21 Ways How To Be Patient In A Relationship (2024)

It’s no secret!

Relationships take a lot of work. For a relationship to be successful, it takes more than love. There needs to be proper communication, trust, respect, attraction, and reflectiveness.

And that’s not all!

You also need to have patience. Without patience, you will find yourself constantly arguing with your partner and never getting anywhere.

In this article, we will discuss 21 ways how to be patient in a relationship.

Here’s what you’ll learn:

Let’s get right into it!

What is Patience?

Patience is being able to remain calm and controlled during challenging situations. It’s the ability to wait without getting angry or frustrated.

It’s also having the willingness to keep going, even when things are tough.

Why is Patience Important in a Relationship?

There are many reasons why patience is vital in a relationship.

Primarily, it’s essential for a healthy relationship. How can you expect the relationship to last if you can’t be patient with your partner?

Secondly, patience allows you to maintain control during difficult times. This is very important because if you lose your temper, things will only get worse.

Patience also allows you to understand your partner better. When you’re patient, you take the time to learn about your partner, resulting in more profound connections.

Lastly, patience can help improve your relationship. When you’re more patient, your partner is likely to respond positively. This will then lead to a happier and healthier relationship.

Now that you know why patience is essential in a relationship, let’s look at ways to be patient.

How to be patient in a relationship

How to Be Patient in a Relationship

#1. Begin with Yourself (Practice Patience in Everyday Life)

If you can’t be patient with yourself, how can you expect to be patient with others?

Start by developing patience in your everyday life. This will help prepare you for difficult situations that may come up in a relationship.

And it doesn’t have to be the big things.

You could start by simply being patient when waiting for the elevator to open. Refrain from continuously pressing the button. Or, practice patience when you’re stuck in traffic. Instead of becoming frustrated, try to relax and enjoy the ride.

By practicing patience in everyday situations, you will be better prepared for challenging moments in a relationship.

Practicing patience also means being patient with yourself. Accept that you will make mistakes and don’t be too hard on yourself.

When you’re patient with yourself, you’ll find it easier to be patient with others.

#2. Lower Your Expectations

One of the biggest reasons people tend to be impatient in relationships is high expectations. Lowering your expectations is one of the easiest ways of developing patience in a relationship.

Most of the time, we expect our partners to be perfect. We expect them always to know how we feel and what we want.

But this is impossible!

No one is perfect.

When you stop expecting perfection from your partner, you’ll find that you’re less likely to become frustrated. Instead, focus on the good things your partner does and be thankful for them. This will help you develop a more positive outlook and reduce stress levels.

When you lower your expectations, you’ll find that cultivating patience becomes much easier.

However, don’t take the bar too low when lowering your expectations. You don’t want to be in a relationship where you’re not getting your needs met.

Find a healthy balance between having high and low expectations.

Related: 23 Couples Therapy Techniques & Exercises PDF

#3. See Things from Your Partner’s Perspective

Being empathetic will also help you develop more patience in your relationship.

When you can see things from your partner’s point of view, you’ll be less prone to losing patience. You’ll also be more understanding and forgiving towards your partner.

Remember, you are different people with different upbringings and life experiences. Take time and try and walk a mile in your partner’s shoes. This will allow you better insight and understanding of their thinking patterns.

This doesn’t mean that you must agree with everything they do or how they feel. But by understanding their perspective, you’re able to be more patient with them.

Cultivating patience will come easier when you can see things from your partner’s perspective.

Being empathetic also allows you to be more understanding of yourself. You’ll begin to understand why you do the things you do and how it affects your partner.

This increased self-awareness can help you become a more patient person.

Related: 13 Reasons The Gift Of Empathy Is A Blessing And Not A Curse

#4. Learn to Accept Uncomfortable Situations

In any relationship, there are going to be uncomfortable situations. Learning how to accept these situations can help you become more patient.

For example, your partner may want to spend time with their friends instead of you. Or they may not feel like having sex tonight. Don’t make these issues such a big deal. 

These situations can cause you to lose patience. But, if you learn how to accept them, you’ll find that being patient becomes easier.

When you can accept uncomfortable situations, it shows your partner that you care about them and their well-being. You’re not trying to control them or change them into who you want them to be.

