33 True Signs She Is Pretending To Love You (2024)

Any healthy relationship requires commitment, sacrifice, and most importantly – real love between two people. 

Do you have a feeling that the woman you love is missing the third ingredient? 

In this article, we explore 33 signs she is pretending to love you, but actually doesn’t.

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Does She Truly Love You? – How To Tell If A Girl Is Just Keeping You Around

When you’re infatuated with a woman, it can be hard to see the truth past your rose-tinted glasses. You may not see that the relationship has no future. 

What are the signs she is pretending to love you? 

If her behavior matches any of the clues below, there’s a good chance she’s not in love, and is just pretending.

Biggest Signs That She Is Not In Love With You 

When you’re in a loving relationship with a woman, you usually don’t have to question it. If you have doubts about how true she is, then your suspicion may be the first sign. 

Don’t ignore your gut feeling. But also be objective. 

The key is to look at her behavior, rather than her words. 

Anyone can say good and loving things in a relationship.

But when she’s pretending to be in love with you, the fakeness will show up in the way she treats you. 

Watch out for these 33 signs she is pretending to love you, even though she actually doesn’t

1. She’s Not Doing The Little Things

When a woman is invested in her relationship, she shows up for the little things, as well as the big things. 

Is she texting you, asking to spend time together or wanting to hear about your day? 

Does she look forward to having conversations with you? Hold your hand while you’re spending time together? 

There are various ways she can show her affection, depending on her personality. 

But if she’s not doing anything, and it feels like you’re the sole driver of this relationship, then it’s one of the key signs she is pretending to love you when she doesn’t.

2. She Gets A Little Too Close To Other Men

No matter your thoughts on the ‘can women and men be just friendsdebate, there are boundaries that can be crossed when it comes to other men. 

If she’ll do ‘relationship’-type things – such as flirting, being overly touchy, or having late night phone calls – with other guys, she doesn’t really value your feelings. 

Which is a sign that she may not have feelings for you.

3. She Is a Habitual Liar

Dishonesty is never a good thing in a relationship. It’s possible that she’s pretending to love you if she lies to you without hesitation. 

If she loves you, she’ll always try her best to be honest, because she values your feelings and opinions. 

But if she constantly tells you lies about where she is, what she’s doing, or who she’s with – it’s time to face one of the most clear signs that you’re not in her heart.

4. She Doesn’t Make Plans Or Goals With You

Signs She Is Pretending To Love You
Photo by Marco Testi on Unsplash

When a woman genuinely loves her partner, she’s excited at the thought of spending the future together. 

In fact, she’ll jump at the chance to make plans and set goals for your life together, if she’s interested in a long-term commitment. 

One of the big signs she is pretending to love you is that the thought of your future plans together doesn’t even cross her mind.

5. She Switches Up Depending On The Situation

Does she filter the way she treats you based on the situation? 

For example, does she act lovey-dovey when on your own or with close friends, but a lot more distant around others? 

If she’s pretending to be committed to your relationship, you’ll find that she’s good at hiding things around certain people. 

Certain people that she may choose over you, if she gets the chance.

6. She’s Hesitant To Move Things Forward

Any relationship goes through stages, from the talking stage, to the dating stage, to the long-term commitment, and even marriage stage. 

If your situation with her is not progressing – perhaps you’re still in the dating stage – and she doesn’t seem keen on moving forward, this might be one of the signs she is pretending to love you. 

You can hope and plead all you want. If she doesn’t want the commitment, she’s probably not with you for love.

7. She Avoids The Important Conversations

Every relationship needs difficult conversations – talks about the future, resolving conflicts, goals – in order to grow. 

If she’s trying to keep things light and uncomplicated, it might seem like a green flag. 

Because it’s good that she never wants to argue or complain, right? 

But as much as we hate conflict, having some conflict is an indicator that she cares about her relationship with you. 

A total absence of arguments or fights may be one of the signs she is pretending to love you.

8. She Doesn’t Act Sentimental About You

When she’s spending time with you, does she take lots of photos? Or does she often recount many ‘firsts’ with you? 

If she has deep feelings for you, it’s usual for her to be sentimental. 

She’ll treasure the movie ticket from the first film she saw with you. Or she’ll frame the first picture you took together. 

Being sentimental is one of the ways a woman treasures and values her partner. If there’s a lack of sentimentality in her thoughts about you, it’s suspicious.

9. Her Behavior Doesn’t Match Her Words

She Is Pretending To Love You, Behavior And Actions
Photo by Mikhail Nilov on Pexels

This might be the most important thing to take note of in dealing with anyone in life – not just your partner. 

