Your family circle should be your shelter. You should be able to turn to your family members for unconditional love, support, and advice.
But what happens when you can’t count on them? When you always feel left out and insignificant? Those feelings just hit differently when it’s your family.
It’s never easy when you care about someone who doesn’t care back. And it’s especially hard when it’s your family.
In this article, we’ll talk about signs your family doesn’t care about you and how to overcome these challenges in your life. Let’s dive in.
How Do You Know if a Family Member Doesn’t Care About You?
If you feel like this with your family members, trust me when I say you’re not alone. And no matter how hard you try to find a place in their heart, it’s not your job to do that.
First, you need to identify the signs that you have toxic family members and then learn to deal with them. That’s when you’ll be able to live a happy and fulfilling life.
Here are 31 signs your family doesn’t care about you.
1. They ignore your personal boundaries
Your personal boundaries are your emotional limits. They show you what is acceptable to you and what is not acceptable in a relationship.
Your family should be a safe space where you learn to set those boundaries, first with them and then with other people in your life.
If you feel like your family doesn’t respect your personal space, that’s a common sign you have toxic family members that don’t care about you as much as they do about themselves.
2. They are abusive
Abusive behavior is never acceptable. So if you find yourself feeling emotionally exhausted after spending time with a toxic family member, that’s a red flag.
No person in this world has the right to abuse you or treat you poorly, not even your family members. Try to stay away from people who are physically or emotionally abusive.
3. They always put their needs first
If you always feel like your needs are not met when you’re with your family, that’s because they’re the type of people who put themselves first.
Relationships should never be one-sided so if you feel the conversation is never about you, that might be a sign your family members don’t care about what’s happening in your life.
4. They never ask you about your life
Another common sign they don’t care about your life is that they simply never care to ask.
Think about it: what’s the last time they expressed any interest in your life? Do they truly care if you’re doing well or they’re so self-centered that they never ask? That’s a sign you may want to question your family relationships.
5. They neglect you
For some people, family is a place of neglect. But family members and particularly your parents shouldn’t neglect you.
If you’ve ever felt like your basic needs and wants weren’t met as a child, that’s a sign you suffered serious neglect growing up, and that’s a big NO.
6. They don’t acknowledge your wants and needs
When you’re a child, your wants and needs are in your parents’ hands. So when they don’t take responsibility for your wellbeing, that leaves a mark on you.
If you notice this type of toxic behavior from your parents or close relatives even today, it might be time to accept that they don’t care about you and put your wellbeing first.
7. They never call you
Life can be tough on all of us. But sometimes small things – a simple call from a family member for example – can help you cope with the harsh reality of life.
If your family can’t even give an effort to call you when you’re clearly struggling with some life challenges, that’s one of the signs that they don’t care.
8. They always leave you out of family gatherings
Are you always the last one in your family to find out about family events, or never invited to family gatherings? That’s one of the signs your family doesn’t care about you. This can sometimes happen when other family members have a closer relationship, but there’s never an excuse to completely leave a family member out.
9. They don’t come to your important celebrations
If you always feel alone on your birthday, holidays, or other significant life events, that can take its toll on you.
Sometimes the ones you love hurt you the most – and never having your family members around for important events certainly hurts a lot.
10. They always criticize you
Constructive criticism is one thing, but being constantly put down by your family is another. If you feel you’re never good enough for your parents, you should know that’s an unhealthy family dynamic.
They shouldn’t always be criticizing your life choices, trying to change you, or comparing you with others. That’s not good for your mental health.
11. When your family doesn’t support you
One of the building blocks of healthy family dynamics is unconditional support. So when your family members never support you or praise you for your achievements, how can you expect anyone else to do that for you?
Having unsupportive parents can hurt your self-esteem and interfere with your personal life.
12. They are too controlling
Once you reach a certain age and level of maturity, you become in charge of your own life. As much as your parents or other family members don’t approve of some of your choices, that never gives them the right to control you.
And despite what you may think, their need to control you doesn’t mean they care about you, quite the opposite. They only care about themselves.
13. They play the blame game
Family members that always place the blame on others and never take responsibility for their actions are toxic people, to say the least.
If you grew up in a family where you were always the one to blame, that’s a sign of a toxic relationship. Try to distance yourself from them until you create strong personal boundaries that can help you deal with them.
14. They only call you when they need something
If your own family only calls you when they need something, that’s a clear sign they don’t care about anything else but themselves.
As I said, one-sided relationships are not healthy relationships. Remember, it takes two to tango, and it takes one selfish person to ruin the relationship.
15. They humiliate you for fun
Constantly being humiliated for fun by a loved one, let alone your own family member, is a sign of emotional abuse.
