21 Clear Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Be Over You (2021)

7 min read

Do you regret breaking up with your ex?

Or maybe you’re still holding out hope the one who dumped you will change their mind?

You toss and turn at night, wondering if you still have a chance.

Either way, you need closure so you can move on with your life.

This article will reveal 21 clear signs your ex is pretending to be over you so you can know once and for all.

Signs Your Ex Is Pretending to Be Over You

#1: They Make a Big Show of Being Over You

If your ex is constantly posting memes and inspirational quotes about how happy they are alone, then it’s a sure sign they’re not over you.

They’re trying to convince you and the world — but, most of all, they’re trying to convince themselves.

Think about it — if they really were over you, they wouldn’t make such a big deal of it.

They would just get on with their life.

So if he or she is making a big show of being over you, you can be sure it’s just that — a show.

#2: They Won’t Leave You Alone

If your ex doesn’t seem to understand the meaning of “giving each other space,” then it means they’re not over you.

Whether they’re constantly texting you, showing up when you’re hanging out with your friends, or liking all your TikTok videos, this ex isn’t even pretending to be over you.

They can’t bear the thought of their life without you and want to find any excuse possible to contact you or be around you.

And, when they can’t do that, they turn to social media for another hit of the drug that is you.

#3: They “Happen” to Keep Bumping Into You

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Let’s face it — your ex knows exactly where you’re likely to be and when.

If you start bumping into her at the same time every morning in your favorite coffee house, it’s not a coincidence.

Likewise if he suddenly appears in your Thursday night swing dance class and acts all surprised to see you there.

If they keep bumping into you, these “accidental” run-ins are one of the surest signs that your ex is pretending to be over you.

#4: They Find Excuses to See You

Another sure sign your ex is pretending to be over you is if they start making up excuses to see you.

Your ex may be obvious about this — like bringing you a coffee at your office or showing up at your kid brother’s music recital.

But even if they find an excuse to see you in a “negative” context — such as telling you their uncle’s dog died — it’s a sign they still have feelings for you.

You see, it doesn’t matter what the excuse is, just that they get to spend time with you.

#5: They Give You Longing Looks

If during one of these coincidental or not-so-coincidental meetings, you catch them giving you eye contact and lingering looks, it’s a sign that your ex is trying to get back together with you.

Your ex wants you back — and they’re trying to seduce you with their eyes.

#6: They’re Suddenly BFF With Your Friends

Another sign your ex still has feelings for you is if they start stealing your friends.

This could be a way to get information about you by getting them to dish the dirt. 

Or, it might be a subtle sign their goal is getting back together with you.

They may think that if they can convince your friends how great they are, word will get back to you, and you might even take them back.

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#7: They Want to Help You

If your ex can’t stop himself from leaping to your rescue, it’s a good sign he might want you back. 

This is because men have a built-in “hero instinct” that makes them want to protect their partner.

And, if he’s trying to protect you, it means he still has feelings for you.

But it’s not just men who do this. 

Women have an instinct to nurture, so if your ex is bringing you chicken soup when you’re sick, you can be sure she’s not over you.

#8: They Want to Talk About What Went Wrong

You know that expression, “let sleeping dogs lie?”

Well, if your ex is acting like they’ve never heard it by constantly digging up the past, they are definitely not over you.

They’re trying to figure out what went wrong in the hope of making it better and getting back with you.

#9: They Want to Know Everything About Your Life

Is your ex constantly checking up on where you are and who you’re with — and getting jealous about it?

Their jealousy and controlling behavior is a sure sign they want to get back with you — or, at least, they don’t want anyone else to be with you.

#10: They Still Talk to You About Their Problems

You’re just falling asleep when your phone pings.

It’s your ex (again) with a mini-essay on all their life problems, asking for your help.

It might be okay to turn to you for advice occasionally (depending on how you left things between you), but if it’s happening every day, your ex might not be over you.

