31 Clear Signs My Wife Is Not Attracted To Me & Turnaround Strategies 2022

You’ve probably been thinking “I think I see signs my wife is not attracted to me although I’m not sure.” Well, I’m here to clarify so stay with me to learn what red flags show that your wife is no longer attracted to you. 

Signs My Wife Is Not Attracted To Me
Image by Stefan from Pixabay

Plus what you can do to reignite her passion for you. 

But before we move on, watch this.

Let’s dive in.

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Signs My Wife Is Not Attracted To Me And What To Do About It

Signs My Wife Is Not Attracted To Me And What To Do About It

Let’s talk about signs that show your wife doesn’t feel attracted to you anymore before we get to the fixes. Here we go.

1. She Avoids Getting Intimate With You

You probably used to talk for hours, cuddle, and share your innermost experiences with each other. But now all that has changed.

She no longer wants to have conversations with you. It’s like she’s avoiding any of your attempts to connect. Maybe it has reached a point she won’t stay in the same room with you if she doesn’t have to.

This is one of those biggest signs she’s no longer attracted to you.

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2. She Doesn’t Show You Much Respect As She Used To

A woman who’s attracted to you would be respectful to you. But it’s like your wife doesn’t see much in you to respect you nowadays. 

She likely disrespects you if:

  • She no longer speaks to you as an equal
  • She’s rude towards you
  • She belittles you
  • She neglects her household duties
  • She makes no time for you
  • She doesn’t care about your presence or the absence of it
  • She flirts with other guys 
  • She talks about other guys she thinks to have better qualities than you
  • She doesn’t obey your requests

If you’ve noted these things in your wife, chances are, she’s not attracted to you.

Related: Hottest Sexual Surprises To Spice Up Your Relationship

3. She Isn’t Doing Much To Look Good For You Anymore

Any woman would want to look good for the man she’s attracted to. It’s nature’s way to show a man that he’s wanted. 

But now your wife seems to have completely let go of herself.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s difficult to look good all the time while running around doing chores. But a wife who’s attracted to her husband would try to look good for her man as long as she can.

So if she used to put on that dress she knows you like, or a hairstyle you loved (anything to show you that she’s interested in you) but now isn’t, chances are, she no longer feels attracted to you.

4. Signs My Wife Is Not Attracted To Me – She Rejects Your Advances

As always, you’d try to make your sexiest moves to get her in the mood. But nothing you do seems to turn her on anymore. In fact, she shuts you down subtly to avoid getting intimate with you sexually.

Something has surely changed. And it could be that she’s no longer attracted to you.

Related: Intimacy Coach – 8 Facts Checklist

5. She Isn’t Fazed By Your Female Interactions

A woman who’s attracted to you would likely show a bit of protectiveness every now and then especially when you interact with ladies way too much. Maybe you even tried to flirt with someone to see her reaction.

But if she doesn’t seem to care, chances are, she has lost that spark for you. It doesn’t mean it’s gone forever though that’s why we’ll talk about how to get her attracted again at the end of this section.

6. You Two No Longer Have Quality Time

You used to make time for each other just the two of you  – to enjoy each other’s company and catch up on intimate details of what’s going on in your lives.

But all that seems to be forgotten. She doesn’t ask you out. She never comes up with couple date ideas. She doesn’t even sit to watch a movie with you like she used to. Nothing.

If you’ve been experiencing this, chances are, your wife stopped feeling attracted to you.

7. She Stopped Calling You Sweet Pet Names

Perhaps your wife used to call you Darling, Babe, Bae, Handsome, My Love, Mi Amor or some other cute pet name to show you how amazing and special you are to her. But then somehow, that stopped.

She started calling you by your real name – and definitely not in a sweet way. This is a good enough sign to show you that your wife doesn’t feel that attracted to you anymore.

8. Signs My Wife Is Not Attracted To Me – She Doesn’t Initiate Sex Anymore

She used to seduce you. She was often in the mood for sex and never hid it. She came after you and you loved it.

But now she rarely or even never initiates sex. You’re always the one making advances at her – perhaps she forces herself when she isn’t rejecting you. It makes you feel unwanted. And fear perhaps your wife is no longer sexually attracted to you.

If this is happening in your marriage, chances are, your fears are true.

Related: My Sexless Marriage Is Killing Me: 16 Solutions

9. She Doesn’t Touch You Anymore

Touching is a great sign that you’re wanted by someone. It shows that they feel free around you and can’t get enough of you.

