Are you wondering what are the signs you’re not straight? If so, you’re in the right place, because this guide will explore the topic in depth.
In my role as a life coach, I am often helping clients better understand themselves and those closest to them.
That’s why I’m keen to share this guide with you.
So, let’s dive in.
Who Is A Straight Person?
Sexuality exists on a spectrum. It’s often far more complicated than labelling someone as “straight” or “gay” – and this is an idea we’ll explore throughout this guide.
If you don’t identify or relate to any of the LBGTQ ideas in this guide – and you’ve only ever experienced attraction to the opposite gender, you’re definitely straight.
But, then when is the line crossed for someone to be not straight?
Are you “not straight” if you had a homosexual fantasy? What if you have ongoing gay sexual fantasies? Are you not straight if you kissed someone of the same sex? What about if you’ve dated men and women?
Are you “not straight” once you’ve had one gay sexual experience? What if you decided you didn’t like it? How about if you’re attracted to viewing gay porn, but only viewing?
These questions should give you an idea of why it’s not always simple to put labels on sexuality.
What Does It Mean To Be A Straight Guy?
To put it simply, it means you’re only interested in romantic or sexual relationships with women. This is the definition we’ll use in this guide, anyway.
What Is The Meaning Of Not Being Straight?
As we’ve explored, it’s not necessarily easy to argue where the line is between “straight” and “not straight” on the sexual spectrum.
However, for the purposes of this guide, we’ll define “not straight” as having some interest in romantic or sexual relationships outside the opposite sex.
21 Signs You’re Not Straight
Given the blurry and unique nature of sexuality, this list may come off as overly simplified and stereotypical to some.
You may have experienced some of these signs and still have no interest in dating outside the opposite sex.
You may have not experienced some of them, yet only be interested in relations with the same gender.
Still, it’s fair to say the more of these signs you’ve experienced in your life, the more likely it is that you’re not completely straight.
1. You’re Questioning Yourself
Honestly, heterosexual people don’t even think of asking themselves these questions, much less reading articles about them on the internet. If you’re searching the web for “signs you’re not straight”, there’s a good chance you’re not completely straight.
2. You Get Turned On Looking At Homosexuality
If watching two people of your gender kiss makes you feel even interested, that could be a sign you’re not completely on the heterosexual side of the sexuality spectrum. If it gives you physical and emotional signs of arousal, that’s an even stronger sign. If you happen to get aroused watching homosexual porn, that’s a strong feeling and a clear indicator.
3. You Get Turned On Thinking About Homosexuality
Do you imagine feelings great in a sexual relationship with the same gender? If homosexual or bisexual thoughts often pop into your head, that’s a hint towards your potential sexual orientation. If these sexual thoughts turn you on, it’s an even bigger hint.
4. You Have Homosexual Dreams
Dreams are strange. Sometimes they’re completely unrelated to waking desires. There’s a lot we don’t know about dreams.
However, we know enough to suggest that constant homosexual dreams might be a hint that you’re not completely straight, especially if you enjoy them.
5. You Have A Strong “Girl Crush” Or “Guy Crush” On A Friend
If you have intense feelings towards a close friend, there’s a chance you might be supressing romantic attraction. It could be one friend or a handful. Many LGBTQ YouTubers talk about the “girl crush” or “guy crush” they had in videos they’ve made about discovering their sexual orientation. There’s an example of such a video embedded above.
6. You’re Obsessed With A Celebrity Of The Same Sex
Again, there’s a chance you may be suppressing feelings of sexual attraction in this scenario.
7. You Have Little Interest In Sex WIth The Opposite Gender
There are lots of reasons why you might have a low sex drive in a heterosexual relationship, but not being straight is one of them.
8. You’re More Comfortable Hanging Out With LGBTQ Friends
Could this be due to feelings of “fitting in”?
9. You’re Excited By LGBTQ Culture
Perhaps you even look and wish you could be part of it.
10. Your Choice Of Media Might Reveal A Lot
If you’re watching a lot of queer cult classics, this might offer a hint about your sexuality.
For the most part, we tend to gravitate towards plots that speak to our experience of life.
11. You Want To Ask Your Friends About Their Bicurious Thoughts
Perhaps you’ve considered having a talk with your best friend about this. Or maybe you’ve asked questions in online forums where you can hide your own identity. Straight people don’t really think about discussing these things non-ironically.
