31 Signs An Emotionally Unavailable Man Is In Love With You (2024)

Welcome to my list of signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you.

Signs An Emotionally Unavailable Man Is In Love With You
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Below, you’ll discover how to spot an emotionally unavailable man, what attracts them and how to tell if one is falilng in love with you.

In my role as a life coach, I am often helping clients better understand themselves and those closest to them. 

That’s why I’m excited to share this guide with you. 

So, let’s dive in. 

How Does An Emotionally Unavailable Man Behave?

An emotionally unavailable man struggles to show or embrace their emotions. This is most common when emotionally unavailable men fall in love.

In most cases, when they begin to experience strong feelings for a woman, they’ll turn cold or pull away.

When dating, an emotionally unavailable man will avoid talking about his feelings. They’ll remain emotionally distant, difficult to read and often play silly mind games. More importantly, he’ll do everything he can to avoid getting sucked into a serious relationship.

Of course, this is somewhat common in the initial stages of dating, but an emotionally unavailable man will remain this way for a lot longer, perhaps for the entirety of your relationship.

Emotionally unvailable men often act this way because they’ve been hurt by a loved one in the past. They opened up their heart to this person in search of a deeper connection, only to be shot down. This can damage one’s mental health. It could be a result of unhealthy friendships, toxic relationships or childhood trauma caused by neglectful parents.   

Either way, this can inspire them to close themselves off to avoid being hurt so badly again. In most cases, it’s a subconscious defense mechanism. The bad news is: it usually prevents them from a happy long-term relationship again.  

If you don’t end up dating an emotionally unavailable man, it might never feel like he’s in love with you, as he’ll often do everything he can to hide it.

However, there are some reliable signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you – and we’ll be exploring these in the guide below. 

What Attracts Emotionally Unavailable Man?

Want to make an emotionally unavailable man fall for you? Your best bet is to come across as a woman who is not ready for a relationship at all.

Emotionally unavailable men are mostly excited about dating another emotionally unavailable person, because this presents their lowest risk of having their heart broken. 

Often, they’ll pursue women who aren’t in town for long, are women who are already in romantic relationships.

If you don’t want emotionally unavailable men in your life, open up your heart without hesitation. You’ll usually scare them off.  

With that said, you might attract an emotionally unavailable man even without being a cold and heartless person. 

Perhaps, you’ll open your heart and inspire this guy to develop strong feelings.

So, let’s now dive into the signs that an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you.

How Do You Tell If An Emotionally Unavailable Man Loves You?

Emotionally Unavailable Man Loves You
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1. He Tries To Impress You

This is a good sign that he’s trying to build a deeper emotional connection with you. 

2. He Begins To Open Up

If he begins to share his feelings even a little bit, that’s a great sign that he’s beginning to fall for you and wants you in his life. Appreciate that this might be a huge step for him. Don’t ever tease, punish or pull away from him if he shares his feelings.

3. He Remembers Little Details About Your Life

This is a nice sign that he does actually care about you, even if he’s not showing it in the most obvious of ways. 

It’s possible that remembering details like someone’s shoe size comes as second nature to him, but more likely he remembers these things because he cares about you. 

At the very least, this shows that he’ll listen when you open up to him.

4. He Cares About The Small Things Going On In Your Personal Life

The fact that he actually asks personal questions and pays attention to your answers is another nice sign that an emotionally unavailable man cares deeply about you.

5. He Notice Small Changes In Your Appearance

You got a haircut or a new pair of earrings? Most men don’t notice this at the best of times. If he’s observant enough to spot these changes, that says a lot about his feelings towards you.

6. He Can’t Stop Talking To You

If your conversations take place every day and last all night long – or even something close to this – you can take this as one of the clearer signs an emotionally unavailable man is falling for you. 

7. He Becomes More Available

Perhaps at the start of knowing this guy, he was difficult to contact and slow to respond to your messages. That’s par for the course when dating an emotionally unavailable person, but you may notice that he becomes more available to talk and hang out as he falls for you. 

8. He Starts To Initiate Contact

An even bigger sign of love; he may begin to start texting you first. This is a big deal for him, even if it’s normal for other men.

9. He Invites You On Dates

It can be tough to convince an emotionally unavailable guy to take you on a proper romantic date. Perhaps you had to settle for Netflix and Chill sessions at the start of knowing him. If he does start taking you to romantic places, that’s another nice sign of his emotions and desire for a relationship growing.

10. His Texts Become Reliable

Maybe he was taking days to text you back before and now he’s more punctual? That’s another sign that he’s falling in love, so make sure you’re paying attention to this.

11. He’ll Text You Just To Chat

Maybe in the past he’d only text you to arrange to meet up. If he’s now interested in smalltalk via text, that’s another sign he really likes you.

12. He Includes You In His Social Media Posts

This is a big deal because he’s showing you off to his inner circle of friends and online contacts. An emotionally unavailable person wouldn’t do this for just anyone. 

13. Compliments

Maybe he deliberately refrained from complimenting you in the past, but he’s starting to show his emotional side with some honest compliments now? You can take that as a sign he’s falling for you too.

