Tired Of Begging For Attention – 11 Change Strategies (2024)

Are you tired of begging for attention from your partner? This guide features 11 strategies to turn things around.

In my role as a life coach, I am often helping clients improve their relationships. That’s why I’m pleased to present these strategies to you.  

So, let’s dive in.  

Begging For Attention
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Begging For Attention Meaning

The phrase ‘begging for attention’ is hyperbole.

It could apply to anyone so starved of attention that their desire to be noticed by a loved one has escalated into desperation. 

Signs You Are Begging For Love

You don’t have to literally beg for attention for the tips in this guide to apply to you.

It could be that a lack of attention from a loved one makes you feel:

  • worse about yourself;
  • upset;
  • unloved;
  • angry;
  • scared for the future;
  • less confident; 
  • less worthy of affection;  

In such situations, you’re well within your rights to feel like begging for attention. 

Of course, it’s entirely possible you’ve already been asking for more attention, and now you’re tired of having to beg for it. 

How To Stop Begging For Attention In A Relationship

If you’re tired of having to beg for attention in your relationships, the simplest thing to do is to leave.

It’s important to have personal boundaries for how your man or woman treats you, and to walk away if someone continuously breaks them.

With that said, you may be the type of person who wants to try and fix your relationships before abandoning them.

These 11 tips are for men and women who are tired of begging for attention in their relationship, which will hopefully help to improve the situation. 

1. Go First

Are you in a marriage or relationship which used to be incredibly fulfilling and full of passion, only for the affection to seemingly disappear?

If so, it’s possible you’re in a ‘punishment cycle’, where one partner doesn’t feel like they’re receiving enough affection, so they stop giving it.

To get out of this cycle, one partner has to be brave enough to break it.

Can you be the one who goes above and beyond to lavish more attention on your partner, even if they don’t currently bother to do the same? 

In many cases, the partner will notice this change in your behavior and naturally feel obliged to reciprocate.  

2. Ask For Feedback

Ask For Feedback
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When you ask your partner how you could serve them better, it can often help you realize why you’re being made to beg for attention.

He’ll either explain what’s upsetting him, or he’ll let you know that everything is fine at his end. 

Either way, this could lead into a conversation about what you need from the relationship. 

You could say: “If I did that for you, would you feel more inspired to do this for me?”

All healthy relationships need compromise, after all. 

In this conversation, try to avoid blaming your partner and what they don’t do. Remember, you’re both on the same team. Work together to realize what both of you need and why you need it. 

For further guidance, check out this related content on Strategies If You Are Lacking Attention To Detail.

3. Look For External Reasons Why You’re Not Getting The Affection You Want

When problems crop up in our relationships with another person, it’s all too common to just focus on ourselves. We perceive ourselves as the problem. We’re constantly wondering: what’s wrong with me, what did I do wrong?

But the truth is: not everything is about us. Often, the problem lies with the other person. 

It’s important to realize that sometimes we end up with an unaffectionate husband, wife or partner because of something completely outside our control. 

So, take a deeper look at your partner’s life. Could their mind be troubled? Might a specific task be making them too tired to spread the love you require? 

Yes, you could ask them if they’re dealing with anything rough right now, but they might not always be honest.

Guys, in particular, find it difficult to open up about their feelings. He might be hiding his struggles, so as not to burden your life with them.

Still if you do manage to fill in the gaps and realize what’s troubling your partner, hopefully you’ll be able to make his life a bit easier.

Then, as things get less stressful, he’ll be able to give you the attention you deserve.

4. Have Empathy For Your Partner

It’s extremely common for one person to begin taking their partner for granted in a marriage or long-term partnership.

So, try and have empathy for your partner if this happens to you. 

Discuss ‘lack of attention’ as a problem that ruins relationships, which both of you have to watch out for.

See it as something that’ll inevitably happen, unless you both fight against it. 

This attitude should help you develop more empathy for your partner, because you understand it’s a common problem they’re struggling with.

They’re also more likely to take your feedback on board when they don’t feel like they’re being attacked.

5. Create Quality Time Just For Each Other

A husband and wife often start to take each other for granted when ‘life gets in the way’. 

Our careers and families can be huge burdens that can leave us too tired to give our partner the affection they need.

Indeed, an important job and young kids will need a lot of our attention, or they’ll end up causing even more stress.     

But a relationship needs attention to thrive too, so it’s important for you to dedicate space in your diaries to spend quality time together.  

Perhaps, you need to plan a romantic trip away to try and put the spark back into your relationship.

A lot of couples schedule a weekly ‘date night’ and that’s a great start to make both of you feel more treasured. In fact, it could well save your relationship. 

6. Take An Interest In Your Partner’s Hobbies

This could be another way to ensure you’re spending time together, away from the stresses of work and kids. 

If your husband loves to play golf, perhaps you could learn to play too. If the woman in your life loves to go to the gym, maybe you can go together.

At the very least, try and take interest in what they’re doing. 

When you have a mutual interest, you’ll usually have more to talk about. This is a key reason why some of the most successful relationships are born out of a friendship. Perhaps your partner will feel more inspired to discuss what they’ve been up to. Maybe they’ll be excited about listening to you if you’re talking about topics they’re actually interested in.

7. Avoid Upsetting Your Partner Just To Get Their Attention

This is a common strategy among partners who are tired of having to beg for attention. They become desperate to the point that they try to hurt their partner, in an effort to be noticed.

