13 Hottest Sexual Surprises To Spice Up Your Relationship (2023)

Do you want to give a special sexual surprise to your partner? Are you out of original ideas? Don’t panic!  

Sexual Surprise
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This guide features 13 ideas for the hottest sexual surprises to excite your lover and spice up your relationship. 

In my role as a life coach, I am often helping clients build stronger romantic relationships with those closest to them. 

That’s why I’m excited to share this list of ideas with you. 

So, let’s dive in.

1. A New Sex Toy Can Be A Fun Surprise That Reignites Your Sex Life 

Sex toys aren’t just for masturbating. They can be enjoyed by couples as a sexy prop that can spice up their intercourse too.

As a man, you shouldn’t feel intimidated by these giant vibrating toys. Provided that you and your partner are getting on, these toys aren’t going to replace you. You can consider them as useful tools to ensure your special someone has even more fun with you in the bedroom. 

So, a new vibrator could be the sexy surprise needed to inject some excitement back into your sex life.

If you’re a woman, you’re better off focusing on your man’s pleasure. A vibrating cock ring could keep your man happy while providing you with some extra stimulation during intercourse.

You can buy sex toys discreetly online with super-fast delivery these days. The gesture itself can be enough to show that you care about keeping your sex life exciting for your partner.    

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2. Sexy Lingerie Can Spice Up Your Love Life, Especially If It’s A Surprise

Intimacy doesn’t always have to involve both partners being naked. In fact, a lot of men love it when their lover wears sexy lingerie for them.

Most lingerie can easily be donned as a sexy surprise underneath a woman’s normal outfit.

The classic move to surprise and seduce a man is to turn up unexpectedly, donning nothing but a trench coat, high heels, and some new lingerie underneath. If you’re in public, consider handing him a note telling what he’s in for once you get to bed.

The anticipation of undoing your trench coat and discovering what you’re wearing can be enough to drive him crazy with desire. 

Sensual lingerie isn’t just about exciting a man though. It can help a woman to feel sexy and more empowered to unleash some hot new sex moves in the bedroom. Sometimes, it takes that new level of sexual confidence to unlock the inner temptress living inside a woman.     

3. Role Play Can Add Some Excitement Back Into Your Relationship

When you’re in a long-term relationship, it’s reasonably normal for the excitement of sex to die down. There comes a point where nothing that your partner does surprises you – and vice-versa. Everything becomes predictable, which is comfortable in a sense. But comfortable isn’t sexy.

Role play is one solution to help you regain the excitement of sleeping with someone new, without having to cheat on your lover or leave the relationship. 

Perhaps you can spend a date night or an evening at home pretending to be someone completely different, then work on seducing each other all over again.

When you really commit to the role play, you might find that these new personas are more adventurous than the actors playing them. They might be more willing to engage in dirty talk or fun sex positions that you were previously too self-conscious to try as your real selves. 

Related Content: Most Creative Ways To Initiate Love-Making

4. Fancy Dress In The Bedroom Can Help You Both Live Your Fantasies

Fancy dress can add an extra level of excitement into your roleplaying that makes it feel as if your fantasies are coming true.

The first step is being brave enough to share what you’d like your partner to dress up as. Some people are too shy to speak up about this because they see it as taboo.  

A lot of men love their partners to wear a short skirt with pigtails and a white shirt like a schoolgirl, for example. Some want their lover to dress as their favorite movie character.

Women tend to like their partners dressing in traditionally masculine uniforms, such as a fireman or police officer.  

Still, if they don’t admit what they want, they’ll probably never get it served up as a sexual surprise.

So, do your significant other a huge favor and push them to reveal what they’d like you to dress as. 

5. Introducing Food In The Bedroom Can Be A Sexy Surprise That Satisfies Both Of You

After you’ve enjoyed dinner with your significant other, how about you surprise them by telling them that dessert is waiting in bed?

The insinuation is that you’re going to eat it off your partner’s body while caressing their erogenous zones with your mouth.  

Whipped cream is the classic ingredient for bedroom food play. Ice cream or chocolate sauce are other favorites. Warm honey could be a delicious alternative, while champagne might be just the treat if you’re feeling fancy.  

If you prefer healthy eating, strawberries, cherries or chopped bananas can work too. You might find that oral sex has never been so tasty. 

Related: My Sexless Marriage Is Killing Me: 16 Solutions

6. A New Position Can Be The Only Sexual Surprise Needed To Reignite Your Sex Life

There are plenty of classic sex positions that are easy to execute and feel amazing.

However, there’s only so many times you can try missionary, doggy-style or the reverse cowgirl position before they become a bit samey. 

The Karma Sutra has hundreds of different sex positions for you to try – and there are plenty of free online guides detailing the best positions too

If you get in the habit of trying different positions, you might find some fun sex moves that hit the spot in a way you’ve never experienced before. 

Anal sex is regarded as one of the sex moves that people either love or hate. Still, if you’ve never tried it before, it’s worth giving it a shot. It’s not as difficult as most men and women assume. You might be surprised by how much you like it.

A warning for guys though. Anal sex isn’t a surprise sex move that you try without asking. It requires some preparation, lube and consent from both partners.      

Related: Signs You & Your Partner Are Growing Apart & Solutions

7. Could BDSM Provide A Path For A Spicier Relationship?

BDSM stands for bondage, domination, submission and masochism. It’s essentially sex that involves one dominant partner restricting and/or causing pain to a submissive partner.

For a lot of people, a touch of BDSM is what turns good sex into great sex. Those who are heavily into it might see ‘making love’ traditionally as boring sex. 

Maybe you can test the waters by suggesting some vanilla sex moves like spanking or hair-pulling with some mild dirty talk. Then, perhaps you can move things forward from there. 

