21 CLEAR Signs She Is Testing You (2024)

If a woman likes you, she’ll likely test you, to know whether you can make a great partner before giving her whole self to you. 

These tests can be conscious or subconscious and vary depending on the woman and the situation. 

But to behave accordingly and win her heart, you must know the signs she is testing you.  Read on to get acquainted with the female psychology of sending signs to test men.

Let’s dive right into it.

Signs She Is Testing You
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1. She Doesn’t Text or Call First

A woman wants to be pursued so she would probably wait for you to make the first move in texting or calling. 

She might seem like she isn’t interested because she won’t call or text you out of the blue. This is because she wants to know whether you consider her worth risking rejection every time you call or text first.

Of course, this will happen during the time you two are getting acquainted. She’ll want to hide her enthusiasm until she knows you’re genuinely interested in her.

To pass this test, keep reaching out to her every time you miss her, letting her know you’re thinking of her. Even better, suggest dates that pull her closer that you may both start texting and calling each other whenever you feel like.

2. She Asks About Your Past Relationships

One of the signs she is testing you is if she keeps popping up questions about your past love life.

All her questions may be signs she is testing you whether:

  • You’re attracted to her type of personality
  • You’re a player
  • You talk ill of exes you’ve stayed in love with or you treat them with respect despite the broken relationships.
  • You accept responsibility for the relationships not working
  • You’ve moved on from your past relationships
  • You’re still friends with your ex-girlfriends

Be careful to not lie to this girl since she may know the answers to these questions and is just testing you to know whether you’re truthful. 

She desires to know who she’s dealing with and right there in your romantic life story, she might deduce whether you’d make it with her or not.

One more tip — if you notice these signs she is testing you; she also wants to know you’re a gentleman so keep the details of your past relationships shallow but understandable.

Image by Sasin Tipchai from Pixabay 

3. She Casually Talks About Her Ex-boyfriends

This is one of the most telling signs she is testing you. Often, for two main reasons:

  1. To know your opinions on certain relationship situations
  2. To inform you of her deal breakers and love language

So when she’s talking about them, don’t be upset about it. Listen and show that you understand.

Also, mention that you’re sorry for anything that happened to her, assuring her you’d strive to not hurt her in that way. Show her a glimpse of how you deal with conflict that she may know she can trust you.

4. She Suggests Splitting the Bill

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While a girl may insist to split the bill even on the first date, this is one of the signs she is testing you. Why? No lady wants to pay the bill during a date while not yet committed to the man.

She tests you in this manner to know whether you can be protective of her, caring for her needs even if she can meet them.

When attracted to a woman, a man’s hero instinct is triggered. This prompts him subconsciously to seek to help out and provide for a woman. She knows this so when you accept her offer to split the bill, she’ll know you’re not attracted to her enough to deem her worthy of all the expense you can afford.

Related: How Does A Pisces Man Test You

5. She Talks About Her Unattractive Qualities

Some ladies talk about their “bad” sides whether true or not to gauge what the guy thinks about it.

So before she completely falls for you, she may want to know whether you’ll stick around when you realize she has schizophrenia, ADHD, or some physical abnormality that most people consider unattractive.

So if you start noticing these signs she is testing you, be honest in your opinions about the topic for this determines whether you’ll work down the line.

6. She Brings Her Friends to Meet You

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This is one of the obvious signs she is testing you to know whether you’re truly into her or she’s blindsided by her deep feelings for you.

She knows her heart might mislead her and fail to see your true intentions or fatal flaws. Her friends on the other hand can observe you objectively and know whether you like their friend and are good for her.

So when she asks you to meet her friends, accept and be yourself around them. This is an honor — to be deemed worthy of knowing her loved ones since she definitely likes you.

Related: Relationship Test – Proven By Tony Robbins

7. She Requests Your Help

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A girl knows if you like her, you would love to be her hero. To determine your feelings for her, she might ask for your help with something.

So if she calls you to help fix her plumbing, do your best to be there for her. Even if you can’t do the task yourself, you can hire help.

