How To Not Be Horny: 21 Powerful Ways (2022)

Are you trying to figure out how not to be horny? This guide features 21 powerful ideas to dampen your sexual desire.

How To Not Be Horny
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In my role as a life coach, I am often helping clients better understand themselves and those around them. 

That’s why I’m excited to share this guide with you.

So, let’s dive in. 

Is It Bad To Be Horny?

A lot of people are taught from a young age that it’s shameful to experience sexual urges. Perhaps an adult forced their religious beliefs about sex on you. Maybe this happened naturally as part of a sexually conservative culture you grew up in.

Could it be that you suffered a traumatic sexual experience that made you consider sex as a bad thing? Sexual assault can make you feel this way, but so could being scolded by your parents for playing with yourself at a young age.

If you want to continue believing that sexual desires are shameful, that’s up to you.

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However, the fact remains that sexual arousal is a completely common and natural sensation for men and women. 

Maybe you agree with this, but you think you’re too horny too often. 

Indeed, if your sexual urges leave you unable to focus, it would make sense that you’re after techniques to help you stop being horny. If your constant arousal is leading you towards bad life decisions, that’s another good reason to learn how to curb your horniness.

How To Not Be Horny: 21 Powerful Ways To Curb Your Sexual Desire

Below, you’ll find my list of 21 strategies for how to stop being horny. The most obvious ideas are placed towards the top of this list, while there are more obscure solutions towards the bottom. 

I’d recommend you keep an open mind as you read through the full list and write down the ideas you feel are most likely to aid your individual situation. 

1. Have Sex

Sexual intercourse is the natural way to satisfy your sexual urges. So, if you have a loving partner, go at it! There are plenty of physical and mental health benefits to having regular sex. In most cases, you can expect it to strengthen your relationship too.

Of course, not everyone has access to regular sex. Not everyone wants to have sex all the time. Feeling horny isn’t always a great reason to have sex with just anyone.

That’s why there are 20 more techniques to help you stop being horny on this list.

Related Content: Most Creative Ways To Initiate Love-Making 

2. Improve Your Sex Life

If the quality of your sex leaves you unsatisfied, it’s common that you’ll still feel horny after it’s finished. If you didn’t orgasm, it could be that you feel more horny!

The obvious solution is to talk about this with your sexual partner and find ways to improve.

This conversation can cause problems in your relationship if it’s not handled in a loving and sensitive manner.

To avoid embarrassing your partner, it’s usually best to tell them your sex life is great, but that you’d like to explore how to make it even better! 

Related Content: Effective Tips: How To Be A Better Lover

3. Escape The Sexual Tension

A sexual urge is usually triggered by something.

The most common scenario is someone flirting with you. 

To stop being horny in this situation, you can step away from this person, tell them to stop or do something unsexy to break the tension.

Telling them to stop is the most transparent option and therefore the most recommended.

4. Masturbate

Masturbation is the next most obvious way to relieve sexual tension if you don’t have a partner.

Pornography can mess with your dopamine system and potentially exacerbate a sexual addiction. So, if you can learn to masturbate without watching porn, that’s recommended.   

5. Exercise

Physical activity helps to divert your blood flow away from your genitals back towards other parts of your body.

It also helps refocus your mind away from whatever was making you feel horny in the first place.

It is suggested that regular exercise helps you to develop a high libido because it helps to improve blood flow and boost testosterone.

But not exercising has far worse consequences for your body than the occasional sexual urge. Plus, it reduces your short-term horniness in most cases. 

So, if you’re feeling horny, perhaps you can use this as motivation to hit the gym. It’s difficult to think about oral sex while struggling with deadlifts.  

6. Shock Yourself With A Short Sharp Burst Of Pain

A short sharp burst of pain can refocus your brain away from your sexual thoughts towards other parts of the body.

I’m not talking about serious self-harm here. Flicking a rubber band against your wrist or burning the tips of your fingers should suffice. Some guys flick their testicles, although this won’t be appropriate in the company of others.

7. Take A Cold Shower

A cold shower is another traditional way to shock yourself out of horniness, although this won’t always be practical either. Similarly to regular exercise, a cold shower brings an uncomfortable sensation that’s good for your body in the long run, so this might be your best option if you have time for it.    

8. Keep Your Mind Busy

When your brain is occupied with urgent or enjoyable tasks, it’s less likely to distract you with sexual thoughts.

Meanwhile, if you’re always bored at home alone, your mind is more likely to desire stimulation from other means, such as eating, smoking, watching porn or other vices. 

Scrolling social media isn’t the most productive way to keep your brain occupied, especially when you’re trying to reduce your horniness.

If you’re a young guy, the algorithms of Instagram, TikTok and more will direct you towards sexually suggestive content, because it knows this will fire up your dopamine receptors and keep you on the platform for longer.    

9. Spend Time With Your Close Friends And Family

This is one of the easiest and most wholesome ways to distract yourself from constant horniness. Indeed, spending time with a person you really care about can reduce your stress level and increase your enjoyment of life.

Of course, the exception to this rule is if you’re spending time with a man or woman, you really want to have sex with. It’s best to stay away from your crush if you’re trying to stop being horny.   

10. Meditate

Meditation is the practice of escaping your thoughts and focusing on the present moment. There are many meditation techniques available, but the simplest is sitting in silence focusing on your breathing for 10-20 minutes. Some people prefer meditative chanting while listening to relaxing music. 

When you do this, your mind will inevitably lose focus and shift back to your thoughts. Don’t get frustrated or judge yourself when this happens. Just shift your focus back onto your breathing. 