This idea might feel comforting in a bittersweet way, because at least you’re getting attention. But, in reality, it’s a toxic act that will often fuel a punishment cycle.  

8. Curb Your Jealousy

If you’re tired of having to beg for attention from a partner, there’s a high chance of you becoming jealous of whatever – or whoever – does get their attention.

But please realize there’s nothing to be gained by your acting out of jealousy. This is another toxic act that does nothing to improve your relationship

As much as you may want to shout at your partner or get angry, doing so is likely to drive them further away. 

Sure, there are some cases where you’ll have every right to be jealous, such as if someone else is getting more romantic affection than you. In this case, it’s important to stand up for yourself. For more guidance, check out this guide on how to stop your partner from cheating

9. Better Yourself

Another toxic method to try and gain your partner’s attention is to try and make them jealous. Once again, this is absolutely going to do nothing good for your marriage or relationship in the long run. So, please avoid the temptation to flirt with your spouse’s best friend. This is no way to deal with your lack of attention. 

However, there is a more subtle and healthy way to make your partner fear losing you – and that is to focus on self-improvement. 

If you begin improving your body at the gym, dressing better and making more friends, your partner is probably going to notice.

What’s more, in many cases, they’ll be more inspired to spend more time with you.

This is either because they’ll become naturally more attracted to you – or because they’re feeling in danger of losing you to someone better.  

Either way, you’ll get what you want without having to hurt your partner’s feelings. Plus, you get all the other benefits of looking and feeling better.

10. Evaluate And Work On Your Self-Esteem

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When begging your partner for attention, it’s common that your partner may suggest that they give you plenty of it. They may even call you insecure for wanting so much more.

This could just be their way of avoiding the problem when they are clearly to blame, or it might be a case of differing expectations in your relationship. 

However, it’s worth doing a self-evaluation to see if they do have a point. 

A codependent relationship is when you need the constant approval from your partner to feel good about yourself.

If you suffer from this, you’re bound to be tired of begging them for attention, because no amount is ever seemingly enough.

Codependency usually stems from low self-esteem. If you can work on boosting yours – and begin to lead a life you enjoy regardless of your partner – you may soon realize you don’t need as much attention as you once thought.  

11. Walk Away

You’ve been given plenty of effective ideas for how to react if you’re tired of having to beg for attention from a partner.

However, if you’re still not getting the affection you desire, you should absolutely have the courage to walk away. 

You deserve to be with a person who is excited to make you part of their world, fill your life with joy and spread the affection you need.  

If you’ve tried a number of these ideas and still nothing has changed, it’s time to save yourself the frustration and look for love elsewhere.

At this point, that’s the only way to stop feeling tired of begging for attention from this person.

Love isn’t just a feeling, it’s something you show to another person. At this point, it’s clear your partner doesn’t want to bother with the effort of doing that. 

It’s tough to walk away from a relationship – and even more so a marriage with children. But, the truth is: no person should have to bear the burden of feeling tired of begging for attention from their true love. 

Maybe the decision to walk away will finally wake up your partner. It’s up to you if you’re willing to take them back in the hope that they change. But please don’t let your expectations drop to the point that you accept a relationship where you’re shown no affection. 

You shouldn’t have to stand for this and you don’t need a person like that in your life.

Frequently Asked Questions About Begging For Attention

Here are some quick answers to frequently answered questions on this topic.

Tired Of Begging For Attention From Husband

It’s common to feel this way about your husband. Attention levels in a marriage can drop because we think our spouse will always be there no matter what.

Men can fall into the trap of taking their wife for granted, especially when other stresses take up their time, but remember it’s rarely due to falling out of love.

Use the tips above to snap your husband out of this funk and start enjoying a marriage full of renewed love and affection. 

Tired Of Begging For Attention From Wife

Perhaps it’s not as stereotypical for a husband to be sick of begging for attention from his wife, but it does happen.

The stresses of the triple shift can take its toll, and sometimes men are expected to simply accept that.

Hopefully, the tips in this guide can help you build a stronger, more affectionate marriage.

Tired Of Begging For Attention From Girlfriend

If you’re in the early stages of a partnership and they’re not giving you enough attention, that might be a sign that they’re not right for you.

However, if you two have been madly in love only for things to deteriorate, these tips could help you build your relationship back to its peak. 

Never Bag A Man For Attention

This is common advice dished out to women. The main message behind it is that women should know their value and understand that the right man will fight to be with her. 

That’s good advice. However, as we’ve explored, it’s common for couples to begin to take each other for granted once they’ve been together for a while. 

The alternatives to ‘begging for attention’ listed in this guide could be better for a woman than throwing away a good man whose affection levels have been slipping for a short while only.   

Begging For Attention In A Relationship

In an ideal world, no-one would have to beg for attention in a relationship. However, we’re all only human and we let our standards slip from time to time.

The tips in this guide can help you pull your partner back into line without causing unnecessary stress or conflict. 

Any More Questions About Being Tired Of Begging For Attention?

Thanks for reading my guide on being tired of begging for attention. I hope you were able to receive some useful ideas to fix your marriage or relationship. 

These strategies should be effective if you’re tired of not receiving enough attention from a friend too.

If you’d like to ask an honest question or share a story related to the topic, please leave a comment in the form below.

I wish you all the happiness in the world – and it will be great to hear from you guys!

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About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.