How Narcissists Destroy Empaths: 19 Things You Need To Know (2024)

Have you ever wondered how narcissists destroy empaths? This guide will reveal the strategies that narcissists use to destroy an empath partner.

In my role as a life coach, I am often helping clients understand and improve their relationships with those closest to them. 

That’s why I’m keen to share this highly transformational guide with you.   

So, let’s dive in. 

How Do Narcissists Destroy Empaths?

Below, you’ll learn 19 key points about how narcissists destroy empaths. These will help you notice that you’re being manipulated by a narcissist. 

1. Narcissists Hide In Normal Society Like A Chameleon

A narcissist is a person with an inflated sense of self-importance. The telltale signs of a narcissistic personality include superficiality, an excessive need to be admired, an unwillingness to take criticism and an unwavering belief that they’re always right.

You may read that and tell yourself that you’d never get into a romantic relationship with a narcissist. The problem is: most narcissists are good at hiding these toxic personality traits. They discover how to blend into normal society and hide their worst qualities, because this is necessary for them to get what they want from other people. 

Related content: Do Narcissists Feel Guilt? Key Insights

2. Narcissists Often Seek Relationships With Empaths

A narcissist feeds off compliments, attention and favors from other people. They seek a partner who will back up their own self-perception of them being the most important and awesome person on this planet. That’s why an empath’s kind nature attracts narcissists regularly.

Unlike narcissists, an empath is selfless in their relationship. They are kind and generous enough to deliver a narcissist whatever they need to feel good.

Even if they spot the insecurities that fuel a narcissist’s behavior, an empath will take great pride in trying to fix them.

3. A Narcissist Will Reel In An Empath And Not Let Them Go

A narcissist is a master in emotional manipulation. They will learn how to reel an empath into a relationship by presenting themselves in a specific way, only to manipulate them to get what they want later on. 

An empath is most susceptible to this bait and switch tactic, because they tend to be less guarded when it comes to who they should trust. 

How Narcissists Destroy Empaths
Photo By shurkin_son On freepik

4. Narcissists Will Take, Take, Take From Their Relationship 

Meanwhile, empaths will give, give, give to their partner. Empaths not only have a strong sense of other people’s pain and when they are in need of help, they often gain a sense of self-esteem giving this aid to others.

The problem is: no matter how much an empath gives, it will never be enough for a narcissist. They will continue to demand more from their empath partner until that partner becomes truly exhausted or fed up. This is how narcissists destroy empaths. 

It can take a while to get to the tipping point where narcissists destroy empaths, but most will manage to get there eventually, unless the empath fights back or walks away.

5. A Narcissist Will Destroy An Empath By Draining Their Energy

A narcissist can drain other people’s energy, not only with their continuous demands, but via a series of emotional manipulation strategies. These are used not only to drain their empath partner, but to convince them to remain in the relationship. 

6. A Narcissist Will Play On An Empath’s Desire To Heal Others 

It’s common that a narcissist sees how much an empath wants to heal the wounded emotions of others, and will often easily play with these desires to get what they want.

They might exaggerate how much they need the assistance of their partner, and might even blame their partner for the resulting pain they’ll feel for not getting what they want.

This strategy can often guilt an empath into sacrificing even more for their partner.

7. A Narcissist May Withhold Their Love In Order To Get More From An Empath 

An empath’s self-esteem can sometimes be greatly impacted by how much love they receive from others. If their partner is emotionally closed off, they might work even harder to earn their love.

A narcissist, should they become aware of this, might withhold their love to make their empath partner start doubting themselves and do more for them.  

8. The Toxic Relationship Between An Empath And A Narcissist 

As you may have gathered, a relationship between a narcissist and an empath rarely tends to be good for either person’s mental health. Both people’s behavior is driven by low self-esteem. Both act in a way that encourages that behavior even more. With enough self-esteem and self-awareness, the empath would escape or the narcissist would treat their partner better.

9. Empaths Struggle To Recognize Narcissistic Abuse

The narcissist moves used to manipulate an empath are subtle. An empath might be the least likely to perceive their partner’s behavior as narcissistic abuse, as most empaths wouldn’t dream of doing something so horrible to a lover.

Empaths tend to be forgiving of a partner’s ‘red flags’ and instead focus on what they can do to help them, such is their selfless nature.

10. Narcissists Create Codependent Relationships

A codependent relationship is where one person relies on the other to fulfil their emotional needs. This is incredibly unhealthy for the victim, yet a narcissist might still aim to create this reliance in a selfish attempt to get more of what they want. 

11. Narcissists Like To Destroy Empaths With Conflict

A healthy relationship is built on compromise. However, a narcissist would prefer to have everything their own way. This isn’t just because a narcissist’s ego always tells them they’re right. It’s also a way to establish dominance over their partner.

An empath – wanting to heal their partner – is more likely to give in to their partner, even if the decision is to their detriment.

12. A Narcissist Will Try To Isolate Their Empath Partner From Friends And Family

This is a common strategy in an abusive relationship – and it’s also part of how narcissists destroy empaths. By attempting to isolate an empath from their friends and family or even to turn the empath against their loved ones, they reduce the chances of these people successfully convincing them to end the relationship. 

13. Gaslighting Is Common In A Narcissist/Empath Relationship

Gaslighting is another common strategy that abusers’ use to get their own way and to convince their partner they need them. It’s common for narcissists to emotionally manipulate empaths with gaslighting too.  

