Do you want to:
- Have more confidence
- Be kinder to yourself
- Stop comparing yourself to others
- And accept yourself exactly as you are?
Then you may want to consider hiring a self-love coach.
In this checklist, you’ll find everything you need to know about self love coaching.
Let’s get started.
1. What Is a Self Love Coach?
A self love coach is similar to a life coach, but they specialize in helping clients who struggle with issues related to lack of confidence and low self-esteem.
What most self love coaches have in common is that they, too, have struggled with self love in their lives.
Overcoming these issues helps them to empathize with their clients and offer guidance based on their experience.
What Is Self Love?
The term “self love” gets thrown around a lot in the wellness world these days, and it can easily lose its meaning.
What comes to mind when you hear “self love”? If you’re picturing bubble baths, naps, and chocolate, that’s only the tip of the iceberg.
While it’s nice (and important) to take care of yourself, true self love goes way beyond self-care.
Self love is about accepting every aspect of yourself — even those parts that you’ve learned to suppress or hide.
Why Is Self Love Important?
You need self love to thrive in life. Without healthy self love, you may experience:
- Mental health problems
- Self-sabotaging behavior
- Abusive relationships
- A feeling of lacking purpose in life
Self love empowers you to set healthy boundaries in your relationships and pursue your dreams with confidence.
It’s also important to love yourself because you can’t receive more love from others than you give yourself.
People who lack self love tend to look for it outside themselves, leading to unhealthy attachments.
Looking to the other to fulfill emotional needs can cause people to spend years in relationships that are, at best, unsuitable, and, at worst, abusive.
2. What Does a Self Love Coach Do?
Similar to a life coach, a self-love coach will help you to:
- Set goals
- Overcome any negative or limiting beliefs
- Shift your perspective
- Identify your strengths and weaknesses
- And take steps toward achieving your goals
The main difference is that, while a life coach would work on different aspects of your life to create change, a self love coach guides you in improving your self worth and sense of self. She will also help you to let go of the feeling of not being enough.
As a result of this inner work, you will see that your behavior naturally shifts in a way that aligns with what you truly want in life.
A self-love coach knows that everything you need is inside you — including all the love you’ll ever need — and will use self love coaching tools to help you access it.
3. Benefits of Self Love Coaching
Self love coaching can benefit any area of your life, but there are a few common problems that people who lack self-love often face. Here are three of the main benefits of self-love coaching.
1. Self-Love Gives You More Confidence
If you lack self-love, it’s likely that your inner self-talk (that “voice” that gives a running commentary inside your head) is predominantly negative, critical, and judgmental toward yourself and others.
These judgments and criticisms are often not based on facts, and yet we tend to cling on to them.
A self love coach will help you to release these beliefs and replace them with new, realistic, and more positive ideas.
Over time, you will gradually learn to recognize and correct negative thoughts as they arise. This will make you feel more confident and help you stop comparing yourself to others.
2. Self-Love Improves Your Relationships
People who lack self love often feel that they are less than others — less talented, less likable, less successful, and less worthy of love and success.
This can lead them to form unhealthy attachments and relationships and seek to solidify their identity and value through other people. They also look to others to fulfill all their emotional needs — including the love that they are unable to give themselves.
Self love also helps you set and maintain healthy boundaries in your relationships. While many people are afraid that setting boundaries may drive love away, in fact, the opposite is true, and you will receive more love and respect from others, not less.
When you love yourself, you have more clarity around what you are prepared to accept or not in a relationship and gives you the confidence to speak your truth, which facilitates clearer communication.
3. Self-Love Helps You Get Where You Want to Go
When you love yourself, you see yourself for who you truly are, with all your strengths, weaknesses, dreams, and desires — and you fully accept yourself.
Often, lacking self love means playing down your strengths, overemphasizing your weaknesses, and dismissing your dreams and desires as unrealistic and unobtainable.
When you can see and accept yourself, you recognize how your talents and abilities align with what you truly desire in your heart, and you have the confidence to go after your dreams and achieve your life goals.
4. Self Image Coach
A self image coach is a self love coach who specializes in helping clients with body image issues.
They understand that how you feel about your body has a huge impact on your quality of life, as well as your success in both work and relationships.
They work with both women and men to help you love and accept your body exactly as it is — without needing to change it first.