12. You Find It Boring To Talk About Your Straight Friends’ Crushes
Straight women love to spend time talking about this with other women. If these types of topics bore you, it might be that you find them unrelatable. Of course, you might also just be the type of person who craves more intellectual conversation.
13. Homophobia Hurts In A Different Way
Of course, discrimination is uncomfortable at the best of times. But, if you’re unfortunate enough to be exposed to homophobia, it could reveal something about your sexuality. Did you feel even a little bit personally attacked when you heard it? There are some hints to be found within a reaction like that.
14. Your Threesome Experience Can Reveal A Lot
Have you had sexual experiences with both a woman and a man at the same time? Your reaction to this group sex experience can reveal a lot about your feelings too.
A straight person might engage in this type of threesome for fun or to reward a partner who wants it, but how did you feel about engaging with the other person in this scenario? The answer can reveal some clues about whether you’re truly bisexual.
15. Affirmations Can Help You Discover Your Sexuality
Stare in the mirror and shout it with all your might.
How do you feel referring to yourself this way? Does it feel natural or is there something a little off inside you when you do it?
Now, do the same with “I’m bisexual!” and see how you feel. There’s a huge spectrum of sexualities that people identify as, but this can help you find yours.
16. There’s Nothing That ‘Turns You Gay’
…as far as we know.
This idea is usually uttered by clueless homophobes.
“Eating soy turns you gay”
“Lifting weights turns you lesbian”
There’s no science to back up any claims that certain foods or behaviors affect your sexuality – and there’s nothing wrong in engaging with the different gender roles if it makes you happy.
17. You’re Worried About The Opinions Of Your Friends And Family
These fears are what lead to being confused about your sexuality and desperate to label yourself.
The initial reaction might be shock or anger and this makes it harder for people to feel comfortable talking about their sexuality.
Without these fears, you’d experiment without hesitation and you’d probably be quicker to find your sexual orientation.
18. You Had Gay Sex
If you’ve had sex with someone of the same gender, it’s a great sign you might not be heterosexual, but even here the matter isn’t necessarily black and white. What if you decided you didn’t enjoy it? What if you did enjoy it, but now you have no desire to explore that avenue again?
19. You Don’t Have To Define Your Sexuality
You don’t have to define your sexuality for anyone. Perhaps you’ll decide there’s no label that fits you and there’s nothing wrong with that. Traditional sexual orientations are limiting for a lot of people.
20. Sexuality Is Fluid And Evolving
You may have been attracted to women before and enjoyed romantic relationships with them, but now the only person you want to sleep with is your male boyfriend. Sexuality is always evolving and that’s what makes it even harder to define.
How Do You Know If You’re Straight?
It’s hard to define where straight finishes on the spectrum of sexuality.
But if you’re completely straight, you wouldn’t have related to barely any of the points in this list.
Honestly, you wouldn’t have even thought to search for this guide online, let alone read it this far.
Symptoms Of Bisexuality
Bisexuality is being sexually attracted to both genders, so the signs of being ‘not straight’ listed above would also apply here.
Signs Of Bisexuality In Males
There are plenty of stereotypical signs that a man might be bisexual. Camp behavior, skimpy clothes, being overly emotional etc. But these aren’t always reliable indicators. There are plenty of bisexual men who don’t have these traits and straight men who do.
Signs Of Bisexuality In Females
The same applies here. There are stereotypes of lesbian and bisexual women, such as short hair or a masculine fashion sense. But these simply aren’t reliable indicators that someone is queer.
How To Know If I’m Straight Or Bi?
If you can’t figure out your sexual orientation after reading this guide, there’s nothing wrong with that. Moving forward, I’d encourage you to enjoy your life and follow your heart without worrying what your friends or family will think. You should find it easier to put a label on your sexual feelings, the more you embrace them and experiment.
Signs You’re Not Straight Quiz
There’s no serious online quiz on sexuality worth recommending, because it’s such a broad spectrum and the giveaway clues are different for everyone.
Still, I hope this guide brought more clarity to your situation.
Related Content: Is My Boyfriend Gay?: Best Signs To Find Out
Thanks for reading my guide. I hope it helps you figure out and realize what you’re attracted to. Try not to stress if you’re still confused. It’s just a part of your life and doesn’t necessarily have to define you as a person.
Please remember that there’s no shame in being straight, gay or bisexual. Embracing that fact should make it easier to explore your true sexuality.
Finally, feel free to leave a comment below if you want to make a point or ask a question about this topic.
I’d like to keep talking about this matter – and I’ll do my best to answer as many comments as I can.