23 Signs Your Friend Doesn’t Care About You (2024)

A true friend is someone who will lift you up when you’re feeling down and hold your hand when you’re going through a tough time. A good friend will want what’s best for you. They’ll always be there for you through good times and bad times. 

But true friendships are rare these days. So it’s important you learn to see the difference between a real friend and a fair-weather friend. 

In this article, we’re going to talk about the most obvious signs your friend doesn’t care about you anymore. Whether that’s a new friend or a childhood friend, you should be completely certain they have your back.

Let’s dive in.

How Do You Know a Friend Doesn’t Care About You?

There are many ways to tell real friends from fake friends. Here are the 23 signs your friend doesn’t care about you.

1. You’re never their first priority

Your best friend should be there for you, and vice versa. But if your so-called friend keeps on putting everybody else over you, that’s a sign something is off. 

You maybe feel they never have time for you anymore, but then they somehow always find time for other people. You deserve better than this. You might be dealing with a bad friend here, so it’s time to talk about it with them.

2. They never listen to you

When they talk, you listen. But when it’s the other way around, and you want to share your problems, they shut down. Suddenly, you see them wandering off and tuning out of the conversation. If this happens over and over again when you’re together, that’s some fake friend stuff right there. 

3. They only call you when they need you

Another sign your friend doesn’t care about you is when they only call you when they need you. But when it’s the other way around, they’re MIA. This can seriously affect your mental health and make you wonder if you’re doing something wrong. Talk to your friend about it as soon as possible.

4. They’re never around when you need them

Whether you’re in trouble or need their help, a true friend will be there for you. They might not always have the time to be your friend, but that’s not the same as being completely absent from your life.

If you feel like your friend is never around when you need them, there’s probably a good reason you feel this way. Try to remember the last time they helped you out with something. Can’t even remember? That’s a clear sign you have a toxic friendship.

5. Your secrets are not safe with them

Signs Your Friend Doesn't Care About You
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We always share our deepest secrets with our best friends because we trust them to keep them safe. But when that stops being true, you can’t help but ask yourself, ‘Are they really my friend?’

That’s a good question. Only a toxic friend would reveal your secrets to other people, so you don’t need them in your life anymore.

6. They gaslight you

When you tell them how you feel, they start gaslighting you and tell you you’ve misunderstood everything. You tell them, ‘What you did hurt me’ and they respond, ‘All my friends are okay with my behavior; you’re the only one who doesn’t like it’. 

But you know how you feel. And you feel they’re not your true friend anymore. Don’t let them manipulate you and impose their opinions on you.

You shouldn’t be friends with someone you don’t trust or who keeps on hurting you. Toxic friends are not good for your mental health, so it’s time to say goodbye.

7. They gossip about you behind your back

Another way to identify a disrespectful friend is when you catch them gossiping about you behind your back. That’s a deal breaker! Your true friend should have your back and not tell other friends lies about you.

8. They avoid you

You call them, but they don’t pick up the phone. You invite them over, but they always have other plans. Whatever you do to try to spend some good quality friend time, they keep on finding excuses. That’s one of the potential signs your friend doesn’t care about you.

9. They are jealous of you

Jealousy is a complex human emotion. If your best friend shows some signs of jealousy, that doesn’t have to mean the end of the friendship. But if it becomes a regular thing and they never deal with this toxic emotion, then it’s time to talk to them about it.

There’s no place for jealousy in a true friendship. They need to do some self-reflection if they want to continue being good friends with you.

10. They always cancel on you last minute

When you make plans together, they always cancel on you last minute. You feel they don’t respect you enough to find time for you. They don’t even respect your time. That’s a huge red flag. Talk to them about how it makes you feel and how it affects your mental health. 

Related post: 26 Definite Signs Your Friend Doesn’t Respect You

11. They purposely leave you out of their plans

When they organize hangouts, they leave you out of them. They even stopped inviting you to their birthday celebrations. That’s a clear sign they don’t care about you anymore. I

t’s up to you to decide what you’re going to do about it. You can talk to them about it or just move on with your life. Put your well-being and mental health first.