Accepting uncomfortable situations takes practice, but it’s worth it. When you can accept the things that you can’t change, patience will come easier.

However, don’t be too accepting as this may lead to you being taken advantage of.

Related: 100+ Best Answers: What Are You Looking For In A Relationship?

#5. Communicate Effectively

Communication is critical in any relationship. When you can effectively communicate with your

Make sure that you’re constantly communicating openly and honestly with your partner. If something is bothering you, tell them. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, let them know.

The more open and honest you are with your partner, the easier it will be to develop patience.

Communication not only helps reduce stress and impatience, but it also helps build trust in a relationship.

When you have trust in your relationship, patience becomes easier.

Related: 10 Therapist Hacks How To Save A Relationship That’s Falling Apart

#6. Listen To Your Partner

Impatient people don’t listen.

Most of the time, they are waiting for someone to stop talking so they can respond.

If you’re looking to be more patient in relationships, you’ll need to be a better listener.

Don’t just listen to react. Practice active listening. This means that you’re not only hearing what your partner is saying, but you also understand it.

When you actively listen to your partner, they feel heard and understood. This can help reduce stress and impatience in the relationship.

To be a better listener, you need to give your partner your undivided attention. Put away your phone, turn off the TV, and make eye contact.

Show your partner that you’re interested in what they have to say by asking questions and responding with empathy.

You could also show active listening using mirror communication. When your partner finishes speaking, repeat what you understood to them. This way, you reduce the chances of miscommunication.

How to be patient in a relationship by listening
Photo by mentatdgt from Pexels

#7. Work on The Art of Compromise

In any relationship, there will be times when you must compromise. This is especially true in romantic relationships.

Learning how to compromise can help reduce stress and impatience.

When both partners can compromise, it shows that they care about the other person’s needs and wants.

Compromising doesn’t mean that you’re giving up your own beliefs or wants. It simply means that you’re willing to meet your partner in the middle.

You don’t always have to be correct. Sometimes, it’s more important to find a way to make everyone happy.

To compromise, you need to be able to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Try to understand how they’re feeling and why they want or believe something.

Then, come up with a solution that works for both of you.

Learning to compromise isn’t easy. When practicing the art of compromise, you will develop patience subconsciously.

Related: Why Do Guys Stop Putting In Effort? 21 Reasons

#8. Recognize Your Partner is Human

We all have flaws.

This is especially true for our partners. When you recognize your partner’s flaws, it can help reduce stress and impatience in the relationship.

Don’t try to change your partner into who you want them to be. Accept them for who they are.

When you accept your partner for who they are, it helps build trust and strengthens the bond between you two.

It also makes it easier to develop patience.

No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes. When you’re able to forgive your partner for their mistakes, it shows that you care about them and have the patience to try and work things out.

This doesn’t mean that they should use their flaws as excuses for constant misbehavior.

If your partner’s behavior is causing you harm, then you need to address the issue.

However, if their flaws are simply things that bother you and don’t affect your well-being, then try to accept them.

Remember, we all have flaws, and it’s essential to accept your partner for who they are.

Related: 121+ Let’s Get Deep Questions For Couples To Connect Again

#9. Think About the Consequences of Impatience

Think about your previous relationship.

How did impatience affect the relationship?

When you’re impatient, it’s easy to act impulsively. This can lead to a lot of problems in relationships.

For example, when you’re impatient, you might lash out at your partner or say something that you regret.

You might also make decisions without thinking them through. This could lead to disagreements and arguments with your partner.

In some cases, impatience can lead to cheating or breaking up with your partner.

When you think about the consequences of impatience, it can help you develop patience in your current relationship.

Related: Needs Vs Wants In Relationships

#10. Remind Yourself of the Benefits of Being Patient

Patience has a lot of benefits.

When you’re patient, it’s easier to control your emotions. You won’t get angry or frustrated as easily.

This can lead to a more peaceful and harmonious relationship.

Being patient also allows you to take things slow. This is especially important in the early stages of a relationship.

When you’re patient, you’re able to focus on getting to know your partner and developing a solid foundation for your relationship.

Patience can also help reduce stress levels. This is because impatient people are more likely to experience anxiety and tension.

