How To Stop Caring About Someone: 13 Strategies That Work (2024)

Want to learn how to stop caring about someone who doesn’t care about you? This guide features 13 effective strategies to help you.

In my role as a life coach, I’m often helping people to increase their sense of self-love and make beneficial decisions for their long-term future. 

That’s why I’m keen to share this guide with you. 

So, let’s dive in.  

Why Is It So Hard To Stop Caring About Someone?

When you cared about someone deeply, it’s not always easy to switch these feelings off, no matter what this person did to you.

The memories of the good times and the strong feelings you used to have remain inside you. Most likely, you’ll feel a longing for these feelings to continue.

This will fade with time, but only if you take steps to move on. If you don’t spend time creating your own happiness without this person, you’ll continue to long for their presence in your life.

Below, you find a list of steps to help you move on, create happiness and stop caring about this person.   

How To Stop Caring About Someone You Love

The more of these steps you take, the quicker you’ll begin to forget about this person. 

1. Accept That You’re Sad

If you’re sad about losing someone, a great first step is to accept that you’re in pain. Take a day or so to mourn them and cry about it. This process will bring great inner peace once you’re done.

When you refuse to accept your own feelings, you end up carrying them subconsciously. This emotional baggage can harm your mental health and even cause physical ailments. Often, this suppressed pain comes out months later in a breakdown.

As such, it’s not a great idea to pretend you don’t care about someone when you still do.  

How To Stop Caring About Someone
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2. Find Ways To Increase Your Self-Esteem

When you continue to reminisce over a past lover or friend, it’s often due to fear that you’ll never find someone as great as them again.

People with high self-esteem don’t tend to think that way. This list of low self-esteem solutions could therefore help you on your mission to feel confident and stop caring about this person.    

3. Accept That This Person Is Wrong For You

When a romantic relationship or friendship ends, it’s common for one member to question whether they were too hasty to give up on that person. This can happen even when the relationship was objectively a bad fit.

People look back at bad relationships with rose-tinted glasses, when they’re feeling lonely or unsatisfied with single life.

If you’re guilty of this, it’s worth writing down all the negative emotions you experienced in that relationship. Once you can logically accept that this person was bad for you, it becomes easier to stop caring about them. 

4. Realize That They’re Replaceable

TV shows and movies love to promote the idea of soulmates and ‘one true love’. In reality, there is more than one human being who can make you feel the same feelings as this person.

Here’s an exercise to help you see that. Write down a list of all the things that made you care about this person.  Do it alongside the list of negative feelings you felt alongside them.

Now, consider how many people there are in this world who have these same qualities.

Your fear might be finding someone with positive qualities who wants you. If that’s the case, let me direct you to my list of low self-esteem solutions once again.

5. Cut Ties And Stop All Contact 

The phrase “out of sight, out of mind” is true. Stop calling this person. Stop messaging them. Unfollow their social media accounts. Get rid of all photos and momentos. Maybe even consider cutting ties with your past mutual friends. It’s for your own well being.   

6. Focus On The Future

Once you’ve accepted that this person won’t and shouldn’t be in your life anymore, focus on how you’re going to progress without them. A solid action plan for what you’re going to do with your life will help you to stop dwelling on the past. 

7. Spend More Time With Friends And Family

This will not only bring you extra happiness, but it’ll remind you how you deserve to be treated by people in your life.

In an abusive or toxic relationship, your partner will often try to stop you spending time with these people, so you forget this. 

8. Focus On Your Mission

If you’re now without a lover or best friend and have nothing else going on in your life, it’s natural that your mind will wander to thoughts of your past relationship.

When you have a life mission more important than any specific person, it becomes easier to stop caring about those who aren’t good for your life.  

9. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness exercises are great to stop your mind wandering as you’re going about your everyday life. Meditation is one of the most popular exercises, but there are more. For inspiration, see this list of proven ways to empty your mind

10. Make The Most Of Your New-Found Free Time

It’s time to start putting yourself first. Maybe there’s a new hobby you always wanted to try. Perhaps you’ll choose to progress in your career, indulge in some self-care activities or start an online side-hustle. 

Either way, keeping busy is a key step to help you forget about people who caused pain in your life.

11. Level Up

Perhaps you’ll use the time to engage in some personal development to level up and attract a better person into your life. That’s one of the most powerful ways to forget about a previous relationship. 

In my personal experience, I’ve noticed that a broken heart often gives people the emotional leverage needed to escape their comfort zone and level up in life. I wrote about this in my guide titled: Getting Over A Breakup Is A Chance – Get Over Your Ex Fast. 

12. Stop Focusing On ‘What Ifs’ 

This is rarely any benefit to looking back and wondering ‘what if’. The situation is in the past now. You can’t change it. Thinking about it only creates negative feelings.

13. Step Outside The Situation And Look At It Logically 

Why would you spend precious time caring about someone who doesn’t care about you? Why would you want to be friends with someone who doesn’t desire your friendship? Why would you love someone who doesn’t feel the same way? No-one with self-respect would do these things.

Yes, you probably wish you didn’t feel this way anymore. Yes, it’s a process to get over someone who hurt you.

But these logical questions can help you snap out of your funk and start focusing on your own life. 

Stop Caring About Someone
Photo by Abigail Keenan on Unsplash

Frequently Asked Questions

Let’s round off the article with the answers to some frequently asked questions on this topic.

How To Stop Caring About Someone Who Ignores You

The best solution is to fill your life with epic experiences and friends who do care about you. In this case, you might not even realize that a specific person is ignoring you, let alone care. 

If you don’t have a life like that yet, maybe it’s time to start engaging in new hobbies or getting out there to meet new people. 

How To Stop Caring About Someone Who Treats You Badly

Realize how you deserve to be treated. Once you do, it’ll be difficult to respect or have feelings for anyone who mistreats you.

How To Stop Caring About Someone You See Everyday

It can be difficult. When you lay your eyes upon them, it’s common that your old feelings may rush back and that can hurt. If it’s unfeasible to avoid them, the tips in the guide above should still help. A good first step is to logically realize how silly it is to care about someone who doesn’t care about you.  

How To Stop Caring About Someone Who Doesn’t Love You

It’s not easy to overcome a broken heart. A great first step is to accept that it’s not going to happen with this person. From there, focus on taking steps to create a great life as a singleton. With time, you’ll feel ready to start mingling with potential new lovers.

How To Stop Caring About Someone Who Hurt You

Are they asking for forgiveness? Are they taking steps to show they still care about you? If so, perhaps it’s best to accept their apology and move forward. If not, the tips in this guide will help you to forget this person.

How Do I Stop Caring In A Relationship?

The point of relationships is to care and show love for each other. 

If you’re in a relationship with someone not showing their feelings for you, it’s best to get out of it. If they’re a good partner, but you feel the need to hide your feelings, you’re probably still carrying pain from your past relationships.

In such a case, it’s worth exploring this potential trauma, perhaps with the assistance of a therapist or a life coach.   

Any Questions?

Thanks for reading my list of fundamental things to do when relationships end and you want to stop caring about someone.

This isn’t an easy process, so don’t feel inadequate if you’re struggling to get over a former loved one. At the same time, don’t refrain from telling yourself it’s about time you moved on.   

The most important thing is realizing you deserve to surround yourself with people who care about you. You deserve to be loved! Don’t ever forget that.

If you have a question or would like to share some final thoughts on this topic, feel free to leave a comment. 

Don’t feel guilty about sharing your thoughts! I’d love to hear them. 

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About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.