How To Control A Man’s Mind – Is It Possible?

There are a lot of online articles explaining how to control a man’s mind. 

Indeed, there are also a lot of people asking Google how to do this. 

But I’m going to approach this topic from a slightly different angle. 

In this post, I’ll explore whether it’s actually possible to control the mind of men – and whether you would even want to use mind control on a partner…

As an experienced life coach, I’d like to consider myself well-versed on the topic of male psychology and the use of mind controlling strategies in personal relationships.  

So, in the article below, we’ll explore the use of mind control and discuss whether this is the right way to find love.  

How To Control A Man's Mind
source: (Victoria Volkova)

How can I control my man without him knowing?

I did a quick Google search for ‘How To Control A Man’s Mind’ and many of the articles do little more than suggest how to make a man like you.

They’re not all bad.

Perhaps it’s even the right move to ‘play hard to get’ or ‘reward good behaviour’, but I wouldn’t label this as ‘controlling a man’s mind’.

Funnily enough, all the articles boasting of ‘secret psychological tricks’ directed me towards expensive online courses or books.

Now, I couldn’t possibly label these websites as scams without having had the opportunity to get the products and use the suggested mind control tactics.  

So, let me say this. 

It is possible to manipulate people’s thoughts and actions in a relationship without them realising what’s going on.

See these articles on gaslighting and BPD manipulation techniques for examples. 

However, you should know that these techniques rarely work on emotionally healthy men – and they definitely don’t lead to happy loving relationships.

These psychological tricks are marketed to insecure women, who don’t feel like they can keep a good man using conventional means.  

But they absolutely can!

With that said, we’ll use the rest of this article to explore how to make a man fall in love with you, without having to use deceptive mind control techniques.  

How to make him fall in love with you

How To Control A Man’s Mind

I could start by listing a ton of qualities that men want in a partner, such as:

  • a beautiful smile; 
  • a healthy body shape;
  • self-confidence;
  • femininity; 
  • positivity; 
  • a sense of humour;
  • similar hobbies and interests.

The list goes on…and you should absolutely want to make an effort to develop these qualities.

It’ll do plenty to make a man want to get to know you.  

But none of these qualities will get a man to fall in love with you.

A man falls in love when you create an emotional connection with him. 

Control A Man's Mind
source: (frank mckenna)

How do I create an emotional connection? 

A strong emotional connection is the key to ensuring the man you want thinks about you all the time.

When you create a strong emotional connection, you give him something unique.

You give him something more desirable than a woman with all the attractive qualities listed above.

This is how to become the woman he really wants. 

So, how do you do it?

Well, it’s not quick and it’s not easy…

You need to take the time to learn as much as you can about each other. 

This means you need to open up.

You need to make yourself vulnerable.

You need to talk about things you’re scared to tell other people.

Childhood stories.

Adulthood dreams.

Your deepest fears.

Your biggest regrets in life. 

You might feel the need to hold back.

You might want to filter yourself.

You might even want to lie about your past.

Don’t do it.

Open up and be vulnerable.

Find a way to get as personal as possible.   

This is difficult because you’re trusting him with your emotions.

When this trust is betrayed, the healing process is long and painful.

You’re taking risks when you open up like this.

It’s scary, but it’s necessary.

If you’ve had your heart broken, you may want to put up walls and forego vulnerability.

That’s completely natural.

But, by doing so, you block the path to a strong emotional connection.

When you do, you become nothing more than the next attractive woman.

Is that what you want?     

By showing vulnerability, you encourage him to be vulnerable too.

When he is, make sure to listen intently.

Take the time to really understand the mind of man in front of you, empathise, ask questions, show you care.

By doing so, you will gain his trust also.

Make sure to take care of it. 

This mutual trust creates a powerful emotional connection and leads to the feelings we call ‘love’.

This love is powerful.

It’s sacred.

If you keep it burning strong, it’ll make him want you more than even the most beautiful, kind, funny woman.     

Mind Control
source: (NeONBRAND)

How do you make him obsess over you?

Obsession’ is another promise made by the dating experts flogging their mind control products.

The question is: do you really want this? 

Women want different things from their man in a loving relationship, but ‘obsessive behaviour’ is rarely on that list.

An emotionally healthy woman would usually be turned off if a man was ‘obsessed’ with her.

It’s a clear sign that he suffers from low self-esteem, codependency and a lack of other things that bring joy to his life.  

The only woman who would conceivably want this is one who also suffers from these problems. 

If you are really looking for a man to obsess over you, I’d urge you to explore why you feel this way.

In many cases, you’d be well advised to get help finding happiness as a single woman, before you seek a relationship. 

How do you win a difficult man’s heart?

In many cases, the man you want won’t open up to you.

For sure, even men get emotionally damaged by a broken heart, a tough upbringing or a traumatic experience.  

All you can do in this situation is open up, be vulnerable with him and encourage him to do the same. 

Be patient.

It might take a bit longer to win his trust, but it is possible.

However, at some point, you may have to ask yourself: is he the right partner for you? 

As sad as it is to say, some women are better off seeking love elsewhere, rather than trying to fix an emotionally distant man.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking this difficult man is the best you can get.

In a loving relationship, emotional vulnerability should always be reciprocated.   

(I’d argue that mind control isn’t going to be much use in this situation either).  

Control His Mind
source: (Justin Groep)

I’d love to hear about your experiences with mind control in relationships…

Have you experienced a partner trying to control your mind in relationships?

Maybe you’ve tried to use mind control yourself? 

If so, I’d love to hear about your experience. 

Leave a comment below!

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About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.