She Doesn’t Touch You Anymore
Photo by cottonbro

While your wife might seem to respond to your touches when you initiate them, her not touching you the way she used to is a bad sign she’s no longer interested in you.

10. Signs My Wife Is Not Attracted To Me – She’s No Longer Playful With You

Playfulness as researchers have come to realize is one of the most wanted qualities among couples. That’s what perhaps drew you to your wife. She probably showed her playful qualities because she was attracted to you.

But now, she’s no longer playful with you.

Chances are, she’s stopped finding you attractive which in turn killed her playful nature around you.

Related: Powerful Signs Of Male Attraction Including Subconscious 

11. She Often Criticizes Your Looks

Okay, this is one of the biggest signs she doesn’t find you attractive anymore. Apart from not complimenting you, your wife now takes her time to criticize the way you look.

Those shirts don’t suit you. You’ve gotten too fat. Your mustache looks cliche.

This shows clearly that she stopped seeing you as the attractive man she used to see.

12. Signs My Wife Is Not Attracted To Me – She Questions Your Manhood

This is perhaps the biggest sign your wife doesn’t find you attractive anymore.

Manhood, masculinity, or manliness is a broad term used to describe men’s ability to exude a “manly” demeanor. Of course, it differs among different cultures, religions, and other social constructs.

But at the end of the day, manhood is how you carry yourself in a way that you feel most valuable, responsible, honest, compassionate, and balanced.

But when your wife starts questioning your manhood with perhaps statements like, “Be like a man” or  “Why can’t you be a real man,” it gets rocky. It means the way you’re expressing your manhood isn’t good enough for her and therefore, she doesn’t find you attractive.

She might be having a point – perhaps you’re neglecting your husband’s responsibilities or some other reasonable point. 

Whatever their reason, if a woman starts questioning your manhood, you better check how you carry yourself because that’s a sign she doesn’t find you attractive.

13. She Seems To Have Lost Interest In Talking To You

If your wife doesn’t think you’re attractive, she loses the desire to talk to you as well. You might confirm this if:

  • She gives you lazy responses where she would clearly give you her opinion. For example, “You’re right” or “Aha”
  • She uses one-word answers when talking to you
  • She repeats what you say to her not bothering herself to think about what you said. For example, if you say, “It’s really hot” she’d be like, “Yeah it’s hot”
  • She mostly uses gestures like nods to answer you
  • She avoids eye contact and embraces non-engaging body language when talking to you.

14. She Finds You Constantly Annoying

It’s easy to overlook the annoyances of someone you’re really attracted to. But it seems your wife feels otherwise.

It’s like she gets annoyed by your talk, your actions, your breathing – your entire presence really. This is one of the warning signs she finds you repulsive or in other words, extremely unattractive.

15. Your Wife’s Attraction Has Shifted To Other Men

Perhaps she doesn’t flirt openly but if your wife constantly talks to and about other guys (especially positively), chances are, she’s lost a desire for you.

She might compare you to other men, get curious about other men, or even dress and act in a way pleasing to other men.

Chances are, she has lost her focus on you and naturally, it has shifted to other men.

16. She’s No Longer Attracted To The Things She Loved About You

 Perhaps you did something you know she was attracted to but got no favorable response. This is a sign she lost attraction for you.

17. She Seems Too Happy About You Being Away From Home

If your wife seems bothered by your presence more than your absence, chances are, she doesn’t want to spend time with you anymore. And the reason behind that could be that you’re no longer attractive to her.

She’ll eagerly usher you out of the house for your business trip or just any activity you’ll do away from home.

In a nutshell, she’ll be too willing to let you out of her sight than before. 

Related Content: Sexless Marriage: Dangerous Effects On Husband    

18. Signs My Wife Is Not Attracted To Me – She Doesn’t Do PDA Anymore

If you’re the kind of couple who doesn’t shy away from Public Display of Affection, otherwise known as PDA, then you should note a change if your wife has started keeping a distance in public.

This is especially if she also does the following.

19. She Doesn’t Treat You Affectionately Anymore

She used to kiss me at the door every time I came from work. She used to make me my favorite meal every Friday. She used to arrange surprises I’d love every now and then. But she doesn’t do it anymore. I think she’s not into this relationship anymore.”