If you always feel like a joke of the party at family events, it might be time to accept that they don’t care about you and learn to deal with it for your own sake.
16. They constantly gaslight you
Being gaslit all the time is another form of emotional abuse. You can usually recognize it in those situations when you try to talk to your family about your feelings, but they try to convince you’re “crazy” or that you’re not remembering things correctly.
They can even try to band together to gaslight you and not acknowledge your emotions – but you should know that this is a sign of toxic behavior.
17. They invalidate your feelings
Similar to them gaslighting, they may try to invalidate your feelings when you tell them you feel hurt. Also, when you try to express any other feeling or even share what’s happening in your life, they may tell you to snap out of it or get over it.
18. They never have time for you
A pretty clear sign your family doesn’t care about you is that they never have time for you. Whether they can’t find time for a quick call or to catch up over coffee, it’s never easy to feel like you don’t matter in a relationship.
19. They compete with you
If there’s an unhealthy competition going on among your family members (most commonly among siblings), that means your parents haven’t built a healthy space for you to thrive. If this family dynamic keeps on going for years, you should try to do something about it or simply distance yourself for your own sake.
20. They don’t want to speak your love language
Different people speak different love languages. As you may already know, there are five love languages that people use to express their love for one another.
When family members truly care about each other, they learn to recognize one another’s love language. So if your family doesn’t give you or receive love in a way that you prefer, that may be a sign they don’t care.
21. They don’t let you be yourself
In a healthy family, every member should have the liberty to be authentic. You should feel free to be true to yourself. Your uniqueness should be celebrated.
If you feel the complete opposite from this, that’s a sign they only want things their way – which is not good for your mental health.
22. They don’t care about your opinion
Are you afraid to speak up when you’re with your family? Perhaps when you try to express your thoughts in a discussion, they minimize you and devalue your opinions.
But you should know that it shouldn’t be like this; your family should be safe space.
23. Your opinion is always wrong to them
It’s completely normal to have an occasional disagreement with your family here and there. But it’s a whole another thing to feel like your opinion is never the right one.
If your family always disagrees with you or makes fun of your opinions, that could mean they don’t accept you for who you are.
24. They give you false apologies
Another sign of a toxic relationship is when they apologize to you without really meaning it.
Receiving an apology just for the sake of it is not a good way to work on a broken family dynamic. A true apology should come from the heart.
25. They break their promises
When your family members promise that things will be different or that they will try to treat you kindly from now on, you can’t help but get your hopes up. That’s why it hurts even more deeply when they break or change their promises along the way.
26. They constantly sabotage you
Unhappy people tend to sabotage other people because that’s how they make themselves feel better. Toxic family members that sabotage your success or joyful events in your life are not good for you.
27. They make you feel guilty when you state your needs
You shouldn’t feel guilty for feeling let down or hurt by your family members. So if you try to communicate your feelings to your loved ones and they just make you feel guilty about it, it may be time to distance yourself for your own good.
28. They make fun of you for stating your needs
Another common sign your family treats you poorly is that they make fun of you for stating your needs. Don’t accept this type of behavior and learn to set strong personal limits.
All your emotions are valid and you shouldn’t let anyone – not even your own parents – convince you of otherwise.
29. You’re never good enough for them
Not feeling good enough is commonly known as “imposter syndrome” that a lot of people experience from time to time.
But if you notice that your family still tries to instill feelings of inadequacy in you, you should consider seeking help from a professional who will help you work on your self-esteem.
30. They don’t support your life choices
When your family members don’t accept your romantic partner or don’t support your parenting style, it may be time for some self-reflection.
Having a family that doesn’t approve of your life choices can be tough and can be a sign they don’t care about you. That’s why you should learn to set strong boundaries and become your own biggest supporter.
31. You don’t feel loved
At the end of the day, your family should make you feel loved, appreciated, and accepted.
If you never feel good enough or are not loved for who you are, that can be hard. Work on yourself and don’t be afraid to cut some family ties for your own well-being.
How Do You Tell if Your Parents Don’t Care About You?
As much as we can’t accept it sometimes, our parents are human beings too. They have their flaws, imperfections, and emotional trauma too.
All of the above signs can also be applied to your parents. If you’ve recognized your parents’ behaviors in any of the above-mentioned signs, it may be time to accept that they simply don’t care about you.
Signs Your Family Is Jealous of You
Jealousy is a complex emotion that can strike people of all ages and genders. It can present itself in different forms in different people.
So if you’re struggling to find a common ground with some of your family members, you may want to dig a little deeper to understand where they’re coming from.
Just like in all relationships, there can be jealousy among family members too. Here are the most common signs to look out for before their jealousy grows out of control.