12. They are rude to you

If they’re constantly rude to you, that’s a one-sided friendship. That’s definitely not a good sign. You should have emotional safety when you’re with your best friends. You shouldn’t feel all those negative emotions, especially not because of them.

13. They don’t understand you

People grow apart. That’s just how life is. But growing apart is never fun for anyone, especially if you were close friends. One of the biggest signs you and your friend are drifting away is when they don’t understand you anymore.

Not just that, but you feel like they don’t even care enough to try to understand you. Don’t force it. Sometimes it’s better to leave some relationships where they belong – in the past.

14. They don’t know the real you

True friends know the real you. You don’t have to pretend around them because they understand you. But if you feel like your friend doesn’t know what you’re all about, that’s one of the signs your friendship is fading away, and they care less and less about you. 

15. They don’t accept you for who you are

Acceptance is equally important in friendships as it is in romantic relationships. When you accept your friend, you choose to love them for who they are.

But when there’s no mutual acceptance, that could be a one-sided friendship. It can hurt your self-esteem and affect your mental health, so it’s better to find new friends who will love you just the way you are.

16. They are using you

Helping a friend in need is one thing. But taking advantage of them is another story. If your friend uses you to get what they want, that’s one of the clear signs they don’t care about you.

They might be going through a tough time in their life, so talk to them about it. But if that’s just how they are as a person, you might be better off. 

17. They don’t care about your opinion

Distance Yourself From Friend Who Doesn't Care About You
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A good friendship is about mutual love and trust. But it’s also about respecting each other’s opinions. When you’re friends with someone, you want to hear what they think.

You want to get their thoughts on your decisions and maybe discuss them with them. But if you feel your best friend doesn’t value your opinion at all, that’s not a good sign.

18. They try to belittle and embarrass you in front of others

A good friendship is about lifting each other up. It’s about empowerment. It’s definitely not about belittling each other and kicking them when they’re down. If they like to embarrass you in front of other people, that’s a surefire sign your friend doesn’t care about you.

They’re not your real friend, and you should walk away.

19. They encourage you to make bad decisions

Another way to identify a toxic friend is to look out for those that encourage you to make poor decisions. Instead of supporting you in healthy decisions, they want you to make mistakes. They encourage you to get a bad haircut or start smoking. That’s a toxic friendship, and it’s definitely not good for your mental health.

20. They ghost you

Fake friends will ignore your messages and avoid you. A good friend will not do that. A good friend would never ever ghost you. So if you’re not sure whether that one friend cares about you, this is your telltale sign they don’t. 

21. They’re never happy about your accomplishments

A good friend will be genuinely happy about your accomplishments. They will be proud of you and pat you on the back when you succeed. But a fake friend won’t do that. They will feel bad when you feel good. 

22. They try to sabotage your success

Another way to identify fake friends is when they try to sabotage your success. Do you have someone in mind already? That’s a sign they don’t care about you, and you should stay away from them.

23. They steal your thunder

A fake friend will want to be at the center of attention at all times. Even if it’s your party, they will want to steal your thunder. They can’t stand the thought of not being the main character. Stay away from that type of friend. They’re not good for your mental health.

How Do You Deal With Friends Who Don’t Care About You?

How Do You Know Friend Doesn't Care About You
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Dealing with a friend who doesn’t care about you is never easy. But if you want to take care of your well-being, you need to learn how to deal with fake friends. 

The most important thing you need to do is set boundaries. These personal boundaries will protect your mental health and show others how you would like to be treated. You can set healthy boundaries by talking to your friend openly. 

Tell them what you like and what you don’t like in their behavior. But of course, you should know the purpose of this talk is not to fight or insult each other. Your goal is to find the middle ground and treat each other how you deserve. But if your friend doesn’t want to meet you halfway, that’s your sign to leave. 

Every relationship requires mutual understanding and compromise. You shouldn’t be friends with someone who makes you feel worthless and doesn’t value you. 