Do you have the same situation this guy is lamenting about? Then it seems your wife isn’t attracted to you like she was before.

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20. She’s Into Self Pleasing More Than She’s Into You

Whether you mind your wife masturbating or not, if she pleasres herself more than she asks you to pleasure her, chances are, she no longer feels attracted to you anymore.

21. Signs My Wife Is Not Attracted To Me – She Doesn’t Orgasm Anymore

Even if you’re having sex almost like you used to, your wife isn’t sexually attracted to you as she used to be if she doesn’t orgasm anymore.

22. She Doesn’t Care About Her Satisfaction In Bed

Even worse, if your wife rushes you to finish without regard for her satisfaction, chances are, she isn’t into you.

It doesn’t mean she isn’t in love anymore otherwise she wouldn’t care about your satisfaction. But she could have lost the sexual attraction she needs to desire and enjoy having sex with you. 

23. She Lost Interest In Your Life

When attracted to someone, you’d want to be in the know of their everyday life. So if your wife stopped being curious about your life, it’s probably because she lost her attraction to you.

This doesn’t mean she wants to quit the marriage, no. You can learn to pursue a healthy relationship with your wife once again at the end of these signs.

24. She’s Checked Out While Making Love

Do you feel like it’s just you instead of the two of you making love? She might be staring into the thin air or even fake a few moans but you’ll know when your wife is checked out during sex.

This sign could mean she’s stressed by something or just that she doesn’t find you attractive.

25. She Becomes Tense When You Touch Her

Women tend to use physical contact to confirm their physical attraction. But if your wife avoids touching you and even tenses at your touch,  it’s a sign she doesn’t want physical intimacy. 

And the reason could be that she isn’t attracted to you.

26. Signs My Wife Is Not Attracted To Me – She No Longer Appreciates You

When you study relationship polarity, you’ll realize that women (who are majorly of feminine polarity), enjoy nurturing men by appreciating their efforts.

But if it seems nothing you do is good enough for her, chances are, her attraction for you waned.

27. She No Longer Invites You To Dates And Vacations

If your wife used to enjoy going on dates and vacations with you, she probably made plans and invited you to come along even with friends. 

But if she started taking solo trips and going on dates with the girls alone, she possibly has lost attraction to you. She probably has a good reason for that but you’ll have to ask her if you want to keep the flame alive.

28. Signs My Wife Is Not Attracted To Me – She Treats You Like A Bro

Even if a woman loses attraction to a man, if she can be friends with the man without romantic feelings involved, she’d treat them like a bro. It’s like being friendzoned by your own wife.

If your wife lost romantic feelings for you but still wants to be your friend:

  • She’ll act like your sexual advances are weird
  • She would make your sex feel like friends with benefits, no lovemaking
  • She’ll go to bed early so you don’t get flirty
  • She’d always suggest that you do things in groups
  • She shies away from physical contact
  • She has moved away from romantic labels like “babe” to more platonic ones like “dear”

It does hurt to be friend zoned by your wife but fortunately, you can escape it with the tips we’ll provide below and build a healthy marriage.

29. She Fantasizes About Other People And Relationships Too Much

It’s okay to be inspired by other people’s relationships and talk about them a bit.

But it’s likely your wife is losing attraction to you if she keeps talking about other relationships and people as if your long-term relationship is too boring to focus on.

30. Signs My Wife Is Not Attracted To Me – She Keeps Interrupting Sex

When making love, you’d definitely enjoy it more when you get all your wife’s focus and energy.  But if their attraction to you wanes, you’ll, unfortunately, notice their focus shifting to other issues.

My Wife Is Not Attracted To Me
Photo by ROMAN ODINTSOV

She may ask you if you paid the electricity bill or if you’re attending the out of state seminar you mentioned, or if your plans to get a promotion are succeeding.

31. Your Instincts Tell You She’s Not Attracted To You Anymore

Even if you didn’t have a clear idea about your wife losing attraction to you, you probably had that gut feeling. And it mostly is right.

So if your instincts (along with some signs on this list) tell you that your wife’s attraction to you has reduced, it probably is true.

As you feel perhaps the biggest blow in your married life, let’s get to what you can do to change things for the better.

Related: Signs Your Husband Doesn’t Find You Attractive Anymore

What Do You Do When Your Wife Isn’t Attracted To You Anymore? How Do I Get My Wife To Be Attracted To Me Again

Want to get your wife’s eyes on you again? Master the following few points.