If you feel that your relationship with your body is holding you back in any way, a self image coach may be able to help you.
5. Self Love Mentor
If it’s not the right moment to start your self love coaching journey, you could start by finding a self love mentor instead.
This could be a person who you know who radiates self love and confidence and who would be willing to support you and show you how they maintain healthy levels of self love and confidence.
Another alternative could simply be to think of one or two celebrities whose confidence inspires you. Make a list of the things you admire about them.
How do you feel when you see them being unapologetically themselves? How could you follow their example in a way that would make you feel more confident and self-accepting?
Take some time to write down the answers to these questions, and keep them for reference.
This will help you break subconscious patterns by training your brain to think and behave in new and different ways.
6. Self Love Course
There are many self love tools and resources available online if you are interested in personal development.
The best self love course available on the market is Marisa Peer’s “I Am Enough”.
This transformational course is based on the premise that the belief that we are not enough is at the root of all our emotional issues and subconscious blocks.
Marisa has condensed her knowledge and experience of Rapid Transformational Therapy into this program.
It will help you permanently shift the belief that you are not enough and radically transform your life.
7. Self Love Coaching Questions
Learning to love yourself is an ongoing process — much like in a long-term relationship, you must keep falling in love with yourself over and over again to make it work.
This is where self-coaching can be useful. Below are 10 questions and prompts you can use as a regular self-love check-up.
For best results, write your answers in a journal and keep track of them over time.
- What are your five (or more) best qualities?
- What achievements are you most proud of?
- What have you learned from your past mistakes?
- When did you last take a risk? What happened?
- Write a love letter to your body thanking it for all it does for you.
- How would the people who love you describe you? Hint: if you don’t know, ask them!
- What would you do differently if you knew you were already enough?
- What are your needs in a relationship?
- What does your dream life look like?
- What do you really need to be happy?
8. How to Become a Self Love Coach
If you have been on your self love journey for a while now, perhaps you’re thinking about becoming a self love coach.
Life coaching is one of the most rewarding professions out there, and the industry is growing exponentially.
Entry barriers are low, making it easy to set up an online coaching business. However, I always recommend becoming a certified life coach before embarking on any coaching career.
As a self love coach, you will be an expert guide, helping your clients to regain their self worth. It is a big responsibility, so it’s important to get familiar with coaching protocols before working with clients.
Best Life Coaching Certification Programs
If you want to know more about self love coach training, check out my post on the best life coach certification programs.
9. How Do You Coach Self-Confidence?
In self love coaching, one of the most common issues your clients will need help with is self-confidence.
Coaching confidence requires a lot of time and patience because confidence issues usually have deep roots that often go all the way back to childhood.
Get your clients to see themselves objectively by challenging their negative beliefs and ideas about themselves. Ask them questions that get them to shift their perspective.
Ask them to rewrite their stories in new and more empowering ways and remind them frequently of these new narratives.
10. Coaching Someone With Low Self-Esteem
Self-Esteem Coaching Tools
If you have a client who is struggling with low self-esteem, here are two self-esteem coaching tools that you can use with them. Why not try them out on yourself first?
1. The Feelgood List
Ask your client to write a list every day in which they keep track of everything they do which makes them feel good about themselves. It doesn’t matter how small — even just smiling at a stranger in the street or listening to a friend talk about a problem can be enough.
Your client should relive the experience as they write, and review the notebook each night before going to bed. Over time, this will help them build more self-esteem.
2. Mirror Work
According to Louise Hay, mirror work is the most effective way to build self-esteem.
Guide your client to create the self-love affirmations that feel right for them. Then ask them to repeat these affirmations every day while looking at themselves in a hand mirror.
This will help reprogram their subconscious beliefs, replacing them with the new, positive ones.
11. Secret to Self-Love
The secret to self love is radical self-acceptance. This means accepting all parts of you — even the ones you consider less desirable.
Radical self-acceptance forms the basis on which to build a loving relationship with yourself.
Accepting yourself gives you the freedom to be kinder, more forgiving, and more loving towards yourself — even when you mess up.
Accepting yourself means accepting that you are an imperfect human. You will make mistakes and do things you’re not proud of, and when you do, you will be as kind and compassionate to yourself as you would to a friend or loved one.
Now I want to hear from you.
Did you enjoy this list? Is there anything you would add? Let me know in the comments.
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