What to Say to a Friend Who Doesn’t Care About You

Being friends with someone who doesn’t care about you is tough, to say the least. And it’s never easy to talk to them about it. But if you want to protect your well-being, you need to communicate your needs to others. They can’t read your mind, so it’s up to you to tell them how you feel. 

Start the conversation by telling them you love them and that you want to talk to them exactly because you love them. You want to stay friends for a long time, and that’s why it’s important for you to have this talk

Then, start explaining how you feel. Remember, this is not an attack. You’re just trying to tell your friend how you feel.

Focus on ‘I statements.’ Don’t say, ‘You make me feel this way’. Instead, try to say, ‘When you don’t respond to my texts for days, I feel like I’m not important to you.’ That’s the best way to keep the conversation productive and calm. Your friend won’t feel attacked, and you’ll be able to have a good talk.

However, if you’re dealing with a bad person and a toxic friend, no matter how much you try, your efforts will probably be in vain.

You won’t get anywhere with people who are self-centered and narcissistic. So, learn to see the difference between real friends and fake friends first. Then, cut those toxic friends out of your life because they don’t deserve you.

How to Tell if Someone Is Distancing Themselves From You

Sometimes it’s not easy to tell when a friend is trying to distance themself from you. Hopefully, this article will help you figure it out. Here are some clear signs your friend is trying to break up with you:

  • They’re not interested in your life anymore;
  • You’re the only one who makes the effort;
  • They don’t respond to your texts;
  • They cancel plans;
  • Your conversations are awkward;
  • They don’t support you;
  • They spend all their time with their new friends;
  • They’re not opening up to you;
  • They never ask you out anymore;
  • They seem miserable around you.

Signs Your Friend Is Jealous of You

Signs Your Friend Is Jealous Of You
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There are many reasons why your friend is jealous of you. And it’s never your fault. Jealousy is very complex, so you should learn to see the signs of it. Here are the most obvious signs your friend is jealous of you.

  • They don’t respond well to your accomplishments;
  • They only have negative things to say when you share the good news;
  • They’re never happy for you;
  • They’re happy when you’re miserable;
  • They undermine you;
  • They try to steal your thunder;
  • They want to out-do you;
  • They have low self-esteem;
  • They don’t support you.

When to Stop Reaching Out to a Friend

As you grow, you may realize that some old friendships no longer fit and that you’re drifting apart. You may realize that you’re in an unhealthy friendship and that your friend doesn’t care about you.

Your first instinct will be to talk to your friend about it. And that’s a good thing.

Communication is key to a healthy relationship, and friendships are no exception. Try to talk to your friend about this. Share your worries with them. Maybe you manage to settle things between you, and you come out of this difficult situation even stronger together.

But sometimes, you need to be strong enough and admit that a friendship is over. If you continue forcing it, you will only do yourself a disservice. When you’re dealing with a friend who doesn’t care about you, it’s time to call it quits.

Choose yourself. Put yourself first. And try to accept this new reality. 

Final Thoughts

Thanks for taking the time to read my article. I hope you found this article helpful and that it helped you understand all the signs your friend doesn’t care about you.

Remember that a true friendship is full of support and emotional safety. A real friend will be there for you through good times and bad times. They will accept you for who you are and respect your boundaries.

Toxic friends, on the contrary, tend to drain you mentally and emotionally. A fake friend is all about bringing you down instead of lifting you up. It’s important to learn to see the difference between a good friend and a toxic friend. Otherwise, these bad friendships can make your life living hell.

So if you’ve done everything in your power to tell your so-called friend how you feel, but they’re still not coming around, then that’s your sign to walk away. You’re better off without them. Once you find a true friend who will love you and celebrate your victories with you, you will realize that this fake friend was just an important lesson in your life.

If you have any additional questions about this topic or you need professional support, I’m here to help! 

Don’t hesitate to reach out or leave a comment in the section below. Let me know your thoughts, and I hope I hear from you soon!

About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.