Finally, patience helps you stay calm under pressure. This is important in times of conflict or stress.

When you remember the benefits of being patient, it can help motivate you to develop this skill.

Related: STAGES Of A Healthy Relationship

#11. Remember Love is Patient

Allow me to borrow from the Bible.

In 1 Corinthians 13:4, love is described as patient, among other things.

When you remember that love is patient, it can help you develop patience in your relationship.

Remember that love is not only patient but also kind, understanding, and forgiving.

When you embody these qualities in your relationship, it will be more fulfilling and satisfying.

Quotes on how to be patient in a relationship

#12. Learn to Deal with Impatience on Your Partners Side

One of the best ways to develop patience is understanding how your partner experiences impatience.

When you can see things from their perspective, it can help reduce tension and arguments.

For example, when your partner is impatient, they might feel overwhelmed or frustrated. They might also feel like they’re not good enough or that they’re not doing anything right.

When you understand how your partner experiences impatience, it can help you be more patient with them.

You’ll also be less likely to get defensive when they lash out at you.

It’s important to remember that we all experience things differently and that your partner’s impatience is not a personal attack against you.

When you remember this, it can help reduce stress and tension in the relationship.

#13. Take a Time-Out

If things are getting too tense or you feel like you’re about to lose your patience, take a time-out.

This is especially important if you have a history of anger issues.

When you take a time-out, you’re giving yourself a chance to calm down and relax. You can do this by taking a few deep breaths or going for a walk.

If possible, try to avoid doing anything that could lead to an argument.

When you take a time-out, you’re giving yourself and your partner a chance to cool down and relax.

This can help reduce the chances of an argument breaking out.

It’s also important to remember that time-outs should be used sparingly. If you use them too often, it can damage the trust and intimacy in your relationship.

#14. Respond, Don’t React

An impatient person reacts. A patient person responds.

“What’s the difference?”

Reacting doesn’t give you time to think. It’s in the heat of the moment. When you respond, you take time and reflect on your partner’s actions.

Responding allows you to see the situation from a different perspective and to find a resolution that works for both of you.

When you react, it’s usually because of something your partner said or did that made you angry. This can lead to an argument and more tension in the relationship.

However, if you respond, you’re able to stay calm and collected. You’re also more likely to find a resolution that works for both of you.

Arguments are never productive, but they’re even less so when one or both parties are impatient.

Try your best to respond instead of reacting and see how things can improve.

But how do you respond and don’t react?

One way to do this is by taking five deep breaths before responding to your partner when arguing. If you feel like tensions are too high, you could also walk out to allow you time to cool off.

#15. Quit the Idea of Trying to Change your Partner

One of the quickest ways to develop impatience in a relationship is trying to change your partner.

This might seem like an easy solution, but it’s not. It’s important to remember that you can’t change someone else. They must want to change themselves.

When you try to change your partner, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. You’re also putting a lot of pressure on both of you.

It’s much better to focus on changing yourself. When you do this, your partner might be more likely to change as well.

If you can’t accept your partner for who they are, then it’s not going to be a healthy relationship.

#16. Find Activities that You and Your Partner Can Do Together

Another way to build patience in your relationship is by finding mutual activities for you and your partner.

This mainly works if it’s an activity that none of you has ever done before.

When you do something new together, it takes time to learn how to do it. You’ll have to be patient with each other and take your time.

This can help reduce the amount of tension in your relationship.

It can also help build trust and intimacy.

Some examples of activities that you and your partner could do together include cooking, gardening, hiking, or biking.

Whatever activity you choose, remember to be patient with your partner as they slowly learn. Doing this also allows your partner to develop patience with you.

How to be patient in a relationship using mutual activities
Photo by Jan Venter from Pexels

#17. Make Time for Each Other

One of the best ways to build patience in a relationship is by making time for each other.

When you make time for your partner, it shows them that they’re important to you. It also gives you both an opportunity to talk and connect.

This can help reduce the amount of tension in your relationship.

It can also help build trust and intimacy.

One way to make time for each other is by scheduling regular date nights. You could also try having a weekend morning where you spend time together without any distractions.

Making time for each other doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated. It just needs to be something that you both look forward to.

#18. Don’t Compare Yourself with Other Couples on Social Media

You’ve probably seen them on social media or among your friends.