She can tell you that you’re the love of her life many times over, but if she’s not acting like it, it’s a bad sign. 

Most red flags can be spotted by just remembering this wise saying:

Look at what people do, instead of what they say. 

If she’s pretending to love you, it will eventually spill into what she does around you, and the way she treats you.

10. She Doesn’t Prioritize You

It’s not that she should make you the center of her world. 

But if you’re in a relationship with a woman, it’s not unrealistic to expect to be high on her priorities. You would do the same. 

Seeing how you stack up against other people, things, and even herself will give you a unique insight into what she feels about you. 

If you’re constantly playing second best in her life, and she can’t even spend just a few minutes to care for you, it’s an indication of where her heart is. Not with you. 

11. She Disrespects You

Actions speak louder than words, but words can still sting. 

If she’s constantly nagging, or talking down about you, your life choices, your friends, and more, she doesn’t respect you. 

Respect is a bare minimum in good relationships. A woman that ignores your feelings while constantly putting you down might not be the one for you.

12. She Hides Things From You

Do you find yourself constantly doubting her intentions? Is she hesitant to show you her phone screen, or share her plans for the day? 

When a woman avoids any honest conversation with her partner, it’s a sign that she’s hiding something she doesn’t want you to know.

Something that could prove she doesn’t love you. 

13. She’s Not Appreciative

How does she treat you when you make romantic gestures, or just do good things for her in general? 

If she acts like it’s just expected of you, without a word of gratitude, it’s a clear sign of lack of respect. Which is closely tied to a lack of love.

If she makes no effort to show appreciation for you, it’s one of the signs she is pretending to love you, but actually doesn’t think highly of you.

14. She Appreciates You Only When It’s Convenient

Let’s say she does show appreciation for you. But only when you buy her designer clothes. Or pay for her and her friends to go on vacation. 

It’s not only a bad sign, it’s a red flag. You might have become a sugar daddy without realizing it. 

Which means that she’s pretending to love you in exchange for favors – most often money.

15. You Haven’t Met Her Friends And Family

When a woman is serious about moving things forward in her relationship with you, she’ll invite you to family events – weddings, birthdays, or holidays. 

You’ll know her best friends and inner circle. 

If she’s not letting you into this part of her life, she doesn’t see a future with you.

It may be one of the most accurate signs she is pretending to love you. 

16. She Doesn’t Care About Your Friends And Family

She doesn’t bother to remember the name of your favorite cousin, or she rarely listens when you talk to her about what’s going on in your family and friend group. 

This is not a good sign. 

A woman in love will cherish what’s important to you, including your family members.

If just a few minutes of family talk has her zoning out, she’s not invested in you.

17. Signs She Never Loved You – She Constantly Gives You Excuses

Say you’re not feeling appreciated and respected in the relationship. 

Like a mature adult, you talk about it with her, and ask for a change. 

She’ll listen to you talk about your feelings. Maybe she’ll tear up and talk about how she’s going to treat you better. 

And then, nothing changes. She’s made you feel heard in the moment, and then goes back to her old ways. 

This is a sign she is pretending to love you, but doesn’t actually cherish you or respect your feelings.

18. She Doesn’t Value Your Romantic Gestures

A romantic relationship isn’t always teddy bears and roses. 

That’s why romantic gifts and gestures are important to a woman. It indicates that her partner still appreciates and loves her. 

If your grand romantic gestures go unvalued and tossed aside, it means she doesn’t really care about the relationship.

And that means that she has little investment in it.

Related article: Eye-Opening Signs He Pretends To Love You

19. She Doesn’t Do The ‘Cute Couple’ Things With You

Even before the age of social media – and taking #couplegoals pics for the grid – most women treasured doing fun things with their lovers. 

Things like taking silly selfies, doing compatibility tests, or going on couple rides at the amusement park. 

Maybe she’s just “not like other girls” – but let’s be honest. Even the most cynical girlfriend will do silly, cliche things with her partner when she’s in love. 

20. She Doesn’t Care About Your Feelings

She Doesn't Care About Your Feelings
Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels

Emotional vulnerability is often difficult for men. They usually need lots of time in therapy, and with highly trained relationship coaches

If you’re a man taking a big step to be open with her, and she responds with apathy, or worse, ridicule, it can hurt immensely. 

All the things you’ve worked through for the well being of your relationships can start to feel pointless. 

But it’s not. Your emotional health is still important, but she’s not the right person. You’ll likely have a better life without her.