Get To Know The Reason She’s No Longer Attracted To You

If you keep assuming what made your wife lose attraction for you, you’re making a grave mistake.

Your assumptions would mostly get you the wrong reason behind the situation, lead you to the wrong strategy to get your wife’s attention back and doom your efforts to fail ending up in a worse situation.

You can only know the real reason by asking her. But it also depends on how you ask it.

You must brace yourself for the biggest blow of your life so you can ask her in a way that elicits an honest answer.

You can say something like, “My love, I’ve really been observing our relationship and honestly feel you’re losing attraction to me. I’m ready to hear what caused you to stop feeling attracted to me so kindly be honest so I can know where to make changes.” 

Stay True To Who You Are

Your wife might give you reasonable reasons or unreasonable ones for losing her attraction toward you.

Reasonable ones are those that hurt her and yet are within your control to change. Like the fact that you’ve been constantly rude and unsupportive to her. 

Unreasonable reasons could be something like parts of your looks she doesn’t like that you can’t change.

Whatever her reasons for losing attraction towards you, make sure that you don’t change who you truly are to please her. No one should take away your true identity so they can please themselves. Not even your wife.

So tell her you need some time to think about her reasons and get feedback from wise people you can trust. See where you can change positively, where you can reasonably compromise and the things you need to explain to her as the stuff you won’t be able to do.

Related: How Long Is Too Long Without Sex In A Relationship?: 9 Things To Consider

Win Your Wife’s Heart Through Her Love Language

You probably know loving gestures common among women. But what you might not know is your wife’s love language.

How does she enjoy being loved? What affectionate gestures matter to her most? What does she wish you knew so you could make her feel great? Ask her these things. And truly listen.

If you love your wife the way she enjoys being loved, what would hinder her from desiring you? 

Put In Some Self Development

In this journey of winning back your wife’s attraction, you must practice personal development. After all, you cannot make your wife happy if you’re not confident and happy yourself.

Develop a good sense of self, work on your self esteem, and do some self confidence building exercises if you want to become the man of great value you envision yourself to be. This is core to developing a successful relationship with your partner.

Spice Things Up In The Bedroom

Married couples don’t need just sex to feel satisfied. They need their sexual language known by their partner so they can be wrapped up in their own little world.

But this means getting curious about your partner’s likes and dislikes in bed as well. You need to give your best as well, being spontaneous about positions, locations and literally anything you want to do.

Related: Turnaround Strategies When The Intimacy Stops In A Relationship

Be Kind To Her – How Do I Get My Wife To Be Attracted To Me Again

Women lose attraction to a man mostly when he’s unruly with them. With exceptions though where other reasons come into play

But the common reason a woman quit loving a man is mostly because he has treated her unkindly over a long period. And when she gets tired of being patient with him, she loses interest altogether.

That’s why you need to check how you treat your wife so you can make effort where you’ve been handling her badly. 

Go For Counselling

At the end of the day, if you can afford therapy or coaching, go for it. Whether you’d go alone first or with your wife, you need to check in with a professional especially when issues are too overwhelming to deal with alone.

A therapist or coach can help you deal with your relationship issues fast and with tailored strategies that trace problems to their source during childhood.

More On Signs My Wife Is Not Attracted To Me – How To Keep My Wife Attracted To Me

How Do I Tell If My Wife Is Attracted To Another Man?

  1. She becomes secretive
  2. She compares you to another man
  3. She becomes emotionally distant
  4. She disrespects you
  5. She becomes attached to an unreasonably changed schedule
  6. She gets defensive whenever you bring up the infidelity topic
  7. Your communication suffers

Related: Signs You & Your Partner Are Growing Apart & Solutions

Why Is My Wife Not Interested In Me Sexually?

  • She’s struggling with mental health issues like depression
  • She’s simply stressed
  • She doesn’t find you generally attractive anymore
  • She feels pain
  • She doesn’t feel satisfied
  • She is losing interest in your relationship
  • She has libido issues
  • She doesn’t feel emotionally connected to you
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Final Word

There you have it – both obvious and subtle signs my wife is not attracted to me.

You might have spotted a couple of signs to confirm your suspicions that your wife is losing attraction to you. But remember, you need to ask her to know for sure. From there, you know what to do.

Good luck getting your wife to desire you again. And share this piece with others to help them get their wife’s attraction back as well!

Cheers!