151 Best Questions To Ask Before Marriage (2024)

Are you wondering what are the best questions to ask before marriage? 

Many of us ponder over this. In my role as a life coach, this is a query I’ve dealt with a few times.

This is why I decided to create this epic list of 151 questions to ask before marriage. 

Let’s dive right into it.

Questions To Ask Before Marriage
Photo by Lauren Richmond on Unsplash

151 Questions To Ask Before Marriage For Men And Women  

A marriage should be designed to last forever. For that reason, it really is a great idea to know every aspect of your partner’s personality before you tie the knot.

What are their hopes and aspirations for their career and their life? What are the important events that shaped their past?

What are their views on parenting, politics and running a home together? Do they even want kids? What are their expectations of marriage? What does the perfect marriage look like to them? 

Of course, these are broad questions. The list below will help you discover all you need to know about the person you’re in a relationship with.

Questions To Ask About Marriage And The Wedding

  1. Do you want to get married one day? 
  2. Why do you want to be married? 
  3. What do you think of the idea that marriage is outdated? 
  4. How long should a couple live together for before getting married? 
  5. Do you feel ready for marriage, or is it too early? 
  6. Do you feel like there’s a rush to get married? Why?
  7. Do you feel like some people could rush into marriage too early?
  8. For how long would you want to be engaged before marriage?  
  9. Do you think it’s important for a woman to change her surname after marriage? 
  10. What type of wedding do you want to have?
  11. How many people would you like to attend your wedding?
  12. What’s your idea of a romantic wedding?
  13. How important is it that we have a ‘fancy’ wedding?
  14. How important is it that we have a ‘fancy’ honeymoon?
  15. Would you be willing to compromise on your dream wedding to save money?  
  16. Would you consider getting married overseas?
  17. How do you plan on funding a wedding?
  18. Do you believe it’s sensible to go into debt to fund a wedding?
  19. Why do you think many couples end up in stale marriages? What’s the best way to avoid this? 
  20. What do you think are the main reasons couples get divorced? How are we going to overcome these hurdles?
  21. Should married life always be romantic?
  22. How important are romantic gestures in a marriage? 
  23. Will you sign a prenuptial agreement?
  24. What do you consider cheating? Can cheating be non-physical?
  25. Do we recover well when we hurt each other’s feelings? How can we do better?
  26. In what circumstances is it appropriate for a married couple to break-up?
  27. Do we have reasonable expectations of what marriage is like? Are there any questions we can ask our friends? 

Questions To Ask About The Future

  1. Do you want children in the future?
  2. Why do you want kids?
  3. How many children do you want?
  4. Have you picked out children’s names already? 
  5. How do you plan to spend your retirement years? 
  6. Where would you like to live in the future? The countryside? A big city? A different country? 
  7. In what type of house would you like to live in the future?  
  8. Do you plan on travelling in the future? Where do you want to go?
  9. How important is it that we go on regular holidays? 

Questions To Ask About Running A Home

  1. How well do I currently fit in your day-to-day life? How could I fit in better?
  2. Are you happy with how the household chores are assigned? 
  3. Are you happy with your car? Would you ever invest in a better one? 
  4. Do we need a car each?
  5. Would you ever consider getting a pet? 
  6. What type of pet would you want?
  7. How important is it that we eat good food every day?  
  8. How often do you like to reward yourself with fancy restaurant meals?
  9. Is it important that we eat dinner together?  
  10. Who should do most of the cooking?
  11. Should the man be head of the household when it comes to making decisions? 

Questions To Ask About Money & Career Ambitions

  1. Are you happy with your job? 
  2. Do you plan on changing your career one day?
  3. Would you support me if I wanted to quit my job? 
  4. Is your career more important than family?
  5. Would you sacrifice your career to save your marriage?
  6. How would you react if I thought we weren’t spending enough time together? 
  7. What are your long-term career goals? 
  8. How much money do you earn per year? 
  9. Do you have a pension? How much do you invest into it? 
  10. When do you plan on retiring?
  11. What are your financial goals?
  12. Would you consider being a stay-at-home parent? 
  13. Would you like it if I was a stay-at-home parent?
  14. Should we have a shared bank account? 
  15. How should marital finances be budgeted?   
  16. Should one or both of us be in charge of the marital budget?
  17. How would your life change if you won the lottery? 
  18. Are you in debt? 
  19. How are you planning to pay back your debt? 
  20. Are you comfortable taking on my debt?
  21. How would we react if one of us lost our job? Are we ready for that type of financial hit?
  22. Is there any financial topic we need to learn more about?
  23. Why do you think money causes conflict so often between spouses?
  24. How would we handle conflict over one person spending too much money?
  25. Do we earn enough money to raise a child?
  26. What are our plans to raise the household income?      