Again, a girl wants to know she triggers your hero instinct so don’t miss out on the chance to pass one of the common “boyfriend material” tests.

8. She Holds Back Physical Intimacy

She won’t play hard to get but a girl interested in a serious relationship rather than a casual fling would withhold sex and even sometimes kissing to know whether you’re serious about her.

She knows if a guy is only interested in getting laid, he’d commonly get disinterested in dating her and would move on. But a guy who’s interested in connecting with her emotionally would stick around, showing her that he’s still in love with her.

When you notice the signs she is testing you by withholding sex, wait on her. Despite what her body language tells you, don’t push the idea of sex on her but instead continue fueling the attraction with interesting dates.

When you pass this test, she’ll deem you worthy of giving all her love to you.

Related: Taurus Man Testing You: 21 Key Insights

9. She Delays Replying to Your Texts

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Many guys instantly think, “Oh this girl isn’t interested in me” whenever they come across one who doesn’t immediately respond to texts. But this could be one of the signs she is testing you.

No girl wants to appear cheap or over-enthusiastic so even when she likes you, she might withhold herself from promptly replying to your texts.

Apart from showing you she’s a high-value woman, she’s probably testing your patience if you’ll start demanding explanations for her lack of quick response or you’ll understand she’s occupied and means well.

Some guys fail this test by blowing up a lady’s phone with numerous unanswered texts. But as for you, stay patient and wait for her reply. 

Bonus tip; always make sure your texts stimulate conversation and avoid sending simple “heys” expecting her to be interested in vague talk.

10. She Tells You When in Distress

If a girl likes you, she’ll test if you care when she’s in distress. So if she falls sick, gets stuck in the rain, or something stressful happens to her, she might call you.

She might start a conversation normally but will drop in a problem she’s having since she wants to see if you’ll be emphatic or just dismiss her. This is also to test whether you can be protective of her when she gives her heart to you.

If you’ll be able to help in her distress, you’d incredibly pass the test. But other ways to show you care may be constantly checking on her to know she’s okay. And she’ll know she can depend on you.

11. She’ll Talk Of People Close to Her a Lot

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Whether family or friends, one of the signs she is testing you is when she talks about her loved ones constantly.

See, women test a man’s interest in them by gauging whether he wants to know her deeper. Commonly, if you like someone, you’d want to know them as much as possible and even better, know the ones they love and possibly love them as well.

So to pass this test, you should pay attention whenever she’s explaining details of her loved ones. 

Furthermore, since she knows one of the signs you like her would be remembering details about her, you can use the information she gives you to show you were listening. This makes you more attractive to her.

Related: Ways How A Cancer Man Tests You And How To React

12. She Lets You Deal With Strangers

If you’ve been wondering why she lets you describe your orders at the restaurant or tells you to deal with the parking attendant who’s been treating her unfairly, it’s likely she is testing you.

She wants to watch you talk to strangers you have no reason to be nice to and know how you treat people.

This is one of the signs she is testing your character since she knows you’ll treat her the same way you treat strangers once you have no reason to impress her anymore.

Therefore, while it’s important to not pretend, choose to be kind to everyone from now on. It’ll win you the girl of your dreams.

13. She Asks About Your Goals

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Has she been asking about your future plans? Whether the questions are about career or marriage, this is one of the subtle signs she is testing you.

She wants to know whether your futures are compatible. She wants to know if you’re progressive or are satisfied with where you are. She wants to know whether you go after stuff you want or blame others for a lack of achievement.

Your goals and your current efforts to attain them tell a lot about who you are as a person. So when you notice this sign she’s testing you, take it as a challenge to do what it takes to be the man you want to become.

14. She Meets You Without Makeup

Some women don’t use make-up but those who do can test men by going without make-up during dates to see if they still like them or find them unattractive.

When a girl meets you without makeup or takes it off when with you, she wants to know if you’ll react with disgust or appreciate her nonetheless. In fact, she’ll completely fall for you if you show her you appreciate her natural self more than her enhanced looks.