A lot of couples like to talk dirty during BDSM-play. However, the most important thing is staying on the same page as far as what both lovers want and don’t want. Most couples introduce a ‘safe word’ for when one person goes too far.

For inspiration on how far some people like to take their BDSM lifestyle, check out Fetlife; the NSFW social media website for kinksters.    

Related: Sexless Marriage: Dangerous Effects On Husband   

8. Watching Porn Together Can Provide Some Sexy Escapism

Watching pornography doesn’t have to be a shameful solo activity. It can provide inspiration for couples to add new fun sex moves to their repertoire. It can also help them explore some fantasies to act out together.

Sex Life
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That’s not it either. There are many women and men who get a lot of pleasure from watching other people have sex. Perhaps you or your partner are among them. 

The only way to find out is to suggest that you watch pornography together – and seeing how much you enjoy it.   

A quick tip to avoid conflict: if you suggest watching pornography with your lover, let them choose the exact video. This way, they’re less likely to feel insecure about you having a crush on one of the actors.   

Related: How Long Is Too Long Without Sex In A Relationship?: 9 Things To Consider

9. Perhaps You’re Feeling Adventurous Enough To Make Your Own Sex Tape?

We’re getting into more extreme kinks now, but having sex on camera is another act that brings some people a lot of pleasure.

If you’re both confident in your sexual prowess, you might find it fun to watch the movie next time you’re both feeling horny.

The biggest risk that comes with this idea is that the movie somehow gets into the wrong hands. That’s a nasty surprise, with consequences which potentially go way beyond the embarrassment of your friends and family members seeing you naked. You’ll need to weigh up the risk of this happening against the thrill of doing it.    

With that said, there are plenty of couples who get off on posting their amateur sex tapes online. If you like the idea of strangers seeing your naked body, perhaps this is a road you and your partner can go down, provided they’re interested in becoming an amateur porn star too. 

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Related: Clear Signs My Wife Is Not Attracted To Me & Turnaround Strategies

10. Have You Considered Investing In A Sexy Board Game?

Sexy board games and card games can work as prompts that encourage your to explore new kinks and sex moves.

The simplest game you can invest in is a pair of sex dice which include ‘truth or dare’ style prompts on each face.

‘Adult Loaded Questions’ is a card game which you can play with a group of open-minded friends or alone with your partner. Either way, you can learn a lot about each other’s intimate lives, which can potentially open up surprising new ideas for fun in the bedroom.   

The board game ‘Monogamy’ is a spin-off of Monopoly, which encourages “discovery on multiple levels”.

Related: Turnaround Strategies When The Intimacy Stops In A Relationship

11. Commit To Spending Extra Time On Foreplay And You Can Rediscover The Thrill Of Sex All Over Again

How much time did you spend on foreplay the last time you had sex? A big reason why sex becomes uninspiring (for women in particular) is that a lot of men like to rush through the foreplay and get straight to penetration.

A few seconds of foreplay can be enough to keep a man happy. If only he knew that this is rarely the case for women. 

To put an end to this bad habit, how about you force yourself to spend a specific amount of time on foreplay before you get to the real thing? Set a timer on your phone and commit to exploring every inch of your partner’s body. 

When you do this properly, you’ll find each other discovering innovative ways to arouse each other with your hands and mouth. You may find a whole new world of ways to express your sexual energy that doesn’t involve intercourse.

Often, you’ll break before the timer hits zero because you’re both too horny from the heavy petting to resist for any longer.  

Still, the point is you both made time to try new types of foreplay and get each other really excited for hot and steamy sex.

Related Content: Sexual Fasting: Benefits For Intimacy And Orgasm 

12. Sometimes Restricting Your Senses Can Be Just As Fulfilling

Earlier, I mentioned some sex toys that help men and women feel more stimulation during sex. These types of toys are incredibly popular all over the world. Once you try them, you probably won’t be surprised that this is the case.

However, it might surprise you how much pleasure you can obtain from accessories which restrict your senses. 

Have you tried blindfolding your partner during sex? How about trying their hands on the frame of the bed? This is said to stimulate the other senses including the sense of touch. Combine this with a vibrator for a whole new world of pleasure.

Blindfolds and ties can easily be made from a pair of socks, although they’re also available to buy from a sex shop, if you prefer.

Related: Real Reasons Why Your Wife Avoids Intimacy + Solutions

13. Initiate Surprise Sex Rather Than Being Predictable

Spontaneous sex is perhaps the most basic surprise on this list, but it’s an idea that a lot of couples could benefit from implementing.

It’s when sex becomes too much of a routine that the excitement disappears. 

Couples can get stuck in a rut and end up resorting to the same positions on the same day of the week with the same foreplay to initiate etc. There’s not the same sense of passion when that happens.

Is it possible for you to mix up morning sex and late-night romps? 

Could you give your partner the pleasant surprise of following them to the bathroom for a quick round of shower sex? 

Are you cheeky enough to pull down their trousers and treat them to some oral sex, while they’re preparing dinner? Do this to your man and he’ll offer to cook every night!

Are you bold enough to drag your special someone somewhere private for a sexual surprise in public? 

This isn’t necessarily about the practicality of having sex outside of a comfortable bed. It’s about injecting some passion into your relationship. The fact you even try to initiate such an act can be enough to keep your special woman or man happy, even if you don’t go through with it.   

Related Content: Disadvantages Of Having Sex Everyday


Surprising your partner is a great way to keep your relationship feeling fresh, so I hope you enjoyed my list of sexual surprises to help spice up your love life. 

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While it might be a bit much to surprise your partner every day, there’s nothing stopping you from trying something new every few months to keep things interesting.