Sex & Relationship Questions

  1. How could we improve our relationship? 
  2. Do you think there’s any stumbling blocks in our relationship we need to address before getting married?
  3. Have you ever been romantically jealous?   
  4. Do you have any romantic insecurities?
  5. Do you believe in unconditional love? 
  6. What were the reasons you broke up with previous partners? How can we avoid these problems? 
  7. What were the lessons you learned from previous relationships? 
  8. Do you find yourself thinking about your ex a lot?
  9. Do you think there’s a way we can improve our sex life?
  10. Do we have enough conversations about our sex life? 
  11. Would you be comfortable raising concerns about our sex life?
  12. How important is physical intimacy in a long-term relationship? 
  13. How would you react if my sex drive dropped? 
  14. How would we react if your sex drive dropped?
  15. Have you ever experienced a traumatic sexual moment? How has it affected you?
  16. Do you feel willing to sleep with one person for the rest of your life? 
  17. Do you see any kind of sexual experimentation in our future? 
  18. Would you ever consider polygamy or an open relationship?
  19. Would you ever consider swinging?
  20. Are you worried about your looks fading with old age? 
  21. How important is it that we remain looking good as we get older?
  22. Would you consider getting plastic surgery in the future? 
  23. How do you feel about me getting plastic surgery in the future?
  24. How important is it that we both keep a healthy weight? 
  25. How do you plan on staying on maintaining a healthy weight as you get older?             
  26. Would you still love me if I lost a body part?
  27. Who is your best friend? How important is it that we get on? 
  28. How important are your family and friends’ opinions of me?
  29. Are you happy with our current method of contraception? Would you consider changing it? 
  30. Can a relationship ever be perfect?

Health Questions

  1. Do you have any chronic health conditions I should know about?
  2. Do you have life insurance?
  3. Do you have health insurance or dental insurance?
  4. Does your family have a history of a certain health problem?
  5. Do you have any addictions, or have you in the past?
  6. Do you have any mental health problems, or have you in the past?
  7. Would you be willing to support me in overcoming a mental health problem or addiction?
  8. Do you have a will?
  9. Have you ever been seriously overweight? How did it affect your relationship?
  10. Are you planning to lose or put on weight?  

Questions To Ask About Family and Raising Children

  1. Do you think we’d make good parents? 
  2. Do you feel ready to have children?
  3. When do you want to have children?
  4. Is it important to wait until we have the finances to raise children? 
  5. Is there any reason you wouldn’t be able to conceive a child naturally?
  6. What options would you consider if we couldn’t conceive a child naturally? 
  7. Do you want your first child to be a boy or a girl?
  8. What is the key to a happy family?    
  9. If we had an unwanted pregnancy, how would we deal with it? Would you want to keep the baby?
  10. If our baby was found to be disabled, would you want to keep it?
  11. How important is it to keep in regular touch with extended family?
  12. How important are the opinions of your extended family?
  13. What family members are essential to visit during Christmas or other holidays?  
  14. When making an important decision, do you consider your parents’ opinion? 
  15. Do you think it’s possible for family members to be too intrusive? Where are the boundaries?
  16. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
  17. How did your parents break-up affect your views on marriage (if they did).
  18. How have your break-ups affected your views on relationships? 
  19. What did your parents teach you about raising kids?  
  20. Is it important that my family likes you?
  21. Do you have close friends of the opposite sex? Is it a problem if I do?
  22. How would you react if I thought you were spending too much time with another person?
  23. How important is it that we have the same religious beliefs?
  24. Do you want your kids to have the same religious beliefs as you?
  25. Is it important for partners to have the same political beliefs?
  26. How strong are your political beliefs?  
  27. If we had different political opinions, do you believe that would tear us apart?
  28. What values did your family teach you? 
  29. What family values would you teach our children?
  30. How important is alone time away from the family?
  31. Would you be willing to give up hobbies to spend more time together?
  32. Would you consider a child’s feelings when making major life decisions?
  33. How do you think children would affect our marriage?

Miscellaneous Questions

  1. Do you have any secret bad habits I should know about? 
  2. Are you comfortable being alone, or do you rely on me to have fun?  
  3. What kind of wedding ring is your favorite?
  4. Do you feel like conflict is invevitable in married life? Are we ready to deal with it?
  5. Do you have any questions to ask before getting married? 

Any Comments? 

I hope you enjoyed my list of questions to ask before marriage. It was fun to create.

Marriage is a roller-coaster, but conversations with these questions will help you feel better-prepared for married life.

If you’d like to add other important questions to ask before getting married, feel free to suggest some in the comments section below.

It’d be great to hear from you.

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About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.