Therefore, maintain your composure in case she tests you in this manner, reassuring her of her natural inside-out beauty.

15. She Inconveniences You When You Make Plans

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Let’s say you planned to go for a date but she cancels last minute. Or she claims she can’t make it to the agreed destination and would want a change of plans. This could mean she’s testing your patience.

Would you be furious and demand explanations or would you calmly accept to reschedule? Would you be rigid about your initial plans or would you go the extra mile to change plans to have a good time with her?

When she inconveniences you even when you were eager for things to go as planned, pause and let your disappointment cool off. You can then inform her it’s okay, you can reschedule or plan something else that makes her comfortable. Do this and you’ll pass one of her critical tests.

16. She Asks Your Opinion in Various Topics

When a girl likes you, she seeks to know the way you think to see if you’re a great fit for her.

So whether she asks your opinion about some boring politics or a particular philosophy irrelevant to you, pay attention and respond wisely. This is an important test of your character.

Moreover, when she expresses her opinions, respect them even when they clash with yours, and instead of putting her down, get to know her point of view.

As you talk about issues openly, you can both quickly determine whether you’re good for each other.

17. She Tells You It’s Okay to Date Other Girls

Most women test men with the lie that they can see other girls. This is one of the telling signs she is testing your faithfulness. 

To be clear, most women don’t want to date you while you’re dating another, no matter what they say. So no matter how casual your relationship with her is, don’t fail this test by going after other women. 

Instead, tell her she’s the only girl you want to date. Show her how amazing she is no matter the stage of the relationship and she’ll likely fall completely for you.

18. She Says She’ll Meet You at the Date Place

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“I’ll meet you there” is mostly a test to prove whether you’re a gentleman. If you are, she expects you to insist on picking her up but if you’re not, you’d be delighted, and even worse, end the call with an instant “cool.”

She wants to know you care so if you can pick her up, you’ll be improving your chances of winning her heart. 

Of course, she understands if you aren’t in a position to pick her up or send a car for her. But otherwise, offer to pick her up.

Interpreting Signs a Woman Is Testing You

Why does she test me?

Every woman tests men for different reasons. But generally, they test you to know what kind of man she’s dealing with. Instead of spending lots of time and emotions getting to know you, she’ll give you tests subconsciously or consciously to know what kind of a man you are.

How do you know if a girl is testing you? How do you know if someone is testing you?

You’ll know a girl is testing you if she exposes you to tough situations to know your character, ask you questions to understand how you think, and acts like she’d care less to see whether you’ll pursue her.

How do you know if she is serious about you?

You’ll know she’s serious about you when:

  • She acquaints you with her loved ones
  • She engages in deep conversations with you
  • She remembers lots of details about you
  • She supports you
  • She goes the extra mile to make you happy
  • She texts you frequently
  • She includes you in her future plans 

How do you know if a girl is wasting your time?

You know she’s wasting your time if:

  • She doesn’t try to get to know you,
  • She doesn’t ask about your future plans
  • She doesn’t answer most of your texts
  • She’s always unavailable
  • Texts or calls only when she wants something
  • She’s only after sex

Is she testing me through text?

Here are signs she is testing you through text:

  • She doesn’t text you first
  • She delays her replies
  • She asks lots of questions
  • She leaves you in suspense
  • She sends short replies

How to test if a woman is interested in you?

To test if a girl is interested in you you can initiate eye contact or joke about you two dating to see if she blushes when you look intently at her. Not contacting her for a couple of days can also let you know whether she’s interested since she’ll check on you.

Is she testing me by ignoring me?

If she ignores you but reveals some of the signs she is testing you, she’s probably playing with you to see if you’re patient and interested in pursuing her further. If she reaches out to you from time to time, she probably likes you.

Closing Word on Signs She’s Testing You

While her dating tests might seem unfair, they confirm she likes you and is considering getting into a relationship with you. So be patient and keep your cool so you can pass the tests and win her heart.

Which signs she is testing you relate to your dating situation right now? Which other tests do you suspect she’s using? Let’s talk in the comments!

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About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.