Perfect couples who seem to have it. You may have labeled some as your couple goals. This could be the reason why you’re always impatient in relationships.

Your need to be perfect is making you impatient.

When you compare yourself with other couples, it will only make you feel bad about your relationship. It will also make you more impatient.

It’s important to remember that social media isn’t always the best representation of people’s lives. What you see are usually the good moments, not the bad.

Focus on your relationship and how you can make it better. Don’t compare yourself to other couples because you will only be disappointed.

#19. Practice Self Reflection (Journal)

One way to develop patience in a relationship is by practicing self-reflection.

This means taking some time out for yourself to think about how you’re feeling and why you’re feeling that way.

With self-reflection, you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions. This can help reduce the amount of reactivity you have in your relationship.

It can also help you become more patient.

One way to practice self-reflection is by keeping a journal. In this journal, you can write down how you’re feeling daily. You could also write about any triggers that set you off and how you responded.

The more you practice self-reflection, the more aware you’ll become of your thoughts and emotions. This will help you become more patient in your relationship.

#20. Set Boundaries with Your Partner

Another way to develop patience in a relationship is by setting boundaries.

When you set boundaries, you’re telling your partner what’s acceptable and unacceptable behavior.

This can help reduce the amount of tension in your relationship.

It can also help you become more patient with each other.

There are many ways to set boundaries. You could try communicating your needs and wants clearly and concisely.

You could also try setting boundaries through actions. This means not tolerating certain behaviors from your partner and holding them accountable.

No matter how you set boundaries, you and your partner must be on the same page.

Related: 13 Ways How To Stop Overthinking In A Relationship

#21. Take Care of Yourself

Have you ever noticed how impatient you tend to be if you don’t sleep well? Or how easily agitated you get if you’ve not eaten?

Well, poor self-care could be why you’re always impatient with people. When you’re not taking care of yourself, it’s challenging to be patient with others.

It’s essential to take care of yourself if you want to maintain your patience in relationships. This means getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, and exercising regularly. If you can’t do all of these, try to focus on the most important ones to you.

When you’re taking care of yourself, you’ll find it easier to be patient with your partner.

Taking care of yourself as a way of cultivating patience in a relationship
Image by 2286921 from Pexels

How to Be Patient in a Relationship FAQ

How to Be Patient in a Long-distance Relationship?

It can be difficult to maintain your patience when you’re in a long-distance relationship.

This is because you cannot see your partner as often as you’d like.

You can do several things to develop patience in a long-distance relationship. These include:

  • Communicating with each other often. This could be through text, phone calls, video chats, or old-school letters.
  • Don’t keep track of days until you see them again. Always looking at the calendar only increases your anxiety.
  • Plan get-togethers whenever possible.
  • Practice no screen time when together
  • Adopt a pet to help take away the loneliness.
  • Learn to accept that you don’t have complete control of the situation.

Related: Harsh Facts About Long Distance Relationships & Benefits

Should I be Patient with Him or Move on?

If you’re not sure if you should be patient with your partner or move on, ask yourself these questions:

  • Does he make an effort to see me?
  • Does he make time for me in his life?
  • How often do we fight?
  • Do I feel valued and respected by him?
  • Am I happy with how our relationship is progressing?

If you answer no to any of these questions, it might be time to move on. However, if you answer yes to most or all of them, being patient might be the answer.

How do I Deal with an Impatient Partner?

If your partner is impatient with you, there are a few things you can do:

  • Talk to them about how their behavior makes you feel.
  • Set boundaries with them and stick to them.
  • Make sure they know how much his impatience is affecting your relationship.

If your partner is willing to work on their impatience, there are many ways you can help them.

However, if they’re not interested in changing his behavior, it might be time to move on.

Related: Expert Tips To Consider Before Leaving A Relationship

Any Further Questions?

Building patience in a relationship takes time and effort. It’s not something that will happen overnight.

But if you follow the tips listed above, you’ll be well on your way to developing this critical skill.

Remember to be patient with your partner as they learn and grow. And most importantly, enjoy the journey!

If you have any questions on how to be patient in a relationship, please ask in the comment section below.

I’ll be happy to answer any questions asked.

About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.