some people buy into that as being what intimacy is all about.

A guy who says he wants you sexually is:

  • Impatient with himself
  • Driven
  • Self-centered and demanding
  • Unaware and uncaring of your wants and needs
  • Probably not relationship material

However, emotionally ready, patient, and courteous guys don’t rush straight to the highest form of intimacy and have sex with the person they barely know.

They prefer to take their time to get to know the person they’re talking to and compliment her with non-sexual comments instead. That’s the way relationships can grow naturally. They’ll come up with the Most Creative Ways To Initiate Love-Making.

Things like, “I like your smile,” or “I love how nice you are to everyone you talk to.”

There are guys out there who shower girls with sweet words on purpose to get her to trust them quicker, but you can generally sense the lack of integrity in their words.

When a guy says he wants you sexually, he’ll stop buttering up his prey and disappear once he realizes he can’t get what he wants quickly enough.

That’s because most sexually-driven guys lose their patience, give up on taking their time to get to know the girl they want sex from, and cut straight to the chase.

A guy ruled by sexual urges isn’t interested in courtship or dating and the way he can contribute positively to your life.

So a man who wants you sexually, yet you don’t trust him enough, nor feel enough love for him yet—it’d be very wise of you to take a few steps back and think about his intentions.

What Does “I Want You” Mean Sexually?

One of the most confusing things for a woman to understand is what a guy really means when he says “I want you.”

Because, it’s not easy for men to share their feelings with you, his words might not really be coming across the way he means them.

The fact is, the limbic system (emotional processor) is much larger in the female brain than the male. So it’s understandable for men and women to be on different wavelengths about the status of their relationship.

That’s why women are more in touch with their emotions and why guys can struggle to process and understand their feelings. The result can be confusion about your relationship.

You could interpret it as being without any strings attached. Although, maybe he means it as a compliment to your good looks.

However, when there is a sexual relationship expected from these words then you have decisions to make. 

Related: 65 Signs He Wants You Badly Sexually & How To React

Here are some signs to start:

  • The number one thing a guy means by “I want you” is that he wants to have pleasure with you. If he was actually into you long-term, he would say “I need you” instead. Pay attention to the time frames that you hear from him as well. If it’s only at night, or on weekdays, then he just wants pleasure. If it’s frequently, and on the weekends too, then he wants more.
  • He wants you to want to have sex with him. This is different than before, because he is wanting the satisfaction of knowing that you want him.
  • He actually likes you and would like to date you but doesn’t know how to say it. If he laughs at your jokes, talks about personal stuff like his family, and makes a lot of eye contact, but seems interested in more than just a one-night stand, then you’ll know.
  • He wants you on his fantasy football team, or some other activity. Not everything is sexual, so make sure you know who you are talking to and pay attention to the way he says it.
  • He wants you to be his girlfriend, but he definitely wants sex too, not just a date. This relationship has strings attached. He doesn’t want the three-date rule in place, he wants to go out and then have sex only to repeat it every time you go out.
  • He’s letting you know that he doesn’t want you to put him in the friendzone and is interested in you for the future.
  • He literally just wants you around him in whatever form that takes.
  • He wants you in every way, sexually, mentally, and emotionally. This generally is said differently than “I want you” but some men like to just keep things simple.
  • He wants your support. He is asking you to stand by him.
  • He wants you to understand that he wants sex and absolutely nothing else. Do not expect follow up calls unless he really enjoyed it and you’re the new booty call which will not change so don’t get roped into having feelings for him.
  • He finds you very attractive. Simple as that. Of course, he hopes putting that out there will lead to other things, but he’s just saying for right now, that you’re hot!
  • He wants to be the guy you think of when you’re thinking about a guy.
  • He wants you to hang around, but he doesn’t want any kind of relationship right then. He just wants a backup plan in case his current girl drops him.

How Do You Tell If A Guy Likes You More Than Sexually?

Some people don’t even think about what will happen after the hookup, and they don’t ask themselves “is it more than sex?”

That’s why you need to search for Subtle Signs He Likes You MORE Than A Friend if you want to know what he truly wants from you.

If he does any of the following things, you really needn’t worry about his intentions.

1. He Shows You Off On Social Media

A man who’s proud he can spend time with you will never hide you from other people. He doesn’t have to boast about your dates on social media, but if he tags you in his stories on Instagram, for example, that’s a very good sign.

2. He’s Interested In Your Daily Life

Casual physical relationships don’t involve conversations about regular daily things. Why would he be interested in your daily life if the only thing he wants from you is sex? 

If he asks about you and your life, that means that he is interested in your personality as well. Always respond to these kinds of questions.

3. He Tells You About His Goals And Dreams

Men talk about their goals with people they trust. If he tells you about his hopes and dreams, consider yourself privileged.

That means he respects you and values your opinion. Maybe he even sees you as a suitable partner. Show your interest and ask him more questions.

4. He Compliments Your Personality

Any man can tell you how good your body looks. It’s visible to everyone, but if he pays attention to your personality and even compliments it, you are very lucky. 

Almost no man would use a smart and interesting girl for sex. Trust me, if he wanted only sex, he wouldn’t even pay attention to your personality. 

5. He Doesn’t Ignore Your Texts Or Calls

If he never keeps you waiting for a response, that’s great! We are all busy, and he manages to make time to answer all of your messages.

Even if it takes him a bit longer to reply, the most important thing is that he responds. That means he wants to hear from you. It’s not just sexual.

6. He Stays Over To Cuddle All Night

If he does this, never ask yourself questions like “does he want more than sex?” again. 

Men are not as sentimental as women, but when they are cuddly and cute in front of you, you can tell he thinks you two are really close. What’s more important, he likes your company.

7. He’d Like You To Meet His Family

You’ve met his friends? Good. You’ve met his family members? Even better! 

Guys usually don’t have much respect towards women who only sleep with them. If you meet his relatives, be really happy if he doesn’t introduce you as a friend of his.

8. He Shows No Interest In Other Girls

You know he’s been approached by other girls but he legitimately shows no attraction to them.

He doesn’t want to hook up with them, he doesn’t want to talk to them, and he wants nothing to do with them because you’re the one he wants and has fun with.

Here’s the point – you deserve better. So much better.

You deserve someone who will love you, want to know you, and who is willing to put in the effort.

When it’s time that you need to know, have a talk with the man you’re seeing. If he steps up and chooses to begin a relationship that’s deeper than just sexual, then you have your answer.

If he avoids the point of defining the relationship or beats around the bush, possibly it’s time to cut ties.

As much as that might suck, it will make you happier. You don’t need a relationship to feel good about yourself, and a man that’s half-in is only going to make you feel worse.

I sincerely hope all the signs and insights in this article have helped you figure out what it means when a guy says he wants you sexually.

If you think this could be of value ✅  to someone else you know, please share this article with them and post to your social media.

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About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.