When someone asks “what are you looking for in a relationship”, it can be so difficult to answer what seems like such a harmless question.
Perhaps you feel a lot of pressure, as if your answer could make or break your chances with the person asking it. Maybe you’ve never actually stopped to consider what you’re looking for in a relationship.
Either way, this guide should help. It lists over 100 great answers to this question and offers some valuable advice to help you choose the best answer for your needs.
In my role as a life coach, I am often helping clients better understand themselves and those closest to them.
That’s why I’m excited to share this guide with you.
So, let’s dive in.
What Are You Looking For In A Good Relationship?
To best answer the question of what you’re looking for in a relationship, it will help if you actually knew what you wanted.
It’s highly recommended to write down a list of 5-10 qualities that you’re looking for in a potential partner.
This will make it easier to choose your perfect partner, as well as making it simpler to tell other people what you’re looking for.
What To Look For In A Partner (List)
It’s not for me to tell you what type of person is the right person for you, but here are some ideas for what other people tend to look for when weighing up potential partners, just to stir your brain into action.
- Physical attraction.
- A good sense of humor.
- A strong emotional connection.
- Emotional maturity.
- A good listener.
- You enjoy doing the same things.
- Mutual respect.
- The same values in life.
To create your list, consider what you valued in your past relationships and what these taught you about who is the wrong person for you. This should help you realize what makes a successful relationship in your eyes. Not everyone should make the cut!
If you haven’t had many relationships, perhaps you can consider what you admire about the romantic relationships you’ve seen among your friends and family. A relationship coach should be able to help you create this list too.
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How Do You Answer What Are You Looking For In A Relationship Question?
Here are 100+ examples of answers you can give when someone asks what you’re looking for in a relationship.
- I just want someone to help me relax after a stressful day at work.
- I’m looking for someone to help me grow and become my best self.
- I need someone who’s on the same page as me. Someone who has the same value system.
- I just want someone who’s looking to live a happier life with me in it.
- I want to be with someone who sees me as an equal partner and values my opinions just as much as they value their own.
- I need someone who understands I have my own needs. A selfish partner doesn’t do a thing for me.
- I need a loyal partner ready for a relationship where we give mutual support to each other.
- I want a partner who respects my need for alone time but will be there when I need them.
- I would love a thoughtful partner who always knows how to make me feel loved.
- I need a partner who respects every part of me and loves me for who I am.
- The right person for me is spontaneous, romantic and adventurous.
- I need a fun-loving partner looking to make each day count.
- I need a supportive and caring partner ready to start a family.
- I need a lover ready to spoil me and be spoiled with love and affection.
- I need a special person ready to treat me well and make me feel loved.
- I am looking for a willing team-mate ready to take risks and jump any hurdle that comes our way.
- I need a partner who is as active as me and enjoys spending time in the great outdoors.
- My ideal relationship would be one where we’re always finding new ways to show we love each other.
- I’m looking for someone who is ready and willing to share their life with me.
- I need a trustworthy, honest and reliable partner. These are the most important qualities in a potential relationship.
- I need a partner who I can trust and feel comfortable talking to about anything.
- I’m searching for my soulmate; someone who will accept me without conditions.
- My perfect partner is open-minded and always willing to try new things.
- I definitely want a partner who makes me laugh and can brighten up any day.
- I’m searching for a partner who shares my core values and believes in living life to the fullest.
- For sure, I need a partner who is enthusiastic about the future and is excited about where our relationship is headed.
- I need a partner who is independent, but also grateful for everything I can bring to a relationship.
- My ideal partner will encourage me to pursue my goals, and be ready to celebrate my successes.
- My partner must be kind, caring, and considerate. This is a solid foundation for any healthy relationship.
- I’d love a partner who is always happy to listen and offer words of wisdom, just like I would do for them.
- My ideal partner would love me for who I am, rather than always trying to change me.
- I get bored easily, so I need an adventurous partner who always keeps me on my toes.
- It’s great if my partner has similar interests with me, but I want to explore new things with them as well.
- Most importantly, I want a partner who loves spending time with me and makes me feel appreciated.
- My partner should be fun and easy to be around.
- I need someone who celebrates my strengths and is patient with my weaknesses.
- I want a special person who is sensitive and caring, yet brave and strong.
- The best relationships are built on mutual respect. That’s what I’m looking for more than anything.
- I need the type of person who will push me to be better and who I’m excited to make happy every day.
- I need a partner who is willing to compromise, so we can work to make each other’s lives better.
- I’m looking for someone who pushes me intellectually so we can have interesting conversations every day.
- I need someone in my dating life who is family-oriented and treasures time with loved ones.
- I’m looking for someone ready to show their love every day, in big and small ways.
- I need a relationship where we can always be ourselves around each other. That trust and vulnerability is the most important thing.
- I need a reliable partner who will always be there for me, in good times and bad.
- I want a partner who pushes me to be the best version of myself.
- I’m looking for a partner who can give me personal space, but also knows how to show affection when I need it.
- An honest and open partner is the most important thing to me. Without honesty, any relationship will eventually fall apart.
- I am looking for a person to challenge me and push me out of my comfort zone. A relationship is about growing stronger together!
- I need someone ready to support my goals and keep up with my ambition.
- Family is the most important thing in my life, so I’ll need someone who feels the same way.
- I need a lover who is spontaneous and loves to try new things.
- I need someone who is independent and comfortable in their own skin. I need a strong partner, not an insecure child.
- I need a partner who is as passionate and excited about life as I am.
- I’m a spontaneous and adventurous person, so I need a partner who loves to try new things.
- I want someone who accepts all my quirks and loves me for who I am.
- It’s important to spend time together, but I also need a partner who has their own life outside of our relationship.