- They criticize you on a regular basis;
- They don’t congratulate you or cheer you on when everybody else does;
- They keep raising the expectation bar;
- They shamelessly copy everything you do;
- They’re happy when things don’t go your way;
- They always talk about how easy your life is;
- They hate when you try to give them advice.
Signs Your Mom Doesn’t Care About You
Your mom is one of the most vital figures in your life. And she should be a source of unconditional love and support for you. But some people are not that lucky.
If you feel like your own mom doesn’t care about you, you should know that it’s not your fault. No child ever deserves to have a toxic parent or a loveless childhood.
It may be best for you to talk to a professional about it and heal your emotional wounds.
Before you do that, I suggest you check out these common signs your mom doesn’t care about you.
- She neglects your physical and emotional needs;
- She doesn’t show empathy for you;
- She’s never interested in your life, goals, or relationships;
- She constantly puts you down without offering any helpful advice;
- She only thinks about herself and her own image;
- You suffered emotional or physical abuse;
- She gaslights you on a regular basis;
- She forgets about your birthdays;
- She never has time for you and doesn’t try to stay in touch;
- She is not there for you when life gets tough.
Related: Best 61 Unsupportive Family Quotes
My Family Doesn’t Care About My Feelings
Now that you know the most common signs your family doesn’t care about you, you probably have a better understanding of your own family dynamic.
Since you’re reading this section, in particular, I guess you’ve come to the realization that you have an unsupportive family member (or family). And now it’s time to learn how to deal with your family’s toxic behavior.
First of all, I want to tell you that you can find support and acceptance in unexpected places. It doesn’t have to be your family. You can find it in a romantic partner, a friend, or a professional coach.
Start by making yourself your biggest priority. Become your own family. Give yourself a pat on the back.
If you need to let go of certain people – even if they’re your closest relatives – do it!
Your mental health comes first.
You can’t be there for anyone if you’re not there for yourself first.
Work on self-healing. Some wounds are very deep so you’ll need to be prepared to do a lot of self-reflection before you can finally move on with your life.
Always know that there’s a light at the end of every tunnel. Don’t stop until you find that peace and self-respect that you very much deserve.
How Do You Tell if Your Family Loves You?
Growing up in a loving family is one of the greatest gifts in life. If you’re lucky enough to have loving and supportive parents, you already have a rich life.
That being said, no family is perfect; sometimes we go through an emotional roller coaster even with the ones we love.
But getting into an occasional disagreement with your family members doesn’t mean they don’t love you. It means they’re human too. They make mistakes. We all do.
What matters is how they make you feel. If they’re always there for you – even when things get tough in life – that’s a sign your family loves you.
Healthy family love is unconditional. They accept you for who you are. They cherish you and don’t undermine you.
Your family loves you if they genuinely care about how you’re doing; they reach out to you when you feel down and they celebrate your wins together.
A healthy family faces and overcomes challenges together. There’s always room for open communication and everyone feels significant.
What Do You Do When Your Family Doesn’t Care About You?
Accepting that your family doesn’t care about you is a hard pill to swallow. You feel betrayed, left behind, and insignificant. But you shouldn’t let those feelings take over your life.
The best way to deal with the fact that your family doesn’t care about you is to get professional help. Talk to a professional coach or a therapist about your struggles.
Don’t be afraid to let those feelings out because that’s when the healing process can truly begin.
If you have a supportive partner and friends, allow them to be there for you. Remember that you can find love in the most unexpected places. And if your family doesn’t give you the love you need and deserve, it means love is waiting for you in another relationship.
What to Do When Your Family Turns Against You
When you don’t start working on unhealthy relationships in time, things can easily get out of hand. That’s when some family members might turn their back on you. You might feel like you’re the black sheep of the family and everyone has turned against you.
It may be time to do some deep self-reflection.
Examine the situation and try to get to the bottom of the problem. Why did they turn against you? What happened? Can you try to have an honest conversation with your family about this?
If you can’t do this on your own, an outsider with professional experience and a different perspective may be of great help.
Try to talk to your therapist to uncover the reason for your family turning your back on you. You can’t change anyone, but you can change yourself and improve your coping mechanisms. Self-work is the key to happy relationships.
Thanks for taking the time to read my article. I hope these signs your family doesn’t care about you helped you get a better idea of your family dynamics.
Remember, there are no perfect families. All families argue and fight occasionally because not everything can be smooth sailing all the time.
But if you realize that your family doesn’t care about you, it may be time to start prioritizing your wellbeing and mental health over them.
If I can help you in any way, don’t hesitate to ask. Learning to deal with toxic family dynamics is never easy, so accept help whenever you need it.
Let me know your thoughts in the comment section below, and I hope I hear from you soon!