#11: They Do Things To Annoy You

This is one of those weird signs your ex is pretending to be over you. 

If they’re bugging you on purpose, it means they still care.

If they didn’t, why would they bother? On some level, they still want to be with you, and winding you up is their way of showing it.

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#12: They Pick Fights With You

Similarly, if your ex keeps picking fights with you, it’s actually a way of trying to stay close to you.

For your ex, any kind of emotional involvement with you is better than none, as it will keep you trapped in their vortex and stop you from moving on.

#13: They Try to Sabotage You

Whether it’s a new relationship or a new job, for some exes, revenge is a dish best served cold.

They will wait until things seem to be going well for you, then spread a rumor about you to stop you from getting that promotion.

Or show up screaming like a crazy person when you’re out with your new partner.

Obviously, if this happens, they are not over you — this is a cry for your attention.

#14: They Block You

Blocking is another one of the signs your ex isn’t over you.

Whether they need some time alone or are trying to punish you, they wouldn’t want to block you if they didn’t care about you.

#15: They Try to Make You Jealous

Whether it’s flaunting a new tattoo, hanging out at your favorite bar, or showing off their new squeeze — if your ex is trying to make you jealous, they still have feelings for you.

#16: They Stalk You on Social Media

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Do you suspect your ex is stalking you?

If they view all your Instagram stories or like all your Facebook posts or TikTok videos, they might be.

We all use social media to snoop from time to time, but if your ex is acting like your number one fan, it’s clear they have not moved on.

#17: They Still Have Your Stuff

If your ex is hoarding your stuff and making excuses every time you try to pick it up, he or she is probably putting your old t-shirt on a pillow and snuggling up to it at night.

Hanging on to your stuff is a sure sign they’re not ready to let you go.

#18: They Leave Their Stuff With You

Or maybe your ex is the one who left their stuff with you. 

It might seem weird that they don’t want their favorite book, jacket, or teddy back. 

That’s because they do want their stuff back — but leaving it with you gives them the perfect excuse to see you again.

#19: They Become a Party Animal

If your bookworm ex is suddenly doing body shots off bartenders, you can be sure she’s not over you.

People do things that are out of character after a breakup, and drowning their sorrows every weekend is a classic sign your ex is not over you.

#20: They Drunk Dial You

If you’re on speed-dial during your ex’s drunken shenanigans, it means they’re thinking about you while they’re out getting crunk.

Being drunk and lonely is a dangerous combination that makes people act impulsively — and you are their first impulse.

#21: Their New Partner Hates You

It might sound strange, but if your ex were over you, they wouldn’t talk about you to their new partner.

If you see your ex out with someone new, and that person is giving you the stink-eye, it means your ex has been talking about you. A lot.

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How Do You Know If Your Ex Still Misses You?

If you want to get your ex back, you need to know if he or she still misses you before you make a move.

Observe your ex’s behavior — do they initiate contact, look for reasons to see you, and want to know about your life?

If so, it’s a good sign that they miss you.

How Do You Know If Your Ex Still Cares About You?

Whether you want to get your ex back or not, it’s likely that you will still care about each other for a long time after your breakup.

But you will know your ex still cares about you if they are there when you need support. 

If they check in on days they know are important to you. 

If they still wish you a happy birthday and celebrate your wins.

Caring about someone doesn’t necessarily mean wanting to get back together, but on the other hand, it might. 

It’s up to you to read the situation and your ex to know for sure.

How Do You Know If Your Ex Is Really Over You?

It takes time to get over a breakup, even if it was the right decision.

So you’ll need to give your ex time in order to know if they’re really over you. 

If you see them moving on with their life, meeting new people, and not showing any of the signs mentioned above, it’s safe to say they’re probably over you.

Wish them well, and move on with your life.

Photo by Nina Uhlíková from Pexels

I hope after reading this list, you will have a better idea of where you stand with your ex.

Are there any other signs you would add? Let me know in the comments.

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