33+ CLEAR Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You (2024)

Are you not sure where things are going with your romantic interest? If so, you probably need to search for the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

If you see enough of these signs, you can be sure that he’s stringing you along and not looking for anything serious.

It’s important to be able to read these signs, because a lot of guys won’t admit that they’re not interested in a serious relationship. Unfortunately, there are a lot of players out there trying to string you along while also dating more women.

In my role as a life coach, I am often helping clients better understand the intentions of important people in their lives. That’s why I’m excited to share this guide with you. 

So, let’s dive in.  

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How Do You Know A Guy Is Not Serious About You?

Below is a list of 33 signs that a guy doesn’t want a relationship. The more of these signs you spot, the more likely it is that he has no intentions of getting into an exclusive relationship with you.

1. He’s Distracted When You’re Together

Is he present with you or always distracted? If he’s more invested in his phone than his conversations with you, that’s a clear sign he’s not too interested in more than a casual fling. It’s also an indicator that he’s got more important women on his mind. 

2. He’s Vague When You Ask Him What He Wants

At some point during your time with this great guy, you’re probably going to want to have “the talk” about where it’s going between the two of you. After all, it’s only fair that you’re on the same page as far as your future aspirations, right?  

Most commitment-phobic men will stumble, stutter over their words and do whatever it takes to avoid talking about this. In most cases, he’ll avoid giving you a definite answer then try to change the subject. Consider this a giant red flag which makes it clear he’s not excited about a relationship with you.

3. He Won’t Make Long-Term Plans

What happens if you try to organise a trip with him that’s a few months away? If a guy genuinely sees a future with you, he’ll have no hesitation about paying for the flight and accommodation in advance. If he delays paying for these things and making concrete plans, that’s another sign that he doesn’t see himself spending time with you that deep into the future.

4. He Doesn’t Introduce You To His Friends Or Family

Most guys like to wait until they’re serious about a woman before introducing her to their friends, and especially to their family. If you’ve been hanging out for a hot minute, that’s another indicator that he’s not looking to go all-in on a monogamous relationship with you. 

Related: Why Does He Keep Me Around If He Doesn’t Want A Relationship?

5. He Doesn’t Want To Meet Your Friends Or Family

It’s the same thing if he finds excuses not to meet your friends or family. As a general rule, if you haven’t met each other’s families yet, it’s not time to take your relationship seriously.

Doesn’t Want A Relationship
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6. He Doesn’t Take You On Fancy Dates

If a guy doesn’t try to impress you by taking you out on a real date from time-to-time, he probably only sees you as a friend with benefits.

7. He Bails On Plans

If he’s constantly flaking on plans to spend time together, it’s clear that you’re not a priority in his life. In most cases, a guy like this is using you as a Plan B, while trying to arrange dates with women he likes better than you.

8. He Ignores Your Texts For Several Days

Sure, we all have times in our life where we become busy and neglect to answer our texts for a day or so. But, if he’s constantly leaving your messages unanswered for more than a day, that’s another clear sign that you’re not a priority in his life.

9. He Ghosts And Comes Back

If he ignores you for so long that it feels like he’s gone forever, only to come back out of the blue with some lame excuse for disappearing, don’t believe him. This is one of the most obvious signs that he doesn’t want anything serious with you and is only looking for some booty calls.  

10. He’s Emotionally Unavailable

If he’s serious about building a relationship with you, he’ll occasionally be vulnerable and honest about his feelings. If this guy is constantly poker-faced about how he feels, he’s either hiding some deep-rooted truama from his past, or only wants a casual relationship.

11. He Doesn’t Initiate Contact

Is it always you trying to see him and never the other way around? That’s another good sign that he doesn’t care whether this casual thing progresses into a proper relationship. 

12. He Only Texts When He Wants To Meet You

Men who are interested in a real relationship will usually text you to catch up and see how you’re doing. If he only ever texts to invite you to his place, that says a lot about his true intentions with you.

Related: Clear Signs A Married Man Is Using You & How To Get Over It

13. He’s Flirtatious With Other Women

This is one of the biggest red flags if you’re trying to tie him down into a relationship. This isn’t just because men with good game are more likely to try and do so. But also because he wouldn’t be interested in flirting with another woman if he wanted to move things forward with you.

14. He has a lot of female ‘friends’

It is abnormal for straight men to have more female friends than male ones. In most cases, if you see him texting or hanging out with a lot of women, he’s probably at least trying to hook up with most of them.

15. He Makes Time For You

Is this guy always too ‘busy’ to hang out with you? That’s an easy out for a guy who isn’t taking you seriously. The truth is: we all make time for people who are important to us. If he’s not making time for you, you’re not important.

16. He Doesn’t Ask About Your Day

If he doesn’t ask, it’s because he doesn’t care what happened. Most likely, he’s only interested in what you look like naked.

17. He Doesn’t Remember The Things You Tell Him

This is either because he doesn’t pay attention, or because he’s got too many women talking to him about the monotonous details of their life. 

18. He Doesn’t Care About Your Problems

Relationships are about tackling the ups and downs of life together. If he’s not interested in helping to solve your problems, this isn’t a guy looking for a serious relationship.

19. He Doesn’t Do You Favors

Relationships are about making life easier for each other. Indeed, it’s part of the male psyche to want to protect his number one woman. If he’s not willing to help you out of sticky situations, he most likely doesn’t want a long-term relationship with you. 