14. A Narcissist May Try To Lower An Empath’s Self-Esteem

The act of making subtle digs to someone over a long period is nicknamed poison-dripping. It can affect someone’s self-esteem over time

A narcissist might do this to their partner to:

  • convince their partner that they’re always right;
  • convince their partner that they should make all the decisions;
  • destroy their partner’s self-worth, so they believe they’re lucky to have them as a partner.

15. A Narcissist Will Rarely Listen To Their Partner’s Advice

It’s one of the defining narcissistic tendencies to believe that you’re always right. A narcissist’s ego will rarely accept advice or feedback from their partner for this reason. Setting boundaries with such people is often fruitless for that reason. 

16. A Narcissist Will Accuse You Of Being Too Sensitive

If an empath tries to stand up for themselves or make accusations about their behavior, a narcissist will often snap back by playing the victim. They’ll often accuse the empath of being over-sensitive or inconsiderate.

17. A Narcissist May Transform When They Sense You’re About To Leave

Such is their unique ability to manipulate your behavior to meet their own needs, you might spot a narcissist becoming extremely kind and loving when they sense you’re about to leave, only to revert to their true self once they’ve lured you back into the relationship.  

18. What Happens When The Empath Leaves The Narcissist? 

When the empath finds the bravery to try and leave the relationship, a narcissist will often put their manipulation into overdrive. They’ll do everything they can to reel their ex back in, including guilt-tripping them.

19. Do Narcissists Love Empaths?

It’s rarely unconditional love. Narcissists often adore empaths only because they are the most likely to adhere to their selfish needs.

How Do Empaths Protect Themselves From Narcissists?

An empath can learn to destroy a narcissist, rather than be destroyed by one.

Knowing how to spot their narcissistic tendenencies is a great first step. Knowing what motivates their narcissism can help too. The tips above should help with that.

Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash

When you spot these signs of narcissism, it’s always a great idea not to emotionally react. This will allow you to make intelligent logical decisions, plus an emotional reaction is what fuels a narcissist to act the way they do. By choosing not to react, you’re essentially pouring water on their bonfire.    

From there, you can use your own people skills to pull off one of the following comebacks.  

  • When a narcissist shows passive-aggressive behavior or any other type of socially unacceptable action, calmly point it out and ask why they’re doing that. 
  • If a narcissist makes fun of you or points out one of your flaws, call it out again. Calmly point out the same flaw in them. Narcissists are highly sensitive people and they will not like you exposing their own pain, nor their own faults. A couple of good comebacks might be enough to stop them trying to bring you down. 
  • Suggest that their narcissistic tendencies might be caused by an insecurity. As a true empath, you might have a better ability to spot this inner pain than other people.   
  • Have empathy for yourself for having to deal with this person. Give yourself time and space to recover from their manipulation, perhaps permanently. Most likely, you could do without such toxic people in your life. 

When you make these attempts to destroy a narcissist, you can bet they’re going to try to fight back to try and put you back under their control. They might make themselves out to be the sole victim and pull at your emotions that way. The important thing when attempting to destroy a narcissist is to keep calm and not show that their behavior is getting to you.

Are Narcissists Afraid Of Empaths?  

An empath has the ability to see through the facade of a narcissist’s ego. They have good observational skills, analytical skills and people skills, meaning they’re usually aware that the narcissist is very insecure deep down. 

This means an empath can destroy a narcissist and turn them into the victim. When a narcissist knows you have figured him out, this can be frightening for them. 

An empath with a good sense of self-esteem and self-awareness could be particularly dangerous for a narcissist to pick a fight with.

Related Content: Best Ways To Emotionally Detach From A Narcissist

What Words Can Destroy A Narcissist?

Any words that poke a narcissist’s insecurities will help an empath destroy a narcissist. However, the most important thing is to keep hold of your emotions and show that the narcissist’s abusing behavior isn’t affecting you. As such, a powerful silence can destroy a narcissist and their sense of delusional power just as well as any words.

Related Content: EXPERT Tips – How To Talk To A Narcissist

Super Empath vs Narcissist

A Super Empath is a term given to a person who can feel the traits of empathy even stronger than most. You can learn more about the relationship between them and a narcissist in the following guide: Super Empath Vs Narcissist

Can A Supernova Empath Destroy A Narcissist?

A supernova empath is regarded as the most powerful empath of all. You bet this empath can destroy a narcissist using the tips in this guide.

Related Content: What Makes A Narcissist Panic? – Proven Strategies

Narcissist/Empath Test

If you want to learn more about whether you’re a narcissist of an empath, I’d recommend you take this narcissist/empath test.

How Does A Narcissist Destroy You?

Thanks for reading my guide on how narcissists destroy empaths.

Did I miss any narcissist strategies? Or the best way to help an empath destroy a narcissist? If so, please do point these out in the comments. Feel free to share your own experience dealing with a narcissist, also. 

If you have any questions on such an experience or the relationship between an empath and a narcissist, you can leave me a comment too. 

Not everyone has the same experience, so it would be great to hear, learn and become more aware about this topic from you.

Related Posts

71 Things Narcissistic Mothers Say

How To Deal With A Narcissistic Elderly Mother

About The Author

Bijan Kholghi is a certified life coach with the Milton Erickson Institute Heidelberg (Germany). He helps clients and couples reach breakthroughs in their lives by changing subconscious patterns. His solution-oriented approach is based on Systemic- and Hypnotherapy.