21. She’s Not Interested In Your Life

If she’ll listen intently to even the most dull parts of your life experience, she’s definitely in love. If she’s faking love, your life journey won’t matter to her at all. 

She won’t remember the details, and she may even confuse someone else’s story for yours.

22. She Loves Only One Part Of You

You’re in a good relationship when you love all aspects of each other. 

You accept the whole package: the nice things, and the not so nice things. 

Fake relationships are based on liking only one aspect of your partner, and dismissing everything else. 

One of the signs she is pretending to love you is that she only appreciates one part of you – be it your income, status, or looks – and despises the rest.

23. She Hates Being Seen With You In Public

If it’s obvious that she’s ashamed to be seen in public with you, and won’t even hold your hand, her feelings for you are likely fake.

She’s not holding her head up high to be seen with you, and that should make it clear that she doesn’t feel strongly for you.

24. She’s Not A Good Listener

She shows no genuine interest in you, and mainly talks about her own life. 

True love is reciprocal – she wants you to know about her, and wants to know about you. 

If the conversations tend to be one-sided, there’s mainly two reasons: 

  1. She’s self-centered, and 
  2. She doesn’t love you.

25. She Never Initiates

In the early stages of the romance, it’s often expected for the woman to let her partner take the lead. 

But even as time goes on, you’re ALWAYS the one who has to make plans to see her, or take her out. 

She doesn’t even give ideas, or try to make life easier by telling you when she’s available to meet.

26. Signs She Pretends To Love You Through Text – Constant Last-Minute Cancellations

So after going through a ton of effort to make a date with her, she finally accepts. 

Only to send you a “sorry, something else came up” text – just 30 minutes before you’re supposed to meet.

If this happens regularly, it’s a clear sign she doesn’t value spending quality time with you.

27. She Doesn’t Let You In

She Doesn't Let You In
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels

Being open about your feelings and thoughts is the foundation to make a relationship work. 

If she’s often emotionally unavailable, it might be due to avoidant attachment issues. 

Otherwise, it’s one of the signs that she is pretending to love you.

Related article: Clear Signs She Is Developing Feelings For You

28. She Wants To Break Up After Every Little Fight

She picks fights with you often unprovoked, and then in a fit of rage, says that you should break up. 

It could mean that she’s hiding the fact that she has no feelings for you, but is too scared to say it outright. 

29. You’re Excluded From Her Social Media Presence

This is a case-by-case situation, but if you’re not posted, or even mentioned, on her social media profiles, she may not have true feelings for you. 

If she’s posted her past relationships, but won’t show you off online, it’s not a good sign.

30. She’s Overly Critical Of You

It’s one thing to be concerned about your partner, and want the best for them.

But it’s something else entirely, if all she does is criticize your every move. 

It might be that she’s ashamed of you, and wants to change parts of you to be more ‘acceptable.’ That’s not love.

31. She’s Never Jealous Of Other Women

She may be the most emotionally mature girl you’ve ever met. 

But even the most stable girlfriend will feel something when she sees other girls act overly interested in you. 

If she isn’t fazed at all, it might be that her love for you is all pretend.

32. She Never Says ‘I Love You’ First

One of the more obvious signs she is pretending to love you, is if she rarely tells you she loves you. 

Or she only tells you after you tell her. Most women, when they’re in love, adore these three words – hearing them or saying them.

33. You Just Have A Gut Feeling

You’ve read through the above mentioned signs she is pretending to love you, and maybe you can pinpoint which ones she’s displaying. 

But even if she only displayed one sign, and you’re still getting the nagging feeling she’s being untrue, you shouldn’t ignore your gut instinct. 

Your intuition can be a powerful tool to help you avoid fake relationships.


What are the signs of true love from a girl?

A good sign that she truly loves you is that she puts effort in your relationship. If she’s doing the exact opposite behavior of the above signs, you’re in good hands. 

You’ll never feel neglected by a girl who is in love with you.

How do you know if a girl is playing with your feelings?

You know a girl is playing with your feelings, if she only cares about them when it benefits her. 

For example, she’ll appeal to your emotions to get what she wants, but disregards all your other feelings.

How do you tell if someone is pretending to love you?

If you see the signs in this list in your own relationship, it is likely that they don’t have real love for you. 

If you work with a professional relationship coach (also known as a certified relationship coach) and get tailor made advice specific for you, it will be easier to spot negative patterns in your relationships.


Did you identify any of the signs she is pretending to love you? 

It can be heartbreaking to be in such difficult love situations, but it’s always better to know. 

Then you can accept things for what they are, and make space for someone who will truly love you. 

Let me know your thoughts in the comments below! 

About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.