- I need someone with whom I can share all my secrets, thoughts, and feelings with. Someone who won’t judge me for who I am.
- I need a partner with a good sense of humor. Life is too short for an overly serious relationship.
- I need a lover who I can trust as much as a best friend.
- I want a secure partner who doesn’t need me to ‘complete’ them.
- I am looking for someone to build a future with. That means they need to be reliable and have their own life together.
- I need someone I can rely on, whether that’s for an awesome evening out or a shoulder to cry on.
- I want a partner to laugh with, cry with, relax with and go wild with!
- My perfect match will be reliable, supportive and loving. These are non-negotiables!
- I want someone who enjoys life, no matter how serious things get. A partner should always be able to make you smile.
- My ‘type’ doesn’t take things too seriously. I need someone I can always have a laugh with!
- I need a travel buddy! Travel is my passion and it needs to be my partner’s too!
- I’m an adrenaline junkie, so I need a partner who isn’t afraid to leave their comfort zone.
- I want a romantic partner who makes me laugh, whether we’re relaxing at home or going out on an adventure.
- I am looking for someone to share my life with, and who wants to build a future together with me.
- I am looking for someone who accepts the real me and doesn’t judge me for my flaws.
- I need a partner with confidence and ambition. I want to be in a power couple!
- Honestly, I just need someone who doesn’t make me feel like a bad person for living life the way I want.
- My dream partner is 100% supportive and always has my back, no matter what happens.
- Give me someone who is honest and trustworthy, and I’ll be forever grateful.
- I’m looking for a life partner who gives me those new relationship butterflies for the whole time we’re together.
- I need someone who is just as fun and reliable as my best friend.
- I need a person who isn’t afraid to share their own emotions and is ready to accept mine.
- I’m just looking for the same amount of love in their heart as I have.
- I’m looking for a partner to be lovers and best friends with.
- All I want is someone to make me laugh, and maybe someone who genuinely laughs at my stupid jokes.
- I’m looking for my perfect person. I’ll know it when I find them.
- I need someone who is willing to share everything and be a good listener.
- I want someone who I’m excited to spend time with every day.
- I want someone who is ready to put their best foot forward with me every day.
- I need a partner who makes me feel secure in my own skin.
- Physical affection is important to me. I need a touchy-feely lover with a high sex drive.
- I need a great relationship where we have a mutual understanding of what’s important in life.
- I’m looking for someone who is kind and accepts me for all my strengths and weaknesses.
- I’m a movie-buff, so I need someone who doesn’t mind the occasional Netflix and Chill session.
- My partner has to be a dog-lover, since I have three of them and one’s just given birth.
- I need a partner that shares my faith. A relationship won’t work unless that’s the case.
- Honestly, I treasure my alone time more than anything. I need a partner who cares, but isn’t too clingy.
- I’m a bit shy, so I’d love a partner who can push me out of my comfort zone.
- Sports are my passion. I need a partner who can play golf and loves to watch football.
- I’m a foodie at heart. If my partner can cook and loves to eat, I’m sure we’ll get along great!
- I need a partner with a good listening ear and a great eye for adventure!
- I need a partner who sees all my amazing strengths and forgives me for my weaknesses.
- All I need is someone with a great sense of humor who loves spending time with me. Anything else is a bonus.
- I’m looking for someone who sees me the same way I see my perfect self 😉
Frequently Asked Questions
Let’s round off this guide with the answers to some frequently asked questions about telling someone what you’re looking for in a relationship.
How Do You Say You’re Looking For A Relationship?
This is a question a person would only ask if they’re insecure about wanting a serious relationship, or scared that the other person isn’t looking for the same thing.
There’s nothing wrong about telling someone you’re looking for a committed relationship – and you don’t have to think up some clever way to say it.
Just say it.
What To Say When A Guy Asks What Are You Looking For?
A big mistake that women make is trying to predict what the man is looking for, then telling him that’s what she wants too. Women might do this to try and initially catch a man’s attention, but it’s no good for either of you in the long run.
Your best bet is to give an honest answer about what you’re looking for, using as much or as little detail as you’re comfortable with. The list in the main article above should help you.
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When A Girl Asks What Are You Looking For In A Relationship
A common ‘trick’ that players use is to lie about wanting a long-term relationship, when they’re actually only looking for something casual.
This is a scummy thing to do – and only usually serves to make women hate you after your fling ends.
If you cared at all about hurting people’s feelings, you’d be honest from the start about your intentions, whether you’re looking for a loving relationship or casual dating.
A woman will have no reason to hate you if you’re honest from the start – and maybe she’s only looking for something casual too. If you don’t want something serious, be honest about that and find someone with similar intentions, then you don’t have to worry about hiding anything.
If you are looking for a committed romantic relationship, use the list above to describe what your perfect relationship would look like.
How To Answer “What Are You Looking For” On A Dating Site
Some people like to be vague (or even lie) about what they’re looking for when chatting on online dating sites, if only to broaden their chances of finding someone to meet.
However, this will only waste your time or hurt someone’s feelings in the long run if you end up meeting with someone who has different intentions to you.
Be honest about what you’re looking for, whether you’re using a dating app or meeting people in real life. The list above should give you inspiration as far as how to word it.
In many cases, it’s easier to find the right person for you in real life instead of online dating. In the real world, you’ll get an accurate first impression of people, which is much harder to get from someone’s dating profile.
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Any More Questions?
Thanks for reading my guide on how to explain what you’re looking for in a relationship.
There’s no ‘right’ answer to this question. It depends on the particular type of relationships you’re looking for.
Still, I hope this has helped you consider your relationship goals and what type of person will help you fulfil them.
If you have any questions on this topic or some sound advice to offer other readers, feel free to leave a comment below.
It would be great to hear from you.