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Frequent meditators find themselves with lower stress levels and more able to remain in the present moment, instead of being stuck in their own thoughts. 

This could be a good practice to adopt to help reduce any type of unwanted thought patterns, then. 

11. Adopt Other Exercises To Focus Your Mind

Meditation isn’t the only exercise to improve your presence and mindfulness. Grounding techniques or Wim Hof breathing can be useful to help maintain your concentration too. See my list of 11 proven ways to empty your mind for more ideas.  

12. Think Unsexy Thoughts 

You can think unsexy thoughts for an instant lower libido.

Picking up dog poop from the pavement. The smell of mouldy food rotting in the fridge. Danny DeVito dancing in a bikini. Let your mind run wild and see what you come up with.

A lot of guys adopt this tactic to stop themselves from climaxing too quickly during sex. Maybe if you’re a woman you didn’t know that!

13. Face Your Trauma

A lot of people’s addictions stem from the desire to run away from unwanted thoughts.

Some people turn to alcohol to distract themselves from trauma, anxiety or feelings of unworthiness. Others rely on drugs or gambling.

Perhaps that’s what’s driving your addiction to porn or sexual gratification?

The best way to overcome these types of addiction is to face your trauma and process whatever thought you’re running away from.

This isn’t easy at all, which is why it’s recommended to work with a certified therapist to help you.  

14. Your Medication Might Be Affecting Your Sexual Drive

It’s worth consulting with your doctor if you are on any form of regular medication. A lot of medications are well-known for lowering your libido, including anti-depressants, statins and opioids.

However, there are some that could make you more horny. The most common types associated with this are those taken in hormone replacement therapy.

15. Your Contraception Can Mess With Your Sex Drive Too

Most female contraceptions can affect your menstrual cycle and overall hormonal balance, which can have a impact on your desire for sex one way or the other. You can learn more about this from your doctor too.

16. Cut Out Drugs And Alcohol 

Again, this can go one way or the other. Drinking too much alcohol can give some men erectile dysfunction and inspire others to desire sex with any willing woman.

Most recreational drugs can increase the pleasure recieved during sex and other fun activities, as well as lowering your inhibitions so you desire it more.   

Most of these drugs will cause serious health issues if you over-indulge for long enough, so it’s worth quitting whether they affect your sexuality or not.

17. Avoid Aphrodisiac Food

Aphrodisiac food increases your sexual drive. Pomegranetes, figs, dark chocolate, almonds, chilli peppers and strawberries are all considered aphrodisiacs. While these foods won’t have as much impact on your sex drive as Viagra (for example), it can help to stop eating them.  

18. Direct Your Sexual Energy Elsewhere 

There are several breathing techniques and physical exercises for transmuting your sexual energy. Search for “sexual transmutation” guides online to learn about them.

These exercises are used to make tantric sex last for hours without a man feeling the need to orgasm, but they can also be used to bypass constant arousal during your day-to-day existence. The key for the latter is to dive straight into another passion which requires energy, after completing the transmutation exercises.

19. Speak To A Mental Health Expert

We have spoken about sexual behavior as a means of escaping from trauma, but your constant desire for sexual activity could also stem from mental health problems or even a serious mental illness.

Mental Health Expert
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Bipolar disorder is one example of a serious issue that can cause uncontrollable desires for sexual pleasure. These are symptoms of dementia or Alzheimer’s disease too.

These are extreme explanations that won’t apply to most people, but there’s nothing wrong with talking to a mental health expert just in case.  

20. Read Up On The Benefits Of NoFap

I already mentioned masturbation as a short-term solution to help you stop feeling horny. However, a commonly recommended long-term solution is to stop masturbating forever.

There is a huge online community spreading ideas around masturbation being bad for your mental health and the benefits of engaging in ‘NoFap’. It should be mentioned that there is little scientific evidence to support these ideas, but if you’re desparate to stop being horny all the time, it could help to engage with this community and consider their theories.

Many people in the ‘NoFap’ community tell stories of having fully controlled their urges after a certain period of refraining from masturbating (or all sexual activity, in some cases). It would appear you can expect to feel even more sexually frustrated until you reach this point of mental reset though. 

Most of the NoFap community are men, although you should be able to find information on the benefits for a woman too.  

21. Your Sexual Desire Will Die Down Naturally Over Time

Horniness varies in most people. However, the one certainty is that it will drop over time.

In most cases, your horniness will peak in your teen years due to the effects of puberty. Indeed, it’s considered somewhat normal that a teenage boy thinks about the opposite sex all the time and can’t stop watching porn. 

Yes, it’s completely normal for teenage boys and young men to get erections through the day by the way, even if they’re not horny. If you’re ‘suffering’ from random boners, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have a sexual problem.

A teenage girl may well feel just as horny as her male counterparts as her body develops, although not always on the same level and she may explore her sexuality in other ways.

At the start of a relationship, it’s also considered normal to want sex all the time. It’s usually suggested that there’s nothing wrong with that, as it stems from a deep lust for this new person.

However, as you age and your relationship matures, it completely normal for your sex drive to drop.

So, the most permanent solution to always being horny could be to let time take its course. 

In an ideal world, you’ll be in a relationship where your sex drives are matched. This is something it’s important for couples to talk about without shame at any time. Sex and your feelings surrounding it shouldn’t ever be kept a secret in a relationship. 

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Any More Questions On How Not To Be Horny?

Thanks for reading my guide on how not to be horny.

If you have any questions on this topic, feel free to leave a comment in the box below. 

It would be great to hear from you.