14. Cute Gestures

Maybe it’s a sweet hand-written note. Perhaps it’s a small gift. It could be something as simple as sitting close to you on the park bench. These traditional ways to show your love interest you care are a big deal to an emotionally unavailable man. 

15. He Starts To Do You Favors

Emotionally unavailable men are generally somewhat selfish in their courtships. If he’s doing you favors that don’t benefit him in any way, you can take that as a sign this guy likes you a lot. 

16. He Gets Flustered Around You 

An emotionally unavailable man is generally very good at staying calm and collected around most women. If you’re able to make him flustered, perhaps with a compliment or an observation about his personality, that means he cares about you.

17. He Reveals His Insecurities Around You 

When an emotionally unavailable man likes you, he’ll open up more. One way he’ll do this is by revealing his insecurities. 

18. He’ll Allow Himself To Be A Little Goofy

This is him letting his guard down. He’ll only do it when he begins to feel comfortable with his love interest.

19. PDAs In Private

Public displays of affection (PDAs) might be a bit much to ask from an emotionally unavailable man in a crowded shopping mall.

But, as he begins to fall for you, perhaps you can expect a cheeky kiss or butt squeeze when no-one is looking.

20. You’ll Notice Him Drop The Veil Briefly

Perhaps you sense that he’s about to do or say something so utterly romantic, before he composes himself and changes his mind. This can be both sweet and heartbreaking in equal measure.

21. He Gives You A Cute Pet Name

This is another sweet gesture, which he may only find the strength to do when he really likes you.

22. You Make Plans Together In The Distant Future

This is another way he opens up and makes himself vulnerable. Make sure this is appreciated.   

23. You Meet His Friends

When an emotionally unavailable man introduces you to his social circle or invites you to work events, take that as a sign he’s falling for you. Maybe it’ll be his parents next.  

24. His Friends Tell You

Maybe he’s told his closest friends about you. If they spill the beans about his feelings, you can be confident about your emotional connection with this guy. 

25. He’ll Admit He’s Emotionally Unavailable

This is his way of asking you to be patient with him. He’s trying to be emotionally affectionate at his own pace. 

26. He’ll Tell You Why He’s Emotionally Unavailable

Perhaps he’s not self-aware enough to mention that he’s emotionally unavailable, in which case maybe he’ll explain about the relationship issues in his past relationships to make him close off his emotions with women so often.

It can be tough to discover what happened in an emotionally unavailable man’s past, but if he likes you maybe he’ll feel comfortable enough to talk about it. You’re becoming his safe space, and it’s important for his emotional well being that you don’t let him down. 

27. He’ll Let You Into Other Parts Of His Life

This is a nice sign that he’s feeling comfortable and maybe considering you as a potential life partner, even if he’s not ready to admit it. 

28. He’ll Seemingly Stop Hanging Out With Other Girls 

He might not admit that he’s thrown away his side-chicks, but if you get the impression that’s what’s happened, you can consider this another sign he’s genuinely interested in building a relationship with you. 

29. His Body Language Reveals The Truth

While it’s easy enough to close off your emotions verbally, it’s common that an emotionally unavailable man will reveal his true feelings with his body language.

Is he always standing physically close to you? Does he put his arm around you as if he feels responsible for your safety? Does he stroke your arm in a loving manner? These are all clues you should ocnsider. 

30. You’ll See It In His Eyes

The look of love is difficult to describe, but it’s even harder for him to hide when he has real feelings for you. You’ll know it when you see it. 

31. He’ll Kind Of, Maybe, Say It

Even if an emotionally unavailable man has fallen head over heels in love with you, he’s unlikely to describe it like that. He might not call it ‘love at first sight’ or tell you his heart yearns for you.

However, he might eventually he ‘loves’ the way you treat him or he’s falling in love with your smile. 

That’s something – and a big step for this guy. Perhaps he’ll start using ‘The L Word’ properly soon.   

What Happens When An Emotionally Unavailable Man Falls In Love?

When an emotionally unavailable man is in love, it’s still far from plain sailing for your relationship.

You may still have to deal with this guy being cold and mysterious. He may still refuse to commit to a long-term relationship.

You may even have to deal with him pulling away from you, only to return some time later. You can read my guide on Emotionally Unavailable Man Keeps Coming Back for more information on that problem.

With that said, you’ll begin to see a glimpse of the signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you. This is him trying to open his heart. At this point, it’s up to you to be patient, gain his trust, build the emotional intimacy in your relationship and provide the safe space for him to be vulnerable. 

In many cases, this requires you to be vulnerable with him in the same way that you hope he will.   

For more ideas on how to do this, see my guide on How To Get An Emotionally Unavailable Man To Chase You.

There’s also my guide on unlocking a man’s ‘Hero Instinct’. This is based on a concept by  relationship expert James Bauer and you can read it here

Any Questions About Emotionally Unavailable Men?

Thanks for reading my list of signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you. I hope this relationship advice proves to be useful.

Honestly, it’s not the ideal situation but I want you to know it is possible to ‘fix’ an emotionally unavailable guy by allowing him to become more comfortable around you. Just don’t expect it to happen overnight!

If you have any questions or final thoughts about emotionally unavailable men or you’d like to add to my list of signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you, please do leave a comment below. 

I’d like to keep talking about this topic – and it would be great to hear from you.

About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.