20. His Plans Don’t Include You

If he’s always off doing awesome stuff with his best friends and not inviting you. Sorry, but you’re not his perfect woman.

21. He Doesn’t Talk About Your Future Together

If he wants a future with you, he’s probably going to talk about it eventually. If not, you can assume you won’t be part of his for too much longer.

22. He Doesn’t Post Photos Of You Two On His Social Media Accounts

It could be that he’s not a big user of social media. But, more likely, he’s trying to protect himself from another woman seeing him with you.

23. He Doesn’t Want You To Take Photos

It’s the same deal here. If he doesn’t allow photos of you guys to be taken, he’s either not proud to be seen with you, or he’s trying to cover his tracks. 

24. He’s Not Affectionate

If a man truly cares about you, he’ll be showing you through affectionate words and actions. If he’s only doing that in and around the bedroom, that’s another sign he doesn’t want a relationship.

25. He’s Secretive

If he’s secretive, he’s got something to hide. If he was serious about a long-term relationship, he’d want to be able to talk to you about anything. The problem is: it’s usually his other side-chicks that he’s hiding.  

26. He Lies To You

This is the secretive guy’s Plan B if you’re cottoning on to his wrongdoing. Lies will always be a bad sign if you’re aiming for a healthy relationship with this guy. 

27. He Doesn’t Let You Sleep Around

Men and women can bond more when cuddling in bed at night. If he doesn’t want you sleeping over, it’s often because he doesn’t want you developing strong feelings. Either that or he doesn’t like hanging out with you for too long after sex. 

28. He Doesn’t Use Terms Of Endearment

The cute little nicknames are another sign of affection that men will give if they’re talking to someone they really like. These nicknames will never pop up if he only wants something casual.

29. He Doesn’t Get Jealous At All

It’s somewhat toxic to try and make a love interest jealous. Still, a lot of women will do this to test to see if their man is losing interest (or never had any). They do it because it’s effective!

If this guy doesn’t get envious even when you give him a reason to do so, that’s one of the clearest signs that he doesn’t want a relationship.

30. He Doesn’t Apologize For His Mistakes

We all mess up and hurt the feelings of our love interests from time to time. We’re only human, after all! Still, if this guy upsets you and makes no effort to redeem himself, that shows he doesn’t really care about you.

31. He Doesn’t Tell You How He Feels

Ultimately, if a man wants something serious with you, he’ll talk about it at some point. If he’s never talking about how much he likes you, that should be the only hint you need about his intentions.

32. He Doesn’t Put In Any Effort To Impress You

This is a basic rule of relationship psychology. If he wants to be with you, he’ll try to impress you. If he doesn’t want a relationship, he won’t. There’s no grey area here. 

33. Trust Your Gut Feeling

Overall, women are pretty intuitive when it comes to a man’s feelings towards them. Sadly, they lie to themselves because they want to make this man fall for them so badly. The truth is: if you have a feeling he’s not that into you, you’re usually right.

Don’t panic. There are plenty of other guys who would be thrilled to date you. 

Frequently Asked Questions

Let’s round off the article with the answers to some frequently asked questions about men who don’t want a relationship.

Why Does He Keep Me Around If He Doesn’t Want A Relationship?

There are a lot of reasons why a man will still keep you around even when he doesn’t want a relationship. I have created a separate guide explaining the most common reasons.

Keep Me Around
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Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You Through Text

You can find plenty of signs that he doesn’t want a relationship through text. The most common signs are what he doesn’t do. If he doesn’t reply to your texts quickly or thoroughly, that can be a damning sign. If he is generally cold and emotionless through text, that can also be an indicator of his lack of strong feelings towards you.

Signs He Doesn’t Want To Lose You

It is very possible that – even though he doesn’t want an actual relationship – he also doesn’t want to lose you. Essentially, in this situation, he wants to have his cake and eat it too.

In this case, you will occasionally notice genuine passion and affection in his actions. He may verbalise his true feelings. At the same time, you’ll still see a lot of the signs that he doesn’t want to commit listed above.

Signs A Guy Doesn’t Know What He Wants

The path to true love never did run smooth. Love can be complicated, especially if he’s a young man who doesn’t understand his emotions yet.

It can seem like one of the biggest life decisions for guys to get into a proper relationship, which is why you’ll see a lot of guys hesitating, even when they have strong feelings.  

When a guy is in this situation, you’ll spot great inconsistency in his behavior. Perhaps he shows a lot of affection in one moment, only to turn cold the next. In other words, instead of only ever having one foot in the relationship, he’ll either have both or none. 

Signs He Doesn’t Take You Seriously

Doesn’t Take You Seriously
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It’s possible that a man is ready for a committed and passionate relationship, but not with you. If he doesn’t see you as a serious candidate for a relationship, this guy will still show all of the signs listed above, but maybe you’ll eventually notice him treating another woman more seriously.

Any More Questions About The Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You

Thanks for taking a short moment to read my guide! I hope it helps you to understand when men are interested in relationships with you – and to re-evaluate your plans with those who aren’t.

If you have a question on this topic – or about relationships in general – feel free to leave a comment below.

I’ll spend some time reading the comments and will do my best to respond to all of them.

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About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.